by T. S. Joyce
She nearly tripped over a box sitting on the second to top stairs when she strode down to go find Anson to pester him into liking her. With a frown, she bent down, picked it up, and shook it gently. It was covered in clear masking tape. There were probably a dozen layers of it, and when she turned it around in her hands, there were words written on the side in dark marker.
Use your claws.
- Jax
Frantically, she scanned the clearing in front of her cabin, but she was alone. How had he snuck up here to deliver this without being caught by Ben, who apparently magically knew everything that happened in his territory? She was calling bullcaca on Jenny’s claim. She had no doubt now that Jaxon could come and go as he pleased, and not get caught if he didn’t want to. Sexy giant stalker.
Use her claws? She flicked out her fingers like wolverine, but nothing happened. “Fing,” she said on the next try, but still nothing.
“I didn’t mean literally, Anna,” a deep rumbling voice sounded from the corner of her cabin.
She screeched and skidded down the stairs, then landed hard on her butt on the very bottom one. The box landed in the dirt in front of her.
“Oh, my God, how have you survived up until now,” Jaxon said from right beside her.
He reached out to help her up, but she swatted away his giant paw and scrambled upright. “You’re supposed to ask if I’m okay after you put me on the ground.”
“I didn’t do that. You should’ve heard me coming. Can you not smell me, woman?”
“Well…” She sniffed delicately. It did smell heavily of Jaxon’s cologne and his bear’s fur. “Maybe I was distracted by presents and riddles.”
“Were you trying to make your claws come out of your human fingers?” he asked. “Because you can’t.”
Damn his amused smile, she wanted to claw that off. “You’re making me mad. And a little embarrassed. I thought for a second you meant I could be a badass like Cat Woman and just…make my weapons come out.”
“Speaking of your weapons.” Jaxon turned around and pulled his blue and black plaid lumberjack shirt up, along with his black T-shirt, and exposed two sets of angry-looking claw marks that were practically healed already.
She canted her head and tried to contain her smile. “If you’re waiting for an apology, I’m not sorry.”
“You remember that conversation?” he asked low as he settled his shirts back into place and leaned against the railing of her porch. That sexy man felt a dozen feet tall and nearly blocked out the damn sun behind him with his wide shoulders.
“Of course I remember. I have a bad habit of thinking I’m always doing the wrong thing, and so I apologize for things that I shouldn’t.”
“The first time you apologized, I was so confused. I was busy working. It was a bad day for the family business. A bad day for the Gray Backs, too. A bunch of shipments got messed up, and it brought angry humans into Damon’s Mountains. I was working to fix the mistakes, trying to keep some of the grizzlies from going territorial on the humans. I didn’t have time to breathe all day, much less look at my phone. I thought about you, but I just couldn’t get a second to text you during the chaos. It was bad. And when we finally got everything settled down, I went straight back to my trailer and checked my messages. There were a ton from you. They started out so cute. I was smiling because it felt so fucking good to read about your normal day when I’d just spent hours trying to keep Beaston and Jason and my dad from maiming some pissed-off humans. You’d taken a picture at a coffee shop of this mug that said You’re Hot. You took me shopping, took pictures and messaged me, and you went to the post office and took a selfie of this stuffed valentine’s bear. Aaand that’s when it hit me what day it was. February fourteenth, and my head had been so messed up since first thing that morning, I hadn’t realized the holiday. Your messages got worried. You asked if I was okay. There were a couple hours of silence, and then you apologized for bothering me.” Jaxon’s dark eyebrows lowered, and he shook his head. “As if you could bother me, Anna. Your messages were the best part of my day. I felt bad for not wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day, and I felt frustrated you thought you had to apologize for something so silly.”
“Yeah,” she murmured, remembering the pain of uncertainty that day. “I was hoping you would do something sweet, or send me a video and ask me to be your valentine. Totally lame, I know, but I was also depending on you for normal. And you were gentle but firm and told me to never apologize for anything unless I actually did something wrong. And for the rest of that night, I felt like I’d gotten in trouble by you.”
“I could tell. You got quiet, and when I messaged you asking if you were okay, you texted back I’m fine.” Jaxon stepped forward, brushed his hands through her hair, and cupped the back of her head, angled her face up toward him. “When my dad asks my ma that, and she answers ‘I’m fine,’ my brother, Jathan, and I always knew to get the hell out of dodge, because she would eventually explode and rip my dad a new asshole.” The corner of his lip curved up slightly in a smile that disappeared when he began talking again. “I waited for you to rip me, but you didn’t. You just got more quiet. For a couple of days, I was afraid I’d lost you, and I couldn’t understand why. I had all these visions of having to wake up without your messages, to go through my day not talking to you, and it sucked. I wasn’t ready to lose you. I even thought about calling you.”
“Wow, that’s some desperation. An actual phone call, Jax? You must’ve been scared.”
He chuckled and drew closer to her, massaging the back of her head gently with his fingertips. His eyes were striking in the saturated sunlight as he studied her face. They were caught between his human caramel brown and the green of his animal, and they glowed from the pupils out, ever so slightly. “I begged you to talk to me. To tell me what was wrong.”
“I needed time because I didn’t like getting in trouble for something I was already self-conscious about. I knew I had a problem with apologizing. Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has made a comment about how they hated that I did that. It was my go-to reaction for everything. I was mad that you’d pointed it out so early in the relationship we were building, and you weren’t even physically around me to hear me apologizing. You saw that about me too soon. I felt exposed and scared of what we were becoming and angry at myself for not having fixed that habit before. And when I explained it, you were so sweet, so understanding, but still firm in telling me I needed to work on it for me, not for you or for anyone else. But you said you wanted to see me strong, not groveling, not taking my reactions back, not saying sorry for things I shouldn’t feel any guilt over. And so from then on, I actually worked on it.”
“And now?” he asked, lifting his chin proudly as he looked down at her.
“Now, I’m not sorry.”
“That’s my girl,” he growled. Jaxon leaned down and kissed her. It was soft at first, his lips moving against hers with gentle ease. His tongue brushed against her bottom lip, and she opened just enough for him to slip inside of her mouth. Jaxon angled his face the other way and dragged her closer until their bodies pressed against each other. His tongue drove deeper and harder, and his hands went rough in her hair, causing a helpless whimper to crawl up the back of her throat. She clung to him, gathered the soft fabric of his outer shirt in her clenched hands to keep him close. The cat inside of her was letting off a soft growl with every breath she took, but she didn’t care about that so much right now. Not when Jaxon was growling, too. Not when he was gripping the back of her neck and sliding his other hand around her back, pulling her so tight against him as if he never wanted to let her go again.
“That’s enough,” Ben called in a pissed-off tone, one that made Annalise wince and her inner panther hiss in defense.
Jaxon huffed an angry-sounding snarl but didn’t stop kissing her. If anything, his lips were more urgent against hers.
“Hands off my panther, Grizzly!” Ben yelled.
Jaxon ripped away from her kiss w
ith a feral sound, and he rounded on the alpha. “Go ahead and call her yours again. I fuckin’ dare you.”
“Jaxon,” she whispered, tugging his hand. This couldn’t go to battle. They would hurt each other, and already She-Devil was snarling to escape her skin. She would hurt Ben, too, and Jenny’s words about how easily this crew could fold were pounding against her skull. She couldn’t bring Red Havoc down. “Babe,” she murmured, squeezing his hand and running her other palm up the length of his rigid spine. “He didn’t mean it like that.” God, why was it so hard to breathe around him right now? It felt like a hundred pounds had just been placed on her shoulders and she was standing in quick sand, sinking inch by inch under the heavy power radiating from Jax.
Jaxon ran his hand over his hair and swallowed the snarl down. His muscles still tense under her hand, he said in a low, gravelly voice, “Best not to get Titan riled up, Panther. I was in control yesterday. It ain’t always like that.”
Whuuut the fuuuck? Titan? He named his damn bear, Titan? That was almost as bad as She-Devil.
“I invited you into my territory for a meeting,” Ben growled. “Let’s get this done.” Ben turned on his heel and sauntered back toward his cabin. “Now, Grizzly,” he barked over his shoulder.
When Annalise looked up at his face, Jaxon was smiling like a green-eyed demon, but there was no humor in the curve of his lips. There was the promise of murder. And now she was starting to understand why the boys didn’t want him in their territory. Their rapport would always be like this—defensive and right on the verge of a bloodbath. The panthers were brawlers, but Jaxon’s animal was different. Jenny had been right about him being too big and dominant to stay in the territory, especially with the crew on unsteady ground.
The realization blasted pain, dark and deep, through her chest. As she watched Jaxon walk away with those graceful, powerful, inhuman strides of his, she inhaled deeply, forcing her lungs to expand to ease the ache behind her sternum.
It was in this moment she realized she couldn’t have both Red Havoc and Jax.
Hands shaking from how damn close Jax and Ben had come to clawing each other, she blinked hard and picked up the box off the ground, then watched Ben open the door to his cabin and disappear inside. Jaxon hesitated on the porch, then raised those fiery green eyes to hers. She couldn’t read his emotions because he’d closed down, but a strange possessiveness overtook her. Even monstrous, Jax was hers.
He dipped his gaze away and disappeared into Ben’s house. The firm click of the door closing was loud in the silence of the clearing. And she felt alone again.
This was her least favorite feeling. It had been her only companion for months, and she was ready to move on. Ready to connect with people and build herself up again. She was ready to get out of the ashes she’d been wallowing in and be the damn phoenix already.
Just to make herself feel better, she marked off number one on her short-term goals checklist.
1. See Jaxon again asap.
Juggling her notebook and the box, she shoved her door open and squatted down in the small living room where she didn’t exactly use her claws, but she did rip and pull at that tape until she could wrestle the lid open.
Inside was a huge stack of papers. On top of the stack was a cell phone with a gold glittery case with a skull on it. There were black jewels for the skull’s eyes. It was cute, and badass, and sparkly, and so her. With an emotional grin, she read the top page. He’d really done it. Jaxon had printed off all their text messages, starting from day one, when they’d found each other on that dating site and exchanged phone numbers. He’d highlighted a part of their first conversation in purple, her favorite color.
Jax: So, you’re telling me you’re a girly girl then? Deal-breaker.
Anna: Totally girly girl. In fact, if you saw me right now, you would be appalled by my girly-ness. Guess what I’m wearing? And don’t be gross about it. I’m not into dirty talk on a first text-date.
Jax: Okay, I’ve got this. You’re about to be so creeped out and think I’m hiding in your bushes, looking at you through the window.
Anna: Hey Creepy McCreeperson, less of that.
Jax: Lol, okay. Pink sparkly dress, hair done up like a sixties pin-up girl, matching pink high heels, bright red lipstick, matching bejeweled phone case and purse, and because I’m a dude, I have to say I’m also imagining matching pink panties. Please say they have sequins.
Anna: God. I already regret giving you my number.
Jax: No, you don’t. You like to play games. How close am I?
Anna: Well, I know you’re not in my bushes. I just giggled saying that last part. Sounds perverted. But no. You aren’t close at all. Black yoga pants, a white tank top with a mustard stain from the hot dog I ate for lunch, panties are comfy cottons in the color boring-beige, and I haven’t brushed my hair in two days. Are you running yet, Jax? #girlygirl
Jax: #dreamgirl
It had the times printed with the messages. It had taken Annalise three minutes to respond because he’d surprised her. She’d expected him to be turned off and leave the conversation. In a way, she’d been testing him.
Anna: Really?
Jax: I’m relieved. I told you…deal breaker. I’m not really into girls who sparkle. Was I at least close on the phone case?
Anna: Nope. I don’t even have a cute case. My phone is just black. Dream phone case would have a cute skull on it, though. I saw one once in a store. It was expensive so I didn’t get it, but I still think it’s the cutest one I’ve ever seen. I like sugar skulls.
Annalise set the page down and ran her finger along the edge of the jewels on the phone Jax had gifted her. He’d remembered a conversation from four months ago. He’d bought her a new phone and a dream case. He didn’t seem like the type of man to give gifts easily, but he’d seen her need for a phone and filled it. And he’d done it in such a meaningful way. And then he’d listened to her last night when she’d expressed her regret over losing their text conversations and he’d printed it out.
Under that top page was a title page. The words were short and sweet.
Favorite Story
By: Anna and Jax
“Oh my gosh,” she crooned, pulling out the huge manuscript from the box.
This was her favorite present ever. He’d gifted her endless highs when she needed an escape from the hard stuff. She could pull out any page from these hundreds and be instantly transported to the moment they were having that conversation and how she felt—which with Jax, was always happy. Or as happy as she could be at the time.
Out loud, she admitted softly, “Aww, I like him.”
The vision of his glowing green eyes flashed across her memory, but she didn’t care. Because inside of this giant of a man, this dangerous man, this Titan Bad Bear, he cared, and he was sweet. Maybe the outside world couldn’t see that part of him, but she did.
And lucky her that he had shown her this hidden piece of himself.
Chapter Eight
Annalise sat on the floor surrounded by pages of Favorite Story. She’d been devouring their old conversations for the past half hour.
There was a soft knock at the door. Hopeful, she stood and jogged over the scuffed wooden floors to answer it. Jaxon stood on the ground, right near the first porch stair, his hand on the back of his neck, chin lowered, with a look of such uncertainty in his lightened eyes.
“The present,” she started, struggling for the words that would do her gratefulness justice. “Jax, that was everything.”
Must’ve been good enough because his lips curved up in a stunning smile. Just a flash before it faded and he said, “Can I come in,” in that gruff voice that said Titan was still close to the surface.
“Just so you know, my dirty mind wants to turn that perverted.”
“Can I come in your house, and in you?” he said with a bad-boy grin.
“You were always good at playing.”
The smile faded, and he leaned against the railing, staring
toward the other cabins. “You needed the play. I could tell.”
“You could?” she asked.
“Yeah. You would have quieter days, but the second we started playing, you would perk up and be your abnormal, funny, perverted, weird, perfect little self again. I didn’t mind playing. It made me feel better, too.”
She gave him a naughty smile. “You may enter my mansion.”
“God,” he muttered and then chuckled as he made his way up the stairs.
She expected him to just walk on through, but his hand slipped to her waist, and he squared up to her, pinning her against the doorframe. With a quick glance toward Ben’s cabin, Jaxon leaned down and sipped at her lips. It was so surprisingly gentle that she melted against him immediately.
She loved everything about this. The way his hand stayed relaxed on her waist, as though they’d kissed a thousand times, and the way he tasted, the way his lips moved against hers like gently rolling lake waves. The way both of their animals stayed silent, like they were giving their human sides a moment to just be together, no reminders that they were monsters.
It was the most normal moment she’d experienced since she’d been Turned.
And Jax was the one giving it to her.
Awww, I like him.
Her stomach fluttered as he switched the angle of his kiss and pressed himself against her firmly. No man had ever been able to draw this kind of reaction from her body. Every cell reached for him, like they could never be close enough.
He dipped his tongue past her lips, but didn’t push for more. Instead, he rested his forehead against hers and let off a shaky sigh. Eyes closed, he brushed his fingertips down her arms and linked their hands. And then he said something that confused her. “You’re terrifying.”
She squeezed his hands. “Jax, look at me.”
He opened his eyes, and she immediately knew why he’d been hiding. The color there was such a light and unnatural green, they were almost painful to look at.
