by Jacob Chance
“No problem. Donovan, have fun tonight and be safe. In all ways,” I instruct, placing a hand on his arm.
He laughs. “No worries there, Perri. Safe is my middle name. Happy early New Year.”
“You too.” I scurry off and jog up the stairs, barely making it inside my room before the tears start to flow. I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to feel so deeply for him when this auction is approaching. I haven’t given it a single thought since Christmas when Eliza and I looked at the bids.
Should I take another look? Why not?
Swiping the tears from my cheeks, I grab my laptop from the messenger bag and set it up on the bed. Twisting my hair into a knot on top of my head, I sink down onto the mattress and set the computer in my lap. Holding my breath, I bring up the frat page like Flynn instructed last time. I click on the link, nervous about what I’ll find.
The same pictures of Nolan appear and I don’t take the time to look them over. Immediately, I scroll down to see what the bids look like.
Kendra, Flynn’s sister has placed the highest bid so far - seven hundred and fifty dollars. Holy crap that’s a lot of money. I’ve never spoken with the girl and I already loathe her. I slam my laptop shut and move it to the bed beside me. I’m done worrying about this for now. When I get back to Boston, I have some thinking to do. Falling back onto the pillows, I curl on my side and close my eyes, blocking out all my thoughts.
“Wow, you look amazing,” Nolan compliments as I step down from the final stair.
“Thank you.” I smooth a hand over my hair, annoyed with myself. I spent too much time on my appearance hoping to impress someone who can never be more than a friend. With the auction coming up, I need to remind myself that friendship is all we’ll ever have. As agonizing as it is to think about, it’s the reality check I need. Protecting my heart and not falling for him any more than I already have has to be a priority for me. We’ve been calling ourselves friends, and acting like anything but. Somewhere along the way my feelings for him surpassed liking him and moved on into the loving zone. It’s not too late to stop this convoluted situation. If there’s a shred of relief to be had, at least the auction hasn’t already taken place. I can do my best to get a handle on the situation starting right now.
As I walk toward Nolan, my eyes eagerly drink him in. Wearing jeans and work boots, a combination I’ve always liked, he looks rugged. His black pea coat adds a touch of class and the plaid flannel shirt he has on under it looks soft enough to take a nap on.
“You...look really nice.” I trip over my own tongue.
“Thank you. Are you all set to leave?” His appreciating gaze traces over me, warming me from the inside out.
I nod and press my glossed lips together, hanging back a bit as he starts for the door. I don’t want to get too close. If he touches me, I’ll forget about my plan.
He opens the front door and leads me out onto a deck that runs the width of the house. We’ve never gone out this way before. Usually we exit from the basement.
Because the house is situated on a hill and we’re up on the second floor, there’s a panoramic-worthy shot of the mountains.
“This view is gorgeous.” I walk over to the railing and set my hands down on the cold wood. “The sky is so clear up here. Do you have a telescope?”
“Yep, during the warmer months I set one up out here. This is a great place to contemplate your worries.”
“Do you have a lot of those?”
“No more than most, I guess. But that doesn’t mean they’re not monumental to me.”
“What kind of things do you worry about?”
“Mostly stuff that has to do with my future. What career I’ll end up doing. Will I be happy?”
“I think most people our age worry about those things,” I’m quick to reassure.
“What do you worry about?”
“I wonder what I’ll end up doing with my dancing. Will I teach dance or keep performing? Sometimes I wonder if I’ll use my journalism degree. Will I get married and have kids?”
“Do you want those things?”
“Not soon, but yes, someday. What about you?”
“Do I want to get married and have kids?” he repeats. I nod. “I do, but I’m so young that it won’t be anytime soon.” He holds out his hand for me to take. “Come on. We have a reservation and I’m sure we’ll need to keep it.”
I realize I shouldn’t accept his help down the stairs, but I’m wearing boots with heels. So, I place my palm on top of his and his fingers close around mine, reminding me of all the reasons to keep my distance.
Chapter Thirty
Nolan
“This is one of my favorite restaurants. I don’t go out for Chinese food anywhere else because it always pales in comparison,” I explain.
“Really? That’s why you insisted on ordering so much from the menu. I thought you were abnormally hungry,” she giggles.
“I like leftovers. And if I ride back to Boston with you tomorrow, I can bring them with me.”
“There’s a Chinese restaurant by my parents’ house that’s amazing. I’ll have to take you there and you can see how it measures up.” Once the words are out of her mouth she frowns.
“Is something wrong?”
She shakes her head. “No”
“You were frowning and I was curious why.”
“I didn’t mean to. I have a lot to do this week. I’m working every night.”
“Friday night too?” I have to ask. That’s the night of the auction. If she’s working then that means she’ll be too busy to be one of the girls bidding for me. Damn. I was hoping that she would want me enough to make sure no one else wins. Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.
“Yeah, Friday night too. But I’m off Saturday at least. I’ll be ready to sleep all day at that point.”
“Does your job pay well? I’m sorry if that’s too invasive of a question. You don’t have to answer.”
“It pays better than any other job I know of for students. I make enough to pay my share of the rent and my cell phone. My parents bought me my car. I’m only responsible for the insurance. And I’m able to put a little away for a rainy day once in a while.”
“And you enjoy your work. That’s really important.”
“I do. I love dancing there. Performing live for the audience is a blast. What about you? Have you ever had a job?”
“I worked at the local ice cream shop every summer from the time I was fifteen until I went off to B.U.” She seems surprised. “Didn’t you expect me to say I’d had a job?”
“Well...I...uh, I kind of assumed that with your dad’s job and the huge house you live in that you didn’t need to.” She looks ashamed.
“My parents didn’t force me to work, I wanted to. It might surprise you to know that I also built some furniture out of recycled things like my dad and I did with the barstools. Those pieces made me a decent chunk of change.”
“If you like creating things you should do more of it. Why not start a business of your own?”
“It’s a definite possibility.”
Our server appears beside our table and unloads various dishes from her tray. Perri and I watch in silence, both of us too busy salivating at the incredible sight and scents assailing us to say anything.
The waitress slips away and we both begin adding a little of everything to our plates. I add more on than I normally do, but it’s not football season and one night won’t hurt.
We both moan as we each take the first bite of food. We barely pause between bites for the first few minutes. I’m basically shoveling food into my mouth at this point because nothing has ever tasted this good.
Perri puts her fork down and takes a sip of water. “Oh my God. This is amazing. You might be right. I think this might beat the place we go to near my folks’ house.”
I’m too busy chewing to answer, so I nod. Once I swallow down the mouthful, I sip on my water and watch Perri. She seems out of sorts and I don’t know why. M
aybe I’m being overly sensitive, but there’s something different between us tonight. Sure, she’s answered all my questions and asked some of her own, but there’s a hollow look in her eyes. She seems sad or concerned.
“Hey, have you given any thought to us taking a trip to Vegas? We could go for spring break.”
She stares down at her plate and her brows press together forming a vertical line of worry. “No. I haven’t.”
“Well you should. We’d have a blast and you could introduce me to your friends.”
Her eyes briefly hit mine before she looks down at her food once more. “I’m not sure I want to go.”
“What? I thought you said you did.”
“You asked me in front of your parents and I didn’t know what to say.” If that’s not the lamest answer she could come up with, then I don’t know what is.
“You don’t know how to speak for yourself?” I press.
“Of course I do,” She rebounds sassily before hanging her head.
“Then why would you agree to something you didn’t want to do instead of saying no thanks?”
“It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”
I bite my tongue and fork more food into my mouth to keep myself from saying something I’ll regret. Something’s clearly wrong and if I get angry with her it will only exacerbate the situation.
I let it go and don’t bother to initiate any more conversation for the remainder of the meal. I’m not sure where it all stems from. Did we have a fight and I don’t realize it?
Once we’re inside the house Perri turns to me. “Thank you for dinner. It was great.”
“You’re welcome. What do you want to do now? We could watch some more Game of Thrones.”
I fully expect her to jump at the chance.
“I’m not feeling great. I’m going to head upstairs and lay down.”
I take a step forward and catch her upper arms, holding her in place. “What’s really going on with you?”
“I told you… I’m not feeling well.” Staring down into her dark irises, I silently urge her to tell me what she’s thinking. I can’t help if she won’t confide in me. Her eyes tell me to leave her alone. She doesn’t want to talk about it. Releasing her arms, my hands slide down and briefly catch her hands.
“Go get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” I force a smile to my lips and let go of her, taking a step back.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
Before she can turn from me, I walk away, heading toward the couch. I’m not going to show how much her behavior is affecting me.
My head’s a whirling mess trying to figure out what’s changed since lunch today. Sinking down onto the leather seat, I rest my head back and replay the conversation in my mind. Was it because Donovan joined us? No, she was joking with him. What else was said that could’ve triggered this behavior?
Was it because the auction was brought up? Is that what has her upset? I hope that’s the reason. If it’s the auction, that means she cares about me as much as I care about her. We were never just friends in my mind. I think I fell in love with her when she poked her finger in my chest at the Halloween party and demanded to know where Eliza was. I grin as I picture her eyes flashing fire at me.
What am I going to do about the auction? We have to make it through that and I’m not sure we’re at a place where we can.
My head turns to Perri as she starts the sport utility. “Do you want me to drive so you can sleep? You have to work tonight.”
Her eyes flick my way and instantly retreat. “I’m fine.”
“Are you really? Because you’ve been weird since last night.”
“Weird? Gee, thanks. I’ve always wanted to be weird.” She puts sunglasses on and shifts into drive. I can tell by the stubborn set of her jaw that she’s annoyed by what I said. I remain quiet until we’re on the main road.
“What’s going on with you? I feel like you’re mad at me, but I don’t know why.”
“Maybe you have a guilty conscience.”
“My conscience is crystal clear.”
“Maybe you have an active imagination.” My eyes trace over her elegant features, searching for answers, but her large shades hide her eyes.
“Are you not feeling well?”
“I feel fine.”
“You sure? You’re not having any cramps?”
“Hold up right there.” She shoves her palm toward my face without taking her eyes from the road. She steers us along the curvy road with one hand. “If you’re insinuating that I must have my period you’re going to regret it.”
“I’m not.” I hold up both hands. “I only want you to be happy.” Now please put both hands on the wheel. Christ. I was hoping it was her period instead of not knowing what’s wrong with her.
“And you think badgering me with questions is the way to make sure I am?” She tsks, “You have a lot to learn about women.” Her hand returns to grip the black leather wheel.
“Tell me about it,” I mutter.
Perri reaches down and turns up the radio, ending all chance of conversation.
“Nolan, we’re here.” Perri pokes my arm to wake me.
My eyes pop open. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to doze off on you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Some co-pilot I am.” Undoing my seatbelt, I turn to her. “Thank you for coming to Vermont.” What can I say? I had a confusing time with you? “I had a... great time with you.”
“Me too. Thanks for having me.” Her tone is lackluster and she won’t look my way.
Opening the door, I climb out and shove it closed without peering back at her. I head to the hatch and remove my bags. Slamming it shut, I knock on the back to let her know I’m set. I’ve barely stepped onto the sidewalk when she speeds off. What the fuck?
The house is quiet and since it’s before noon most of the guys will still be asleep. I go straight to my room, drop the bags on my floor and crash onto my bed. I kick my boots off the edge and they fall to the floor with a thunk.
It’s crazy how things can be going so well with a girl and then BAM, everything changes and you have no idea why. Is this what people mean when they say girls create drama? I wish I knew for sure what the core of the problem is. The auction is the only thing that makes sense to me. Now, what to do about that situation is a whole other problem that I need to figure out ASAP.
It’s been two days since we got back to Boston and for the most part Perri’s ghosting me. She replies with token answers to my texts and she never answers my calls. I miss her and I’m going out of my mind imagining her with someone else. Is that why she had a change of heart?
Copious amounts of coffee and working out like a fiend are all that’s keeping me going at this point.
“Nolan?”
I turn to find Eliza behind me in line at the coffee shop closest to the frat. “Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good. How was your vacation? Aren’t you back early?”
“Yeah, I could’ve stayed in Vermont for another week, but I’m back for the auction. I’m sure Perri must’ve told you about that fiasco.”
“Oh yeah, she did.”
“What are you doing here and not back home with your family?”
“I came with Owen, he’s outside in his truck. And I wanted to see Perri. She’s been keeping to herself since she’s been back.”
The girl waiting on me slides my coffee across the counter. “What would you like?” I ask Eliza.
“No, you don’t need to get ours.”
“I insist.”
“One large black and one large regular.”
“I’ve noticed Perri’s acting different with me and I’m not imagining it.” Eliza seems hesitant to answer.
“Eliza, please. Help me out. I’m crazy about her and I’m not sure what’s wrong.”
“She’s been avoiding me too. Something’s going on and I have a pretty good idea what it is.”
“I was wondering if
she was upset about the auction. Everything was good until it was brought up in a conversation. From that point on she was distant with me.”
“I think you’re right. The auction is a really strange situation to have to deal with. If she wants more than friendship with you, why would she put herself out there knowing you’re going to be screwing someone else?”
“I never thought of it that way. We both said we wanted friendship, but I know for me, that was just a way to spend time with her. I was willing to settle for friends only rather than nothing.”
“But you guys haven’t been acting like friends only. I’ve never kissed my friends. Maybe that makes me strange, but at least it doesn’t muddle the situation.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“What are you going to do now? That’s the important question.”
“I have an idea, but I’ll need some help accomplishing it. Are you willing to help me?”
Chapter Thirty-One
Perri
“I won’t say I told you so.” I arch a brow at Eliza. “You and Owen are meant to be together.”
“I know. But I’m not here to talk about Owen and me. What about you and Nolan?”
“There is no Nolan and me.”
“Why not?”
“He’s going to lose his virginity to someone else.”
“It could be you he’s losing it to.”
“How do you figure?”
“Set up a profile and bid on him.”
“I don’t want people seeing me bidding on his virginity. That’s… humiliating. And my father would kill me.”
“Set up a profile under a fake name. Then no one will know it’s you.”
“I don’t know.”
“Look, do you care about him or not? It’s that simple. First thing you need to do is make up your mind about whether he’s a friend or more.”
“I already know the answer to that.” My head hangs for a moment and when I’m ready I glance at Eliza and say the words I’ve never admitted out loud. “I’ve fallen in love with him. I know it hasn’t been long, but I’ve never felt such ease and comfort with a guy. He takes care of me and worries about me.”
