by Sarra Cannon
Slowly, I reach for the doorknob with a trembling hand.
Rain pelted the window and a tree branch squeaked across the glass, ripping me from sleep.
Sweat soaked the back of my neck and my breath came in short gasps.
I brought my knees to my chest and rubbed my eyes with weary hands. I glanced at the clock. Four in the morning.
I’d been dreaming of the door again, following my mother. She’d been leading me to that door. I needed to know what was behind it.
I knew Rend didn’t want me going through the crow’s door until we had some idea of what was behind it, but what if my mother was there? What if she could give me some of the answers I’d been looking for? What if she could keep me safe?
In my sleep I had tossed the covers off my body, and I stood to straighten them. I thought about getting back into bed and trying to get more sleep, but I’d been locked in the dream of that door for the past several hours.
I needed a break.
I carried a blanket out to the couch and walked to the fridge to get a glass of water, but a feeling seized me as I passed by the large window facing the street.
Someone is out there.
My heart skipped a beat and I forced a deep breath. Weak-kneed, I went to the window and stared out into the storm.
Rain poured hard and wind whipped the trees from side to side.
Cars zoomed by, their lights illuminating the sidewalk as they passed.
That’s when I saw him.
Rend stood in the shadow of a large oak tree near the street, his black hooded sweatshirt soaked through from the rain. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew it was him.
How long had he been down there?
I stepped away from the window and leaned against the arm of the couch for support. I wasn’t sure my legs could hold me.
This was his solution? If I wouldn’t come to the club, he would stand guard all night outside my apartment? In the pouring rain?
I knew my life was in danger, but what I still couldn’t wrap my head around was why my life was so important to anyone.
Especially Rend.
If my blood was so valuable to the Devil, why not let him have me? Wouldn’t that be easier on everyone?
I paced the floor in front of the window, anger giving me the strength to walk again.
Was he really going to just stand out there all night?
I contemplated just going back into my room and going to bed as if I hadn’t seen him. Let him stay out there, miserable and uncomfortable all night. Why should I care? It’s not like I asked him to protect me.
But I already knew I couldn’t let this go.
I couldn’t live my life under his constant supervision.
I'd told him I needed space and that I’d come back when I felt like it. How dare he show up here like this?
I had to put a stop to this now. I had to let him know I had my boundaries and that I needed him to respect that.
I threw open my door and stomped down the three flights of stairs to the front entrance of my building. I stepped out into the night, rain soaking my hair and clothes in seconds. I shivered as the wind picked up. It was still late summer, but the cold rain made it feel like fall.
My eyes struggled to find him out here in the dark. Oak trees lined this entire street, and I couldn’t figure out which one he’d been hiding behind.
As if he knew I was searching for him, Rend stepped around the tree and leaned against it, one leg propped up behind him.
I marched over to him, ready to battle to the death about this if that was what it took. He needed to understand that just because he was bigger and more powerful than I was, he couldn’t just take over my life without asking me. Danger or not, I still needed to be in control of my own choices.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” I asked. I could hardly see through the rain. It pelted my face with thick drops that landed, then slid down my cheeks.
Even in the dim light of the street lamp, I couldn’t see his eyes underneath that hood. His body position was so casual, so utterly unconcerned, that it just pissed me off more.
“I wake up in the middle of the night to find you lurking outside my apartment like some stalker.” I placed a hand on my hip. “You'd better start explaining yourself. And take that stupid hood off.”
I had to shout to be heard over the storm.
He slowly pulled the hood back from his face, and I sucked in a breath. God, he was gorgeous. Every time I saw him, he took my breath away.
I hated him for it.
“It’s the only way I could be sure you would be safe.”
I tensed and drew my hands into fists. “So, what? You’re just going to stand out here every night for the rest of my life?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said.
“Right.” I nodded. “And you do this for all your employees?”
“Of course not.”
“Then what makes me so special that I get the privilege of your company twenty-four-seven?”
“First of all, you have no idea how to take care of yourself.”
Anger pulsed through me.
“Don’t even go there,” I shouted. “I have been taking care of myself since I was five years old.”
“Not against people like him.”
“No, but from what I can tell, Azure and most of the staff there at Venom wouldn’t be able to protect themselves against him. Even you had fear in your eyes when you were talking about him.”
Rend pushed against the tree and moved a step closer. I took one step back.
“Just because I’m afraid of him doesn’t mean I couldn’t destroy him if I wanted to,” he said.
“You’re saying that’s what you would do? If he showed up here tonight, right now? That’s what you would do? You would risk your own life for me?”
He stepped toward me and I backed away. My foot caught on the edge of the sidewalk and I fell. Rend’s form blurred and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to him.
Breathless, I stared up at him, rain falling from him onto me as he held me. “How did you do that?” I asked. “How did you move that fast?”
“I told you, there are so many things about this world you cannot even begin to comprehend.” He stared down into my eyes and I was glad he was holding me because my entire body turned to liquid. “You shouldn’t be out here in the rain like this.”
I cursed my body for shivering against him, but the wind had picked up and I was soaked through.
“I needed to talk to you,” I said.
“We could talk inside,” he said, glancing up at the apartment building.
He lifted me and set me back on my feet, but he didn’t remove his arms from around me.
“I’m not inviting you up,” I said.
He lifted his chin, his lips pressed tight. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”
“Only because you make me that way,” I said. “And you didn’t answer my question.”
“We can talk about it tomorrow. You’re going to get sick if you stay out here.”
“No, we need to talk about this right now,” I said. I knew I should push away from him. My brain didn’t work when he was this close. But the warmth of his body felt so incredible, I couldn’t force myself away.
“Yes,” he said. His eyes moving over my face. “I would risk my life for you.”
My heart stopped for a moment and time stood still. Logically, I knew he didn’t mean that he cared about me. I knew he had sworn to protect everyone who worked for him.
But there was something in his eyes that defied logic.
“Why?” I asked, my breath barely a whisper in the wind.
Against my hands, his chest rose and fell in short breaths.
“Why am I worth so much to you?” I felt the door inside my heart opening to him again and even though a part of me wanted to slam it closed, there was a part of me that still hoped we could be something more. I realized I wasn’t ready to give up on
that hope just yet. “You barely know me. Why take this risk for me?”
I swallowed. I was scared to go any further into this conversation.
He didn’t say anything, but I could feel his heart beating fast against the palm of my hand.
“I’ve tried to make sense of this in my mind ever since you kissed me earlier,” I said, unable to stop myself. “It feels like there could be something between us. Something real that goes beyond you agreeing to protect me because I work for you. But every time you get close to me, you pull away, and I don’t know what to believe anymore. Have I imagined this? Do you want me? Or are you just playing some kind of game with my heart?”
He was quiet for a long moment as my heart thundered against my chest. His jaw tensed and his fingers curled into the skin on my back, drawing the shirt into his fist. His lips parted, but then he shook his head, as if there was a war going on inside of him.
He let out a breath and gripped my arm tighter. “Dammit, Franki,” he said. “I don’t want to feel this way about you. I wish I could stand here and tell you that was all you meant to me. I wish I could say you are nothing more than an employee.”
Thunder boomed in the distance and a car passed beside us, the lights landing on the tortured expression of his face.
“I want you, but I can’t afford to take sides. I’m supposed to be the neutral party, providing a place for those on both sides to come and talk things out and make deals. I don’t take sides,” he said. “I can’t take sides.”
He released me, both hands coming completely off my body as he stepped away and turned his back to me.
I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling that this was the end. This is where the awful truth would come out. I would not let it break me.
“I can protect my employees against most of the evil that’s out there, but with the Devil, things are different,” he said. “I can’t explain it to you now, but choosing you over him would mean choosing sides. It would mean getting involved in a war I’ve worked hard to stay out of.”
He ran a shaking hand through his hair and leaned forward against the tree. He stood there for a long moment, his body as still and rigid as a statue.
Then, he turned back to me, his eyes finding mine even in the darkness of the night.
He shook his head again, then walked with sure steps to me.
My hands dropped to my side, and I looked up as he took my face in his hands.
“Fuck it,” he said. “You’re worth it.”
He claimed my mouth with his, tasting of rain and licorice. His kisses were rough and unrelenting and as my lips opened to him, he moved his hands down my neck and arms and around to my back. He gripped my shirt in his hands and pulled me to him with such force, it took my breath away.
I yielded to him, my heart split wide open by the passion in his touch.
“Invite me in,” he said, finally pulling away. His words were tortured, as if he couldn’t bear taking the moments from my lips to speak them. “Unless you want me to do this in front of all your neighbors.”
I nodded, my arms circling around his neck and my body heating at the thought of what he meant by this.
“Say it,” he said, his forehead pressed against mine. “I need you to say it. I need to know you want this as much as I do.”
“Take me inside,” I said, barely able to recognize my own voice.
He lifted me into his arms and carried me up the stairs into my building. He took the steps two at a time, all the way to the third floor, finding my door without ever taking his eyes from my face.
I had left the door unlocked. He threw it open and carried me across the threshold, then kicked it closed.
He kissed me again as soon as we were inside, the sound of his moans making me yearn for his hands on my body. The room was quiet after being out in the storm. The only sounds were our heavy breaths and the pounding of our hearts.
He set my feet on the floor, but didn’t take his hands from my body. They moved to my hips, pulling me tighter against him. He pushed me backward until my back hit the edge of the kitchen table.
“You are so beautiful,” he said. His voice was rough and filled with longing. “I have wanted you from the moment I saw you beating up those vampires in the alley.”
My skin was freezing from the rain and every time his hand brushed against the skin underneath the shirt, I trembled with fear and desire. The thought of his hands exploring every inch of my bare skin sent waves of longing through me, warmth growing between my thighs.
Impatient, I reached for the zipper on his sweatshirt, pulling it down and pushing it from his shoulders. Underneath he was wearing a black t-shirt that clung to his body, every ridge of his muscles defined and hard beneath the thin fabric. Drops of water fell to the floor all around us and his skin glistened with rain. He lifted the shirt from his body in one swift motion, then reached for the bottom of my shirt—his shirt—and ripped it open, buttons flying.
His strong hands burned against the cold skin of my waist as he pulled my black leggings down. I stepped out of them, completely naked and vulnerable before him. In the back of my mind, warning bells went off, telling me my heart couldn’t come back from this. My soul tried to warn me that all those walls I’d spent years carefully constructing around myself were being ripped down with every touch of his lips against mine.
But I refused to listen.
I didn’t care about tomorrow. All I cared about was right now. This moment. And all I wanted was to feel him against me. Inside me.
My hands reached for the belt at his waist and his stomach rippled at the touch of my skin against his. He moaned and kissed me harder as I pulled his belt from his jeans.
His hands explored my naked skin, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. I shuddered against him as he leaned over me, our bare chests pressed tightly against each other.
Rend kissed me, then moved his mouth across my cheek and down toward my shoulder. He pushed the white shirt down, exposing the skin at the base of my neck. Just as I had earlier at his house, I lifted my chin, giving him complete access. Wanting him more than ever.
His lips brushed against my sensitive skin and I shivered, digging my fingers into his biceps.
His body went rigid and he let out a low growl. The sound sent a wave of fear through me. His mouth opened against my skin and two sharp points dug into me, breaking the skin as I cried out in pain.
I jerked away from him, but he held me down against the top of the table, his strength too much for me. He seemed to be frozen in place as desire and fear waged war inside my core. What was happening to him?
Finally, he wrenched himself away from me, a loud groan escaping as he moved quickly across the room, his form nothing more than a blur of shadows.
I sat up and pulled what was left of the white dress shirt tight around my trembling form.
“Rend?” My voice wavered. I stood and backed as far as I could against the wall, my arms wrapped around myself like a bandage. Warm blood trickled from the small wounds at my neck, and I knew what he was. I knew it, but I didn’t want to believe it.
I shook my head, unable to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.
Rend stood beside the window, his hand gripping the wooden frame with such power it had partially crumbled in his hand. His back rose and fell with each deep, rapid breath.
“I thought I could control it,” he finally said, his voice tense and filled with darkness. “This is why I’m dangerous for you, Franki.”
I yearned for him and feared him in that moment, body and soul surrendered to a man I could never have. The pain of it split me in two as my body shivered against the wall of my small apartment.
“This is why we can never be together,” he said.
He turned to me then, his face cloaked in shadow, but enough light coming through the window for me to see two white fangs protruding from his mouth, my red blood smeared across his lips.
Episode 4: The Dying
Heart-sick
Rend wiped the blood from his lips.
My blood.
But he couldn’t wipe the hunger from his eyes. Hunger I had stupidly mistaken for something different entirely. His chest rose and fell with each labored breath, and I wondered what kind of self-control he still had at this point. Was I in danger?
I clutched the torn shirt that covered my body, pulling it tighter across my cold skin. I pressed my back against the wall of my small campus apartment, desperately trying to make sense of what had just happened.
I was torn between an intense desire for him and an even more intense desire to get the fuck out of dodge.
At my neck, blood pulsed and dripped from two small wounds. My skin throbbed. His teeth had barely punctured the surface, but it was enough to rip us apart.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were one of them?” I asked. I could hear the judgment in my tone, but I knew what I was feeling was less about hating what he was and more about hating that he’d lied about it.
“I’m not one of them,” he said. His voice was grating and rough, low like an animal’s growl.
A piece of the wooden frame of the window crumbled and fell to the floor at his feet. He released his hold on the wood and moved away.
I flinched and pushed back against the wall, realizing with sudden terror that there was no where else to go. If he wanted to kill me, there would be nothing I could do to stop him.
Rend took a couple steps toward me, but when I flinched, he stopped cold. His forehead wrinkled with tension and he swallowed hard. “You’re afraid of me,” he said, disgust dripping from his tone.
“You just grew fangs and bit me,” I said. “Is there some other reaction I should be having right now?”
“Dammit, Franki, don’t make jokes right now,” he growled. “You don’t understand.”
“I understand perfectly,” I said, lifting my eyes to his. “You lied to me about everything. About keeping me safe. About wanting to protect me. You lied about who you are.”
Even as I said those words, I knew I was holding back the one thing that hurt most.
