“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to make us something to eat? I would’ve helped you.”
“I wanted to surprise you. Besides, I figured you probably didn’t know your way around the kitchen.”
He feigned an insulted look. “Well, I know how to do this much. Mom showed us boys how to do a few things to feed ourselves.”
She reached across him and plucked another sandwich from the tray. “Hmm. That surprises me. I would’ve thought you boys were always outside on a horse or playing with bugs or lizards.”
“Boys love to eat, too.” He slanted her a sensual glance. “But you seemed to have figured that out.”
“Did you and your brothers get along when you were young, or did you fuss and fight?” she asked.
“Mostly, we all got along. And still do. Except for a few incidents like today when I jumped Finn. But when I lose my temper it’s because of my work—the ranch. No other reason.”
“That’s because it’s so important to you.”
Amazed, he looked at her. No woman had ever been able to read him before, yet Lilly seemed to instinctively understand what he was all about. The notion jolted him. That was the sort of thing a man looked for in a wife. He wanted his woman to know who he was deep inside and what was most important to him. But Rafe didn’t want a wife. He didn’t need that complication or worry.
He swallowed a bite of the sandwich before he answered. “When Gramps made me foreman, he threw a heavy load onto my shoulders. I was only twenty-five. It’s not easy stepping in and bossing men twice your age who have worked as a ranch hand all their lives.”
“Mmm. I’m sure there was some resentment.”
“Resentment, hell. Some of them were downright angry with me. I got the job because I was the owner’s grandson—that’s what they all believed. Never mind the fact that I’d been working alongside them ever since I was big enough to ride a horse or hold a rope in my hand.”
Glancing at him over the rim of her cup, she asked frankly, “Did you get the job because Bart is your grandfather?”
He was learning more and more that she didn’t mince words. Nor did she try to feed his ego like most of the women he’d known in the past. And there were times like right now that her bluntness took him aback and forced him to view things in a different perspective.
“Geez, Lilly, what kind of question is that?”
“An honest one. I’m sorry if it offended you.”
He swallowed the last of his sandwich before he replied, “I’m not offended. Actually, it’s partly the truth. I probably never would’ve gotten a chance at the position at that age if I’d not been a Calhoun. I’ll admit, I was privileged in that way. But that didn’t make me less qualified for the job.”
Her gaze continued to study his face and his heart swelled as he watched admiration fill her brown eyes.
“I’ve gotten to know Bart pretty well. He wouldn’t hire any man unless he was sure the man could do the job. Apparently, your grandfather had plenty of confidence in you.”
His gaze dropped to the brown liquid in his cup. “I often wondered what prompted Gramps to make me foreman of the Silver Horn. And sometimes I ask myself if he gave me the job as a test. One that he thought I would fail. Or maybe he was trying to punish me for not being the sort of man he wanted.”
Frowning, she leaned across him once again to place her cup on the nightstand, and his senses were immediately snared by her feminine scent and the warmth of her smooth skin.
“And what does Bart expect of you?” she asked as she settled back against the headboard.
He shrugged and then before he could stop it, he could feel a blush spread up his neck and onto his face. “More serious. More settled. He and my dad don’t like the fact that I—uh—enjoy women as much as I do. Or did,” he added quickly, then realizing how that sounded, he groaned. “That sounded bad, didn’t it?”
To his surprise, she laughed softly. “Rafe, it’s not like you’re admitting to something I didn’t already know. You’ve had girlfriends. I’m not expecting you to consider me your one and only.”
If any other woman had said that to him, he would have been happy, but coming from Lilly, it was like a knife blade between his ribs. He wanted her to think of him as her one and only. He couldn’t bear to think of any other man being with her the way he was with her now. What in hell was going on with him? he wondered. Whatever it was, he didn’t like the uncomfortable way it was making him feel. But he couldn’t seem to stop it.
Placing his cup next to hers on the nightstand, he shifted around on the bed so that he was facing her. “You mean—you wouldn’t mind if I—dated some other woman?” he asked guardedly.
Her expression suddenly sober, she glanced away from him and shrugged. “Like we said, Rafe, no strings. Nothing serious.”
That was exactly what they’d agreed on, he thought. But damn it, he didn’t want any other woman. And he sure as hell didn’t want her with another man. But he couldn’t start preaching that to her now. He’d already told her that he wasn’t the jealous sort. That would make him sound like he was becoming possessive and God help him—in love.
“Yeah. Nothing serious,” he said in a low, gruff voice. “Only pleasure.”
Her gaze cut back to his face and then as a smile slowly spread across her own face, she reached for him. “That’s what I want to give you, Rafe.”
Wrapping his arms around her, he lowered his mouth to hers and as the heated contact between their lips warmed his body, he felt it tightening with need.
Moments later, when he finally pulled his mouth away to catch his breath, he murmured, “I really should be getting out of this bed and be going home.”
Nibbling on the lobe of his ear, she whispered. “Is anyone waiting for you there?”
Desire was already shooting through him, shoving common sense to a dark, shadowy corner of the bedroom and sending his libido into overload. “No.”
Her lips were suddenly hovering over his. “Then why don’t you stay with me tonight?”
He’d never stayed with any woman all night. That was the same as saying I like you very much—I want to be with you for more than a few minutes or even an hour or two—I might want something that lasts longer. Maybe even to be with you like a man is with his wife.
Groaning with surrender, he tried to blank that last thought from his mind. “You’re making it very hard for me to say no.”
Her soft laugh fanned his cheeks. “That’s my intention.”
Closing his eyes, he rolled onto his back and pulled her over on top of him. And as she slid onto him, he was certain he’d never be the same man again. Minute by minute she was taking pieces of him that he would never get back.
Chapter Eight
Three days later, Lilly was sitting across a desk from Chet Anderson, the director of nursing for Tahoe General. In his late thirties, he was an attractive man with dark brown hair and eyes to match. She’d heard rumors that his wife divorced him several years ago, but she’d never discussed anything that private with the man. And though he routinely asked her for a date, she’d only accepted one time and that had been for an innocent lunch at the hospital cafeteria.
This morning, however, he’d not summoned her to his office to ask her to dinner. Even though he was smiling at her like the thought was on his mind.
“Look, Lilly, I really didn’t call you up here to give you a lecture.” Picking up a white coffee mug, he leaned back in his desk. “I know what you’re dealing with. Doctor Sherman is a pain in the butt. And if it was left up to me, he’d be gone from this hospital before the day ended. Unfortunately, I don’t have the authority to hire and fire doctors.”
Crossing her legs, she carefully smoothed the hem of her skirt over her knee. “I’m sorry, Chet. I shouldn’t have said anything to Doctor She
rman. But sending a patient to surgery on a hunch that something is broken is shabby doctoring, if you ask me.”
“He says he was trying to cut costs.”
“At that point the patient wasn’t concerned about cost. He was more worried about being cut unnecessarily!”
“I have no doubt about that.”
“Sherman thinks of himself as a diagnostic genius. And perhaps he is, but we’re supposed to follow the proper procedures with our patients here at Tahoe.” Pausing, she shook her head with regret. “Even so, I should have handled the situation with a little more tact. Now you’ve had to listen to Sherman ranting and raving about a disobedient nurse. And I deeply apologize for that.”
“You are one of the best RNs this hospital has, Lilly. I trust you to always do the right thing. Don’t worry about Sherman,” he said dismissively. “I’ll deal with him. He won’t like it. But I think he and I will come to some understanding. And if he gives you any more trouble just come to me. I’ll take care of him.”
“Thank you, Chet. I promise I’ll try to keep my cool around the man. And if I have anything to say to him, I’ll make sure I don’t do it in front of a patient.” Scooting to the edge of the chair, she started to rise, only to have him immediately wave her back down. “Is there something else?”
“Not about Sherman,” he said. “I can’t let you out of my office without asking you if you’d like to have dinner one night. Maybe tomorrow night?”
Chet Anderson would be a great catch for any woman and she genuinely liked the man. But he didn’t make her heart go pitter-patter. When she looked at him, she couldn’t imagine touching him in the ways she’d touched Rafe, feeling the things she’d felt with Rafe.
“I—uh—it’s nice of you to ask, Chet. But I’m—well, I’m seeing someone right now.”
Seeing? Using that word to describe her relationship with Rafe was laughable, she thought. She’d had mind-blowing sex with the man. Yet even now she was still trying to figure out what had made her succumb to Rafe’s advances in the first place. Why had she jumped straight into the fire with both feet?
“Oh. Lucky guy. I hope he’s being good to you.”
Good? Rafe was a bad boy in a very good way, she thought, as a wave of heat touched her face. But she had no idea how long he would be good to her. And for right now she wasn’t letting herself think too much about tomorrow. She’d made the mistake of pinning her future on a man once before. She’d never do that again. And yet the future kept looming in front of her, daring her to think about the long-term and if Rafe could possibly be a part of it.
“He is.”
Leaning forward, he studied her closely. “Well, until he puts a wedding ring on your finger, I won’t give up.”
Taken completely off guard by his comment, she said, “I seriously doubt that’s going to happen with him—or any man. Now I’d better get back to work. Marcella is handling things by herself. She probably needs me.”
With a strange little pain niggling the middle of her chest, she quickly rose to her feet and started to the door.
“Lilly.”
With her hand on the knob, she paused and glanced back at him.
He said quietly, “We never know what the future might bring. I just want you to be happy.”
Future. Happy. Lilly wasn’t about to tie those two words together. Her heart could only deal with one day at a time. With a wan smile, she said, “Thanks, Chet. I’ll remember that.”
* * *
At the same time, nearly twenty miles away on the Silver Horn, Rafe was in the tack room, searching through a stack of mohair girths, when a footstep sounded behind him and then Finn called out.
“Rafe, I’ve been hunting all over the place for you. I saw Denver out at the saddling paddock but he didn’t know where you’d gotten off to.”
Rafe tossed the girths over an empty saddle rack and looked around at his brother. “My girth is about to break. I’m trying to find a thirty-four inch. That should fit Roscoe.”
Finn walked closer and Rafe didn’t miss the rueful expression on his face. Since they’d argued the other day, Rafe hadn’t had a chance to talk to his younger brother. Now was as good a time as any to apologize, he decided.
“I’m glad you found me,” Rafe went on. “I’ve wanted to speak with you. In private.”
Finn began, “If you’re worried about the horse situation I—”
“Before you say anything else, Finn, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I know you’re trying and I know it’s not easy to find quality stock. And I’m short on patience.”
His eyes wide, Finn stepped forward and placed a hand on Rafe’s forehead. “My God, you must be sick,” he teased.
Rafe playfully swatted his brother’s hand away. “I’m not sick. I’m trying to be fair. So don’t push your luck, little brother.”
Grinning now, Finn rocked back on the heels of his boots. “Well, since you’re being so nice about it, I’ve got good news to share with you. I made a deal with the Sandbur for twelve horses. They should arrive here on the Horn by Friday.”
“That’s only two days away! This is great news, Finn. Did you tell Denver?”
“No. I wanted you to be the first to know.”
Feeling more than sheepish, Rafe turned and began to rifle through the girths. “Thanks, Finn. I’m not sure I deserve that from you. But thanks, anyway.”
Moving closer, Finn slapped a hand on Rafe’s shoulder. “Look, Rafe, I need to apologize to you, too. It’s my fault—I should’ve started rebuilding the remuda sooner. But I was thinking you could manage this spring roundup with the string we had, then purchase more before winter hit, when horse prices normally go down. I wasn’t counting on you having that many injured and sick horses.”
“Forget it, Finn. I have.”
“All right. It’s forgotten. But what I said about you and Lilly—that was out of line. Your relationship with her is none of my business.”
Dropping the girths, he faced Finn. “You’re my brother. You have a right to ask me things.”
Frowning, Finn moved a few steps away and took a seat on a bale of hay. “Not in that way. But I am curious about—no, I’m more than curious. I’m concerned about you and her.”
Rafe was surprised that Finn had even noticed anything was going on between him and Lilly. Yes, she’d had dinner and stayed that one night on the Horn, but other than that, he’d not told his family exactly how much he’d been seeing Lilly. “Why are you concerned? She’s just a girlfriend.”
Finn skewered him with a pointed glance. “Really? I’ve never seen any one of your girlfriends around here before.”
“Finn, she’s Gramps’s nurse. She’s here on the ranch most every day, anyway. Besides, why should you be worried about me and Lilly? The woman makes me happy.”
“Is that what you call it? Happy?”
The questions rattled through Rafe’s thoughts as he stared at his younger brother. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Finn shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it. But you’ve not been yourself here lately. And—”
“Just because I got angry about the horses—”
“It isn’t that,” he interrupted before Rafe could say more. “You’ve seemed preoccupied—almost troubled. You don’t seem happy to me.”
Lifting his hat from his head, Rafe slanted fingers through his hair as memories of making love to Lilly began to flash rapid fire through his mind. He supposed Finn was right. He could hardly concentrate on anything but Lilly. Seeing her again, making love to her again, had become his sole focus. She was taking over his life and even if it was in a good way for right now, that didn’t bode well for the long run of things. Not if he wanted to keep his freedom.
“She’s wonderful, Finn. I’ve nev
er known any woman like her. In fact, she’s probably too good for me.”
“So you’re getting serious about her. Hell, Rafe, out of all my brothers, you’re the only one who’s sworn off the idea of marriage. How is this thing with Lilly going to work?”
For the past three days that same question had been nagging at Rafe. She’d dismissed the idea of staying here on the ranch and even if she were to ask him, he couldn’t move in with her. A majority of the time his job took up sixteen to eighteen hours of the day; he couldn’t spend another hour and a half on the road, driving back and forth from her house to the ranch. They’d made a pact to keep things casual, yet the more he was with her, the more his thoughts kept leaping to the future. Something told him that months, even years, would not be long enough to satisfy his cravings for Lilly. And for a man who didn’t want the ties of marriage, that was a mighty scary thought.
Drawing a deep breath, Rafe turned back to the girths and grabbed the first one to come loose from the tangled pile. The size no longer mattered; he’d keep adjusting until he made it fit. “I’m not getting serious, Finn. I can’t. Lilly doesn’t want that and neither do I. There’s nothing to make work. We’re just enjoying each other’s company. That’s all.”
“Well, if you say so.” Finn rose from the hay bale. “But you know something, Rafe, there wouldn’t be anything wrong if you did get serious about Lilly. You might figure out that you’re husband material after all.”
Rafe’s chuckle was more cynical than anything. “If I ever get to thinking I’m husband material I’ll just take another hard look at Dad. That’ll jerk me back to reality.”
Clearly confused, Finn asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“If you don’t understand then you’re better off not knowing.” With girth in hand, he stepped past his brother and headed out the door. “Gotta go. Denver is waiting on me.”
* * *
The next morning Lilly was climbing the stairs to Bart’s study when she heard the jingle of spurs, and then a pair of hands suddenly grabbed her from behind.
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