CHAPTER XI.
"IT IS SO HARD TO SAY GOOD-BYE."
When Nellie and Winnie re-entered the parlour they found the tablespread, Aunt Debby seated as usual before the urn, and Miss Latimerstanding by the window gazing up at the murky sky, where the leadenclouds predicted a gathering snowstorm. Winnie ran up to her. "AuntJudith," she said humbly, "I am very much ashamed of myself; pleaseforgive me."
Miss Latimer patted the upraised face, and the pained look died out ofher eyes. "Never mind, child," she replied pleasantly; "it is allright. I understand" (as the girl still looked anxious); "I know youhad no thought of grieving us."
So the subject was dropped, and once more they gathered round thesimple board whereon every dainty was displayed with such charmingtaste. There, tongues loosened and the merry chatting recommenced,while Winnie's spirits rose wonderfully. Putting from her with astrong determined will every sad thought and the burden of grief so newfor her to bear, she laughed and talked, the gayest of thegay--speaking in her own quaint style, and laughing her own clearripple of silvery laughter.
After tea Miss Latimer called her into the cosy study, and bidding herseat herself snugly, she said: "Aunt Debby requires Nellie's assistancefor a short time at present, so you will have to endure an old maid'scompany meanwhile; but before we settle ourselves to enjoy a nice, cosychat, I wish you to accept a Christmas gift from me. It is my latestwork, and I only received the first copies yesterday. I have writtenyour name on the title-page, and I think, dear, you will value thelittle volume for my sake." As she spoke Aunt Judith handed a smallbook, beautifully bound in blue and gold, to her young visitor, whoreceived it at first in speechless silence. She looked at the prettyvolume--the elegant binding and clear, bold type; then with a great cryflung herself down by Miss Latimer's side and sobbed out, "Oh, I loveyou so, you are so kind to me; and it is so hard to say good-bye."
Aunt Judith seemed amazed. "I do not understand you, child," she saidsimply. "What do you mean? Try to calm yourself and explain, dear."
Then between sobs the story of a child's grief was laid before MissLatimer, and told with such a depth of pathos that the listener's softwomanly heart ached in response to the plaintive tale.
"And your mother does not know you are here to-day, Winnie?" sheinquired when the sad little voice had ceased. "You had no permissionfrom her to come?"
The girl shook her head. "I suppose I am very disobedient," was thesimple answer; "but, Aunt Judith, the temptation was too hard toresist. I felt I must see you all again, even though it was only tosay good-bye."
Miss Latimer sighed. "You must not come any more, dear, never afterto-night--at least not until your mother gives her full, free consent.You think all this very hard, little Winnie, but you do not know howdeeply I feel about it also. You had stolen into my heart, child, andI was beginning to find your love very sweet and precious--not that Ishall love you less or cease to care for you, but all this pleasantsocial intercourse must end now. Nay, do not grieve so, darling. Itis all very dark and perplexing to you at present perhaps; but restassured God has some beautiful lessons for us to learn--lessons thatwill give us a glimpse of, and may yet prove as stepping-stones to,that higher life which is the only life worth living."
Winnie sighed despairingly. "Aunt Judith," she said, raising a pair ofwet eyes full of a child's agony to the listener's face, "I shall neverbe good now. You do not know the pleasure it has been to me to comehere, or the strange thoughts that fill my heart when I see how happyyou all are in this dear little home. Somehow God seems very nearhere, Aunt Judith, and the Christ-life you talk about so beautiful, Igo away determined to try to lead it too--to be good, brave, and true.But that is all over now; for oh! no one in my home speaks of God andheaven, or talks softly of Jesus and his love, and I can't be good ifnone will stretch out a helping hand and show me the way."
Miss Latimer drew the little quivering figure closer in her embrace asshe answered, "Don't say that, child, don't say that. A human friendoften leads astray--God never. We must not rest our entire confidenceon human guides, or lean altogether on earthly props, but, holding outour hands to the great Father above, with all the simplicity of littlechildren, leave ourselves unreservedly in his keeping. Sometimes theway is dark--so dark, dear" (and the gentle voice faltered for amoment), "sometimes the path proves rugged and steep; but, littleWinnie,--
'The easy path in the lowlands hath little of grand or new, But a toilsome ascent leads on to a wide and glorious view; Peopled and warm is the valley, lonely and chill the height, But the peak that is nearer the storm cloud is nearer the stars of light.'
And so, dear, in the time of shadow rest in the hollow of God's hand,and Christ himself will help you to lead his own perfect life."
The conversation at this point being interrupted by the arrival ofDick, Miss Latimer found no opportunity of renewing it that evening;but while Winnie, who had once more dashed the tears from her eyes witha child's abandonment of grief, was busily engaged with Miss Deborahand Nellie, she drew the boy aside, and with his aid was able to gathertogether the scattered threads of his sister's disconnected story.
Dick could not very well understand how, but there was something aboutAunt Judith which seemed to inspire confidence; and although MissLatimer with delicate tact retrained from asking more than wasabsolutely necessary, the boy found himself laying bare his heart quiteunintentionally, and ended by confessing his determination to run awayto sea. "I must go," he finished doggedly; "I can't stand this kind oflife any longer, and--I won't."
Miss Latimer looked very grave.
"I have no right to interfere, Dick," she said quietly, "and perhaps Ishould scarcely have listened to your story; but from what has beentold me and my own eyes have seen, I thought Winnie's brother one whowould scorn to do a cowardly, dishonourable action."
The boy looked amazed at the strong, emphatic language; while AuntJudith, nothing daunted, continued,--
"Yes, it is perfectly true, Dick. You see I do not fear to speak as Ithink, and such a course as you purpose pursuing seems to me both meanand sinful. Running away--stealing out of your father's house like athief in the night; try to picture it fully, clearly to yourself, andthen let me hear your verdict once again. You talk of always havinglonged for a sailor's life; you speak about the great attraction of thesea. Well, that in itself is good; but why go forth to it in the wayyou are contemplating? Have you ever spoken to your father on thesubject?"
"Never," replied Dick; "but my step-mother and sisters knew all aboutit."
"And what was their verdict?"
"Laughter, and the information that I was too great a stupid to be asailor." The boy's tones were very bitter.
Miss Latimer scanned the honest, open face, and replied,--
"Well, Dick, we hardly know each other yet, and it may be you willdenounce me as an interfering old maid; but if I may proffer my advice,I would say, Lay your heart bare before your father, tell him simplywhat your desire is; and if after that he says 'Go,' then God'sblessing follow you, my dear boy."
She rose as she spoke, and crossing the room joined the group chattingso pleasantly together, while Dick remained quietly in his seat. Butthere sprang up in the boy's heart that night a pure, holy feeling ofrespect, almost amounting to veneration, for all women who, like MissLatimer, kept their garments white and unsullied in this evil world,and stood up so bravely in the cause of truth and right. He neverforgot the soft, tender voice or the warm pressure of the hand as shereasoned with him; but thinking it all over in the still night-hush, hedetermined to win her approbation, and carve out for himself a noblelife.
The evening passed by very rapidly for both Winnie and Dick, and atlength it was time to say good-bye.
Nellie and Miss Deborah, being still in ignorance as to the courseevents had taken, wondered at the child's low sob when Miss Latimerkissed her, and marvelled even more at her strange conduct in runningdown the garden path immediately after, with
out pausing to bid one andall her usual merry good-night. But the explanation was soon made; andthen Aunt Debby's indignation blazed forth, while Nellie listened insimple amazement to the strange tale.
"The very idea, Judith!" gasped the good lady, shaking her head withsuch vehemence that all the little curls in front danced and coquettedwith one another; "just as if we would contaminate the child, or wereso very much her inferiors. Dear heart! I declare the news has givenme quite a turn--it is so absurd."
"I think we had better drop the subject altogether, Debby," repliedMiss Latimer. "Nellie, I know, will respect her aunts' wishes, and actas we think best.--Will you not, my child?"
"Of course, auntie," murmured Nellie faintly; "but I don't quiteunderstand. Why could Winnie come here with full permission one dayand be forbidden the next? I know," she continued bitterly--"at leastit is not Ada Irvine's fault if I do not--that I am very much Winnie'sinferior in many ways; but still Mrs. Blake knew all that before."Here Nellie burst into tears, for she was only human, and wounded prideand vanity mingled with genuine grief at the loss of her friend.
"Comfort her yourself, Judith," muttered Aunt Debby, meditating a rapidexit to the kitchen. "If I begin, I shall be sure to be sayingsomething spiteful and wicked, for my temper is at boiling-point justnow," and with that the good lady disappeared to the humbler regions,there to vent her indignation in violent washing up of unoffending cupsand saucers.
Meanwhile Nellie had her evening talk, but for once it failed to sootheher wounded feelings; and when she lay down on her soft warm bed, shecarried with her bitter, angry thoughts which chased the slumber fromher eyes and the rest from her heart. She could not understand whyMrs. Blake should put an end so suddenly to her intimacy with Winnie;and Aunt Judith either could not or would not throw one single ray oflight on the subject. The whole story would leak out at school, andwhat a time would follow! Nellie writhed inwardly at the awfulprospect, and wept bitterly, till at length, thoroughly worn out, shefell fast asleep, and the silent passing hours ushered in the dawn ofanother new day.
Aunt Judith: The Story of a Loving Life Page 11
