by Jacob Chance
“Fuck off, Darren. You snore loud enough to wake the dead.”
“No fighting, children,” Clancy responds to their bickering. He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “There’s a huge ass couch out there that you’re both going to pass out on every night anyway. How many times do you donkeys not even make it to your room before you fall asleep?”
“You may have a point.” Flynn shrugs one shoulder.
I jump in before anyone can say anything else. “You guys can work out who’s sleeping where and settle in while I run upstairs and check on the lasagna. Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes.”
“Thanks, man. We’ll be up before then,” Clancy responds.
“Why do I feel like there’s a private joke going on I know nothing about?” Clancy, Flynn, and Darren look around, eyes bouncing between each other while they do their best to hold in laughter. “What’s going on?” Grabbing the remote, I pause the episode of World Class Wrestling mid-match.
“Let’s just say we have a little surprise for you,” Flynn rubs his palms slowly together. “We’ve been thinking about this for a while.”
“You need to fill me in on what you’re talking about. Unless this is a game and I’m supposed to guess.”
Darren chuckles, “You’d never be able to figure this out on your own.”
“Okay, then spit out the details. I can do without the fucking build up.”
Flynn chuckles, “Dude, this is so epic we need a drum roll before we tell you.”
Clancy nods at Flynn as if he’s giving him permission to speak. “We wanted to help you out so we came up with a plan.”
“Help me out in what way?” A tingle of worry begins at the base of my neck, creeping up to the top of my head like icy fingers. I barely suppress the resulting shiver. I already know this won’t be something I want to hear. When these guys ‘help’ others it usually ends up being a shitshow.
Flynn grins and I’m positive that whatever information he’s about to share, it’s nothing that’s going to please me. “We arranged an auction for your virginity.”
“You, what?”
“We arranged an online, highest bidder wins kind of auction.”
“You expect women to bid money to have sex with me?”
Flynn’s eyes flash with excitement. “Dude, it’s already begun and they are bidding. Apparently, women get off on teaching a guy what to do in bed. Who knew?”
“This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You mean ingenious?” Darren chimes in.
Perri clucks her tongue against her top teeth. “You guys are disgusting pigs.”
“Oh, come on. We’re not that bad,” Darren reasons.
“Perri, are you saying you wouldn’t bid on our boy here?” Flynn queries wrapping an arm around me. I shrug loose from his hold and focus on Perri.
Floundering, she opens and closes her mouth, repeating the motion as she struggles for words.
“Guys, leave her alone.” I jump to her rescue, glaring pointedly between the two of them. I don’t want these guys putting Perri on the spot because of some asinine plan they dreamed up.
Clancy, unusually quiet until this point, leans back in the leather chair and crosses his arms over his wide chest. A smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth. “Originally, we were going to hold the auction on Valentine’s Day. But then we talked it over and decided it would be better to start the new year off with a bang, so to speak.” Everyone laughs. Everyone, but Perri and me.
“Guys, what the fuck?” I throw my arms in the air, palms up. “I don’t want to auction off my virginity.”
“Dude, it’s too late. We’ve already gotten offers and the bidding has officially started,” Flynn explains.
“I don’t care. That’s your problem, not mine. Cancel it.”
“We can’t. Your name is the only one associated with the event. There’s a fifteen hundred dollar nonrefundable fee.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s not bad enough you planned this without my knowledge, but you put my name on the event and if I cancel, I’ll have to come out of pocket for the fee?” Flynn nods. I can feel my anger rising. My fists clench and open as I think about which one of them is going to get their ass kicked first.
“Nolan, calm down,” Clancy soothes. “Think about this before you get upset. We’re going to give half of the money to the boys and girls club that Owen and I volunteer with. That money can go a long way to helping them improve the programs they offer. It will give those kids more opportunities that they desperately need. These are inner city kids who need positive influences and a safe place to go.”
“I’m not against helping charities, I just don’t want to auction off my dick to fund it.”
Flynn shakes his head. “Dude, don’t be so dramatic. It’s a cock. It’s meant to be used. What are you saving it for?”
“I’m not saving it, but I don’t think having sex for the sake of getting it over with is the answer either.”
“But you do agree giving the money to the charity is a selfless thing to do?”
I run a hand through my hair and frustratedly tug on the strands. “Yes, but--”
“No buts, Nolan. Either you want to help out these kids or you don’t.” Clancy shrugs. “Which kind of person do you want to be? The hero or the selfish asshole?”
“Whoa, it’s not that cut and dried.”
“Yes, it is. You’re making it more difficult than it needs to be. It’s just sex. And dude, once you start having it, you’re going to kick yourself for not doing it sooner. You’ll be just as bad as the rest of us,” Darren chimes in.
Have they all gone mad? I feel like I’m living in some alternate universe where nothing makes sense. Glancing at Perri, I find her wide eyes frozen on me, and a concerned expression on her face. Does she agree that this is the most bizarre situation ever? I couldn't have dreamt this scenario up if I tried. I can’t believe these dumb shits came up with this ridiculous plan. There has to be a way out of this. But what if there isn’t?
“What happens to the other half of the money?” I question. Is this a way to line their pockets?
“We’d split it between you and the frat.”
“So you want me to get paid for sex like a prostitute?”
“Don’t think of it that way,” Flynn replies.
“How should I think about it? Taking money for sex is the definition of a prostitute. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to a charity or not. It’s all the same.”
“Why don’t we table this discussion for the rest of the night? We can iron out the details some more tomorrow,” Clancy suggests.
“Iron out details? Did you not hear me say I’m not doing it?”
Clancy’s eyes land on me. “I did and we can talk about this some more tomorrow. When you’ve had more time to think about it. Let’s go out and have some fun.”
“I second this idea,” Flynn interjects. “Is there anywhere nearby that we can get a little banged up?”
“There’s a club a few miles away. They have live band performances all the time,” I answer sullenly.
“What are we waiting for?” Darren pops up from the couch like a jack in the box.
“I’ll drive,” I offer, knowing these guys aren’t going to skip out on drinking. And as angry as I am right now, I don’t want anything to happen to them.
“I’m going to grab a jacket and my wallet,” Clancy stands and walks toward the basement door.
“I need mine too.” Flynn calls out following after him. Darren pats each back pocket. “Shit. Where’s mine?” He hurries off, leaving Perri and me alone.
I remain seated on the couch, my elbows just above my knees and hands dangling between my legs. Perri rises from the same recliner she gave me a facial in the night before to amble over and sink down on the cushion next to me.
“Are you okay?”
I tip my head toward her. “I guess I have to be, but I can’t even wrap my brain around what just hap
pened. And how is it that I’m a bad person if I don’t want to go through with their plan?”
She places her palm on my forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry about it for the rest of the night. I’ll be the designated driver and you can enjoy your time with your friends.”
“I don’t need to drink to enjoy myself.”
“I believe that about you, but your friends are here and I want you to relax and have fun.”
“Both of those might be a tall order after the bomb they just dropped on me.”
“I know, or it might be exactly what you need. Try not to let their nonsense affect you. I’m only here for a few more days and I don’t want you to be down during that time. We’ve been having so much fun.”
I smile at her. “We have, haven’t we?” My smile fades. “Before they got here, anyway.”
“Well… I didn’t want to say that because I don’t want to seem like a selfish shrew. However, I
really enjoyed our time alone.”
“Me too. Maybe we--”
“Let’s get cracking.” Clancy claps his hands together interrupting me. Flynn and Darren follow behind him, and I all can think of is Larry, Moe, and Curly. My father and I are Three Stooges fans and have seen damn near every episode ever made. My friends and their absurd ideas are like a modern version of the Stooges, minus the eye poking. And it may be the perfect moniker for the three of them and their moronic actions.
We begin to pile into my mother’s new Explorer with me driving and Perri in the passenger seat.
“Yo, Nolan. This isn’t going to work,” Flynn steps back out onto the driveway.
“What’s going on?”
Flynn appears at the passenger side window and Perri lowers it. “We’re too big to fit back there.” He winks at Perri and she giggles.
“What do you mean you can’t fit back there?”
“Our shoulders are too wide. We can’t close the doors,” he explains.
Clancy slides out the back door. “Perri, why don’t you switch with me. I’m sure Flynn and Darren will enjoy having you back there more than me.”
Flynn opens her door and holds out his hand, assisting her from the seat as if he’s some southern gentleman, instead of the opportunistic dog he really is.
“Why thank you, kind sir,” Perri plays along as he leads her to the back door. She climbs inside and my eyes seek her out in the rear view mirror, but she’s focused on fastening her seat belt.
We finally get on the way. Fortunately, it’ll only take us a few minutes to reach Rafferty’s because Flynn and Darren seem to be enjoying Perri sitting between them a little too much. My narrowed eyes keep returning to the rear view mirror to watch them and make sure they’re keeping their hands to themselves.
Flynn nudges Perri’s shoulder. “How do you feel about football players?” Fucker.
“They’re okay. It depends on which football player you’re talking about. Some are nicer than others.”
“What do you think of me?” Darren jumps in on the conversation and I want to strangle him.
“You seem fine, but we haven’t spoken much. I guess I’ll have to reserve judgement for later on in this trip.”
Darren smiles. “Fair enough.”
Flynn lowers his head. “So Perri, have you ever been in the middle of two big guys like us before?” His tone is deceivingly soft as if he’s merely curious on the most innocent level. He doesn’t want her to realize he’s having visions of fucking her at the same time as Darren. Flynn can act like he’s the epitome of morals, but I know there’s nothing innocent about this motherfucker’s question.
“It’s too bad your little brother had other plans. He seems like a cool shit.” Clancy interrupts my eavesdropping. He runs a hand down his beard and looks my way.
“He is, as far as little brothers go. He hasn’t seen his local friends since the start of school. A lot of them weren’t home for Thanksgiving break.”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t think he does. But maybe that’s why he hurried out the door right after dinner.”
Clancy chuckles, “Guaranteed pussy will make a guy rush off for sure.”
Once we’re parked and on our way toward the front entrance, I nudge Flynn to the side and slide up next to Perri. She smiles over at me and I feel a weak sensation in my stomach. I’d never admit the effect she has on me to the guys because they’d ridicule me mercilessly.
It’s ladies night at the club, so Perri passes on through while the rest of us pay the cover charge. I’ve never been here before, but they have a reputation for booking solid bands. At least the music should be good.
Clancy leads the way across the packed floor and the crowd magically parts for him. When we reach the bar, a space opens up for him to slide into and place our order. That’s Clancy, though. He’s larger than life, and his presence is undeniable. I don’t know if guys are more intimidated by his size or his natural confidence. He commands notice in every room he enters. What’s it like to have that effect on people? And does he realize he does, or is he unaware?
Clancy hands me a beer and faces the bar again. I take a deep pull and enjoy the cool liquid sliding smoothly down. I don’t like to drink hard liquor, but beer is another story.
Perri nudges my arm with hers, gaining my attention. “Do you like to dance?”
“Sometimes. I guess it depends on my mood.” I tip the bottle back for another long sip.
“How’s your mood tonight? Because I feel like dancing.” Dancing with Perri? Jesus. I might not be able to handle being that close to her in this darkened bar. It’s like an invitation to do something I shouldn’t, like kiss her.
Shrugging, I reply, “I’m not sure. I guess we’ll have to see.” I gulp down the remainder of the bottle.
“Or I could ask Flynn to dance with me.” Staring up at me, she coyly twirls a long, dark lock around her finger.
I almost choke at her words, and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “You could.” I nod and notice a fleeting glimpse of disappointment on her face. “But then you’d have to deal with his wandering hands.”
Maybe she wouldn’t mind him touching her. Maybe that’s what she wants.
“Unless you’re interested in him that way?”
Or is she trying to goad me into dancing with her?
Why do girls have to be so complicated? Is there an app I can buy that decodes phrases girls say and why they say them? If not, someone should help me out and invent one because I suck at this.
When she doesn’t reply, my stomach knots with insecurity. Shit. She likes Flynn. I lean forward. “Are you interested in him? I can put in a good word for you.”
Perri’s lips separate before pressing together once more. I know she wants to say something, but she’s holding back. Her gaze quickly sweeps to the side, avoiding mine. When her eyes connect with mine once more they look glassy as if she’s upset. But when she grins widely, showing two rows of perfect teeth, my suspicion is dispelled. I must’ve imagined it.
“Flynn is pretty hot.” Her eyes travel over him.
My teeth clench with jealousy. I can’t compete with Flynn. He’s got two years on me and he looks like he’s twenty-five. Standing near him, I feel like an awkward teenager who’s inferior in every way. Especially where he’s got so much experience when it comes to sex. How do I measure up against him? Fuck this.
I need more beer. Much more.
“You know what? I think I’m gonna grab another beer. You want one?”
Chapter Sixteen
Perri
I shake my head and watch Nolan as he walks away. He pissed me off when he told me I could ask Flynn to dance. First of all, I don’t need his permission. And secondly, I want him to care that I might want to dance with another guy. If he doesn’t, then he has no feelings for me. And as much as I pretend contrary, I want him to care. I want him to give me a sign that he wants me as much as I want him. I’m tired of pretending I’m only inte
rested in him as a friend. If I knew for sure he was serious about pursuing me, I’d be willing to see what happens. Is it too much to ask that a guy thinks I’m worth putting in the effort?
Nolan admitted he was attracted to me first, and now he’s treating me like he couldn’t care less if I dance with another guy. My eyes land on Flynn’s attractive form. Maybe Nolan needs to be shown how much he cares. And if he doesn’t react, at least I’ll know where I stand with him.
I stroll over to Flynn, and tap him on the arm. “Hey, want to dance?”
“With you?” He seems surprised.
“Yes, with me, silly. Who else would I be asking for?”
“I figured you’d be dancing with Nolan.” He smirks letting on that he knows I have a crush on him. My gaze wanders to Nolan leaning against the bar. His jaw is clenched firmly and his eyes are on me. I turn back to Flynn.
“I wanted to dance with him, but he turned me down. So, I thought I’d ask you and see how it goes.”
He cocks his head. “You mean, see if he gets worked up enough to change his mind?”
“Exactly. I like you.” I pat his solid chest. “You get me.”
“Okay, I’ll be a pawn in your dirty little plan. But don’t break my heart.”
“Pfft. Rumor has it that your heart is between your legs and I’m not going anywhere near there.”
He barks out a laugh. “Do you want to check and see if the rumors are true?”
I whack him in the chest. “Ew, no.”
“Ew? That’s one I’ve never heard before. Trust me, my heart is very attractive and... intimidating.”
“I’ll take your word for it since I have no interest in seeing for myself.”
“Go easy on me, babe. You might crush my ego. Girls are usually a lot nicer to me. Especially when they want something.”
My eyes roll before I can stop them. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your fragile manhood.”
He guffaws, “My manhood? You’re hilarious. You and I should be friends.”
“Do you know how to be friends with a girl? I mean friends that don’t screw.”
