by Rachel Hanna
But it was her own fault. She knew in her heart that she shouldn't have kept the secret, but she felt like she had been put in an impossible situation. At least now everything was out in the open.
She stood up and pulled her only suitcase out of the closet. As she started packing everything, she thought about where she would go. She didn't have much money yet from her business, so she would have to stay in a room or maybe a cheap hotel until she could figure out her next move. She'd have to stay local, which would mean she and Julie would run into each other all the time. But there was no way she was giving up her brand new business and relationship with William.
Of course, William had offered to let her come stay with him, but she didn't feel right doing that. Their relationship was new, and she didn't want to take things to that level just yet.
She folded her clothes neatly, placing them in the suitcase. She walked over to the bathroom to get some of her toiletries and found Julie standing in the hallway outside of her door.
"Oh. I didn't know you were home. I'm just finishing my packing." Without saying another word, she turned around and walked back into her bedroom. Julie followed her and shut the door. She just stood there, without any words.
"You don't have to leave."
"Apparently, I do," Janine said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Julie crossed her arms.
"It turns out that maybe I overreacted."
"Really? That almost never happens.“
"Look, Janine, I don't want to lose our relationship over this. We know how this happened before, and we almost lost each other forever. You're my sister. And I love you."
"I love you too," Janine said, a tear falling from her eye. "And I'm so sorry that I kept a secret from you."
Julie walked closer as Janine stood. They hugged each other for a long moment.
"I just got upset, and I said some things I shouldn't have."
"No, I deserved it.”
Julie smiled. "Where did you think you were going, anyway?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I thought about a hotel, but there was a good chance I was gonna sleep in the treehouse Dawson has on his uncle's property."
The two women laughed. Janine was so happy that she didn't have to leave, and that Julie had forgiven her. That showed real growth in their relationship.
"So, how did the doctor appointment go?"
They both sat down on the end of the bed. "It went well. It's just so hard imagining that my daughter may give her baby away. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of some other woman getting to be the grandmother."
"Don't lose hope. I think she's just going through a swirl of emotions, and she might surprise you in the end."
"I hope so. She had dinner with Christian tonight, but I don't know how that went. I think she's already asleep in her room."
"We have a lot more time before this baby is going to be born. We just have to show her what a wonderful, supportive family she has. She's not some teenage girl alone. She needs to know we have her back,” Janine said.
"You're right. We just have to make her see that she can do this and that we will help her because we’re family.”
"Enjoy your book," Julie said as she rang up a customer. The woman had purchased an organic gardening book, saying she was going to plant her own garden and learn how to compost. Julie thought about how it must be nice to have such simple things to think about because these days every one of her thoughts seemed way too complicated.
As the woman walked out of the store, Dawson walked in. No one else was there, Dixie having gone to one of her Parkinson's therapy sessions. Feeling a bit like a cornered rat, Julie tried to act normal.
"Hello, stranger," he said with a smile.
"Hey. How's everything going?" She really didn't know what to say, and for some reason the whole thing felt very uncomfortable.
Julie had spent a lot of time thinking over the last couple of days about whether they were even dating or not. To be grownups, neither of them were very good at this whole relationship thing.
"I figured if I wanted to see you, I’d better just show up at your work. You seem to be really hard to get on text or phone lately," he said.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I've just been really wrapped up in this whole thing with Meg. Did you need something?"
He furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head. "Yeah, I need you."
She wasn't getting reeled in. No way, no how. He had no idea she had seen him with Tiffany, and she preferred to keep it that way. She wasn't about to make herself look like some sort of desperate, jealous woman – even if that's what she was right now.
Every time she thought about the moment she saw him with Tiffany, it made her think of Michael. She knew it wasn't fair to compare Dawson to her ex-husband, but it was hard not to do that. After all, it’d been less than a year since Michael had ripped her heart to shreds, and now she was faced with going through the same thing again? No, thank you.
"That's a sweet thing to say," she said, smiling slightly.
"Is something wrong?"
"No. I've been meaning to talk to you, though." Julie pointed at the chair at the bistro table as she took a seat across from him. She was going to have to just rip off the bandage.
"This sounds ominous.”
"I just wanted to let you know that I think we might need to take a break. " She cleared her throat and tried to avoid eye contact. She was afraid if she looked at his dimples, she might just lose all of her strength.
"A break? What do you mean?"
"Well, there's just a lot going on in my family right now, and I don't think I have time to devote to a relationship. I mean… if that's what this is," she said pointing back-and-forth between the two of them.
Dawson looked at her quizzically. "Did I do something wrong?"
She laughed it off. "No, of course not. It's just that I'm exhausted between work and dealing with this whole thing with Meg.
"I guess I just thought I could be helpful to you going through all of this. I didn't expect that you would want to take time apart." He looked truly upset, which made Julie feel bad except that she knew that he had been spending time with Tiffany. He had obviously been keeping it from her, and even though she wanted to keep seeing him, she didn't want to go through that kind of hurt all over again. She didn’t want to be anyone’s second choice, back up girlfriend.
With Michael, it had been devastating because it came out of left field. They had spent over two decades together. She figured, even though she had strong feelings for Dawson, it couldn't possibly hurt as much if she broke things off early in the relationship.
"We're still friends, Dawson. I just don't have the mental space right now to be committing to much more than that. My daughter needs me."
“Why do I get the feeling something else is going on?”
“I don’t know. I’m being perfectly honest with you.”
“It doesn’t seem like you are. I just don’t get it. We were enjoying our time together, and I thought things were heading in a certain direction…”
“Things have changed, Dawson. My whole life is in flux right now. I don’t even know if Meg is keeping my grandchild, for goodness sakes. It’s a lot to deal with.”
“I want to be there for you,” he said, softly. Her heart was breaking.
“Then be there as my friend.” She wanted to throw up. That wasn’t what she wanted at all, but pride is a strong thing.
He sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out. "Got it,” he said, standing up. “If you need me, you know where to find me.”
She almost wanted to run after him for some inexplicable reason. But at the same time, she knew she was right. He was hiding his secret relationship with Tiffany from her. He was obviously sneaking around behind her back, so why should she be the one feeling bad?
Maybe she should've confronted him, made him feel horrible for stringing her along while chasing after Tiffany. But she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he
had upset her. Never again was she going to allow a man to have that kind of power over her.
She walked to the window and watched him as he disappeared around the corner and out of sight. Although it hurt, it couldn’t possibly hurt as much as waiting even another day to break things off. So why did she feel so incredibly bad?
Meg stood outside of the ice cream shop, a cone with two scoops of chocolate teetering in her hand. She just couldn't help herself lately. The cravings had become too much.
Over the last week, she’d found herself craving pickles with peanut butter, chicken noodle soup, crackers with spray cheese and a whole host of other non-delectable items she wasn't expecting. This was a far cry from the beautiful, rich foods she’d enjoyed in France. What she wouldn’t give for a big baguette and a hunk of cheese right now.
She’d agreed to meet Christian and spend some time together. If she was being honest with herself, she was looking forward to it. She missed him and all of the time they had spent together back in Europe.
But now she had to be practical. She knew his main focus would be to get her to keep the baby, and she still hadn't made up her mind. Of course, she knew he had the right to an opinion about the baby’s future also. They would have to agree, and she wasn’t sure that was even possible.
There were times that she laid in bed at night and tried to imagine being a mother. Taking her child to the playground. Rocking her baby to sleep. Doing all of those fun things that new moms get to do like making bottles and changing diapers and cleaning spit up off of their shoulders. Well, maybe not fun but certainly memorable.
She hadn’t even really done a lot of babysitting as a teenager. Her experience with a child was pretty much next to zero, yet she felt an attachment that grew every single day. Every little flutter and kick, and probably even gas bubbles, meant the world to her.
When she found herself thinking about handing her baby over, it made her heart hurt. She couldn't imagine doing it, yet she knew she had to consider it. It felt like the mature thing to do.
Never could she have imagined that she would be in this predicament. She had always been so safety conscious about everything in her life, and yet she had been so careless about her birth control pills.
Still, it didn't feel like a mistake. This was a human being, a gift from God, a sweet little life that was depending on her. And right now, it desperately wanted chocolate ice cream.
"Sorry I'm late," Christian said as he walked around the corner. He looked flustered but excited about something. Probably because he was getting a chance to see her and the baby.
"No problem. This ice cream cone has been keeping me busy," Meg said, smiling. It was nice to feel normal for a change. Now that her secret was out in the open, it made it a lot more comfortable to walk around in the world. That and the fact that her mother had bought her some maternity clothes, so now she was starting to get looks and comments from strangers on the street. Any day now, she knew she would have people asking when she was due.
"I had a meeting that ran long."
They started to walk down the sidewalk toward the bistro where they were going to have an early dinner together.
"A meeting? You don't even know anyone in town."
Christian smiled broadly. "I do now."
"What's going on? You’re acting awfully strange."
"Well, I have some big news. I've spent the last week talking to some colleagues over at the local university. And they have offered me a position teaching French history. I can start next semester!"
Meg stopped and looked at him, her eyes wide. "What? Why on earth would you do something like that?"
"Because I want to be here. Surely, that doesn't surprise you."
"But you could've talked to me about it! Christian, I haven't made any decisions yet. And I know you're telling me that you're moving here for me and the baby, but…"
"No. I'm moving here for you, and you only. While I hope that we get to keep the baby, I will be here for you no matter what."
Her heart, which lately had felt like a big block of ice, started to melt a bit. Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really would've followed her no matter what.
"And what happens if I decide to go through with the adoption?"
"I'll be heartbroken. I can guarantee you that I'll cry for a long time. But I will love you through it, and I will stand by you. No matter what."
Yep, now her heart really was melting. Was this guy for real? She knew how wonderful he was back in Europe, but this just took it to a whole new level. And now she had more questions swirling around in her brain than ever.
Colleen walked down the path to the beach, her heart fluttering a bit. When Tucker had asked her out for an official date, she had assumed they would go to a restaurant. Instead, he had asked her to meet him on the beach, in the same place where he had nearly scared her half to death that night.
The sun was just going down, leaving streaks of orange and pink across the sky. She loved the smell of the ocean, the salty sea air blowing on her face as she made her way down onto the beach.
When she came over the crest of one of the dunes, she saw a huge blanket spread out on the sand, an ice bucket with a bottle of wine, candles lit all around and a smiling Tucker standing there.
No one had ever done anything like that for her before. The most Peter had done was make reservations at the fanciest Italian restaurant in town. But Peter mostly did things for show, including having her on his arm.
"Wow. This is amazing!" A part of her was hesitant to get back into a relationship with someone so soon, but her grandmother had always said to strike while the iron was hot, and that was exactly what she was doing. Men like Tucker didn't come along every day. She had to at least try, didn’t she? After all, she was young and had her whole life in front of her.
"So you like it?" he asked, a smile on his face.
"Like it? I love it. This is amazing! How did you ever put this together so quickly?"
"Well, I had a good education from my mother. She taught me well when I was a kid how to treat a woman once I started dating. It also helped that my dad was always planning these super romantic dates for my mom. They have always been like two teenagers in love."
Colleen smiled. "We should all be so lucky."
"Truer words were never spoken. Please, have a seat.”
Colleen sat down on the blanket as Tucker joined her. There was a large picnic basket in the middle, complete with a blue and red plaid interior. She felt like she had landed right in the middle of a magazine shoot.
"I hope you like the food I picked. I got it catered by the bistro because I know you love it there."
He pulled out several containers. One was her favorite apple walnut chicken salad, and then there was fresh bread. He also had potato salad and baked beans, a Southern staple. For dessert, he had peach cobbler, which was one of Colleen's favorite things on earth.
"You've really outdone yourself," she said, smiling. She felt like a giddy schoolgirl on her first date. Although her first date had not been nearly as romantic. Leo Holmstead had taken her to the local burger joint and then to a dollar movie. Not exactly the kind of date that sweeps a girl off her feet.
"You deserve it. I know you've been really stressed out about work and this situation with your sister. It was the least I could do."
"Well, it's much appreciated. I have to admit, I have felt a little left behind in my family lately. Aunt Janine is busy with her new business, my Mom is focused on my sister and my sister is growing a human being, so I don't really have a lot of interesting things to say at the dinner table."
He looked at her, a quirk of a smile on his face. "I'm always interested in you."
Colleen’s stomach did a flip flop. She couldn't remember a man ever saying something like that to her, and she felt like she wanted to giggle. Probably not the best thing for a woman in her twenties to do on a date, so she refrained.
"So, how's everything going at work in the toy zone?
”she said with a laugh.
"Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you." He turned to his side and reached down into a dark colored tote bag. He pulled out a stuffed bear, probably more plush than any stuffed animal she'd ever seen. It had a big pink bow and huge, adorable eyes.
"For me?"
"Of course. It's a new design we've been working on, so this is the only prototype. One of a kind."
"But it's just a stuffed animal? I thought you made toys?"
He smiled. “Press its stomach."
When she pressed it, the bear started wiggling and stretching in her hands, laughing hysterically. Colleen was startled and dropped it. "Oh my gosh, that scared me to death!" she said, laughing.
"Yeah, I thought it might startle you," he said, grinning. "I just figured since you've been going through so much lately with your family, maybe this little bear could remind you to laugh through the tough times.”
She looked at him, her head cocked to the side. "I don't understand."
"You don't understand what?"
"They just don't make guys like you."
"Guys like me? What does that mean?"
"You're too good to be true. And that’s a little terrifying for me."
“Well, I think the same thing about you. So why don't we just decide to be terrified together?"
Chapter 10
As the weeks passed by, Janine was enjoying seeing Meg get bigger and bigger. She still hadn't told anyone what her plans were as far as the adoption, but Julie and Janine were both encouraged that she was spending so much more time with Christian.
He actually seemed to be a really nice guy. The more time they spent around him, the less they noticed any kind of age difference. He was kind, caring and watched over Meg in a way that warmed Janine's heart.
She remembered her first boyfriend, at least her first serious one, back when she was in high school. What she had mistaken for caring turned out to be controlling, and she counted herself lucky having gotten away from him. Last she heard, he’d been arrested a couple of times for domestic violence. Dodged that bullet.
