And yet, the practical side of her knew he was right. Health benefits, security, raising a child with access to their father was vital. Rafe hadn’t done anything to lose those rights and privileges.
But what about her hopes and dreams of meeting a man who will love her forever?
Cautiously his hand reached out to stroke the firm, warm curve of her belly. Melody caught his hand before it touched her. “You hurt me, Rafael. You freaked out and left me dealing with your no-reaction reaction. You don’t get to touch my belly until I say you can. You haven’t earned the right, yet.”
“That’s not how I work, baby. As soon as I knew, I had to take steps to protect you. Protect both of you. You understand that, don’t you?”
Melody pouted, feeling pulled in both directions. He had taken care of a lot of paperwork and details, but he’d left her alone when she needed him. She gazed at the hand she still held, admiring his warm honey-colored skin.
“Part of me understands,” she confessed. “And part of me is still hurt.”
Rafe flipped his hand, so it held hers. “I know I’m old-fashioned, baby. I’ll try and do better, okay? Just.” His eyes closed, and pain washed over his features. “Don’t take this moment from me. Please?”
Melody swallowed at the sheer agony his word inspired. “Rafael?”
“My mother wasn’t a strong woman. No matter how badly my father treated her, she always forgave him. When I was still a child, I decided I didn’t want kids of my own. Didn’t want a wife, either.”
“Is your mom…”
He nodded. “Breast cancer when I was fifteen.”
“I’m sorry.” Her hand tightened on his. So many pieces were falling into place. Maybe Rafe wasn’t cold or distant. Perhaps, he was just guarded. Protective.
“She wasn’t in pain anymore. That was the important part.”
“But you were still in pain, weren’t you?” Melody guessed.
Rafe shrugged, his hand tightening around hers. “I got through the rest of the time with my father. There wasn’t much else to do but survive. I joined the Forces when I was still a senior in high school and never looked back.”
“I see.” They sat like that for several minutes as Melody processed what he’d said. “And now?”
“I won’t lie. I didn’t expect to marry or have kids. I gave up that dream when I signed my enlistment papers. But it’s a done deal. I don’t dither over decisions that have to be made. I will protect you and our little bean.”
With deliberate motions, Melody placed his hand on her baby bump. His eyes grew wide and, if Melody wasn’t mistaken, there was a definite twitch of interest coming from his crotch. She snorted at the thought. At the rate she was putting on pounds, she’d never give anyone a hardon again.
“Lean back a little,” Rafe urged. She reclined, letting her belly poke up. Broad hands spanned her bump as he stared in wonder.
Tears filled Melody’s eyes, but she was getting used to the damn things these days. While useful, hormones were stupid.
Instead, she concentrated on Rafe. The softness which appeared in his eyes as he cradled her belly. The increase of his gentle breathing as a hushed quiet descended around them like a comforting blanket. The warm, honey-colored skin draping over defined muscles. Six-pack abs that flexed as he moved.
How had he gotten hotter since she’d last seen him?
And why was she noticing his hotness now of all things?
Internally, she snorted. Maybe hormones weren’t the enemy after all.
“Have you felt him kick?” Hopeful brown eyes lifted to hers.
Melody licked her lips, gazes glued together. She shook her head. “No, I’m not far enough along. Just little fluttering in my belly. Like dancing butterflies.
“How beautiful,” Rafe said. Melody’s eyes darted up to his. He sounded sincere. And almost wistful. “The doctor said anytime now. Probably right after the first ultrasound.”
His hands slowly stroked her belly, fingertips grazing the underside of her breasts. Teasing her sides. Melody bit back a small whimper as the heat of his palms seeped into her skin.
“How are you feeling? Morning sickness? Back pain?” He grinned and lifted one shoulder. “Those apps are very informative.”
“Better,” Melody said, surprised to find it was the truth. “I dreaded telling you. My folks were less than supportive. Then the nastiness with Abby.” She closed her eyes and relaxed into the couch, wishing she could relax into him.
“I’m glad you told me. Sorry that you thought I wouldn’t handle it well.”
“I know my behavior might have led you to think I did that all the time. You know, having sex with strange guys in bars. But I don’t. Never did before. There was just this attraction with you, Rafael.”
He nodded. “I know, baby. I felt it, too.” He relaxed against the couch cushions and brought her with him so he could massage the tenseness in her shoulders. “Shh,” he crooned. “Let me take care of you.”
Oh good God, his hands felt good. Tension eased away, like a soft spring rain washing away winter’s sludge. Heat spread down her spine, releasing a smattering of impulses that drove her forward.
This was every shade of a bad idea, and yet, that little voice inside her head encouraged her. What harm could it do? You’re already pregnant.
But Melody knew the danger was real. She could slip soundlessly from affection and desire into love. All she needed was a push from the man currently kneading away the pains and pressures of the day. Week. Months.
“That’s a girl. Relax into me,” he encouraged his voice a low whiskey-soaked rasp. Desire hummed through each cell and nerve ending.
“Let me hold you tonight,” Rafe begged, his voice hoarse with repressed emotion.
Melody wanted to sink into him, to float on the cloud of emotions he conjured within her. And yet, she wasn’t quite ready. She craved his body, sure. Loved the way he’d made her react for hours on end to his lovemaking.
But she wasn’t the same woman she’d been three months ago. Latent maternal instincts kicked in, reminding Melody that both she and the bean deserved a man willing to commit. To be there.
And she wanted that from Rafael. Before they said, “I do.”
“I’m not ready for sex,” Melody admitted, turning to look at him over her shoulder. Their gazes met with acknowledgment. The word “yet” hovered in the air. Unspoken. Desire was there between them. Latent. Ready to explode as soon as she gave the word.
Rafe nodded. “Whatever you’re ready for.”
The air between them grew thick as indecision warred within Melody. He’d agreed to her demands. Nothing was holding her back. And yet. And yet.
She wanted him like a fire burning in her soul.
Rafael
Melody stood, tugging with delicate, feminine strength. “You ready for bed?” she asked, shyly, peeking up at him through caramel colored bangs.
He wasn’t. He was a nocturnal animal and wanted to roam the mountains at will. “I’ll need to run off some energy first. My cat is crepuscular. That means he likes to get out and run at dawn and dusk.”
“It’s way past dusk now.” She looked towards the window as though to reassure herself of the lateness of the hour.
“But I’ve had him locked up all day.” How do you explain living with an entity inside you, continually longing to run? Chase. Hunt. Rafe could control him better when he’d been in the service. His cat had been able to infiltrate and watch events unfold within Quibria silently. But once they’d become civilians, there was no more thrill for his cat to pursue.
“And you’ll be gone at dawn?”
Rafe didn’t want to lie to her. He’d never spent more than four hours in any bed since getting his jaguar. “I’m not a good sleeper. Let me hold you until you fall asleep. Please?”
Realization and something else danced in her eyes. Rafe didn’t know how the other shifters did it, but he feared his jag was never going to let him be a comfortable sp
ouse. He was always going to be alert. Pacing. Caged.
Melody nodded before continuing into the bedroom. It was more spacious than he would have thought. Picture windows ready to take both morning and afternoon light. Rafe nodded approvingly.
It wasn’t as large as the bedroom waiting in his home. The one they would share once they married.
Melody moved around the bedroom, little bump leading the way as she went into the attached bathroom to slip on a nightgown. When she came back into the room, she was momentarily illuminated from behind. Each sublime curve clearly delineated as she stood, looking up at him with uncertain eyes.
Rafe opened his mouth, longing to say something but there was nothing there. No words he could think of to tell Melody how exquisite she was. He watched helplessly as the light slid out of Melody’s eyes and was replaced with disappointment.
Rafe took his shirt off and unbuttoned his jeans. He sat on the pristine quilt spread along her bed and held his hand out. “Come to bed, baby.”
She reached behind her to turn off the light and Rafe was momentarily denied the vision of her sweet form. But, like instincts as old as creation, his eyesight improved and he watched her pick her way across the room.
She sat on the bed, spine stiff and unsure. “I’ve never. You know. Just slept with someone.”
“I’m not sure it’s much different from before.” He rested his head on the pillow and silently encouraged her to join him on the bed
“I don’t always say the right thing, Mel. I struggle with words. I’m much better with numbers.”
She snorted in his arms. “You seem to do just fine with actions.”
“Maybe. With you.” Rafe certainly wasn’t going to talk about any other woman in his life. “Just, when I saw you come out of the bathroom. I couldn’t believe how beautiful you are. Your curves. Your face. Your sweetness. Your youth.”
“Not that young,” Melody argued.
“Compared to me? Chela, I am a past my prime shifter. I can’t jump as high as I used to. Can’t run as fast as I want.”
Melody ran her fingers through hair.
“And I’m getting grey. Know any stylists who can get rid of them?” he teased, tenderly touching his nose to hers.
“Nah, I like them. Makes you look like a silver fox.” She smiled impishly up at him and wrinkled her nose.
Rafe snorted. “More like an aging jaguar.”
“We’ll have to agree to disagree on the subject.”
Rafe looked around the bedroom. It was full of a cheerful kind of clutter. “This is a beautiful quilt.”
The muscles of her face moved as she smiled against his chest. “My grandmother quilts. She made this for me when I graduated high school.”
There was something there, he thought. A guarded tone to Melody’s voice. “Is your grandmother still alive?”
“Yes. My parents don’t like her very much, so I don’t get to see her very often.” Melody chuckled. “Maybe that’s why I liked her so much. She never understood how her daughter could marry my dad.”
“Your dad is unkind?” Rafe knew how to fake emotions to make a deal. But for all his people savvy, the dynamics which existed between families confounded him.
“Father believes in money. He’s a CFO for a world bank. They have a house on Grand Cayman. He was very disappointed I didn’t want to do more with my life.”
“You’re happy, have friends, and can support yourself. What else is there?” He led them to the bed, relaxing into the baby girl pink pillowcases.
“Yeah, you’d think?” Melody yawned and curled next to him.
Just a little closer, Rafe wanted to say but held his tongue. The desire to have her blissfully relaxed pushed against him.
Rafe turned until he held her spooned in his arms. He pressed his hips into the lush curve of her ass and snaked his free hand around her waist. She resisted for just a minute before sighing and slipping off into her dreams.
Using his Jaguar senses, Rafe tuned out the hum of the refrigerator, the low sound of the furnace, and the assortment of ambient noises in the room. Melody’s scent was overpowering. Addictive. And just beneath that was whiff of their baby.
Rafe concentrated, sending his hearing outward like he had as a spy.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.
The baby. His baby. Our baby. “Jesus,” he prayed, closing his eyes at the realization pulsed through him like a live wire. There was a perfectly formed, intact person beneath the protective spread of his hand.
An unexpected emotion unfurled in his heart, catching Rafe by surprise. Fear trickled into his mind as he examined it. Could this be love?
A band tightened around his chest. He hadn’t thought he was vulnerable to love. Didn’t know he was capable of it. But as the tiny woman with the candy-colored hair slept in his arms, Rafe began doubting his own self-assurance.
Feline arrogance crumbled around him. This wasn’t a deal to be made or a closing.
Melody held not only his child but his very soul within her grasp.
Chapter Six
Melody
She felt him leave in the middle of the night. Tried not to cry out when his heat dissipated from the cocoon they’d created. Melody held her belly tightly, hugging herself for both comfort and warmth. The ache between her breasts grew until Melody was sure she was having a heart attack.
Rocking herself for comfort, eyes gritty from a combination of stress and fear, Melody eventually let go into the forgetful arms of sleep.
When her alarm went off at seven, Melody awoke feeling groggy and grumpy to the scent of frying bacon and the sounds of a lone jaguar shifter making breakfast. Melody swung her legs out, feeling a touch of wooziness rush over her. Oh, please, she thought. No more puking! She didn’t want to be sick. Not today.
She reached for a water bottle on her bedside table. Her sonogram appointment was this afternoon. Somehow, she had to fit thirty-two ounces of water in what felt like her ten-ounce bladder.
“Hey,” she greeted Rafe when she joined him in the kitchen.
He kissed her forehead. “I have to show a house today. Can you come with me?”
“Oh. No. I have two haircuts this morning and my sonogram after lunch.”
Rafe nodded, silently staring at the plate of food in front of him. She wondered what he was thinking.
“If you’re not going to eat that, I’d appreciate some breakfast.” Melody smiled to break the tension she felt rising in Rafe. “It’s either that or I get to toss my cookies this morning.”
“Oh, sure.” Absently, Rafe slid the dish in front of Melody and got up to prepare a second plate. He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through it. “What time is your appointment?”
“One o’clock at the hospital.”
He put a cup of steaming green tea in front of her as he continued to look at his calendar. “It’s what you had so I made it,” he offered.
“Yeah, that’s. Thank you.” Melody stumbled over her words. Were they always going to be this awkward around each other? Every emotion was like an exposed wire, raw and waiting. Rafe wasn’t even looking at her as he grunted, sent a few texts, and called his assistant.
“Kimber, I need you to reschedule my lunch appointment. Something else came up, and I’ll be busy.”
Melody bit her lip before dropping her eyes and digging into the breakfast Rafe prepared for them. He was doing it. Despite his doubts and fears, Rafael Chamorro was making room for their bean on his schedule.
Maybe they could make a relationship work.
After breakfast, while still sucking down more water than any one person should drink, let alone a pregnant woman with a baby on her bladder for crying out loud, Melody got dressed.
She grabbed her usual black leggings and oversized top before catching her reflection in the closet mirror. “No,” she stated quietly. “Why am I hiding?” Everyone already knew she was pregnant including the baby’s father. Melody shook her head, refusing to be ashamed
of either her bean or Rafe.
With a toss of her long hair, she put on a cute, tight sweater instead. The green brought out her eyes and the highlights in her hair. Melody turned this way and that, looking at herself from all angles. Despite only being three months along, she was definitely showing. It concerned her, but she hoped she’d be able to lose the excess weight after she delivered.
“I’ll give you a ride into town.”
Melody wasn’t expecting his announcement. She looked at him in surprise. “Oh. Are you sure?”
Rafe sighed, running his hands through his hair. He did that a lot when she questioned him. A perverse sense of pleasure inundated Melody, and she made a firm decision to challenge him whenever she could. She liked seeing his implacable, controlled self get all ruffled.
“Of course, I’m sure. I’ll arrange to have a new car delivered to you in a few days. I don’t like you in that compact. It doesn’t look safe.”
Melody bristled. “You don’t get to just. You know. Buy me a new car.” Although, really, why was she complaining again? Most people liked new cars. She would certainly love a new car, but she didn’t want to admit it.
“Who is the Daddy and who is the baby?” He held a finger to her lip, making her think about her answer before answering.
Melody swallowed, that warm flush of emotion coursing through her again. In one question, he isolated her fear and addressed it. “You’re the Daddy,” she admitted.
Rafe brushed the briefest of kisses on her forehead. “And who do Daddies take care of?”
Her mouth suddenly parched, Melody licked her lips. “Their babies.”
“Dale pues,” he said. Of course.
Rafe placed his hand at her low back as they left Little Yellow. “Your car is not safe. I’ll have Kimber run a search of the safest car brands, and you can pick one.”
He led the way to the parking lot and opened the door for her. Melody accepted his hand to help her reach the running board. He took his responsibility seriously, and Melody appreciated his concern for their baby.
“You look hot in that outfit,” Rafe said just as she was about to climb into the passenger seat.
Melody blushed, pleased he had noticed the extra effort she took today. But honesty made her say, “I can’t even button my jeans, anymore. I’m getting fat.”
Having her Jaguar's Baby Page 4
