They were the more common breed of college student – the type that’d rather just ignore the impending financial servitude they were about to enter in to and the copious amounts of debt they’d be paying off for the rest of their lives. That was a future Kate problem. It was probably one of the reasons she drank, now that she thought about it. And, in all honesty, it would probably explained the crippling anxiety she had developed at the prospect of leaving college.
She was early. That was not unexpected. But she rather wished they would just pitch already. Being alone – alone with her thoughts – was maddening. So, instead of just waiting and wasting the morning away Kate did the next best thing. She people watched.
There were two men who looked rather like unattractive vampires that had just crawled out of a basement somewhere and had not seen or heard of a shower in their lifetime. They were Kate’s people – computer nerds. They probably hadn’t slept either, thought Kate. Though, in her defense she was hiding her fatigue better. She hadn’t developed the energy drink jitters yet, or the twitching vein in the forehead that was the result of debugging code that still, after hours of effort, wouldn’t work. They were dressed in hoodies – which was typical and seemed to be arguing about the best anime. There were even tiers, from what Kate could gather. Not that she knew much about anime. But apparently, there was a “God Tier”, which sounded promising.
In the table at the corner sat a group of students. Older students. Probably postgraduate students. It’d explain the nervous disposition and buttoned up look they all had. Art student’s probably. They didn’t try hard enough to look “cool” to be business students, and well, engineering and computer science students couldn’t even try, nor did they carry themselves with the certainty of employment after graduation, so any sort of medical science could be discounted. No, they were art students but the particular subcategory that had their hopes pinned in academia. But don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by their nonthreatening appearances – they were the most cut throat of the lot. They had to be. There were probably only three positions to fill after they graduated.
‘Staring is creepy, don’t you know that?’
‘How kind of both of you to join me.’
‘Sarcasm this early in the morning? What a treat.’ Jenny poked Iuan in the chest. ‘I told you we shouldn’t bother her in the morning. She’s grouchy. It’s no used talking to her till she—’
‘Wait. What the—’
‘Is that a—’
‘Iuan, my dear, I believe it is. Kate you sly dog, someone had a good night.’ Jenny gasped for good measure. She pulled out chair and sat with purpose. ‘Tell me everything.’
‘Wait a second,’ Kate narrowed her eyes and squinted, and not just because of the early morning light. ‘What did you do to your hair, Iuan?’
‘I bleached it and cut it and then died it. I wanted to try something new.’ He smiled roguishly and ran a had over the blue buzz cut. ‘Orders?’
The two girls looked at him expectantly.
‘Right, the usual then. I’ll be back.’
‘So…’
‘I hate you both.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I need new friends.’
‘Beggars can’t be choosers.’ Jenny wagged a finger at Kate. ‘Was it fun at least? Do we know them? Is it scandalous? Is there going to be drama? Pleas, please, please, tell me there’s going to be drama. Gay drama, preferably. It’s the best.’
Kate rubbed at her eyes. Frowned. And tried not to let her worry show.
‘It was a girl!’
Perceptive. Too perceptive. How could she possibly know that? ‘Why do you say that?’
‘Only girls get you this … you.’
And what did that even mean? Kate stared ahead at where Iuan was. The line was slow moving. Far too slow. ‘Well, that’s just brilliant.’
‘Answer. The. Question.’
Kate sighed. ‘It’s Emily.’
‘You’re tragic, you know that, right?’
‘A pillar of friendly support, aren’t you? Also, what made him do that to his hair?’ Kate stared at Iuan. She couldn’t miss him. He looked like a walking traffic light.
‘He wanted to change his imagine. Wanted to reinvent himself and college is as good a place as any to do.’
‘You’re not wrong.’
‘How do you think it looks?’
‘Good. Not bad, I’m the worst person to ask. Did you do it for him?’
‘Right, you only care about Emily’s pretty hair. And, yes, of course I did it. I was not letting that boy bleach his own hair. He’d … I don’t even want to imagine what he’d do if left to his own devices. It’d probably just be slightly better than whatever it you’d do if left on your own.’
‘What did I miss?’
‘Nothing. I like your hair. It suits you.’
‘What did I miss, Jenny?’
‘Kate’s gone and outdone herself.’ Jenny smiled over the rim of her cup. ‘ look at her neck.’
‘Couldn’t miss it.’ Her peered down at her and looked at the blotchy marks on her. ‘Though I didn’t think it was that bad.’
‘Art students,’ muttered Kate to herself, very aware of the state of her neck. ‘Take a photo why don’t you?’
‘That’s not a bad idea—’
Kate’s eyes flashed. ‘I will murder you.’
‘Why is it always violence with you? It’s not an attractive quality, Kate.’
‘I am going to—’
‘Context. Please.’ Iuan leaned forward, resting his head in on hand. ‘Before we get to murdering each other.’
‘Kate and Emily …’
Iuan shrugged. Waved a hand dismissively and picked at his shirt. ‘Not entirely unexpected, thought, was it?’
Kate spluttered. ‘It was, unexpected, thanks. To me it was.’
‘Kate, honey, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are utterly, and I mean utterly, oblivious. Like, criminally. You wouldn’t know if someone was into you even if they proposed.’
‘I’m not that bad—’
‘You are. It’s truly spectacular.’
‘Jenny nodded. ‘It’s astonishing. Like sometime we worry. Every time we think you can’t get any worse you go and prove us wrong. We were thinking you might be in need of an intervention if it got any worse.’
Kate couldn’t believe. This is why she thought were overrated. ‘Okay, cool. So, I feel ganged up on.’
Iuan held up his hands. His voice was irritatingly calm.‘Don’t. We’re just being honest.’
‘How was it?’ Jenny’s eyes sparkled mischievously. Her grin so wide the cup couldn’t hide it anymore. She looked positively giddy.
‘I’m not telling you that. God, Jenny.’
‘Was it good?’ Jenny looked at Iuan then. ‘It had to have been good. She wouldn’t be this flustered if it wasn’t good.’
Kate sighed. Honesty it was then. Jenny was like a dog with a bone. She wasn’t going to let her get away with not answering. ‘It was brilliant. But the morning after could’ve done with some improvement.’
‘Did you do the walk of shame here?’ Jenny peered at her neck pointedly. ‘You didn’t have time to cover those up. And yes, you two, I know the walk of shame is just a patriarchal construct used to shame us and keep us from expressing our sexuality. Don’t get on my back about it. I swear, the two of you take one gender studies elective and suddenly your experts.’
Iuan looked her up and down. Took in the state of her. And came to a conclusion that he very clearly did not approve of. ‘Please tell me you’ve showered.’
‘I have.’ She sipped at her drink. Stared into the dark brown liquid. There was no more foam on top. She should’ve added sugar. ‘At hers.’
‘Why are you when you could be cozied up with Emily?’
‘Her parents arrived,’ Kate shook her head despondently, ‘with her ex in tow.’
‘Ouch.’ Iuan’s interest was poorly hidden. ‘Why was
she with them?’
‘God, I know.’ Kate’s coffee tasted bitter. ‘I didn’t stay around and ask. It was very apparent I had already overstayed my welcome.’
‘So, you what, just up and left?’
‘I may have.’ And that wasn’t her best move, she now realized.
Jenny looked at her like she was an alien. Like she had lost it. ‘Please tell me you at least said goodbye.’
‘I—can I lie?’ And Kate’s hand was back in her hair, fingers running nervously through the disheveled short locks.
‘Oh, god, you’re bloody unbelievable. Did you send her a text at least?’
‘I was a little distracted.’ She really had been.
‘Classy. What is that girl going to think when she wakes up?’
‘Poor form Kate.’ His voice reminded her of her mother’s.
‘Ugh,’ groaned Kate, head in her hands. They really were good at this double team thing. She had the sneaking suspicion they practiced when she wasn’t around. It was normal for two people to be so in tune with one another.
‘Just drink your coffee,’ said Jenny. She patted Kate on the shoulder. And looked at her friend with both pity and exasperation.
#
She didn’t text Emily immediately when she arrived home. Didn’t want to make a fool of herself. So she waited. Just a day or two. Nothing major. Just enough time for Kate to figure out her game plan. And the game plan that she’d concocted after those two days? It was hardly genius. She was going to wing it.
That, in hindsight, was a mistake. When Kate finally gathered up the courage to text Emily she hadn’t sent anything effusive. She’d settled on the tried and prove text, the simple, ‘Hey.’
No response. None. Emily hadn’t even left her on read.
No biggie. That didn’t bother Kate. She’d try again later.
Kate did try again three days later. No response. Which was weird but maybe Emily just wasn’t good at responding to texts. That wouldn’t be too strange. Jenny certainly wasn’t.
Kate tried again. Still nothing. She would’ve asked Bryan if Emily was mad at her. But he definitely was mad at her and probably wouldn’t tell her if she asked. So that plan was useless.
And now Kate was bothered. Three texts with no repose? That meant one thing and one thing only. She’d been ghosted. And damn if that didn’t leave her reeling for days.
Eleven
It’s a Small World Part Two
She saw her again. Kate had thought running into Emily had been bad when she was just infatuated with her. When she couldn’t stop thinking about her, and the other girl was everywhere. She ran into her every time she went to class, or the library of to get coffee with Iuan and Jenny. She had thought it couldn’t get worse.
But that was before she’d had heart heart shattered into tiny little pieces.
If Kate saw Emily everywhere before it was on steroids now. She didn’t just see Emily on campus anymore. Now, instead, she saw her at the grocery store, the gas station, restaurants that she’d never seen her at before and, currently, for the first time ever, at the mall, shopping for clothes.
But she wasn’t alone. Sarah was with her. Because of course she was. Kate could compete with Bryan. They were on even enough footing. But Sarah was on another level entirely. A first love left scars and feelings and mess and hope. She couldn’t compete with that – with her. Sarah had her beat. She was just Kate. And she wanted to get out there before the other two spotted her.
But Kate wasn’t alone either. It would’ve been so much easier if she were. Kate kicked herself in that moment for letting Jenny drag her shopping. She’d have to be clever about her escape. A clever coward, that’s what she was.
Kate looked over at Sarah and Emily to make sure they hadn’t seen her. And they hadn’t. The two were looking at shirts a few racks over. But just to be on the safe side Kate tried to slouch and make herself as small as possible. She hoped it worked. She hoped she didn’t look suspicious or like she was trying to shop lift, that was the opposite of what she was going for.
She tapped Jenny on the shoulder. Jenny looked up at her from where she was sat on couch-type seat trying on pair of heeled boots, the sort one wore on a night out.
‘What?’ Jenny looked at her confusedly. But then, as she admired the boot, jumped to a more than reasonable conclusion given that she’d gone shopping with Kate before. ‘I swear if you are going to whine about how long we’ve been here one more time I’m going to leave your ass here and you can bus home. You’re worse than a toddler, Kate.’
Kate looked over her shoulder again afraid that Jenny’s snarky, if exasperated, outburst had drawn Emily’s attention. It hadn’t. She was in the clear, still, for the time being. But she needed to get out quick because Lady Luck seemed to be particularity perverse joy in screwing with Kate and proving to her, just when she thought her luck couldn’t get worse, that she very much mistaken. Things could always get worse. And they were about to.
‘It’s just,’ Kate scrambled for an out, anything that wasn’t the real reason she wanted to make a run for it, ‘I saw a really cool looking place that sells ice tea just around the corner. Figured, erm, maybe, you’d want some time to think before you purchase those shoes.’ She pointed at the boots and hoped her lie was more convincing she thought because if it wasn’t Jenny was going to see straight through her and any hope Kate had of a quick escape would be dashed. ‘You know mull it over. It’s an important decision, life or death really, if those heels are too pointed. Besides,’ Kate was really scraping the bottom of the barrel, ‘I’ll pay! It’ll be my treat. A thank you, for getting me out of my room.’
Jenny didn’t say anything for a while. She took off the boot, gave it a quick once over one more time, and put it in the shoe box that rested near her feet. She turned and stared at Kate with narrowed suspicious eyes. ‘What are you up to? What are you not telling me? You don’t pay for shit. Not willingly.’
‘That is not my fault,’ whispered Kate harshly, ‘you know I’m broke. And besides, maybe I just want to get ice tea with my friend? When did that suddenly become a crime?’
So maybe keeping Jenny in the dark had been a pipe dream. One heck of a pipe dream. But at least she tried.
‘I don’t like ice tea,’ said Jenny. ‘But I’d settled for a milkshake … and the truth. Or I can keep sitting here, trying on nice shoes, and you can keep pretending that I can’t see you sweating bullets like a first time shoplifter. Oh, and if you are going to steal anything can you grab some of the moisturizer on the rack at the entrance, that stuff is expensive.’
Kate turned, ready to abandon ship. Sarah and Emily were nowhere to be seen. She’d go to the ice tea place alone. Jenny wouldn’t really care. She wouldn’t really leave her. At least Kate hoped she wouldn’t, she was eighty percent certain Jenny wouldn’t, and Kate liked those odds. She had certainly faced worse.
She didn’t make it five feet before her luck ran out. Who would’ve thought that even if you couldn’t see someone that didn’t mean they couldn’t see you? Not that it mattered much. Another small flaw with her plan was that if you don’t look ahead of you, and were constantly checking behind you where you last saw the people you wanted to avoid, that didn’t mean they couldn’t have moved. And with Kate’s luck, or lack thereof, being what it was, the people she wanted to avoid were admiring the sunglasses at the front of the shop.
Kate ran straight into Sarah and nearly bulldozed her over.
Kate grimaced. She pulled herself together as quick as she could but made no effort to hide her displeasure at seeing Sarah. She looked for an escape. She couldn’t sidestep Sarah. Could she? No. There was nowhere to go. It was either face Sarah or retreat and go back to Jenny. But how would that look? Weird, for one.
She was trapped.
Sarah didn’t seem any happier than Kate. She smiled meanly but didn’t say anything. It was a stand off. Neither wanted to be the first to break.
But someone had to. And it w
as Kate. But she wouldn’t let Sarah have the win completely. She smiled and pretend to think for a minute as if she couldn’t remember Sarah’s name. ‘Sarah, right?’
‘Right.’ Sarah wasn’t fooled, Kate could tell. She looked unimpressed. ‘Kate?’
So two could play that game. What a good start, thought Kate. They were right back where they started – at a stand off. ‘That’s me, yeah. Small world, isn’t it?’
‘Too small.’ Sarah put the glasses she’d been admiring back where they belonged. ‘See anything you like?’
‘Nope. She didn’t. But I did.’ Jenny. Kate had never been happier to hear that voice. She really was going to have to buy her that milkshake. ‘And I’m not just talking about these gorgeous boots.’
Kate cringed. Oh god. Jenny was flirting with Sarah. That was a new low. She hoped the earth would swallow her where she stood. Anything had to be better than this.
‘We should really get going,’ said Kate desperately hoping Jenny would catch the hint.
‘Always in such a rush, this one.’ Jenny batted her eyelashes at Sarah and smiled sweetly. ‘We’ve got nowhere to be. Besides you’ve not introduced me, Kate. How rude. Who is your friend?’
‘You won’t believe who I just saw. Sarah we need to,’ Emily snapped her mouth shut the moment she saw who it was Sarah was talking to. She looked forlorn. ‘Oh.’
‘Yeah, look who I ran into.’
Jenny was the only one who seemed comfortable. She seemed to be completely and utterly oblivious to the tense atmosphere. It was kind of scary, really. Just how unbothered she was.
‘So names are a thing of the past, are they?’
‘We don’t have time for that.’ Kate took Jenny by the hand. ‘So nice to see you both but I have a dentist appointment to get to. Can’t miss one of those. Cavities are the worst, you know?’
Emily’s smile was thin and fake. And Kate could swear she saw her face fall as they left. But she was probably imaging that.
#
‘Are you going to tell me what the heck that was about?’
Kate decided that no, she would not. ‘Nothing.’
More Than Friends Page 10
