by K. Aten
Despite the fact that she was among friends who knew and supported her, Keller always found it difficult talking about her past. There was a gulf of experience that many just couldn’t bridge to be able to relate. But more than that, Keller had done many things over the past few hundred years that she regretted. She killed many men in her own personal quest for justice. Yes, they were abusive, some even being murders themselves, but they still deserved consideration by the law of more than just one. The world was a different place back then, and death was a common thing. Whether it was plague, war, childbirth, or the difficulties of life in general, people died often and died early. Her actions of retribution had no real impact on the world as a whole, but she still felt the weight of them. After hundreds of years, the stain remained on her soul.
No, she didn’t want that future for her lover. She gave Annie an answer that the younger woman would accept. “Maybe someday.” Annie nodded and Keller decided it was a good time to probe the younger Colby for a little information. “Has Sarah talked to you about her nightmares?”
The younger woman looked back at her in surprise. “She’s having nightmares again?”
Keller looked at her curiously. “Again?”
Annie nodded sadly. “She had them for years after our parents died. I think she was afraid for a long time after that. I don’t know if you’ve realized, but she likes to push all her emotions down where she doesn’t have to deal with them. She started it when Mom and Dad died, I think as a way to be able to cope and focus on me. The only way they seem to come out is when she’s writing music. As long as she’s writing, she’s okay.”
“She’s not.” Annie’s eyes widened. “She hasn’t created anything new since she finished the album. And she has nightmares almost every other night. It’s all I can do just to soothe her back to sleep when it happens. I’m starting to get worried, A.”
Annie looked down at her feet. “I feel like this is all my fault. She wouldn’t be so out of her mind if she weren’t so freaked out about my safety. I’m worried she’ll do something stupid.”
Keller sighed. “I am too.” With those words rolling off her tongue, Keller thought it was time to find her girlfriend. She looked around and saw Louve, Jesse, Raph and his sons all standing in a group. Sarah, Jill, and Alain were all missing. “I’m heading in to find Sarah. Stay close by Jesse and Louve.” When Keller walked into the farmhouse, she didn’t immediately see Sarah and Jill. Instead she came face to face with Alain. He gave her a benign smile that jangled her nerves. Something was off with him, but she didn’t have time to dive deeper into it. “Have you seen Sarah or Jill?”
He nodded at her. “Oiu. They asked me for a place of privacy, so I directed them to the repaire.”
The jealousy she felt earlier returned and it coincided with a surprise push of power from Alain. She immediately knew that he was responsible for her earlier lapse. Before he could walk around her toward the exit, she tightened her mental shield and grabbed the stocky man by the throat. Her own power far eclipsed the werewolf. “Do not think to play your games with me or my people, wolf! If I find that you had any parts in the emotional turmoil today, you will pay dearly!” She released him abruptly with a slight shove and he sucked in a raspy breath. His skin was already bruising from the force of her grip but she knew his enhanced healing would have it gone in a matter of minutes. Despite the rage she could see in his eyes, she noted that the rest of his face remained an impassive mask, and his shields were locked tight.
He gave a single jerky nod. “Mes excuses, sangsue. I was only trying to liven things up in here. It will not happened again. Now if you will excuse me?”
Keller stepped aside and watched carefully as he made his way out the door she had entered minutes before. Her thoughts were running like the wind but one stood out above all the others. She no longer trusted Alain. But she did trust Louve, and she would have a talk with her friend later. More determined than ever to find Sarah, she went through the house toward the den. She felt her lover before she saw her. Keller slid open the pocket door to Louve’s favorite room and paused. In light of her encounter with Alain, she could only assume he was responsible for the scene she was faced with. Sarah and Jill were locked in an embrace, mouths feasting on each other.
Keller could immediately sense the women were overcome with lust, much the same way Sarah had been overcome by Louve their first time at Temple du Loup. Anger was the first emotion she felt but she quickly pushed it away. She was aware of what Alain had done, but not his true intentions. Instead of being furious at the two women in front of her, she did something much more productive. Using her power and aura, she sent a wash of neutral emotion through both women. The effect was similar to dousing them with a bucket of ice water and they immediately jumped apart. Confusion washed over their faces, which quickly turned to dismay. Jill looked at Keller and then back at Sarah. “What the fuck?”
Keller sighed. “What the fuck, indeed.” She knew why they did what they did, but she still didn’t like it.
Sarah looked like she was going to cry. “Keller, I swear I don’t know what happened. We came in here to talk and—I don’t know. It was—I was overwhelmed and the next I remember was feeling something wash through me and you were standing there. I swear, I don’t know what happened.” She took a step toward her lover and held out her hand. She had been furious with Keller earlier, but she couldn’t bear it if Keller thought that Sarah would break her trust, or worse yet, didn’t love her. She was relieved when Keller took the offered hand and held it tight in her own.
Keller glanced at Jill, then looked into Sarah’s teary green eyes. “It’s okay, love, I know exactly what happened. Let’s all sit down, we have another problem.”
The veterinarian was first to speak. “What do you mean we have another problem? Don’t we have enough? And what happened to us? I swear I’d never fuck around like that without consent from both of you. I like to have fun, Keller, but not like that. Besides, I, um, Louve and I have been getting close. I wouldn’t mess that up either.”
Keller gave her a reassuring smile. “I know you’re not like that and I’m glad you and Louve are getting close. I think you are good for each other. First I’m going to ask if either one of you had your shields in place when you came in here to talk?”
Jill shook her head and Sarah answered. “Of course not, it was just Jill. She was the only one here and I trust her with my life!”
Keller held up a hand to calm her girlfriend. “I know you do, but you weren’t the only ones in the house.”
A shudder ran through Jill as she whispered a name. “Alain.”
“Yes, Alain. We had an altercation when I came into the house. He tried to force emotion-laden energy on me, to fuel jealousy. But I am no novice to be caught by his games. I gave him a warning, but I have lost my trust in him. These are serious times right now and I have no interest in pathetic squabbles.”
Jill stared at her in confusion. “What do you mean forced energy?”
Keller looked at Sarah. “Do you remember what Louve did to you the first time we went to the club?”
The singer’s mouth made an ‘O’ shape as she recalled the night that they first had a threesome with Louve. It was the incident in question that led Sarah to tell the Frenchwoman to go fuck herself. Sarah turned to her ex. “A powerful wolf can overwhelm with emotional energy. Lust, anger, and jealousy, just to name a few. They can even do it to people with other blood if we aren’t well shielded.” She looked back at Keller. “But if Alain did that to us, he must be very powerful. I’ve never sensed anything like that from him.”
The elder vampire scowled. “That’s the problem, I’ve never felt anything from him, period. For a wolf, he is shielded incredibly tight. It takes a lot of strength for a werewolf to hold that much power in check, rather than let it emote naturally.”
Jill looked down at the ornate throw rug and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “I—I think that he—”
Sarah stood and walked over to Jill. “What’s the matter, Red?”
The veterinarian looked up at her longtime friend. “I think he’s the third man. From the moment I first saw him in the kitchen, I felt something. My stomach twisted and I was afraid, but it’s more than just the fact that he is a man because I don’t feel uncomfortable around Raph, Romaric, or Ranier. At first I thought it was because his build is similar to the wolf I remember, but now I think it’s more. I just—I can’t remember!”
“Jill.” Keller called out softly, to get her attention. “I’m afraid that’s my fault.”
“What do you mean?”
Keller sighed and ran a hand through her perpetually messy blonde hair. “When you were attacked, I clouded some of your memories to help you distance yourself from them a bit. It’s a healing technique I’ve used many times in the past.”
Jill looked at her in shock. “You did what?”
“It’s like putting salve on a wound so that it doesn’t hurt so much while it’s healing. While you were physically healed after your attack, your mind was still hurt. I simply numbed some of the pain, psychically. Unfortunately, the side effect was that it also muted some of the more vivid images of your experience. I did intend that, but I did not realize the other difficulty it would pose when trying to positively identify your attackers. I apologize for that.”
The veterinarian took a few minutes to absorb Keller’s words. She was a doctor; she was a person of extremely rational mind; and she was a survivor. And Doctor Jillian Cole knew that it was time to face her fears. “Is there a way you can undo what you did?”
Sarah looked at her with dismay. “You don’t have to do that, Jilly. We can find another way.” She glanced at her lover. “Right, Keller? There’s another way to find out if Alain is her third attacker?”
Keller shook her head and gave Jill a penetrating stare. “There is no other way. I can reverse what I did, but are you sure about this? If you’re not healed enough yet, it could send you into a depressive spiral and it would take even longer to get back to a place of normalcy.”
The tall doctor leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. “Since reconnecting with Sarah and Annie, and meeting you, Jesse, and Louve, I feel like I’ve finally got a family again. It was just me and my mom growing up, and we were never very close. Since she moved to Florida a few years back, we rarely even speak with the exception of mandatory phone calls on birthdays and holidays. She likes to pretend that I’m not gay, and I like to pretend she’s not a hypocritical bitch.” She looked up at Sarah and then turned her gaze to Keller. “You are my family, and I’ll face any hardship I have to in order to keep this one intact. So yes, I want to do this because we need to know.”
Satisfied, Keller nodded. “Okay. In order to do this, I’ll need to take some blood from you to help establish a bond that’s a little deeper than normal. It’s harder to undo than it was to initially cloud your memories.”
Sarah stood up. “Wait, you’re going to do this now? With everyone waiting outside and Alain potentially causing trouble someplace else?”
Keller gave her a serious look. “This is the only time to do it. We need to know as soon as possible. Can you keep an eye out and don’t let anyone interrupt us until I’m finished. And keep your shields tight, no matter who it is!” Sarah nodded once and walked out of the den, sliding the doors shut behind her. Keller could sense her lover on the other side and knew that she’d watch over them. She looked at Jill. The taller woman was still sitting forward on the couch. “Now it’s your turn. I’m going to sit on the couch with my back facing one end. I want you to recline in front of me so I can be comfortable and still have good access to feed. Okay?”
Jill swallowed hard; her nerves were obvious. She moved and waited for Keller to get situated on the couch, then she reclined back between her legs. She tried for a bit of humor, if only to calm her own nerves. “This would be fun on any other day.”
Keller chuckled. “How do you think Sarah fed from you the night we all slept together?”
Jill smiled, her nerves abated slightly but the memory of their threesome only served to heat her up in an uncomfortable way. There was no time for that, they had to be serious. She kept her response deceptively light, but was very aware of Keller’s breath against her neck. “That was a hot night.”
Keller’s left arm snaked across the front of Jill’s chest, and she gently cupped the taller woman’s right cheek and jaw. Jill tilted her head to the left, leaving plenty of room on the right side of her neck for Keller to feed. Keller could feel the nearby pulse start to race and sensed the woman’s rising heat, but she did her best to ignore it. She would need all her focus to undo what she had done. Keller tried hard not to think about was how sexual feeding from Jill would be. Like Sarah, Keller didn’t want to do anything to cause her lover to question her commitment. Not wanting to delay any longer, Keller entered Jill’s mind at the same time she pierced her with sharp fangs. The feeling of biting the other woman immediately made Keller wet. She couldn’t help her body’s autonomic response, but she could do her best not to let any lust leak through to the compliant woman. She knew that Jill was just as turned on, but that was something they would both have to ignore. As the taller woman’s blood slid down Keller’s throat, the older vampire used the bond that was forged to delve deeper into her mind.
Jill could feel her inside, but she also felt as if she was floating. The room and world around her faded away the further down Keller went. Suddenly, images appeared to both women. They were hazy at first, but Keller did something to clear it up. It was as if she had peeled away a veil from the screen of Jill’s mind. Jill gasped and her body jerked in Keller’s grip as she was overtaken by the memories of that night. Fear rolled through her at the memory of her assailants’ faces, and she whimpered in terror as she relived their assault. One by one, the three people in her memory took turns breaking her, the remembered pain of it making her stomach roil. And when they were through, the real fear began. She watched the movie of her memory as each person changed into something that she’d only seen before in horror films. The agony that followed was nearly unbearable, and she cried out with her eyes closed tight, tears leaking around her pale lashes.
Sarah could feel her friend’s pain and hear the anguish coming from the other room, but she knew she could not leave her duty or interrupt. And Keller was inside Jill through it all. She felt the other woman’s torment; she understood her shame and sorrow at what had happened. Instead of clouding those things, she sent wave after wave of positive energy to the woman in her arms. Jill’s memory ended when the last of her bones had been broken and she passed out. But she saw enough to know and someone was going to pay. Keller pulled out of her mind at the same time she withdrew her fangs. Her tongue licked away the remaining blood, sealing the wound on Jill’s neck. The taller woman shuddered at the sensation. Despite the horrors she had relived, she was unable to fully stop her reactions to the intimate act of feeding either. Keller continued to hold Jill as the taller woman’s breathing and heartrate began to slow. “Are you okay?” Jill didn’t speak for a minute. Instead, she took slow measured breaths. Keller grew concerned and prompted once more. “Jill? How do you feel?
Jill abruptly sat forward and stood from the couch. The woman that turned around and looked into Keller’s eyes wasn’t the wounded creature that Keller had feared. Instead, she saw resolution and strength of mind. Jill could feel the slow burn of anger in her belly and was ready to find the wolves responsible for her pain. “It was Alain, and the woman that Sarah attacked earlier. Marie. Which means I can only assume the other person is Raph’s nephew, Marcel.”
Keller stood as well. “Let’s go find Louve. This will need to be handled delicately. I sense that Alain is very powerful and we don’t want him to suspect that we know until we can make sure he won’t get away.” They opened the den door and walked out, startling Sarah. The singer turned quickly and looked back and forth
between Jill and Keller.
“Well, did it go all right? Are you okay?” She put her hand on Jill’s arm in concern.
Jill looked back at her ex and gave her a sad smile. “I’m going to be. But more importantly right now is that I remember everything. We need to find Louve and warn her about Alain. It was him.”
Anger blossomed in Sarah’s gut as she thought about the abuse her friend had suffered at the hands of the three rogue wolves. And to find out that one of the wolves was someone she had trusted, it fanned the flames of rage higher. “I swear, I’ll kill them all!”
Keller immediately stepped in close to her lover. “Sarah, focus, my love. We just need to catch them first and to do that we need to stay calm and clear. Please, you need to push away that anger and stay with us.”
Sarah listened to what her girlfriend had to say and tried her best to comply. She shut her eyes and pushed the anger and emotion down and away from the surface. It was one thing she could easily do with so many years of practice. She opened her eyes and nodded to the shorter woman in front of her. “I’m good. I’m okay now. Let’s go catch some dogs.”
They were met by Louve as soon as they walked out the door onto the wraparound porch. “Where have you all been? Raph and his sons are ready to get settled in so they can be rested to run the city tonight.” Louve noticed the grim look on Keller’s face. “What is wrong, mon ami?”
Keller glanced around for Alain but didn’t see the stocky man. “Come, we must speak with Raph immediately. I will tell you all at the same time. Where is Alain?”
“I’m afraid he is gone. I was coming to tell you that Alain received a call from one of his good friends in France. Apparently his friend is on his deathbed, and Alain left immediately to be by his side. We will just have to make do without him.”
In an uncharacteristic fit of anger, Keller slammed her fist into a nearby planter. “In the name of fack! Can we na’ get a break?”
