by Saundra
I didn’t really have nothing to say to that, so I just didn’t. The last thing I needed a compliment on was me out in public actin’ like a hood rat. That was just not my style. “So you still got her staying with you?” I asked instead.
“Hell no, thank God. Her momma took her and her brother back. Don’t nobody want to deal with they ass. That’s why they grown ass still live at home wit’ they momma. Plus Buffy and her brother were the breadwinners at the crib. They momma don’t work or do shit. She needs them.”
“Hmm,” was my dry response. I was not surprised to hear any of that. That summed up a lot for me.
“So have you thought about my proposition?” For a minute I was not sure what she was talking about, then it hit me. It must have been written on my face. “You know, the salon. Remember, we talked about it.”
“Oh yes, that. I remember.” I really hadn’t thought about it much since I spoke with DaVon about it. ’Cause after talking to him my mind was made up.
“What’s up? You ain’t said nothing else about it. And I was tryin’ not to bug you about it.”
“Well, you know, it’s like I told you. I have a lot going on and right now I just can’t. I have too much on my plate.”
“It’s cool. I get it.” Her words said she understood but a hint of disappoint lined her lips. She smiled though.
“Hey, y’all,” Katrina said as she walked in. “Thanks for filling in for me, Precious.” Katrina came behind the counter and clocked in.
“No problem.”
“Aye, you want to grab some lunch and something to drink?” Keisha asked me.
“Sure. I could use a drink. It’s been a long week. You good, K? You need me to bring you something back?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m good. Trent comin’ through to bring me lunch.” Her new boyfriend was keeping a smile on her face as of late.
“Okay, call me if you need anything.” I made my way to the office to retrieve my purse.
* * *
Keisha and I hit up a bar and grill that was close by. We had lunch and got bent. I hadn’t planned on that. I was hoping to go home and get some studying done; instead I fell straight into bed, half drunk. I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep, but I was definitely knocked out. Nevertheless, the constant ringing of my doorbell unnerved me and I started to stir. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but my eyes popped open. Right away, my head started pounding. I slowly lifted my head and reached for my cell phone; the time read one o’clock pm the next day. I could not believe I had slept for so long. I turned to my right and realized DaVon was not in bed next to me. I yelled his name to ask him to get the door. But after six attempts with no response, I realized I had to get up. Whoever was ringing the doorbell clearly had a death wish, because I was annoyed to my limit. Sighing, I forced myself up on the side of the bed and dragged my body off of it. The pounding of my head sped up and became stronger as I made my way down the massive staircase. No longer annoyed, but now pissed off, I snatched the heavy doors open with as much force as they would allow, to find Clip standing in front of me.
Both my hands instantly went to my banging forehead. “Clip . . . why are you ringing this doorbell like you are high?” I tried to clear my dry throat. Before he could answer I turned around and yelled DaVon’s name again. I wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing, but it had better be good since I had to answer the door for his impatient-ass friend. On any other day, I liked Clip, but my headache was not feeling him.
Again, DaVon did not answer me. I slowly turned back to Clip. “DaVon is playing deaf for some reason. Come on in, Clip.” I stepped to the side so that he could enter, but Clip did not move. For the first time, I realized that he had not said one word since I opened the door, which was odd because normally he was hype.
“Precious.” For some reason my name sounded strange coming from his lips. It sounded different this time. I turned my left shoulder slightly and glanced behind me. Suddenly the silence inside was overwhelming. Turning back to face Clip, I looked past him before my eyes fell back on his. His mouth moved. “DaVon been killed.” The words slid from between his lips.
I was sure I had heard him right but he was wrong. “Boy, DaVon is upstairs.” I pointed behind me.
Clip fixed his eyes on the direction that I pointed toward, but confusion was all over his face. “Precious, DaVon was found shot in his car this morning. They pronounced him dead already. I went to the scene.”
I felt my legs go weak as they gave away under me. I hit the floor before Clip could catch me. Rushing to bend down, he lifted my weak body up, but I was lifeless as I stared off into the distance in a daze. This was a bad dream, and for the second time in my life it was imperative that someone woke me up. But instead, I lay paralyzed, with Clip mumbling words that made no sense.
“Precious, you have to go and identify his body. They asking for a family member or someone who resides with him.”
I tried to speak, but my lips could only tremble. I thought of my father and his spattered blood and I tried to fight and be strong. Shutting my eyes really tight, I balled my hands into fists and prayed for strength. I opened my mouth and took in a deep breath but my chest was heavy; it was useless. Clip called my name over and over until I opened my eyes.
“You can do this.” He looked at me with reassurance. But I didn’t feel reassured at all.
“Help me stand up,” I managed to say. Now on my feet, I couldn’t stop trembling, but I tried. With Clip’s help I somehow made it down to the morgue, walked inside, and identified another man that meant so much to me. DaVon.
Chapter 24
Two days passed me by and I did what I was best at: shut myself inside. I had cried so much, I had made myself sick. I was at my dad’s house because I could not bring myself to go home to DaVon’s house. I couldn’t face being around his things. Everything in that house breathed him, and I wasn’t strong enough. Most of all, I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me. Maybe I was cursed? Maybe I deserved to be alone? I wasn’t stupid. I knew the life DaVon lived was risky, but not this, not this way. Everyone had been trying to call me, but I was not answering. Keisha had left over twenty messages, but I had not called her back. Clip had also been blowing me up, but I just was not ready to speak to anyone.
The only thing that had saved me from them was that they didn’t know where I was hiding. I had left the vehicles at the house and had a private driver deliver me to my dad’s house. I was sure they had been out to DaVon’s house looking for me.
The knocking on the front door told me someone had finally found me. Reluctantly I went to the door, because the pace of the knocking told me they would not be going away. Once again, I opened the door to Clip.
“I been calling you, nonstop,” he said as if I didn’t know it. He had to have known I had caller ID and was purposely not answering.
“I’ve been gettin’ some much needed rest.” My eyes were swollen from all the crying I had done.
“Listen, I know this is hard, but you have to get this funeral planned. I need you to be strong. We are here for you . . . I promise you, when we get through this and I’ma take care of the motherfuckers who dared do this. And I think you know that I don’t give a fuck, mamma or grandmother, I don’t give a fuck. They gotta pay.”
I glared at him because I knew he meant it. And at the moment, I didn’t give a fuck or feel sorry for the perpetrator. Whoever had thought that it was okay to bring me life-long pain was evil. I wished it back to them tenfold and whoever in their life it affected.
More knocking on my front door interrupted us. This time, I opened the door to find Keisha standing on my porch. “Come on in,” I said before she could say anything. “Clip’s already here,” I added.
“I have left you like thirty messages, Precious,” Keisha complained as she followed me to the den, where Clip was waiting. “What’s up, Clip?” she said.
“Aye, Keisha,” he returned.
“So Clip is here so that I c
an start preparing for the funeral. I ain’t quite sure I’m ready, but . . .” My voice broke and I fought back the tears.
“I got you; I’ll help,” Keisha volunteered. I wanted to thank her but couldn’t find the words. But I knew she understood. “I know DaVon gone, but we yo’ family too, and we here for you, whatever you need.”
“No doubt,” Clip cosigned. “Whatever it is, you just say the word.”
I glared at both of them; the tears just rolled down my cheeks, but I wiped them away quickly. Now was not the time.
For the next couple of days, I put everything in motion, and true to her word, Keisha never left my side. The hardest part was taking the clothes to the funeral home for him to be dressed in. I wanted to make sure everything was as perfect as possible. I was paying top dollar, and I didn’t need any screwups. But I didn’t have to worry, the mortician had done an excellent job. There was not one blemish on his face.
The funeral had turned out okay. I passed out at the cemetery as they lowered the casket into the ground. I woke up ten minutes later in the funeral home limousine with Keisha fanning me. I told the driver to take me home to DaVon’s house; I felt the need to be close to him. Keisha rode with me and insisted she stay with me to make sure I was okay. But I refused. I was in no mood for company. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I kicked off my pumps no sooner than I hit the door. Dragging my feet, I headed into the den to the bar, reached under it and retrieved the Hennessy, then a glass. I poured myself a shot. Normally, I didn’t drink heavy brown stuff, but I had to have it. I was in the mood to be out of my mind for a minute.
To my surprise, a bottle of Excedrin headache pills were under the bar next to the Hennessy, and that was just what I need. I had a banging headache to die for, so an Excedrin would work miracles. I popped two of them into my mouth and swallowed the shot of Hennessy whole and fast, then poured up another one. Grabbing the bottle, I made my way over to the couch.
Thoughts of DaVon were all over me, his voice, his smile, his touch. Him, period. All the things about him that I would no longer enjoy and would miss dearly. No longer able to hold it in, I cried out his name, my gut filled with excruciating pain and there was no cure. Taking the top off the Hennessy, I took the biggest gulp my mouth could take. It burned my chest so badly I almost threw up and felt like my breath was cut off all at the same time. But I used all of my anger, hurt, and pain to fight it.
I woke up on the couch in the den later. Every muscle in my body ached beyond comprehension. The Hennessy bottle was half empty and my insides were screaming bloody murder. I attempted to sit up and the whole room swerved and my gut rose to my mouth. I don’t know where the sudden burst of strength came from, but I took off down the hallway to one of the many bathrooms in the house. This was the first time I was glad there were so many. Lifting the toilet seat, I spilled my guts over and over again until I was empty. Weak again, all the sudden energy drained, I lay out on the floor, unable to move. I woke up hours later, still on the floor.
The sleep must have done me some good because when I sat up this time, I didn’t throw up, but I was still very weak and my muscles were sore. Making my way back to the den, I noticed the sun was still shining outside. I wasn’t sure how long I had been asleep, but I knew by now it should have been dark out. Picking up my cell phone, I saw it was the same time I took my first shot of Hennessy the night before. I had slept a day away.
Forcing myself up the stairs, I pulled my clothes off in the middle of the bedroom floor and dragged myself into the shower. The warm water soothed me as I cried all over again. I let the warm water run down my face and wash my tears away. After drying off, I put on some comfortable pajamas, slid into some slippers and contemplated my next move. I decide to go downstairs and fix me some coffee. Just as I added the sugar and cream, the doorbell rang.
Sighing, I shut my eyes tight and rubbed my forehead. Company was not on my list. If I had to bet, I figured it was probably Keisha at the door. I had given Maria two weeks off when DaVon was killed, so she was not due back yet. At the funeral she was so distraught I worried about her even in the midst of my sorrow. But I was in no shape to comfort her then, the same way I was in no shape for company now. I just was not in the mood, but something told me they would not go away unless I answered.
“Penelope!” I opened the door and was in full shock. She was the last person on earth I would expect to see at the door. “What are you doing here in LA?” I asked.
“I had to come and give my condolences. Pablo wanted to make the trip, but he couldn’t. He sends his support though.” The look on her face was sincere.
“Hey, I understand . . . Come in,” I said.
“I was there yesterday for the service, but I sat in the back. I would have come by last night, but I had some business.”
“Thank you, Penelope, for even coming.” I shook my head with appreciation and again had to fight back the emotions. “I really appreciate you takin’ the time to even come.” I knew the kind of people Penelope and Pablo were, and they didn’t do things like this. DaVon must have meant something to them. But he had that effect on people.
“Aye, DaVon was like a kid brother to Pablo and me.”
I shook my head and tried to fight the strong shadow of depression that was hovering over me like a tree branch that kept growing and growing. “How about we go to the bar and I pour you up a drink?” I changed the subject before I fell over in a crying fit.
“I could use a drink.”
I led the way into the den, then excused myself while I went off to the kitchen to grab my coffee; the last thing I needed was another drink.
Penelope opted to have a shot of Don Julio. I noted that she was going hard, right off the grid. My head pounded just watching her drink.
“So how have you been holdin’ up?”
I looked at her and sucked back tears. I was so tired of crying, but I couldn’t help it. I wondered if I would ever stop, if the pain would ever subside or ease. “I’m cool.” My voice trembled a little. “Just still in shock you know . . . Shit came out of left field so, you know.” I wiped the one tear that escaped my eye, which was followed by another. I sniffed back the rest.
“Listen, it’s okay to cry. I know this probably sounds redundant because you hear it from everybody, but things will get better. Just take it one day at a time.”
“And that’s my plan. I’m just still processing it. But I’m good.” I tried my best to believe the words that came out of my mouth.
“So what are your plans now?”
I sighed, full of uncertainty. “I haven’t even thought that far yet . . . I might move back into my dad’s house though. I can’t stay here; it’s too many memories and this house is so big. I can’t be here alone.”
“This place is your home, you can’t just leave it. DaVon wouldn’t want that. You remember what I told you back in Miami?” I was sure a confused look was on my face. “DaVon had a legacy, and you were here for it.” I had to think for a minute. “Precious, you were DaVon’s right hand at all times. No situation trumps it. This house, his legacy, the things he stood for. The fruit of his labor.”
“I know, and I can feel it when I’m here. DaVon was not only my man but my best friend, and my family. The only family I had.”
“He loved you, Precious.” She said it as if to reassure me, then downed another shot. “I have to get back to Miami. But I want you to take some time out, open up to your grief and truly remember your man. And remember I’m here for you and so is Pablo . . . There is always the torch.”
Penelope was deep. She was good for conversation, but this time I was bit confused by some of her words of wisdom. I shrugged it off and showed her out. She said her plane was leaving in a few hours and she didn’t want to miss it. I had only met her the couple of times, but I would miss her. I knew she had extended her friendship to me, but with DaVon gone there was no reason for us to ever cross paths again. Especially with her living all the way in Miami. And wit
h the life her and Pablo led, they had no time for a person as simple as me.
Chapter 25
A week had passed. I was still at DaVon’s house and I had finally slept through a full night without waking up. And today I was hoping to sleep in just a little while longer. I had been sleep deprived for a while, so it was much needed. But somehow, when I saw Doug’s name light up on my cell phone, I knew that sleeping in was not going to be possible. Doug was DaVon’s lawyer and his name was saved in my phone because DaVon made sure that I kept him on speed dial. But the last thing I needed at the moment was for him to interrupt my sleep.
“Hello,” I breathed into the phone with an annoyed tone. I was not in the mood to be polite or nice.
“Precious”—he called me by my first name as if we are old friends—“this is Doug Bates. Remember DaVon introduced us a couple times?”
“Yep, what can I do for you, Doug?”
“Well, first I would like to give my condolences. DaVon was a great guy . . . I know this might not be a good time, and I hate to bother you, but I really need you to come down to my office.”
I had to fight to remain calm. He had already interrupted my sleep and now he wanted me to drive damn near an hour downtown to his office.
“Doug, can this wait?” I slowly pulled the covers back and sat halfway up.
“Listen, I promise this will not take long. Matter of fact, I’ll come out to the house. How about that?” I was surprised to hear that he was willing to drive out to the house. I started to question him further, but I didn’t feel like it.
Confused, I asked him what time, agreed to him coming, and hung up the phone. Still pissed that I had to leave the warm, cuddly bed, I kicked the covers back and lay in one spot and allowed the crisp, cold AC to force me awake. After taking a shower, I headed downstairs for something to drink. I was beyond thirsty. Opening the refrigerator door, I fished out the orange juice, reached into the cabinet and pulled out a glass, then poured myself a full cup.
