by Vivian Wood
Poppy shook her head as she kicked off her ortho shoes in the changing room. Why had she waited so long to make herself feel like that?
“Oh my God, that was a bastard of a shift.” Penny slumped down next to her and kicked off her Danskos.
Poppy straightened her back, on high alert. She still felt weird about her last interaction with Penny.
“That Doctor Know-It-All seriously needs to lighten up,” Penny said and wiggled out of her scrubs. “As if these shifts aren’t beastly enough without her up in our face.”
She relaxed. It seemed like Penny wasn’t put off by their last conversation after all.
“How’s Will doing?” Penny asked as she pulled on jeans. “When’s he coming back?”
“Friday or Saturday, just a couple more days,” Poppy told her with a smile.
“Yeah? You must be excited. And how are things with Ryan?” Penny didn’t look at her, but pulled a threadbare T-shirt over her head. “Is he still trying to mack on you?”
“No!” Poppy said. Even she was aware of how defensive she sounded. “We’re just friends—”
“Relax, I’m just playing,” Penny said.
Nobody could ever know what had happened between her and Ryan. Especially someone who knew Will. Those lines they'd crossed, the line she'd almost thrown herself across, those had to be their secret for good.
“It’s not funny,” she told Penny curtly, and pulled on a flowy skirt.
“Sorry,” Penny said. Poppy shrugged. “No, for real. I didn’t know you were actually mad about it.”
“I’m not mad,” Poppy said. “It’s just annoying. And if people overhear, it might give them the wrong idea.”
“I get it,” Penny said. “I’ll stop. Hey, how about I buy you a drink to make up for it?”
“I’m really tired—”
“We’re all really tired.” Penny cut her off. “Come on, you can’t spend your whole life just working and sitting at home. Have some fun! You only have a few more days before your man’s back.”
“Seriously Penny, I just wanna go home and—”
“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Penny said. “Just one drink. C’mon, it’ll be like going to the bar in Grey’s Anatomy. You can be Meredith.”
“Meredith? Seriously? You do know how that storyline ends, right?”
“Fine, do you want to be Christina?”
Poppy sighed. “Alright. I’ll be Christina.”
“Well, then come on, Doctor Chang,” Penny said, and looped her elbow through hers.
“Hey! At least let me put a shirt on,” Poppy said.
“Picky, picky. Now we won’t get any free drinks.” Penny poked at Poppy’s breasts spilling out of her satin bra.
They headed across town separately, toward one of the few restaurant pubs that could draw a crowd on a Wednesday night. It was usually a date night spot, but happy hour ran late and they were both on intern salaries.
“There’s a spot at the bar,” Penny said, and pointed to two stools flanked by what seemed to be college boys on either side.
“You wanna share an appetizer?” Poppy asked her. “Flatbread?”
“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Penny replied as she surveyed the room. “This place is dead.”
As they sipped on watered-down cocktails and waited for their food, Poppy looked around the bar. It was mostly couples, and the occasional huddle of work crowds. Suddenly, she spotted a familiar pairing across the bar nestled in a booth. Ryan and Sarah were there. Their backs were to her, and Ryan played with Sarah’s hair.
Poppy instinctively ducked down a little. As she sized Penny up, she couldn’t tell if she’d seen them or not. “What are you doing?” Penny asked.
“Nothing,” she said. She forced herself to sit up straight. “Sorry.”
Penny gossiped about people at work and complained about their attending physicians. “I mean, she doesn’t even try to…”
Poppy completely tuned out and watched Ryan and Sarah from across the bar. Sarah nuzzled his neck and he bit her ear. Surges of jealousy flooded her system. “There’s a four-top over there if you want it,” the bartender said as he cut into her thoughts. “I can move your tab over there.”
“Let’s go,” Penny said. “These kids are annoying.”
“Okay, grandma,” one of the boys said to her.
From the table, she had a much better view of the couple. Poppy watched them in profile. They were right in her line of vision as she watched Penny’s mouth flap open and shut.
Sarah threw her head back and laughed, which made Poppy cringe. “Are you even listening to me? What are you—”
Penny moved to turn around, and Poppy gripped her thigh. “Don’t—”
“Oh. My. God,” Penny said, and whipped back to face Poppy with a maniacal grin. “It’s them!”
She wasn’t certain, but Penny seemed off. Phony. Was this a big performance she’d orchestrated?
“They seem to be getting along really well. Like, really well,” Penny said. “What are they doing now? I can’t see.”
“Nothing,” Poppy said. “Talking, laughing.” Why are you reporting to Penny?
She watched them kiss and saw a flicker of pink between their mouths. They made out in the middle of the restaurant. Ryan’s hand moved to Sarah’s breast, and she didn’t even act surprised. Were they sleeping together? Don’t be stupid, of course they are—they’ve been seeing each other awhile now.
“What about now?” Penny probed.
“Shh.”
“Tell me! I mean, my God, Sarah is super hot for him. Right?”
“Penny, please.”
She couldn’t tear her eyes away from them in the booth. And was Sarah… Poppy couldn’t believe it. Sarah’s hand moved from Ryan’s chest, down his stomach and to the bulge of his jeans. It was difficult to see in the darkness below the table, but it looked like Sarah was starting to unzip him. She’s going to give him a handjob right here. Right now. I’m going to watch him get off in Sarah’s hand.
“You have to tell me, I’m dying over here,” Penny said. “Can I turn around? Or—”
The excitement in Penny’s eyes was unmistakable. She'd known Sarah and Ryan would be here. Poppy didn’t know how, but somehow Penny knew. That realization broke the spell cast over her.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing,” Poppy said as she stood up with determination. “But I think it’s cruel. Childish, and cruel.”
“What are you talking about?” Penny asked with a sniff. “You’re acting crazy.”
“Apps are here,” announced the cheery waitress as she arrived and slid the hot platter onto the table.
“She’s paying,” Poppy said. Penny’s mouth dropped open.
“Seriously, you’re going to ditch me here with the bill and a bunch of food that you ordered?” Penny asked. The waitress’ eyes widened and she scuttled away.
“Yep,” Poppy said. She turned on her heels and made a beeline for the door.
“You’re a fucking bitch, you know that, right?” Penny called after her, but she didn’t care.
In her car, she struggled to keep the tears at bay. She didn’t know if it was seeing Ryan and Sarah or what. Maybe it was Penny. But none of them really owed her anything, so she didn’t know why she was so emotional.
Ryan was just moving on like she told him to. Sarah was just being herself. And Penny—well, she was always strange.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked her reflection. Some of the tears had escaped down her cheeks and took what was left of her mascara with them.
Maybe Penny was sort of right. Maybe she was acting crazy. What did it matter to her if Ryan got a handjob in a restaurant? She shouldn’t care if Sarah gave him a blowjob or just rode him wild in plain sight.
Maybe she'd imagined the whole Penny thing, too. Sure, she could have known that Ryan and Sarah were at the restaurant. Maybe they'd checked in there or something. But there was no way she could have known they’d be going
at it like rabbits.
As Poppy angled toward home, tears stayed on the brim of her eyelids.
When Will gets back, it will be okay. It will all be okay. Everything will go back to normal.
21
Ryan
“So? What do you think?” Li asked Ryan as they finished processing an Aston Martin Vulcan.
“Can’t complain,” Ryan said. “I was never really into cars, but I have to admit these things are incredible.”
“Sweeter than Mia Khalifa’s ass, wouldn’t you say?” Li winked at him.
“I have no idea who that is.”
“You’re a better man than me then.”
“But honestly Li, thanks for vouching for me. And you know, for hooking it up so I could train with you.”
“Not a problem, man,” Li said. “I’d take you over some of these jackasses that come through here any day.”
Right as Ryan headed to the parking lot, he got a text from Mason. Want to tube the Shenandoah tomorrow? Ryan smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he'd hit the river.
Sure, time? he replied.
Early, 8, get a good spot.
Cool.
U got any friends to invite? Ryan knew what Mason wanted, but those days were over. The only women in his life weren’t Mason’s style.
Still, he shot a text to Sarah, who agreed right away. He knew she would, since she was good like that. Up for anything. Isn’t that what every guy wants? A cool girl who can hang with the guys?
His thumb hovered over Poppy’s number. Why not? He texted her the invite, but knew she wouldn’t answer. She’d been acting strange again, even though he thought the movie and pizza night—awkward as it had ended up being—had fixed things. He decided to call her as well, but she didn't pick up either.
“Poppy,” he said to her voicemail. “Either call me back, or you’ll find me on your steps again.” That threat didn’t work out as planned. It took him over an hour in rush hour traffic to get back to the neighborhood from his US Marshal post, and by then he was frustrated. Instead of taking his usual turn at the supermercado on the corner, he turned left toward Poppy’s place.
By some stroke of incredible luck, her car was parked out front.
“Open up!” Ryan called as he rang the doorbell. He tried to make his voice sound light and joking, but there was a seriousness to it below the surface.
Will opened the door, his mouth set in a hard straight line.
Ryan blinked. “Will. Sorry, man. I thought Poppy—I didn’t know you were back.”
Will looked at him strangely. “And you’re upset that I’m the one who answered the door?”
“No, man, no. You just surprised me is all.”
“Okay. So what’s up?” Will leaned against the doorframe and held the door with one hand. It was clear Ryan wasn’t welcome inside.
“Who is it?” He heard Poppy’s voice from the bedroom. She bounded toward the door. “Ryan!” She was stunning, wearing a fitted baby blue dress with a sheer overlay that nipped in at the waist before it blossomed out into a full, knee-length skirt. Poppy looked like a perfectly coiffed housewife from the fifties, but sexier. Hotter. The red lipstick and upswept hair didn’t hurt, either.
But it was strange. Shouldn’t they both be tumbled in bed together? Will must have just got back. They haven’t fooled around at all? The idea that all was proper and stoic between them made his heart jump—even though he had no way of knowing what was really going on between them.
“Hey, Pops.” Will raised a smug eyebrow at the pet name. “You weren’t answering your phone. So…”
Poppy wrinkled her nose. “I’ve been busy,” she said. “As you can see.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know.”
“I’m surprised Pops didn’t tell you I was coming back this morning,” Will said. “I thought you two talked about everything. Being besties and all.”
“Will,” Poppy said.
“I’m serious! Maybe Ryan could have helped you bake me a welcome home cake or something.” The feeble attempt to emasculate Ryan didn’t work, but it was more covert than Will’s usual approach.
“Good idea. I do love cake, man,” Ryan said.
“Will’s schedule was bumped around a lot,” Poppy said. She directed her words to Ryan, but it sounded like excuses for Will. “I didn’t know for sure when he was coming back ‘til recently.”
“Surprise!” Will said as he raised both brows.
“Yeah. Surprise,” Ryan said. “So, how’d it go? Los Angeles, I mean.”
“Good, real good,” Will said. “A lot of networking, made a lot of connections, so it was a good trip.” Ryan could see that California had indeed treated Will kindly. He had a hint of a tan and his hair had lightened a touch.
“Awesome, man. GFY.”
“GFY?” Will asked, his head cocked.
Go fuck yourself. “Good for you,” Ryan said slowly.
“Ah, good for you. You kids and your textspeak,” Will said. He was only a year younger than both Poppy and Ryan.
“Will got some amazing stuff done,” Poppy said, desperate to fill the awkward silence. “He met with, who was it? Diablo something—”
“Diablo Cody,” Will said, and rolled his eyes at Ryan. “I swear, I don’t know how she’s a doctor, she can’t remember a thing. And I didn’t meet with her, Poppy, it was a panel discussion. A small, private affair and only a few of us were invited, but still.”
“Right,” Poppy said.
“Diablo Cody, no shit,” Ryan said. Poppy shot him a look.
“So. Ryan. What brings you barreling to the door?” Will asked.
“Oh! I just wanted to see… Mason’s putting together a tubing thing tomorrow morning. Did you want to come?” He looked at Will. “Both of you, I mean.”
“Oh. I don’t know—” Poppy began.
“Why not, Pops?” Will interjected. “It’s one of the first times you’ve had a weekend off in a long time. Why shouldn’t we go?”
She gave Will a curious look. “You want to? I mean, I guess…”
“Great,” Will said. “Then it’s settled. You know what? Let’s invite Penny, too. That way it won’t be just a bunch of guys.”
“Sarah is coming, too—”
“Even better!” Will said. “I’ll message Penny and see if she’s free. Maybe we can pick her up?” It sounded like a question, but Ryan and Poppy both knew it wasn’t. Will walked away from the door and pulled his phone from his pocket.
A shadow fell over Poppy’s face, but she didn’t say anything.
“Are you cool with that? With all this… Penny coming and everything…”
“She’s fine. Right, Poppy?” Will asked from the couch. “Besides, I already messaged her and she’s in.”
“Yeah,” Poppy said. “Sure. It’s fine.”
“Come now, Poppy,” Will pretended to chide her. “You can’t have all the men to yourself.”
Poppy blushed.
“Damn, this is a work call. I need to take this,” Will said as his phone rang. He went into the bedroom and closed the door.
“Are you really okay?” Ryan said quietly to Poppy. He searched her eyes for a hint of what was wrong. He knew she and Penny had their ups and downs, and it would certainly be strange—to say the least—to see Will tubing. But Poppy had seemed more upset at the idea of Penny coming than Will.
She looked back at the bedroom door. “Of course,” she said. When she turned back to him, a smile was stretched across her face. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Before he could respond, she shut the door in his face.
What the hell is wrong with her? With both of them? They were both acting weird—even by Will’s standards.
As Ryan slipped into his car, a Snapchat from Sarah came through. Thoughts? she asked, and attached an image of her in a skimpy bikini. He had to smile. This better? she asked as another photo came through. She pretended her bikini top had fallen off and she covered her bare breasts with a mock
look of surprise on her face.
Careful, he replied. Tubing is serious business. Don’t want to give the guys more adrenaline than they’ll already have.
Then this one’s just for you, she replied. There wasn’t a trace of a swimsuit left in this one.
Ryan laughed as he drove home. Sarah had a way of lightening everything up, but the interaction with Poppy and Will still nagged at him. What was going on with those two?
When he got home, Sarah’s Snapchat messages had already disappeared. She pretended like she used the app just because it was fun and trendy, but he suspected she was savvier than she acted. Sarah protected herself, but in a quiet way few noticed.
Hey, he texted her. Send nudes. He smiled at their inside joke. When she’d told him “send nudes” was a popular opening line on dating apps, he hadn’t believed her. She'd had to show him old messages from her Tinder account.
She replied right away, but on Snapchat.
Text it to me, he said. He could have easily screenshotted it, but had learned quickly after Sarah installed the app on his phone that doing so notified the other person. Besides, it was just creepy.
Naughty boy! she replied. But there was no follow-up photo. They were both silent, a standoff. Wouldn’t you prefer the real thing? she finally asked. She wasn’t very patient. He always won these little games.
Always, he replied.
Want me to come... she asked. She waited a moment before following up with, over?
Ryan looked at the clock. It was getting late, and as much as the idea of a warm body sounded tempting, something stopped him.
You’ll wear me out for tubing tomorrow, he said. Need my beauty sleep.
I’ll skip mine if you skip yours.
You don’t need it, he said with a winky face, although he hated emoticons. Pick you up at 7:30 tomorrow.
Ugh, fine, you’re killing me, she said.
In just a few hours, he was going to witness the most bizarre tubing outing that ever existed. He was sure of it.
22
