The ring of my phone broke the strained silence, and I answered it gratefully.
“Franc is finally on the move,” Asher said without a greeting. “I’m in the truck following him. I think he’s heading toward Pacifica.”
I sat up straight. “Finally. Call us if you need us.”
He agreed, and we signed off. In the rearview mirror, I glimpsed a familiar figure approaching behind us. Soon, she would pass us as she headed for the pier. I motioned to Lucy and we both crouched down until the girl passed. She crossed directly beneath a streetlight, and then settled at one of the cement benches that overlooked the beach a short distance from where we’d parked.
“Lucy, give me your wig.”
She did, and I tugged my cap off to put the wig on. I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror.
“Remy?” My sister’s voice trembled, our argument forgotten for the moment.
“That’s Erin,” I explained. “Stay here, okay? I’ll be right there if you need me, and you know what to do if something happens.”
I gestured to where Erin sat and glanced over to ensure Lucy understood. She nodded, tugging my cap over her hair. Her hands shook, and I wanted to comfort her, but there wasn’t time.
I didn’t make a beeline for Erin when I left the car. Instead, I took my time, going a circuitous route. My grandfather knew I liked Erin and that she’d helped me. If his people had spotted us in the area, he could have sent her out alone to draw me in. I sneaked glances in all directions, searching for anyone who stood out who might be a threat. It wasn’t until I was sure we were alone that I approached the bench and sat next to Erin. She stared toward the ocean where the moon allowed a peek at dark waves curling toward the sand. Her blond hair hung in waves about her face and she looked like I remembered.
“Hey,” I said nervously, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.
“Hey,” she answered in the reserved voice she used with strangers. She glanced my way, and I knew the instant she saw past the wig and recognized me. Her body tensed, and her brows shot up. “Remy? Oh my God!”
Her arms stretched out to hug me, but I shook my head and she sank back into her seat. “Don’t draw attention to us,” I told her. “Stare forward, and pretend we’re not talking.”
She did as I said, her posture relaxing after a moment. “It’s good to see you,” she said softly, clasping her mittened hands together around one knee.
“You, too. I was worried about you. Did you get in trouble for helping me?”
She shrugged and tucked the ends of her red scarf inside her coat. “Not really. I lied and said you tricked me into giving you the info.”
Relief rushed through me, followed by surprise. “You lied?” I asked. I had a hard time imagining her doing so. Erin was one of the few truly sweet people I’d ever met, though few saw past her shyness.
Her quiet laugh made me smile. “I can lie, you know. When I have a good reason to. And they definitely gave me good reason.”
I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed her until that moment. She’d been so gentle and kind when she welcomed me into the Healer community. She’d taught me about pure-blooded Healers like her who could heal without injury to themselves. The same age as Lucy, Erin had been one of the bright spots in Pacifica.
“There’s so much to tell you,” she said. Worry widened her eyes. “But first, are you out of your freaking mind? It’s dangerous for you to be here.”
Thirty yards ahead of us, the ocean barreled into the sand with a soothing rhythm and I inhaled the briny air as I evaluated how much to tell her without putting her in more danger. I pulled my knees up into my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
“It’s Franc,” I told her. “He’s taken something of mine, and I have to get it back.”
“Franc,” she whispered on a gusty exhalation. “Everything comes back to him, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. I—”
My phone rang in my pocket, and I checked the screen. It was Lucy’s number.
I answered and she spoke in a panicked rush. “Alcais is coming! You have to hide! He’ll be able to see you any second.”
Fear pumped adrenaline through me in a mad wave. “Take the car and drive away,” I ordered. “I’ll meet you in thirty minutes at the spot we talked about.”
I hung up and a car started in the distance. I prayed she would do as we’d discussed and head toward the McDonald’s near the freeway entrance.
“It’s Alcais,” I whispered to Erin. “He’s coming. I have to go.”
She nodded, but grabbed my hand. My mental walls were up, but that monster that had always wanted to attack her rose up inside me. All Protectors felt this way around Healers. It was why they had mental walls and practiced using them as children. I shoved the beast back down.
“Meet me tomorrow,” Erin said. “My mom is sending me to visit my aunt on the nine A.M. ferry from the Ferry Plaza to Tiburon. It’s the only time I’ll be alone for a while.”
“I’ll try,” I said, not making any promises.
“Be safe, Remy.”
I left her, crossing to the wall that separated the sidewalk and the beach several feet below. Then I launched my body over the ledge, dropping into a crouch in the shadows. I hid there, my heartbeat drowning out the rushing water. Soon, footsteps crunched through the grit near the bench.
“Erin, what are you doing out here alone?”
Alcais’s arrogant voice hadn’t changed a bit. Hate tasted bitter on my tongue as I slid closer to the wall and crept toward the staircase that ascended from the beach to the walkway above where Erin sat.
“You’re not my keeper,” Erin replied to her brother with more spirit than I’d heard her use with him before.
“Franc told us to stay close to home at night. You’re a fucking idiot. Can’t you do what you’re told?”
Luckily, the beach had emptied of strangers who might have noticed me crawling up the stairs. Near the top, I flattened my body, trying to glimpse Alcais as he yelled at Erin. I chanced popping my head up and my stomach roiled in revulsion when I saw him in profile, his right side to me as he faced a standing Erin with his back to the pier. The blond surfer boy with the cocky swagger and grin had been replaced by a man with a cruel expression and an aggressive stance. He wanted to intimidate his sister, and he was using his body to do it. If he hurt her, I would somehow make him sorry. I wasn’t afraid of him. Once, I’d caught him holding her hand over a flame to force me to demonstrate my powers, and I’d warned him not to hurt her again. Only the threat of what Franc would do to my father kept me still.
Erin cried out softly, and I dared another glance.
That was when I saw Asher racing toward Alcais from the left, running parallel to the beach. Protectors moved at high speeds, and he should have been invisible, but I could see him approaching with his hands clenched like he intended to snap Alcais in half.
I dropped my mental walls and shouted, Asher, don’t!
He ignored me.
Erin glanced toward my hiding spot, and our eyes met for one brief second. She must have seen my horror because her gaze flicked toward Asher, and she tensed. And then she abruptly sidestepped around Alcais and walked toward the street at a fast clip with him on her heels.
I didn’t waste the gift she’d given me. As soon as they had turned their backs, I launched forward, using my own Protector speed to race toward Asher, hoping that Alcais wouldn’t hear Asher or me. Asher was so focused on Alcais with a killing light in his eyes that he didn’t see me. I intercepted him and put every last bit of strength I had into shoving him over the barrier wall. We flew over the ledge and landed in the sand with a jarring thud. I’d scarcely registered the pain when Asher rolled away and jumped to his feet. I did the same, trembling when he crouched in readiness to attack me, his face consumed with fury.
“Snap out of it!” I snarled at him.
Recognition dawned and replaced the blind rage, and he straightened. I shifted to listen for Alcai
s and Erin, but my attention never swerved from Asher in case he tried to go after Alcais again. The siblings’ voices faded, and I didn’t think Alcais even realized we’d been there. Because of Erin. She’d saved Asher a second time.
“Why did you stop me?” Asher bit off. “I could have taken him out!”
He sounded pissed, but I didn’t care. I was every bit as angry. I invaded his space, forcing him to take a step back or bump into me.
“And then what?” I barely kept my voice from rising to a shout. “You get your revenge on him. What then? What happens to my dad if you take out one of the only leads we have?”
I wanted to hit him. The urge rose up in me, and I had to shove it down.
“I wasn’t thinking about your dad,” Asher admitted, his voice stiff.
I kicked at the sand, spraying it over his shoes. “You weren’t thinking at all. What about Erin? She once risked her life to tell me you were alive. We found you because of her. You would repay her by putting her in danger?”
He could have hurt her when he attacked Alcais. He’d been out of control. I’d seen it in the way he moved and in his expression. The idea of my friend getting hurt sent another wave of rage through me, and I turned my back on Asher to contain it.
I counted to twenty. “Let’s go,” I said in a calmer voice. “Lucy is waiting at our meeting spot.”
He fell into step beside me as we walked up the beach. I dialed Lucy to tell her we were on our way, and she sounded scared to death. Seeing Alcais had reminded her how very real the danger was, and I could tell she’d been crying. I spent a couple of minutes reassuring her before I hung up. Asher’s struggle was almost palpable, his entire body tense with suppressed emotion. I pulled off the wig, shaking it to loosen the sand I’d gotten in it when I rolled on the beach.
“Remy,” he said. He waited for me to face him. “I’m sorry.”
His shoulders bent in shame, and my anger faded slightly. I was so damn disappointed and sad. “The only thing we have going for us is the element of surprise. You almost threw that away tonight.”
He shifted, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I saw Alcais and I lost it. Everything came back at once, and I wanted to . . .”
His voice trailed off. The unfinished thought hung in the air, and I shivered. He wanted to . . . hurt him? Kill him? Violence repaid with violence. Everything we’d done these last months heaped another helping of horror upon us.
The wind picked up, and I wrapped my arms around my waist. “What are you doing here? I thought you were following Franc.”
“He drove here. By the time I found a place to park the truck and got back to the house, Franc had gone inside. I think he sent Alcais to find Erin.”
We’d waited three days for my grandfather to leave his house. Even now, he could be with my father. We wouldn’t know because Asher had abandoned him to follow Alcais. I didn’t say what I was thinking, but I guessed Asher knew. He glanced away, the muscles in his sculpted face tensing. I thought about the look he’d worn earlier. Revenge had been his only goal. How was I supposed to trust that he wouldn’t do something like this again? What if next time he put Lucy or me in danger?
Asher reached for me. The movement was so unexpected that I stiffened and stepped back. His eyes narrowed with pain, and he dropped his hand to his side. I wanted to shriek in frustration. For weeks, I’d practically begged him to touch me, waiting around for any scrap of attention he showed me. He was the one who had asked for space, but suddenly he wanted to touch me.
“I’m scared, Remy.”
His jaw clenched. Fear was a weakness, and Asher hated being weak.
“Of what?” I asked.
He ran a hand through his hair, mussing the chocolate-brown strands. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to find the words to explain how he felt. Then his eyes lifted to some spot over my shoulder. The vulnerability I’d glimpsed in him blinked out, and once again, he’d shored up his defenses with me on the outside of his walls. The razor didn’t cut as deep, dulled from overuse.
“This is one of those times when I wish I could read your mind,” I told him in a soft voice. I stepped close to him. His breath touched my face, and I longed to sink into his heat. “Let me in, Asher. Let me help you. What are you afraid of?”
I dared to hold his hand. He allowed it, and I stretched out my other hand to trace his cheek. His head tilted like he savored the feel of my fingers brushing his lips. Flames leapt in the green depths of his eyes, sparking a familiar heat in me, and then his head lowered. He kissed me, his full lips parting mine. There was no hesitation in his embrace. He wrapped both arms around my waist and yanked me off balance as he pulled me into him. Instantly, I was lost in the feel, the smell, the taste of him.
He hadn’t kissed me like this since Blackwell Falls, and all the pent-up longing I’d stored poured out of me and into our kiss. I dropped the wig to the sand. My hands explored his back, tracing his shoulder blades and following them down to his hips. I couldn’t get close enough. It had been so cold without him. He smoldered, and I wanted to throw myself into the blaze.
Without warning, he shoved me away. I stumbled and would have fallen if he hadn’t steadied me. I blinked at the pained grimace on his face, still lost in the haze.
“This,” Asher bit out through gritted teeth.
I stared at him in confusion, and he lifted my hand. That’s when I noticed the green sparks crackling where our skin touched. I’d forgotten how the air glowed so brilliantly when my body tried to heal his. I’d lost control of my powers, and I snapped my mental walls back into place. Reason returned by slow degrees, and I understood that he’d kissed me to make a point. I’d confused passion with manipulation, and I felt incredibly stupid.
“This is what I’m afraid of, Remy. Every time I touch you, the longer I’m with you, the more human I become.” He dropped my arm and stepped back, taking his heat away. The sparks faded, along with any passion I’d felt. “Didn’t you see me tonight? See how slowly I moved? How easily you overtook me? When have you ever been able to do that?”
Never. I’d tackled Gabe a couple of times, but he’d always overpowered me. Truly, I shouldn’t have been able to take Asher down the way I had, but I hadn’t hesitated. The wind tossed my hair in my face, and I scraped it back, tying it into a knot at my nape as I tried to think of a response that didn’t include slapping him.
Asher’s hands disappeared into his pockets, and he rocked back on his heels. “I’m losing my powers, Remy,” he said with despair weighing every syllable. “What good am I to you as a mortal?”
The despair broke through my hurt. My shoulders lifted in a helpless gesture. Once, Asher had longed to be mortal and prayed I could cure him. No longer. The man in front of me hated what he’d become and suffered constantly because of it. To see Asher brought so low made me want to weep.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes when I insisted, “Your powers didn’t make you a Protector, Asher. That was you. It’s who you are and what you believe. Other Protectors would have killed me on sight, but not you. You’re a good person, with or without your abilities.”
His expression didn’t change. I hadn’t convinced him. Another breeze swirled sand into the air, and it stuck to my cheek. I swiped at it and felt the wetness of tears. I wished I’d never loosened that spigot. What was the point of crying? It didn’t fix anything, and I never felt any better.
“I’m a liability,” Asher insisted. “One day they’re going to use me against you, and it’s going to kill me.”
I shook my head. “What do you want me to say? I can’t predict the future. I don’t know what will happen.”
He bent at the knees to put our eyes on level and caught me with a determined stare. “Promise me that you won’t sacrifice yourself to save me. Promise me that you’ll walk away if they ever capture me.”
Never. I would never abandon someone I loved. My mother had died because I’d left her alone
with my stepfather. I wouldn’t do that again. I didn’t have to say a word. Asher read my answer on my face. He straightened, his mouth turned down in disappointment. We always seemed to come back to this fight. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save me, but he couldn’t accept that I would do the same.
“Where does that leave us?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I really don’t.”
Later that night, I stood under the shower with hot water pelting my skin and washing sand down the drain. Lucy had gone to her bedroom as soon as we’d returned to the house. Asher hadn’t joined us. Franc’s car had left Alcais’s house by the time we’d met up with Lucy and dropped Asher at his truck. He’d texted me that he was going to stake out my grandfather’s house again and would call in the morning. I didn’t argue with him, and that said more about our relationship than I wanted to admit.
Tonight it had become very clear that we were broken, possibly beyond repair. How could you be with someone who was afraid to touch you?
An ache expanded in my chest. Asher had admitted that his powers were disappearing, but that was only one problem. Tonight, I had felt stronger and faster than ever before when I tackled Asher. The two things had to be connected because that was the way our luck ran. I would bet anything that the energy I stole from him when I “healed” him had given my powers a boost. That was going to go over well when he figured it out.
I leaned against the shower wall, my thoughts tangled in what the changes in my body could mean. I was already losing Asher. What if I was losing myself, too?
CHAPTER FIVE
I woke early the next morning with a nagging feeling that I’d forgotten something. I hadn’t slept well, and it would take a crowbar to pry my eyes open. I’d waited up for Asher, and he hadn’t come in until around three. I rubbed my feet together like a cricket and huddled under the covers to fight off the chill in the air. I started to drift off again when I remembered Erin. I was supposed to meet her on the ferry at nine.
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