by Dean Murray
Chapter 19
Alec Graves
Graves Estate
Sanctuary, Utah
I called James as soon as I was out of earshot of Kaleb's office.
"I'm not going to be able to meet up with the three of you in the garden like I'd originally planned."
"Okay, is there anything that you need us to be doing right now?"
I debated my answer and then told him a partial truth.
"Brandon and Vincent are going to be in town later tonight. Obviously if things get tense for whatever reason we can't face Brandon down, but it might be a good idea for you guys to get some rest in between now and then so that you're fresh for whatever the night might bring."
"Okay, will do."
I put my phone back in my pocket and started towards my mother's rooms. It was past time to find out just exactly how much she knew.
I opened the door to her solarium and walked inside without knocking.
"Hello, Alec. I wondered when you would be by."
"You've been lying to me."
She held a hand up in my direction and looked over at Rachel. "Rachel, can you please give us a few minutes?"
Rachel looked back and forth between the two of us and then shook her head. "I want to stay. I'm tired of being left in the dark. Something is going on and I need to know what it is."
Mother looked at me. "Please, Alec. She doesn't need to be in on this conversation. Please, not like this."
A part of me wanted to refuse her, to tell Rachel right here and now exactly what our mother had been involved in, but there was a chance that she was right. Rachel didn't need to find out what Kaleb was planning by way of a shouting match.
Feeling as though I'd just rationalized my way into selling off another piece of my soul, I gave Rachel my best smile.
"If you'll go wait in your room I promise that I'll come find you as soon as I'm done with Mother and I'll tell you everything I know and everything I find out from Mother."
Rachel looked up at me and the eyes that met mine were far too old for her fifteen-year-old face.
"You promise?"
Mother gasped and I didn't need to look in her direction to know that she was desperately shaking her head at me, but I nodded.
"Yes, Rachel, I promise. There have been too many secrets around here for far too long."
Rachel took a deep breath and then stood and left the solarium. I watched her go until the door swung shut behind her and then turned back towards my mother.
"Thank you, Alec. To find out in that way would have destroyed her."
"I don't think that she's as weak as you think she is, but that's a different conversation entirely. I repeat my earlier statement. You've been lying to me."
She shook her head. "It's true that I've kept things from you, but I've never lied to you."
"A lie by omission is still a lie, Mother. You knew what Brandon and Vincent were up to down on the border and you never bothered to tell me. I could have easily been killed because of that hole in my education."
"I didn't know for sure, Alec. Jack, Donovan, none of us had been able to confirm the rumors and we were pretty sure that they were originating from Jaclyn Annikov. She's hardly the most dependable source given all of the axes she has to grind with the Coun'hij and your father."
"You should have at least told me of your suspicions. Unlike you and Donovan, I have to go out on the field and risk being killed by Brandon and Vincent in addition to the cats or vampires."
I'd only ever seen Mother look immaculate and calm. Her appearance and manner always seemed to say that she was in control of her situation, that anything that happened was at least partially by her design, but now I realized just how far her usual composure had cracked. She'd obviously been crying a lot over the last twenty-four hours and now she was the angriest I'd ever seen her.
"No, Alec, telling you our suspicions would have just resulted in you doing something brave and foolish in an effort to confirm those rumors. If I'd told you about what I thought was going on down in Arizona you would have probably gotten yourself killed months ago. You have incredible potential, but I've known for years that it would be all that I could do to keep you alive long enough for you to realize it."
"And you were willing to do whatever you had to do in order to make sure that happened."
"Yes, Alec, my morality is flexible where you are concerned. I will lie, cheat and steal to keep you safe and give you the chance to realize the destiny that is just beyond your grasp right now."
"What about murder, Mother? Will you commit murder on my behalf?"
She reached up to slap me, but I easily grabbed her arm, stopping her from hitting me.
"How dare you! I've never done any such thing. You have no idea of the hell that I've gone through for you."
"Haven't you, Mother? If you know of murder being carried out and you do nothing to stop it, doesn't that make you complicit in those deaths?"
She was shaking now. "I didn't know for sure what was happening down there. You can't hold me responsible for every rumor that flows through this place. I don't even begin to have the power around here to verify every crazy thing that crosses the lips of some of the gossipmongers in the pack."
"Not all rumors are created equal and you know it, Mother, but that's not even the only reason that I'm angry at you. How long have you known that Kaleb was going to give Rachel to Vincent to be his slave?"
"I was afraid he would tell you."
Her voice was so faint that I wasn't sure that I'd have been able to hear it if I'd had merely human ears.
"Yes, he told me. Does that disappoint you? Did you hope that I'd be taken by surprise so that I wouldn't have a chance to do anything about what is about to happen?"
Mother shook her head, the action almost violent in her desire to deny my words. "No, I begged Kaleb to tell you what was going on. I was worried that if it came at you without any warning that you would do something that would get you killed. I can't save Rachel, but I can at least try to make sure that you make it through this alive."
"How long, Mother? How long have you known that he was going to give her to Vincent like a piece of property?"
"Your father told me last night. I tried to convince him otherwise, but nothing I did swayed him in the least."
"Don't call him that. He's done nothing to deserve that title."
She reached out to me, but I shook her arm off.
"I'm sorry, Alec. I don't know what else to do. Kaleb can usually be convinced to moderate the worst of his inclinations, but lately he's been even worse than normal."
I looked at her for several seconds and she wilted under my gaze. I kept thinking that I should be feeling something, but the stillness inside of me hadn't shattered yet. Everything I'd felt for the woman before me had been swept away in one short afternoon. She'd made decisions that had undermined our relationship and the respect that I'd once had for her. From the outside things had still looked stable, but it had taken only a tiny nudge to bring everything crashing down.
Actually I did feel something, something that I wasn't sure I'd ever felt before in my entire life. Remote. I finally had enough distance from her and Kaleb to look at what was going on around me with a degree of perspective.
Her eyes seemed to beg me to speak, to say something that would make things better, but for long minutes I didn't open my mouth. When I finally did, my voice came out smooth and uncaring.
"The only other question I have for you is why you've stayed so long. You've told me for years that Kaleb was irredeemable, but you've stayed despite knowing that associating with him couldn't help but eventually drag you down to his level. Don't tell me that it was because you wanted to moderate his influence, that you stayed because of the good that you could do. All of the good you might have accomplished is washed away by the fact that you're ready to let him take Rachel away when you could have gotten her to safety years ago."
Her lips were trembling and I coul
d see the tears forming in her eyes, but she refused to meet my gaze directly.
"I always thought that I was staying because of the good I was doing. I really have stopped Kaleb from doing some terrible things, but you're right in your accusations that I haven't stopped everything. It wasn't until last night that I realized just how much I've been hoping that I was wrong, that there was some little piece of Kaleb that was redeemable."
I stood to go, but she grabbed my arm again and this time there was such desperate strength to her grip that I didn't shrug her off immediately.
"Where are you going?"
"I've heard what I needed to hear. There's no reason for me to stay here any longer."
"He doesn't want to do this, Alec. I could see it in his eyes when he came to tell me last night. He would do almost anything to stop from having to give Rachel to that monster, but he's too scared to choose any other course. There is still good in him."
I pulled her hand off of my arm, but I tried not to physically hurt her as I did so.
"I don't have the luxury of worrying about whether or not Kaleb means well. He's said a lot of things lately that I don't agree with, but he's right about one thing. I have to deal with reality, not some make-believe version of it. Good intentions are nice, but they'll never outweigh terrible actions."
I turned and walked towards the door, but she called out to me one last time just before my hand touched the doorknob.
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go tell Rachel everything I know just like I promised her I would."
"No, I mean after that. Please don't throw away your life."
"I'm not going to let Vincent have her without a fight, Mother. All of the potential that everyone talks about isn't worth a damn thing if I have to sacrifice Rachel to realize it. I don't believe that is what will be required to save our people, but even if it was I'd still do everything I could to save her. If it's really come to that then maybe our people don't deserve to be saved anymore."
