by Amy Field
“And how is that?” she asked, her voice suddenly breathy from the activities taking place in her body.
Turning to her, he took both her hands into his and again she felt the jolt of electricity like what she had felt the last time he held her hands. Surprised she stared into his eyes that had become much darker than she had ever seen them almost reflecting the colour of the murky pond water. He stared intently into her eyes and she opened her mouth to take in a gulp of air to calm her nerves.
“When my wife died I was devastated and I never thought I would ever have the slightest bit of feelings for anyone like I had for her. Over the past year though I realized that my thinking had shifted and try as I might to deny it, I can’t. I have grown quite fond of you Martha,” he confessed still staring at her.
Her breath caught in her throat at his revelation, not sure how to respond as in no time had Matthew ever express his feelings to her. Throughout their courtship he had simply collected her at her home and took her for a spin in his buggy around the community. The only words he ever spoke to her about was what he expected from a wife. In those times she had simply nodded her head or provided monosyllabic responses as anything more than that would earn her a disapproving glare from him or a lecture about women keeping silent.
“I-I don’t know wh-what to say,” she stuttered trying to find the appropriate words.
Placing her hand around her neck, she continued to stare at him afraid that she would say something to put him off.
“You don’t have to say anything right now,” he offered. “I just need you to think about my proposition. Martha I would like to court you with the hope of getting your hand in marriage.”
Raising himself to his feet, he held his hand for her to take it.
“I reckon, they should have started sharing the afternoon’s meal. Shall we go back?”
“Certainly,” she replied reaching for his hand and allowing him to lift her up. She was truly grateful for his thoughtfulness. He had not pushed her to give him an answer immediately and his decision to change the subject made her respect him more.
When they made it back to where the others were gathered for the afternoon meal, the first thing she noticed was Anne’s eyes trained on him, and then on her when she and Mark parted to sit with their respective gender. She tried her best not to look in the pernicious woman’s way and took a seat as further away from her as possible.
Martha kept her chatter to a minimum choosing to focus on enjoying the plate of stew and biscuits that were before her. She also did not want to draw any unwanted attention from Anne who she could tell was eager to find out what was happening between the deacon and herself. For someone who was married to a deacon herself, Anne sure did not live up to the title. Instead of being a docile female with great Godly attributes, in Martha’s opinion she was a busybody who only went around stirring up trouble whenever she could. Most of the females had now come to realize the type of person she was, and Martha was one of them.
“I saw you coming back with the deacon after service,” Leah said as Martha pulled away from their neighbour’s farm.
“I think he would make an excellent stepfather,” she continued mischievously throwing a sideway glance at her mother.
Martha internally rolled her eyes at her daughter’s not so subtle attempt to tell her that she approved of her and Mark; not that anything was even there – yet.
“Oh you do, do you…” Martha replied playing along, “And whose stepfather should he be?” she asked turning to give her daughter a pointed stare.
“Someone who has children of course,” she replied while smiling, “And she should be just about his age, with blond hair, blue eyes and a smatter of freckles across her nose like you do,” she finished.
“And where is he going to find someone that is 'just like me'?”
“Well…” Leah began with a mischievous glint. “Seeing as there is no one that would have all the attributes that you have, why should he settle for a replica when he can get the original?”
Martha laughed at her daughter’s reasoning knowing exactly what she had planned to say.
“We will let him choose if he wants someone that is close to the original, or is the original, okay?” she asked after her laughter died down.
“Fair enough,” Leah replied contemplatively.
“What about you my darling?” Martha asked turning the tables on her daughter. “Have you still not found anyone that might have peaked your fancy?”
At this Leah averted her eyes to look ahead as she intertwined her fingers that rested in her lap.
“Leah, honey what’s wrong?” Martha asked concerned at her daughter’s reaction to her question.
“It’s nothing really,” Leah said turning to face her mother once more with a huge smile on her face to hide her prior reaction. “I haven’t found anyone in the community mother but maybe give it a year or two. I don’t know maybe my mind will change,” she reasoned.
Martha was not satisfied with the response she gave as she had witnessed the shadow of fear that had transformed her daughter’s face just moments ago. Something was definitely the matter but she knew Leah wasn’t going to tell her so she would probably have to get to the bottom of it herself.
“Maybe if you had stayed back at after service singing you could have gotten your chance,” Martha spoke pointedly.
“I doubt it,” she said and once more Martha noticed the shadow that slipped into her eyes before it disappeared.
Martha was becoming restless. Why hadn’t Mark made a move yet? It has been nearly a week since he had confessed his feelings for her, yet he had not come to visit. Maybe he had changed his mind, or he was very busy and just couldn’t find the time to visit, she reasoned with herself. Both conclusions only left her feeling more antsy and every vehicle that passed the house had her looking out in hopes that it would be Mark. Everytime it proved to be someone just passing by her home, leaving her with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Hello Martha, enjoying the weather?” asked Claire, one of her good friends who lived two farms away from her.
“Hello Claire, you can say that,” she replied getting up off the porch to greet her.
“It has been a while,” she confessed as both women embraced. “Would you like to come in for a piece of pie and some coffee?” she offered grateful for the company and not wanting the visit to end anytime soon.
“Yes thank you. Is it your world famous chocolate pie?” the woman asked, already eager to partake in the gifts Martha had to offer.
Martha had always been a good cook. For that she was constantly commended, with her visitors eager to consume her sumptuous dishes. Matthew’s presence had always deterred persons from stopping by as he didn’t encourage it – “I don’t like people in my home Martha,” he had warned one day when he had come home to witness her having tea with Claire and her neighbour Hannah who had just married Jonas.
“They just came to pay a friendly visit and I had been meaning to invite Hannah over to congratulate her. What should I tell them?” she asked earning a deep scowl from him.
“Just don’t do it again,” he grumbled before leaving out the back door to tend to the animals.
It was funny how things changed. Now Martha could entertain as much as she wanted and whomever she pleased.
“So what brings you by?” Martha asked her friend even as she placed a thick slice of chocolate cake on a plate for her.
Putting the cup of coffee she had raised to her lips, Claire turned her attention to Martha.
“Well I genuinely wanted to see you. I realized we haven’t seen much of each other for the past month,” Claire responded before pausing for a while. “I also saw you and Deacon Mark after last Sunday’s Service,” she resumed speaking, her voice taking on a note of curiosity this time.
“And?” asked Martha already knowing where the conversation was headed.
“Oh, I was merely curious if you’ve taken my advice and ar
e ready to think about marriage again. I told you before Martha, you’re not too old to find love a second time and I mean it,” her friend said before raising the fork with the piece of cake she had speared to her lips.
“Well, he did tell me that he was interested in courting me,” Martha confessed.
“Really?” Claire asked pleased. “What did you say? I hope you told him yes.”
Martha laughed at her friend’s excitement over her budding relationship with Mark but sought to put some things into perspective.
“I didn’t give him an answer.”
At this Claire’s face fell with her disappointment and Martha rushed on to clarify.
“He told me to think about it before I answered and that he wasn’t in any rush.”
“But what is there to think about?” she asked uncomprehending the need for a delay. “You like him don’t you?” she asked her in a tone you would use with a daft child.
“Of course I like him but I also like the fact that he wants to give me time to think about it. He is such a considerate man, not at all like Matthew,” she reasoned.
“That you are tight about. He is nothing like Matthew,” Claire agreed. “But don’t wait too long to give him your answer, you know there are other women in the community, even young ones who have been pining after him ever since his wife died. You have the advantage now; push through before someone else pulls a wool over his eyes,” Claire encouraged her.
After Claire’s visit Martha sat thinking about what she had said. Perhaps she should take matters into her own hands. If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed than Mohammed would have to go to the mountain. She was definitely going to take things into her own hands.
After supper she informed Leah that she was going out before hitching up the buggy and heading across town to Mark’s farm.
“Martha! What are you….” Mark started surprised when he opened his door to see her on his porch.
“Hi Mark,” she interrupted. “Can we talk?” she rushed out before her resolve broke.
“Of course,” he agreed moving aside to grant her access.
“Oh no, I thought we could perhaps take a stroll?” she asked hopefully.
At this he smiled before nodding his head.
“I brought you an apple pie that I made from the apples you brought on your last visit,” she said, lifting the paper bag that held the pastry.
“Thank you Martha,” he answered, smiling and genuinely pleased.
“Why don’t you come in while I put this away?” he asked her and she complied and followed him towards the kitchen that was attached to the main house and not separate like hers. When they entered his two sons looked up just as surprised as their father had been.
“Boys, you remember Miss Martha don’t you?”
“Yes, hello Miss Martha,” they both answered in unison.
“This is Samuel,” he said pointing to the older looking boy of the two who had the same curly blond hair and green eyes of his father. He appeared to be around seven. “And this little trouble here is Jonathan,” he finished pointing to the younger of the two who though he had curly hair it was brown in colour and his eyes were more hazel than green.
“It is a pleasure to meet you both,” Martha beamed at them earning smiles that were equally as pleased as hers.
“Boys I am going to be out in the back garden talking to Miss Martha if you need me. When I get back we can share this wonderful pie she made for us, okay?”
At the mention of pie both boys nodded with pleasure and Martha’s heart lifted in jubilation to be able to bring such happiness to the precious little boys. She was already imagining mornings rising to prepare their meals and watching them bounding cheerily into the kitchen eager to taste her cooking and to receive a compliment from her. Mark would then walk in and place a kiss on her ready lips before taking his position at the table to compliment her cooking like he would do every day.
“So what is on your mind Martha?” he asked as they strolled side by side through the meadow that surrounded his property. She ran her hand over the tall grasses marvelling at their inflexibility even as she internalized her approach to the situation.
“I thought about what you said last Sunday,” she started after a moment of them just walking listlessly around. The setting sun cast the last of its rays on the vegetation, painting the landscape in a deep orange hue flecked with purple and red. The array of colours reminded her of the many colours of the rainbow. Wildflowers of different assorted colours combined with splendid hue created by the sun to radiate a palette of new colours.
“And I gather you have an answer for me?” he asked, his voice sounding anxious.
“Yes I do,” she replied as they stopped under an oak tree at the edge just where the forest began. She turned her attention fully on him.
“My answer is yes, Mark, I would very much like you to court me because I too have grown very fond of you and I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about you. I feel like a school girl again and maybe I am too old to be feeling this way but I just can’t help it,” she confessed, feeling herself starting to blush.
“Hey, don’t say that,” he comforted finally placing a hand over her cheek. “I find it cute that I make you feel that way,” he continued in a pleased tone. “And you aren’t old, you’re just perfect,” he finished staring intently into her eyes, the truth in his words reflected there.
Suddenly he bent his head and captured her lips in a kiss. It caught her off guard but it was also very pleasant and sent a jolt of current through her body causing her a slight buzz as his warm lips molded over hers seared her with heat. She was again caught by surprise when she felt his hand elsewhere but then he quickly pulled away from her his face showing his embarrassment.
“I am so sorry Martha. I don’t know what came over me,” she apologized. “Forgive me?” he earnestly pleaded.
“Of course,” she answered in a light tone to let him know all was forgiven.
The only thing was she had felt a sense of disappointment when he chose to stop and with the absence of his hands and his lips she felt empty. It had been quite a long time since he had experienced anything close to affection, and that hadn’t been with Matthew.
It had been from her adventures with Stephen.
Her husband had only been content with getting his own pleasure. No touching or kissing had been necessary for him. With Mark she could tell that it would be different however – maybe even as good as what she had shared with Stephen. It made her excited about a union between them even more.
“However I am not at all an innocent woman, Mark so you needn’t feel too beat up over what happened. I imagine when we are married you won’t be apologizing ever so often for the things that you will do to me,” she finished trying to lighten the mood. Her comment elicited a smile from him and she was truly happy that he seemed to have a sense of humour as well.
“I like the sound of that, when we are married; because trust me I can’t wait to do more things with you that I won’t have to apologize for,” he joined in her jesting. This caused heat to rush up her neck and flush her cheeks even as her body responded to the double entendre of his words.
“Let us get back, it seems to be getting dark,” he said holding out his hand for her to take. As soon as her fingers folded over his rigid arm shocks of pleasure travelled through the tips and up her arm. The smile she still sported seemed to have become a permanent fixture and she could not remove it even if she tries.
“I will be coming by tomorrow after work so that we can have a stroll,” Mark offered as he held the reins of the horse after helping her get situated in the buggy.
“That would be lovely Mark,” she beamed down at him. “Please bring the boys, I can prepare a meal for us all and it will be no trouble as Leah will watch them while we go out.”
“Ok,” he agreed smiling up at her before handing her the horse straps and slapping her horse’s side prompting it to move off.
That ni
ght Martha lay in her bed unable to sleep as she anticipated the arrival of day. She felt silly at her reaction but like she told Mark she really could not control it. She felt like the teenager she had been many years ago who fell in love with the gangly teenager who shunned authority but knew how to make her body come alive with excitement. The feelings she felt for Mark were similar but unlike Stephen, Mark was mature and responsible things she always wanted in a man. For that reason she was appreciative of Matthew as he was reliable in that sense.
But Mark was a mixture of the two combined. November couldn’t come quick enough as she was sure they would be taking that leap together then. She was eagerly looking forward to the explosive time they would have together if the sexual tension they felt around each other was anything to go by.
Things were looking up – she was getting a second chance at happiness.
Martha and Mark had been courting for the past three months and things could not be any better. From their stolen kisses and surprise picnics and family dinners where his boys and Leah were included, everything was truly looking up.
“Martha, walk with me?” Mark asked after she had just shared desert for his boys and her daughter.
“Sure,” she replied adjusting her prayer kapp over her hair and smoothing out the apron she wore over her blue tunic as she waited for him to rise from his seat. “Leah, can you take care of this?” Martha asked gesturing to the dishes packed in the basin by the door that needed to be washed.
“Yes mother I will,” she promised before Martha and Mark slipped through the back door.
The two walked until they came to the forested area at the edge of her property. There was a partially dense area where the trees formed a thicket blocking them from prying eyes.
“Why are you so serious Mark?” Martha asked him after they had come to a halt under a walnut tree. For the entire time they had been walking he had not said a word and his face was made up as if he was in deep concentration.
“I’m sorry if I scared you Martha,” he apologized. “I just really wanted this moment to be perfect and I fear that I might trip over my words,” he confessed.
