Sam cut his eyes at me, his face pale. I wrapped my arms around my chest. Emmanuel looked at Eve, and she nodded. He turned to face the class and clapped his hands together. The room fell silent. The door opened a crack and Deirdre eased herself back into the room. I twisted in the opposite direction.
“Okay. Change of plan. All senior students will be participating in an excursion today. Jose, Prya, Frank, Lydia, Mark, Li, Abel, Elle?” Emmanuel reeled off the names, and the students moved toward him. “You are going with Jabol, he is waiting for you outside my office. Deirdre will follow you down and open a slip.” Deirdre nodded, and they filed out through the door. Frank saluted at us as they followed the others out. Lydia shot us a mournful look.
“Peter, you will take the rest of the students through with you to New York,” Emmanuel ordered.
Peter looked up from his notebook in surprise. “I don’t have any tickets for them. It’s a sold out show, Emmanuel.”
Emmanuel emptied his lungs slowly. “Peter. There’s no need to bring them to Broadway with you. Just travel with them, arrange a time and place to meet them so you can return home together. These students can be trusted to entertain themselves in the city on a summer’s day. Correct?”
Jasmine squeezed my arm and let out a little squeal of excitement.
Eve gave me a hint of a smile as we followed Deirdre out of the room. I turned on the staircase, galloping back to her. “Eve, will you tell Cat where I am gone? She is a bit antsy since the whole London thing. Tell her I have my phone.”
I patted my back pocket. Eve nodded, and we stood for a moment in silence. She reached out and touched my shoulder. It was the longest we had been in the one place since our argument a week before. Eve hadn’t brought up leaving again or answered my question. I hadn’t asked. “Have a nice day, Grace. I want you to be happy.”
I covered her hand with mine. Lucas stamped on the bottom step and Eve shooed me away, but she watched me run down the stairs until we couldn’t see each other anymore.
Elijah grabbed me when I reached the bottom step and swung me around. “Grace, you little legend. You have no idea how badly I needed to stock up on candy.”
He set me back down on the ground, one arm still around my waist. Sam kicked the front door open, and it slammed against the wall. “Slip is open. Deirdre’s waiting.”
His voice was edged with ice. Jasmine shot a warning look over her shoulder at Elijah as she followed Sam out the door. Lucas grinned and aimed a kick at Elijah’s ass, shoving him toward the front steps. “Just keeping pushing those buttons, Eli. Dude is going to implode. And just think of poor Megan? She’s already losing her crap about having to come to the city with our group. Don’t break her little, frozen heart.”
Elijah gave him a one-fingered salute, and I skipped down the stone steps ahead of them, scanning the front lawn. A fine mist of rain sprayed my face. Jasmine and Peter were already disappearing through the slip. Megan was standing beside the tear in space, arguing with Deirdre.
Deirdre’s lips were puckered as if the words tasted sour on her tongue. “Megan, stop. You’re going to New York. Emmanuel is the Master, it’s his decision. Trust me, you aren’t the only one that thinks it’s a waste of time, not to mention dangerous. Not that he cares. Off gallivanting to research some whim of Eve’s, leaving me here all day like a half-witted gatekeeper.”
Elijah appeared at my shoulder, exchanging a loaded glance with Megan. “Where’s Emmanuel going, Deirdre? Is he taking Eve? Or Cain?”
Lucas stepped around him and jumped through the slip into the bright sunshine on the other side. Deirdre flapped her hands, brushing the light drizzle off her face. “I have no idea where that man is going, Elijah, he’s opening his own gate. He’s going alone. Cain and Catherine are staying to help Paul with the kids. Eve is probably eating bonbons with a silver spoon in her room.”
Elijah’s shoulders relaxed, and he tilted his head in Megan’s direction. She nodded, and they walked through the slip together, whispering. They had been glued to each other all week, constantly deep in conversation. Lydia was convinced they were madly in love, but it didn’t look very romantic to me. Deirdre raised her eyebrows at me, waving me forward through the gate and sealing it without a word.
The warm air hit me the moment I passed through the slip, bathing my damp skin in soothing heat. A vast expanse of green grass spread around our feet and trees lined the meandering path. Sam was standing apart from the rest of the group with his back pressed against the base of a majestic White Elm tree. Dawn had gone through a horticultural phase, it had been relentless, nature documentaries playing twenty-four hours a day. On the upside, I was impressive at plant identification. Silver lining.
Peter checked his wristwatch. “I’m afraid it would be foolish of me to delay, children. You have money? Phones?”
Elijah flashed his mobile and a wallet full of cards at his uncle. Peter nodded and made his way down the path, his cane tapping on the cement walkway. “Good, good, children. We will meet at the carousel in at six o’clock this evening. Sufficient?”
Peter disappeared out of view without waiting for a response. Lucas bobbed his head. “Sufficient indeed, old pal. Try not to murder anyone in my absence.” Jasmine punched him in the stomach, grinning at his impression. “Sorry, Jasmine old girl, it’s just you remind me so much of your dear Uncle Batman.”
I snorted, and Jasmine threw me a look of mock devastation. Lucas smirked at me. “Hey, welcome to New York City, Ms. Ireland. This your first time?”
“It is, Mr. U.S. of A. Thanks for that patronizing welcome,” I retorted. He stuck his tongue out at me, and I snickered. “Is this Central Park? Are we meeting Peter at the carousel?”
Lucas nodded and I bared my teeth. “Totally awesome, dudes!”
My attempt at an American accent sounded like a mix between a leprechaun and a pirate. Lucas tilted his head and threw Jasmine a puzzled smile. She shrugged her shoulders and laughed.
Elijah tapped his foot on the ground. “Hey, why don’t Megan and I go check if the carousel is open?” He raised his eyebrows at Megan, and she followed him. Sam appeared at my side and tugged at my hand, gesturing with his eyes for me to come with him. Jasmine and Lucas made faces at each other. “So, we’ll meet everyone at the carousel in an hour? Jas, make sure Lucas doesn’t go shopping, or you’ll be late. I’ll save you a seat on the carousel, Grace,” Elijah called back over his shoulder.
I waved my thanks at Elijah, and Sam’s grip tightened on my fingers. Jasmine gave me an encouraging smile and grabbed hold of Lucas, dragging him down the path, leaving Sam and me alone on the grass.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sam and I walked. Down the path, over a little bridge, through playing fields. Trying to escape the silence that slithered between us like a black mamba. The week of failed training had strained any attempt at rebuilding our friendship. My heart had developed a new rhythm as it contracted and relaxed with each beat. Hope-pain, hope-pain, hope-pain.
The park was full of people. Every age, every color. A vibrant mishmash of life. I let Sam take my hand, tentatively, but he stared straight ahead, clenching his jaw and releasing it. We paused beside a playground and I yanked free. I sat down on a park bench, unable to bear the tension.
“Okay, Sam. Just get it off your chest. Whatever you want to tell me. You’re seeing Megan and so is Elijah? You and Prya are expecting a baby? You want a new training partner? Seriously, just get it over with so we can actually have a nice day for once, buddy.” I cringed inwardly, and folded my arms, waiting for him to sit down beside me.
He didn’t. Instead, he crouched down in front of me and rested his head on my knees. “I’m not the catcher in the rye.”
His words were muffled. Instinctively, I pressed my hand against the nape of his neck, slipping my fingers under the collar of his shirt. “What?”
Sam lifted his head, and the seal around my heart cracked open, painfully. “You’re disappointed in me. I n
ever pretended to be anything else, Grace. I never said I was the good guy.”
I pushed his hair back off his forehead, unable to remove my hands now that they had touched his skin. It was like magnetism. “You think Holden Caulfield is the good guy?”
“Isn’t that why you love that book? I read it ten times after you said it was your favorite, trying to break the code. Figure out Salinger’s genius. And then I got it. Holden. He’s the ultimate hero, disguised as an antihero. The messed-up kid who wants to save the broken souls. Standing on the edge of that cliff, catching them before they plummet.”
I blinked down at him and Sam’s lips twisted. “I’m not like that, Grace. I watch them running for the precipice and think they might as well fall. Nothing much to lose. This world is a cesspit anyway.”
I jerked my hands back. “That’s bullshit, Sam. You don’t mean that.”
He leaned forward, digging his nails into the bench. “Why won’t you let me in? I can feel it, every time we try to connect our magic. You’re blocking me out.”
“Why didn’t you turn up at the library?” I asked.
He flung his head back, smacking the ground with his hand. “Are you kidding me? The library again?”
I reached out and pushed his shoulders, knocking him flat on his ass. “You’re a colossal jerk, Sam Hayes. When you want to know something it’s all deep and meaningful, but if I want an answer then I’m acting like a kid, right? Well, there you go. I’m blocking you out because you’re a conceited, condescending, self-indulgent fuckwit. I have whiplash from the amount of times you’ve changed direction. You don’t know what you want, Sam. Well, I do. Go find Holden Caulfield’s goddamn cliff and throw yourself off it.”
I marched away from the bench, praying that my GPS would show my how to get to the carousel. Sam chased after me, catching me by the waist and spinning me around to face him. He was grinning, his entire face transformed, dimples winking at me from both cheeks.
I stamped on his foot, trying to free myself. “No! No, you don’t get to flash your dimples and expect me to melt into your arms in a hopeless little puddle. Eve is right. I deserve better. You treated me like dirt, Sam. You were my friend for a year and a half. My first friend. And then you went and changed the rules, you wanted to go on a stupid date. Because you had feelings for me. Then you stood me up and ignored me for six months.”
I wriggled out of his arms and punched his chest for good measure. “And now you think you can pluck me from some godforsaken hellhole in the desert, and drag me through space like some superhero. So, I should forget about the half of a year when you ostracized me and just fall at your feet because you’re amazing? No way. If you can’t apologize for how you treated me, then we can’t even be friends.”
Keeping his eyes on my face, Sam walked back to the bench and sat down. He patted the seat to his left, biting his lip. I threw myself down and scooted as far away as I could without falling off the end.
“I like Humans.” Sam’s voice was soft. I twisted toward him a fraction. “I like the way they create their own magic. Stuff that lasts. Books, poetry, paintings, computers. I like the way they thirst for knowledge. Sometimes I think they must know they’re missing the full picture, so they keep digging, unearthing all this incredible stuff.”
I opened my mouth, but he held out his hand, distracting me with the gentle flutter of his fingers. “I know there are good Angels: Jasmine, Elijah, Lucas, Lydia, Megan. They’re decent people. Smart. Honest. But I never met anyone who was willing to swallow the world whole so they could understand every element of life.” He ran his finger over my palm, tracing my short life-line and the scar from where Dawn’s charm had cut into the skin. “Until I met you.”
I pressed my other hand against my lips.
“I lived for that one night every week, Grace. Spending those few hours with you. Pretending we were normal kids. Watching movies, listening to music, talking. It was the first time in my life I got to be something new. Not a freak. You didn’t want to rip my story from me, you didn’t want anything from me at all. You created me, Grace. Every study session, every message you sent me, every book you gave me to read, every song. It was like my eyes were opened to this world of possibilities that I hadn’t dreamed could exist.”
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. Sam moved closer, inch by inch. “We were only supposed to check the place out a couple of times. The flashes Peter felt were weak, coming and going, but I convinced him that we should stay on. Even though I thought there was nothing to find. Another one of his crazy hunches.”
He stopped moving when his knee connected with mine, sending heat shooting up my leg like a flare.
“I shouldn’t have told you how I felt that night, after Harry Potter. It was forbidden, Emmanuel would have strung me up and taken me off active missions until I was twenty-five, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was going crazy thinking about you, Grace.”
I swiveled to face him, hooking my left leg over his knee. “Did Emmanuel find out? Did he make you promise to cut me out? Why didn’t you just tell me that the minute I got to Shadow Hall, instead of being horrible? And weird. And intense.”
Sam ran his palm along my thigh, tracing the seam of my jeans. “Hey, I was always weird and intense. That’s why we became friends. I’m the darkness to your light.” Sam’s grin faded, and he screwed his eyes shut. “Emmanuel didn’t find out, Grace. That’s not what happened. I went to the library for our date. I was early, that’s how much of a loser I am. Early for a date at the public library. I saw you arrive and I stood outside, watching you through the window. I didn’t know how many chances we’d get to be alone. I wanted to remember every minute.”
I raised my eyebrows, and he shook his head and grinned. “I told you I was a loser, not a hero.” His smile faltered, and he flicked his eyes toward my face. My breathing was shallow. “You weren’t alone in the library, Grace. Somebody else was watching you. A Demon. I knew instantly— Dawn’s seizures, Lizzie following you. The flashes were from you, your family. Peter was right.”
My mouth hung open, and I tried to pull away but Sam curled his hand gently under my thigh, and I froze, unwilling to move away from the warmth of his touch. “You’re wrong, Sam. I never saw Lizzie until that day at her house. I didn’t know her,” I said.
He cupped my face with his hand. “But she knew you, Grace, and Eve. And me. That’s why she was calling me your shadow. I saw her again, after that, when I followed you on your running trail. When I watched you practice your ballet in the garden. All those months. I shadowed you, and she shadowed me. Cat and mouse—”
“And flea. A moronic little flea.” I scrubbed at my face with my sleeve. “What did she want?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “What does anyone want with us? I should have told Emmanuel about it straight away. I told him last night when you were unconscious. I just kept hoping that you would leave Westport. Go somewhere safer. Cain was besotted with Catherine and Dawn. He kept trying to convince Emmanuel to bring you guys in before you disappeared. Even if you weren't Shadow Hunted, he didn’t care. Cain just wanted Cat. But Emmanuel needed proof, he wouldn’t take a risk that you were Human. I thought if I pushed you away hard enough—”
“Why didn’t you want me to come to Shadow Hall?” My voice was brittle. “If you cared about me? Cain wanted Cat to be with him. Why didn’t you want me? Was it Megan?”
“No! It was never Megan. That was just a stupid fling. I was desperate to take my mind off you, she was a friend. It was a bad idea. It didn’t help at all. Megan isn’t as bad as you guys think, but she’s all Angel. Being around her just made me want you more.”
Sam let go of my thigh and grabbed my face between his two hands. “I wanted you, Grace. You have no idea how much. I could understand how Cain felt, but I wanted more for you. More than this shadow life. Your binding was so pure, I thought if I could just keep you safe until you got away from us then you could have a real life. Even wh
en you got to Shadow Hall, your magic was hidden so deep. With the right concealment charm, you could have left with Eve and lived a normal life. I wanted to push you so hard that you’d run. But I could never keep away from you for long. All roads lead back to you, Grace.”
He stared at the children playing on the jungle gym. “You could still do it. Your powers are hidden deep. You could live in the real world. Have a chance to find your catcher in the rye?”
I had never seen his eyes so green, overflowing with pain, and hope, and sacrifice. I let the tears spill down my cheeks, tasting the salt on my lips, on his lips. I drew him into me, letting him lift me onto his lap, into his heart. His hands ran over my hair and slid down my back, caressing the bare skin at the base of my spine. My breath came in gasps, surrendering to the energy that beat against every inch of my skin.
My head fell back as it forced it’s way inside me, filling all the empty spaces in my soul. Sam held me, whispering in my ear until the fire subsided and the shaking stopped. He cradled me in his arms and tasted my lips again.
“Did you feel that, Sam?”
He ran his hand from my face down to the curve of my waist. “Did I make the earth move? I have been told I’m a sensational kisser, plus, I’m pretty hot.”
His mouth curled up one side. I narrowed my eyes at him and a wind cut across the park, whipping at his face. I sat up, looking around with wide eyes. Sam pulled me back onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my body. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t me that made the earth move. But you did let me in, Gracie. You opened the door.”
I turned my head to look up at him. “My magic?”
He smiled and nodded his head, kissing my neck. “Your magic,” he said, kissing my collarbone, “my magic.” He lifted his head and looked into my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Don’t shut me out, Grace.”
The Demon-Born Trilogy: (Complete Paranormal Fantasy Series) Page 20
