by Helen Hoang
For the first time, she opened up and gave me both sides of her stories, not just the bright sides. For example, I’d always known she grew up poor, but she’d never gone into detail. Now she told me about the kind of poverty that still gives her goose bumps when she thinks back. I would share these stories, as I think they provide an amazing contrast to the present and illustrate just how far she’s come—they make me prouder of her—but to my mom, these stories are a source of terrible shame, even decades later as a successful businesswoman. She told me about the time an American officer offered to adopt her as a little girl and send her home to the States—surely that had to be better for her than being poor in Vietnam—but when her dad found out, he’d cried and cried. I’d heard the story about how my family members escaped to the United States and were taken in by a host family in Minnesota, but I never knew that their refugee plane originally landed in Camp Pendleton, California. No one ever told me that they had to leave for a refugee camp in Nebraska because a violent civilian crowd threw things at them and yelled for the “chinks” to “go home.” Through fresh tears, my mom told me about the blatant discrimination and sexism she faced in the workplace, about how she cried during her breaks but vowed to work even harder and prove herself. Because good work, she says, always speaks for itself. And so it did. And so it does.
Because of these conversations, I was able to give Esme a depth and soul that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I hope that comes out in the reading. Most important, the conversations gave me my mom, the fuller, more authentic version of her, and now I love her even more, respect her even more. I’m grateful for all those hours spent talking to her and so proud to share the essence of her with readers through Esme.
Sincerely,
Helen
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Khải grew up in America, while Mỹ was born and raised in a small village in Vietnam. What cultural differences can you see and how do you think this affects who they are now?
In the beginning of the book, Khải’s mother is in Vietnam to search for a wife for Khải. Do you think it’s wrong of his mother to meddle and interfere in his personal life, or is this justified as an act of love?
Prior to reading this book, how would you have imagined an autistic man? How does Khải compare to this vision?
Throughout the book, Khải is adamant about not having feelings, thus creating a chasm between him and everyone else. When do you see a breakthrough in this way of thinking? How does Mỹ help with this?
Khải memorizes a set of rules that his sister made him that lists what he should do when he’s with a girl (on this page). Do you agree with this list?
Though Mỹ originally goes to America with the purpose of seducing Khải, a lot of her time is spent going to night school and working at Cô Nga’s restaurant. This reflects the hard work that immigrants go through to build a life in the U.S. Can you or anyone you know relate to this?
Mỹ lies to Khải about her occupation and tells him that she’s an accountant. She does this because she’s embarrassed by her station in life but also to feel some sort of connection to him. Should she have just told him the truth from the beginning or do you think her lie helps bring them together at least a little?
As adamant as Khải is about not loving Mỹ, he does things for her that show how much he does care about her, such as carrying her and helping to find her father. What other ways does he show he loves her?
At the end of the book, Khải tells Mỹ he loves her in Vietnamese. What is the significance of this?
Photo by Eric Kieu
Helen Hoang is that shy person who never talks. Until she does. And then the worst things fly out of her mouth. She read her first romance novel in eighth grade and has been addicted ever since. In 2016, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in line with what was previously known as Asperger’s syndrome. Her journey inspired The Kiss Quotient. She currently lives in San Diego, California, with her husband, two kids, and a pet fish.
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