by B. M. Hardin
“What happened?”
“I was attacked at work.”
“You are not going back there,” Joel said.
“Yes, I am.”
“Who attacked you? And why?”
“I don’t know. She said that she thought that I was Hannah. She told me that I was sleeping with her husband and that he was in love with me. She said I ruined their marriage. She said that I drove Hannah’s car, worked where Hannah worked, and lived in Hannah’s house, but that I wasn’t Hannah. But I am. So instead of shooting me, she just ran away.”
Joel and I started to go back and forth about me quitting my job again and then China spoke up.
“What did she look like?”
“What?”
“What did she look like?”
I explained the appearance of the woman as she took a seat.
“Oops.”
“Oops, what?”
“Sounds like the wife of the married man that I was seeing.”
“What? Why would she think that your name was Hannah?”
“Because I told him that my name was Hannah.”
Both Joel and I looked at her confused.
“He was married, so I didn’t want to give him my real name. I didn’t want something to go terribly wrong where he came looking for me or stalking me or something. So I gave him a fake name.”
“It wasn’t a fake name China. It was my name!”
“I didn’t think of it like that.”
Unbelievable!
All of this mess had been because of China?
“He was from out of town, about an hour and a half away. He didn’t even know who you were or how popular you were for what you do. When he asked for my name, your name just came out, and when I saw that he wasn’t familiar with you, I just went with it.”
“China, are you serious?” Joel asked.
“Most of the time I drove to see him. I just thought that it was easier that way. That’s why I would use your car. I didn’t want him to have my real license plate number or anything if he started acting crazy or something.”
“But you wanted him to have mine?” I said in disbelief.
“I wasn’t thinking about it like that.”
“No, because you were only thinking about yourself!”
I screamed at her, but she finished explaining herself.
“He only came here a few times. She must have followed him. Not wanting him to know where I lived, I would have him meet me here; and then I would allow him to follow me to a hotel.”
Whatever she said at this point really didn’t matter.
“Apparently, I should have been more concerned about his wife than I was with him. I’m not sure how she found out where you worked. Maybe he followed me one day, to drop off your car. And maybe she was behind him, or she could have followed me from the hotel. I’m not sure Hannah. I stopped talking to him few days after our talk. I stopped answering his calls and his texts. I ignored all of his begging and his pleas. I knew that he didn’t know how to find me so I wasn’t worried about it. I knew that finally, he would stop calling, and one day he did. He just stopped. I thought whatever we shared was a thing of the past. I didn’t know that his wife even knew about me or that she would try to attack you. I’m sorry.”
I was furious with her.
“So, this was her first time seeing you?” Joel asked me.
I shrugged.
“People always say that we looked alike. If she was far enough away or only got a glimpse of you from behind, of course, she would have thought that we were the same person.”
She was right.
People always said that we looked alike.
But screw that.
Her reckless ways could have gotten me killed.
She’d had me stalked, and almost had me gunned down by an angry wife, all because she opened her legs to a married man.
“She could have killed me China!”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? What if she had shot me one day as I was leaving work without fully getting a glimpse of my face? What if she hadn't played around, or wasted time and killed me instead of leaving the roses for me to find over and over again? What if she had run me off of the road the day that she followed me? How could you have been so stupid?”
“I said that I was sorry Hannah.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough China. Or would you prefer if I called you Hannah too?” I screamed behind me as I stormed down the hallway to my bedroom.
How could she have been so stupid?
~***~
“You can’t stay mad at me forever Joel.”
“Watch me.”
He got into his car and drove away.
Joel was so mad at me, for so many different reasons that I couldn’t keep up.
He was mad because I wouldn’t quit my job.
He was mad that I didn’t tell him about the random roses that were being left at the house or on my car.
He was still mad about the fact that I didn’t want a baby.
And the list goes on.
Yet he didn’t seem to be mad at China for almost getting me killed.
But I still wasn’t over it.
I hadn't spoken to her since that day, and I wouldn’t answer any of her calls.
Joel told me that she had gone to the police station to give them the name of the married man so that they could locate his wife, but even that wouldn’t fix it.
She was reckless, careless for what she’d done and I was going to need some time to get over it.
Finally pulling off, I headed towards the office in one hell of a bad mood.
I surely hoped that Blake was going to keep his word and take our conversations to the next level because I wasn’t in the mood today for his reindeer games.
My marriage was falling apart, again, simply because I was so consumed with helping him rather than being worried about my safety and making my husband happy.
The only person that could probably talk some sense into him and persuade him to see things my way was China or his mother.
But since I wasn’t talking to China and because his mother had been pressuring us to start a family too, I couldn’t turn to either of them for help on this one.
This time, I was on my own.
And I prepared myself for Joel to be sour until he got over it.
But he’d put his foot down.
No more working late for a while, and I could understand that much.
I didn’t have to work at the office…I could just bring it all home with me.
At the sight of the office, I shifted my focus from myself to my patients.
Just as I parked, to my surprise, I noticed Blake was sitting in the parking lot.
It was hours before his scheduled appointment, so I could only guess that maybe he wanted to talk about something important.
Joel told me that China had told him that she couldn’t see him anymore, so maybe he wanted to talk about that.
And then again, probably not since he probably didn’t really care anyway.
I put my dummy face on in preparation to pretend as though I didn’t know what had happened.
He approached me as soon as I got out of the car and leaned up against the hood of my car.
“One day she was perfect. The next day she was depressed, strung out and I no longer mattered to her.”
Nope.
This wasn’t about China.
“Your real mother?”
He nodded.
“What changed?”
“Everything”
“Where was your father?”
“Gone. He couldn’t help her. And no one could help me.”
I noticed my first scheduled appointment pulling up, but they were just going to have to wait.
Blake was talking, and I couldn’t stop him now.
“At first, she was so fun and so beautiful. I was proud to have her as my mother. It was something about her smile and her touch. And ci
rcumstances took it all away from her.”
“What kind of circumstances?”
“Life. She was never the same. Finally, she did us both a favor and overdosed.”
So that’s how she died.
“I knew that she was going to do it. It was the way that she hugged on me that night. It was the way that she kissed on my face and cried. I knew that she was going to be gone when I woke up in the morning. And I was glad. I wanted her out of my life. Surely life without her would be better. The beatings would stop. The emotional abuse would stop. At least that’s what I thought.”
“They didn’t.”
“No. They got worse. Much worse. Every home I went to was worse than the last.”
“Where was your dad?”
“He couldn’t take care of me either.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t want me.”
“Why?”
“Dig him up and ask him.”
“You didn’t kill him did you?”
“Of course not.”
“So you were in lots of foster homes?”
“For years. All over the world.”
“And you were abused?”
“For years.”
“But somehow you managed to make it through it all. You graduated at the top of your class and from an Ivy League college. And now you have an amazing career,” I pointed out, considering the few pieces of information that I’d found on him.
Blake laughed wickedly.
“You, know, you’re not as good as a listener as you think you are. You hear me, but are you listening to me, Hannah?”
“Yes. Yes, I am listening to you.”
“Then why didn’t you remember one of the most important things that I have said to you? People and papers lie,” was all he said before getting into his car and speeding off.
People and papers lie…okay what did I miss?
So was he saying that what I saw about his college history was wrong?
But he must have some type of higher education and experience to be the head honcho of such a large and successful company.
I replayed the conversation over and over again in my head as I made my way inside of the building.
I had to get the thoughts down on paper, so I kept my appointment waiting a little while longer so that I could make a few notes in Blake’s file.
He was letting me in.
Slowly, but surely, he was letting me in.
Summer sent my patient back and informed me that Blake had called in to cancel his appointment for later.
I was really hoping to finish our conversation, but it did give me some time to put a few things together considering the things that he had revealed to me.
I finished my two sessions, minus Blake’s, and headed out on my short day.
I hadn't forgotten my concerns in regards to Summer, so I made a few much-needed calls for a little technical assistance and to set up some office equipment for me to watch her.
After all of that, I tried calling Joel to see if he wanted to do lunch but he didn’t answer.
So I was on my own.
I drove in silence just to relax, but I slammed on brakes just in time at the sudden traffic jam in front of me.
What was going on?
Thirty minutes later, I was still sitting in the same spot.
I could see that it had been an accident because I could see the truck with the messed up grill and shattered windshield.
Finally, the cars started to move, and once I got up close enough, I froze in place.
The other car was China’s.
And judging from the looks of the car and the yellow and black tape around it…
China was dead.
****************************************
Chapter FOUR
Joel coughed, and I looked at him.
The mixture of coughing and crying didn’t seem to go well, and he walked off from the burial.
With watery eyes, I glanced one last time at the coffin before it disappeared into the ground and then I hurried after my husband.
I couldn’t even begin to express what I was feeling, so I hadn't even tried.
The reports said that it was her fault.
They said that she was the one that caused the accident, but it was just so hard to believe.
China was one of the safest drivers I’d ever seen.
She always used her signals. She always drove the speed limit. She wouldn’t pull off unless you had your seat belt on.
Nevertheless, the driver of the truck wasn’t charged, and we’d just buried someone that could never be replaced.
Of course, she was Joel’s closest cousin, so he and all of his family were taking it pretty hard.
And so was I.
She had become my best friend.
And now she was gone.
We were never going to get the chance to try to mend our friendship, and I would never get the chance to forgive her for putting me in such a terrible situation.
I’ll never get to say goodbye.
I finally caught up with Joel and I rubbed his back as he choked and tried to pull himself together.
I’d been telling him for weeks to go to the doctor to figure out why he had such a bad cough that he couldn’t get rid of, but to push my buttons, he wouldn’t listen to me.
“I can’t believe she’s gone.”
I embraced him.
“I know. Me either,” I said softly as I laid my head on his shoulder.
As I comforted my husband, I stared off into the distance.
And that’s when I saw him.
Blake.
What was he doing here?
Of course, he knew about China’s death.
Joel told him when he called to take off from work.
He was just standing there, all dressed in black, looking as spine-chilling as ever.
Sneakily, I stared at him until finally, he walked away.
A part of me wished that was the last time that I would ever see him, but we had a session coming soon.
With all of my heart, if I could change my mind or my decision to start counseling him, I really would.
It was starting to feel like one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and whether it was now or later, I was sure that one day, my decision was going to come back and bite me in my butt.
China crossed my mind.
I hadn't spoken to her, but Joel had mentioned that China cut things off with Blake per my request.
And now China was dead.
He wouldn’t would he?
No.
He had no real reason to.
Besides, he wasn’t involved in the accident.
It was something that just happened.
Right?
The drivers of cars around the accident all agreed with the driver of the truck that it had been China who had caused the fatal wreck.
They said that she was swerving, and swerved into the trucker’s lane and crashing into him head on.
What had she been doing?
Although it all sounded strange to me, it was just an accident.
I shook my thoughts away from China and Blake and focused on my husband.
He was my primary concern.
At least for the moment.
~***~
I jumped at the sound of the alarm.
We’d had the motion detectors back in place since the incident with the angry wife, and Joel had found the time to put up the monitor so that we could see all around the house when the alarm went off.
I rushed to the monitor while Joel headed to silence the ear piercing noise.
I didn’t see anyone.
I didn’t even see a cat or a dog, so I was wondering what might have set it off.
“Nothing.”
Joel and I both headed back to bed.
“Are you going to work tomorrow?”
He coughed and curled back under the covers.
“No. I feel terrible. Are you?”
“Yes.”
“You couldn’t stay here and take care of me.”
“I can’t. I really have to go in tomorrow Joel. It’s my early day. I’ll come home by two and I can go with you to the doctor. Are you going to make the appointment?”
He smacked his lips and didn’t say another word.
Tomorrow I was scheduled to see Blake, and I wasn’t going to miss that appointment.
No way.
No how.
I tossed and turned all night and at the sight of the morning sun, seeping through the bedroom shades, I didn’t hesitate to get up and get going.
Joel stayed in the bed.
“How are you doing?” Blake asked me just as soon as he walked through the doorway a few minutes after noon.
“I’m doing better. And you?”
“Fine.”
“You’re just fine?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have any feelings about China’s accident? I mean you two were dating.”
“I’m unbothered.”
Just the way that he said it was so cold and heartless.
“You don’t feel anything at all?”
“Why would I? How is he holding up?”
“Better.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Will Joel be ready to come back to work soon?”
“I think so.”
“And China was his blood cousin?”
“Yes. Why do you ask that?”
“Just asked.”
Yeah, I bet.
“Are you on your lunch breaks when you come here?”
“I’m the boss. I go where I want and if someone needs me, they know how to reach me on my cell.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“That’s what I pay you to do; to ask me questions.”
“What were you doing at China’s funeral?”
“I thought that I could at least come by. As you said, we were dating…until you convinced her that we shouldn’t,” he said sarcastically.
“How did her death make you feel?”
“I just told you. I didn’t feel anything.”
“But why not?”
“Why should I?”
“They said that it was her fault, but I don’t believe it.”
“People and papers lie. They can’t be trusted.”
“Yeah, I remember you saying that. So, that brings me to my next question. Did you do it?”
Maybe I was out of place, but I just had to ask.
“Did I do what?”
