“Yes, Creed, we made a baby. How great is that? What is not great is the fact you wanted Mia. Do you know how humiliating it was for me to find out you actually wanted her, actually believed that you were ready to love someone else, and here you are, stuck with me because you had to marry me.” Tears streamed down my angel’s face, gutting me.
“Memph—”
“Did you love her? Are… are you still in love with her?” she whispered, her hand pushing mine off her belly as she took a step backwards away from me, from my touch.
A feral growl left my throat. I got that I looked bad here, but she just said all kinds of things that pissed me off.
“No, I don’t fucking love Mia. Didn’t then and don’t now. She is a friend, a bloody good friend, and yeah, at one time, I thought about starting something with her. Steel was being a dickhead and kept hurting her all the time, flaunting Callie in Mia’s face.” I paused and started pacing the small room.
Memphis was standing still, tears staining her beautiful face. Damn it, I never wanted to be the reason for her tears. I wanted her smiles, her laughter. I should have told her about Mia well before now, told her the truth. There was no way I was going to let her leave me. She and our baby belonged with me. Letting her go back to the bookstore was not an option, just as living without her was unacceptable and not happening.
“I thought I was ready for something then, but when Mia offered herself to me, I couldn’t do it. She loved Steel, and I was in a fucked-up place over Lila, so it would not have been fair to either of us. I would have been her second choice, and she would have been the wrong choice.”
As I spoke, I saw her face change from sad to confused. The tears had at least stopped, and she was listening to me. Encouraged by her change, I continued on.
“I am not stuck with you, Memphis. I chose you. I know we could have worked out something else instead of getting married. We could have fought the will, contested it, but we didn’t. Why do you think I married you, Memphis?”
She shook her head but didn’t speak.
“I married you because, deep down, I really wanted to. Not just for the will, but because I really like you, you are a big part of me. An important part, baby.” I paused.
Memphis’s beautiful face shone with hope. I wanted to keep it there, so I pushed on.
“I admit it was hard at first. Lila was my whole life since I was fourteen years old, and it felt like I was cheating on her by being with you. I was sorry for that, not for being with you, Angel. I was apologising to her for moving on.” I kept my words soft and gentle when inside I was screaming. She had to believe that she meant more to me than just a responsibility.
“You can’t blame my not believing you, Creed. You have always said Lila was the one and only love of your life.” Memphis said, and she was right, to a degree. Sometimes, even I couldn’t explain my exit from life after the accident, hiding behind Lila’s death and the guilt that I caused it. Before I could say anything, Memphis asked me another question.
“What made me different from Mia?” Memphis asked quietly.
Shaking my head, I breathed deep and thought before I answered.
“She doesn’t know me like you do. Her smile doesn’t make my heart beat faster like yours does. I don’t crave her touch or need it to survive. She isn’t in my every waking thought like you are.” Slowly, I stepped closer to her, but I didn’t touch her, not yet. “Making love to you for the first time was the best moment of my life, but afterwards, guilt swamped me. Memphis, I lost my first wife right in front of my eyes. My whole world crumbled, and I had no clue how to move on, so I stopped living, which was easier than putting my heart out there again. The first night we made love started healing the part of me that I’d lost—my heart. Suddenly, you became everything, more than before. What I feel for you is not just protecting you. My feelings go deeper than I ever imagined they could. ” I leaned in and looked into the prettiest sea-blue eyes. I can honestly say that Lila never made me feel as deep as you do. I did love her—at the time she was everything. The love of my life, but that was then. You make me feel deeper, stronger, fiercer.”
My voice was raw, fear and panic rose up inside me.
“Don’t leave me, Memph. Please, don’t give me a taste of heaven then rip it away from me,” I pleaded, finally taking her into my arms, not able to take the distance between us for another minute.
Memphis tensed for only a second before her arms banded around my waist and held me tightly.
I released a long relieved breath, my heart’s erratic beats finally calming. My fingers shifted through the silky threads of my angel’s hair, and I caught a glimpse of the two bands on my left hand. No thought was needed as I reached over with my other hand and slipped them both off, and then put the ring Memphis gave me back on.
Memphis had given all of herself to me willingly, been patient with me, believed in me. It was time I gave her all of me, no ghosts, no fear. She was mine, and I was hers.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Creed?” Memphis asked as she pulled back and looked up at me, her arms still around me, her small frame shaking slightly.
I took the wedding band I had worn on my finger since I was twenty years old, leaned over, and placed it on the bedside table. The ring had brought me comfort during times of struggle, but it had also brought me great pain. There was no room in my life for it anymore.
“There isn’t a doubt in my mind, Angel. I want you and our baby, and it’s time to leave the past where it belongs. I will always love your sister. She was and will be part of me. But my future is with you. I love you, Memphis. Believe that,” I whispered and lowered my lips to hers. I kissed her slow and deep, pouring all my love for my wife into that kiss.
“I love you too, baby, and I do believe you. You know why?” Memphis said to me.
I was so stuck on her telling me she loved me and was calling me baby again—I nearly forgot she asked me why.
“Why, Angel?”
“You called her Lila, not Lila Rose. You once told me her name was the most beautiful name in the world. You would never shorten it, you always called her that, just you, only you,” Memphis said, the smile on her face brightening everything around me. I felt ten feet tall that I was the reason for that smile.
“And now it’s you, only you, Memph,” I promised.
“And our baby,” Memphis added, another brilliant smile gracing her face, and I fell in love just a little more.
I touched my hand to her flat stomach where my child lay safe, silently vowing right then nothing was going to take my world from me—not this time.
“I hope we have a girl with pretty eyes like her mother,” I told her happily but frowned when Memphis stopped smiling. Instead, her teeth were biting at her bottom lip, her eyes tearing up.
What the hell did I say wrong? “Angel, what’s wrong?”
“How can I be a good mother when I’m blind? What if I hurt it or drop it.” Memphis cried and clung to me, her head buried against my cut as her hands curled around the leather.
She really meant these things. How could she doubt herself for even a second? I nearly laughed at the notion that she even thought such things.
“Angel, you will be the best mother. You overcame losing your sight like a boss. You came up with your own techniques to get around. You started your own business, lived on your own, and managed to become an author. There isn’t a bloody thing you can’t do, Memphis,” I told her honestly. I had so much pride for Memphis, for the courage she showed every day no matter how hard it got for her at times. She kept smiling and pushed through. She humbled me with her strength and made me feel a little ashamed that I gave up for so long when I should have fought. Well, I was fighting now. The darkness I’d lived with was gone, and Memphis and her unwavering belief in me made that happen.
“Plus, you have me by your side every step of the way, Memphis,” I said firmly, wiping the tears from her porcelain cheeks. As I pushed the thin straps of her summ
er dress from her shoulders to reveal the most perfect breasts I’d ever had the pleasure of touching, I asked, “You know what happens now, right?”
Memphis moaned and leaned into my hands as I captured the creamy globes that fit so perfectly in my hands.
“What happens now?” she said breathlessly, her back arching. Her dress had fallen to the floor, showing me the body that my dreams were made of.
Lowering my head, I took one nipple into my mouth and sucked hard, then released it with a pop. In one quick move, I swung Memphis up and into my arms, her happy squeal of delight making me laugh.
“Make-up sex,” I growled against her neck. I nipped at her soft skin, then lifted my head and looked lovingly at my beautiful wife.
Memphis traced her fingers across my lips, and a small gasp left her own.
“Are you smiling?” she whispered, shocked. The gentle pressure of her fingers saw my smile.
“Yeah, Angel, I am. Just don’t tell Shiloh. I promised she would get the first one.”
“My lips are sealed.” She laughed.
“I love you, Memphis, more and more every day, every hour,” I vowed right then and there, meaning every word.
“Every minute, every second,” she whispered back, making me whole again.
I breathed a sigh of relief. I came so close to fucking up. It was time to honour Memphis and put all my ghosts in the past where they belonged. Clever fingers traced my nipple through my shirt, and all thoughts other than making love to my wife were forgotten.
There was no more talking for a few hours, only lots of moaning as I lost myself in my wife.
Chapter 19
MEMPHIS
Shiloh giggled as Creed spun her around above his head, which I knew because Shiloh insisted on giving me a running commentary. She shouted out everything that went on in front of me. I guess I should be happy I wasn’t getting another commentary on Zeke. I had watched all the episodes of that blasted show twice since arriving at the compound over six weeks ago. Six weeks! It was hard to believe so much had changed for me. After Creed and I had our fight, and the best sex of my life, we talked all night about our hopes and fears of becoming parents. He helped settle my apprehension about my abilities to be a good mum, a blind mum.
The next day, Creed took me to the doctor, and we got a picture of our baby. The doctor performed an internal ultrasound because I was so early in my pregnancy, and the whole time, Creed growled, his over-protective alpha ways both amusing and delighting me.
Our relationship took a different turn after that fight, almost like a rebirth, a do-over, but the best part of it was Creed loved me and was in love with me. That dark cloud over him was gone, and the old Creed was back. He laughed a lot more, but best of all, he smiled. I remembered well the day Shiloh first saw her uncle smile. She had been so shocked the little girl burst into tears.
“Hey, Unca Broody, Mummy said you and Aunty Memph is having a baby. Is that true, dinks?” I heard Shiloh ask as we all sat down to dinner.
Creed was next to me, one hand holding mine, and we ate with our free hand. Creed, it turned out, was a public display of affection kind of a guy. I wasn’t complaining, mind you, but the things I was finding out about this new version of my husband was fascinating, and I loved every minute of it.
“Yeah, sure is, Squirt,” Creed answered as my hand was moved up, and I felt a warm kiss placed on my knuckles. A shiver of electricity shot right through me like it did every time Creed touched me.
“I’s glad you is having a baby. Now maybe youse will smile,” Shiloh told Creed.
The room hushed from all talking, and I could only presume everyone was shocked by what Shiloh said. I was about to ask Creed what was happening and why he let go of my hand, when I heard Shiloh crying, tiny sobs that broke my heart.
“Creed, what’s wrong? Why is Shiloh crying?”
Creed said nothing, and to my left, I heard Booth whisper in my ear, “She’s crying because she just saw her uncle smile for the first time in her life. He is holding her, and her little arms are wrapped around his neck, and they are both crying.”
I smiled as I remembered that wonderful day. Since then, Shiloh hardly left Creed’s side when she wasn’t with her beloved Darth, and she made it her personal mission to make sure Creed smiled every day.
“Hi, Memphis. Mind if I sit?” Charlotte asked from beside me.
I turned in her direction and patted the cushion. “Of course, you can. I’m having fun listening to those two giggle and carry on.”
“It is a wonderful sight, that’s for sure. I don’t mind admitting he is an incredibly sexy man when he is smiling. Of course, I will deny saying that if Deck asks,” Charlotte said, sighing happily from beside me, making me giggle. Deck would definitely not like his wife saying such things of his road captain. I, on the other hand, had no such problems with her thinking my husband sexy. His smile was etched in my memories, and it was indeed a sexy sight to witness.
“I won’t tell a soul,” I promised.
“Good. Now, do you feel like going out? I have to go check on the remodelling at the dance school. Rainn is not having a good day today, so Mannix has her trapped in their bed with strict instructions she is not to get out. I’m taking Shiloh, and Darth is on detail. We shouldn’t be more than an hour.”
I jumped up from the couch, excited for an outing. Other than going to the clinic a few weeks ago to confirm my pregnancy, I had done nothing but stay at the compound. I enjoyed it here, but I needed to feel something new.
“When do we go?” I asked. In my excitement, I nearly tripped over Apollo, who was never far from me and was sleeping at my feet.
“Memphis, be careful,” Creed shouted. I heard his heavy footfalls coming towards me, and then I was in his arms.
“Why are you jumping around, woman?” he said, then growled into my neck when I pushed my lower body against his crotch, not at all surprised to feel his cock stir beneath his jeans.
“Hmm, ah, let’s see why am I excited… Oh, yes, Charlotte is taking me to the dance school. She has to look a few things over and asked me to go with her, and yes, before you ask, Darth is going with us, and so is Shiloh. So you can finish painting that tank you started on yesterday, and then, when I get back, I will let you ravish me with your clever mouth,” I sassed at him, then yelped when his hand came down on my bottom, slapping it,
“Let me, hey? I think it is more like you will take whatever I decide to do to you, Angel. And it won’t just be my mouth that ravishes you, I promise you that,” Creed said in a low, deep, sexy voice that hit me exactly where he intended.
I loved this man, loved him with every fibre of my being.
“Charlotte said it won’t take more than an hour. Do you think you will be finished with this secret project you won’t tell me anything about?” I narrowed my eyes at Creed.
A few days ago, he said he had a surprise for me. He had been in his paint shop for hours at a time for the last three days and refused to tell me what it was, that I had to wait to see. I, of course, reminded him I could not see—which earned me sex against the door in our room. I loved the ways my husband punished me for sassing him.
“Yes, my love, I will be finished by the time you get home, and then you will feel what I have been up to.” Creed kissed my forehead with his warm lips.
I automatically leaned into to him, getting so much comfort from just a small kiss.
“Promise me you will be careful. Stay close to Darth, and take your cane and Apollo,” he ordered, and my eyes itched to roll at his over-protectiveness, but my heart loved it.
“I promise,” I agreed without a fight. Now was not the time to give him a hard time with Rogue on the mind of every member of the club. After the tragic loss of Vegas, the tension was high, more than ever now that there were five pregnant women as potential targets.
“I love you, Memph,” he whispered against my lips. “It feels so fucking good to say those words to you and mean them with all my hea
rt.”
He then kissed me, his tongue seeking immediate entry into my mouth, which I gave him. Over and over, he moved his lips over mine, sipping from me until we had to break apart to breathe.
“You own my heart, Creed Stephens. You always have. I love you too, baby.” My fingers touched his mouth and felt the smile that was my favourite thing to remember.
———
My cane tapped against the wooden floors of the dance hall. The echoes made the room feel massive, even bigger than the main room back at the compound.
“It feels huge,” I told Charlotte as I let Shiloh lead me around, her constant chatter not requiring any kind of response except for a few squeezes of my hand here and there, letting her know when to stop and when to walk on. Creed taught Shiloh our tricks of leading me around, and she was pretty good at it. I had only tripped up three times since we got out of the car.
“It’s a fabulous space. Two of the walls are made up entirely of mirrors. On one, we have a barre that goes from one end to the other. The other wall of mirrors is for the pole dancing classes. Altogether, there are ten poles spaced evenly apart. Far enough away from the glass so there are no accidental stiletto mishaps,” Charlotte said.
Going by what she said, I formed a vision in my mind of what Charlotte was explaining. The ballet part was easy because I had seen girls perform ballets in the local town hall when I was a girl. The pole dancing side of the room was a bit harder, my knowledge or lack there-of was proving difficult to conjure up an image.
“Well, it sounds wonderful. What other types of dance will you be offering?”
Shiloh squeezed my hand again, and we took off, the sound of Apollo’s nails clicking on the wooden floors beside me.
“Tap, jazz, and ballroom dancing, open to all ages. It will be a lot of work, but I have asked some of my old ballet school friends to join as staff. I can’t wait until we are up and running. Once my baby and Rainn’s twins are born, we will start teaching our own classes.” The excitement was clear in the sweet dancer’s voice. There was also a hint of something else that had me worried.
His Angel: The Wounded Souls Series Page 13
