She just prayed he didn’t hurt himself or others in the meantime.
“We’ve overcome a lot, Alex, and we will overcome this as well,” their mother said, her tone sharper than Meghan had heard it in a while. “Let me get some coffee for the room.”
Alex snorted. “I don’t need coffee. Scotch would be nice.”
“Alex,” Marie snapped.
“Never mind,” he mumbled.
Meghan’s heart broke for him, but she needed to focus on her babies. That killed her, but she didn’t have a choice. There were other Montgomerys to take care of him, but first, he had to want to care for himself.
Luc moved his hand from hers and rubbed the small of her back. She took a deep breath and continued the conversation about lawyers and Richard’s accusations. Yet, the entire time, a small part of her mind focused on that hand—on the person who owned that hand.
He’d been by her side since he pulled up, and she leaned on him. He hadn’t thought twice about jumping into her messes, her problems. He’d held her hand, touched her back, kissed her temples…everything and so much more. Not only had he let her rely on him, but he’d always controlled that quiet anger she knew he hid from Sasha and Cliff. She could see the rage in his eyes now, and his need to fix it all.
Luc deserved more from her. He needed a woman in his life who could share and relish each moment. He needed someone who didn’t have as much baggage as she did. God knew what would happen in the future with Richard and the proceedings that could come. Just because her ex hadn’t fought before didn’t mean the right people and the right amount of money couldn’t change everything in just a mere whisper of time.
Luc didn’t need to give up his time and future to fix her problems. He was already doing that. Between the rides home when her car wouldn’t start, cutting dates short when her kids needed her, the strength it took to deal with her when she ignored him…it was too much. She’d already hurt him once before by not recognizing what stood in front of her, and she refused to do it again.
Something broke inside her, a sharp snap echoing in the hollowness of her heart. He couldn’t sacrifice a bright future with a woman who could love with the depth and breadth of her soul without restrictions and ties to a past paved with pain and heartache. He’d told her himself that he loved her once yet only cared for her now that they were adults and starting over. If she pushed him away now, he wouldn’t hurt so much.
It would break her, but it was nothing more than she deserved.
She needed to focus on her children—not on the man she knew if she looked inside the cavernous ache that had once been her heart. Luc deserved more than a fraction of a woman long since damaged.
She rolled her shoulders back, her body going numb. Tears threatened, but she pushed them back. There was no room for tears. This was needed for the good of a man who deserved a future filled to the brim with hope and promise.
Throughout all of her thoughts, she kept talking, planning with her family. Luc’s hand froze on her back, and he looked down at her.
He couldn’t know what she planned. Yet she wouldn’t meet his gaze. That would be for private. For later. When she had the courage to do what must be done.
He’d be hurt, but not as much as he would be if she let him love her.
Her babies would cry and want Luc back in their lives, but she couldn’t hurt Luc more than she already had. Because if she let him in, she’d rely on him too much and break them all.
This was for the best.
And maybe one day, she’d heal from the sacrifice.
****
Luc knew something was wrong. There was no way to miss the look of defeat in Meghan’s eyes. Oh, she might have found a plan of action with her family when it came to her children, but something else had broken within her.
From the way she ever so slightly pulled away from his touch and refused to look in his eyes, he had a feeling he knew what she’d given up.
Him.
Well, fuck that. She was scared. Damn if she didn’t have a right to be, but he wouldn’t let her take the easy way out, and letting her walk away without a second thought would be the easy way out. The woman always had to do things on her own. That she’d let her family help her now spoke of her determination to protect her children.
But she refused to protect her heart.
Or, rather, she’d encased the damn thing in such a shield that she refused to let him in. He wouldn’t break her, damn it, and once the kids were put to bed, he’d show her running was not an option.
He fucking loved Meghan Montgomery-Warren, and he’d be damned if he would let her go because of the fear of what could happen when she fully relied on another. He could already hear the so-called reasonable excuses for why she’d leave him, but he didn’t care about any of those. Meghan was his, and he refused to allow her to risk a chance at something more because she was scared or, for fuck’s sake, worried about him.
He loved her.
Damn it.
He knew it of course. It wasn’t as though it was a surprise, but tonight wasn’t the time to tell her. Not when the woman he loved had it in her to push him away to protect him or, rather, protect herself. The true reason lay somewhere between the two, but either way, he wouldn’t let her throw away everything they had because of it.
Instead, he said his goodbyes to the Montgomerys, seeing the looks on their faces at his hold on her and the kids. It wasn’t curious or even wary. No, they approved of him, and that made him feel that much more sure he wasn’t making a mistake by not allowing Meghan to push him away.
A tug on his hand and he looked down into Sasha’s wide eyes. They’d been back at Meghan’s for about thirty minutes. Enough time for Meghan to avoid talking to him, other than letting him inside. The kids would be going to bed soon, and then they’d discuss matters.
First, though, he had to make sure this little girl knew he would always be there. He knelt down and smiled. “Yes, Sasha?”
“Will you read to us?” she asked, her voice oddly soft.
“Of course. You know what book you want?”
She nodded. “Uh-huh.” She paused, biting her lip. “Uncle Luc?”
“Yeah, princess?”
“Is Daddy really going to take us away from Mommy? Because I don’t want to go. He never smiled at me, and his eyes were mean. I know he’s supposed to be my daddy, but I want you instead. Or just Mommy. Don’t make me go to Daddy. Okay?”
His heart broke into a million pieces for this little girl. He couldn’t make her promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. Money spoke, and sometimes the courts didn’t work for those who were honest and hardworking. But he’d be damned if he’d scare her right then. Instead, he told her the only truth he knew.
“Your Mommy loves you.” He took a deep breath. “I love you too, princess. No matter what, neither of us is leaving you.”
“I love you too, Uncle Luc.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held on as tight as he could without squeezing too hard. “Book now?”
He took a deep breath then stood up, taking her with him. She kissed his cheek then babbled on about what she wanted to do at school the next day as they made their way to her bedroom.
Seriously. Adorable kid.
And he’d protect them as fiercely as Meghan would. The woman he loved would just have to get that through her head. Meghan stood in the doorway, her arms wrapped around her middle. He nodded at her then tucked Sasha in. By the time he read two stories, both Cliff and Sasha were out. Cliff hadn’t said much other than goodnight to him, but he could see the toll of the day on the little boy’s face.
He had a feeling he knew what was wrong with Cliff, but he needed to feel the kid out more before he confronted him. Some things were too fragile to handle without grace.
He touched Meghan’s elbow and met her gaze finally. The stark fear and loss knocked him back, but he swallowed hard, letting the determination in his face show in his eyes.
“Let’s go to
the bedroom and talk,” he said softly.
She looked around him at the kids.
He pulled her gently to the hallway, shutting the door behind him. “They’re sleeping, and they know we’re together, Meghan. I don’t have to stay the night, but we need to talk.”
She licked her lips then turned toward the bedroom. He didn’t let go of her, knowing that once he did she’d find a way to try to keep him from touching her again. Instead, he followed her to the bedroom and, once again, shut the door behind him. This time he locked it, aware there were children in the house who didn’t know to knock.
“Luc.”
“Meg.” He pulled her close and cupped her face with one hand while keeping the other on her wrist. “You can’t push me away to protect me.”
“I have to,” she whispered. “You deserve so much better than me.”
“Bullshit.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“You don’t get to tell me what I deserve.”
“And you don’t get to tell me what I feel.”
“Right back at you,” he clipped. “Damn it, Meg. I know you’re scared. You have every damn right to be, but that doesn’t mean you get to push me away because of it. I’m here for you, just as I’m here for me. I want you, Meghan. All of you, every part of you that you keep trying to hide. But you don’t get to leave me because you’re scared of what’s to come. I’m sorry, but fuck that.”
Anger sparked in her eyes, and he let relief spread through him. Anger he could work with. Fear at the tone of his words, he couldn’t. But his Meghan was stronger than she gave herself credit for.
“Fuck that? I’m making sure you have options. It’s for your own good.”
“I’m not your child, Meghan. I’m your lover, your friend, your boyfriend. You can’t tell me it’s for my own good when I clearly think the opposite. So don’t push me away telling me it’s all about me when it’s not.”
“If you stay, I’ll take too much from you.”
“If I stay, I’ll give all I have to give.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head. “I don’t cry. Yet all I seem to do lately is cry.”
Luc leaned forward and brushed his lips along hers, a soft caress filled with so much more. “Don’t cry, my Meghan.”
“You have to go, Luc. I’ll only end up hurting you.”
“Why do you say that? You can’t hurt me more than I let you, Meghan. But pushing me away right now? That will hurt me. So don’t push me away. Let me fight with you, rather than fight for what we have. I’ll do the latter if I need to, but I’d rather not be forced to. I don’t want you to push me away. Let me be here. Let me be yours.”
“It’s all too much, Luc,” she whispered, her eyes closed.
“Then let me help. That’s what I’m here for. If it’s all too much, then let me carry the burden.”
“I can’t do that to you.”
“You’re not doing anything to me if I’m freely offering myself. Open your eyes, sugar.”
She did, the sadness inside reaching out to him. “I don’t want to lose you, Luc.”
“Then don’t let go.”
He lowered his head then, taking her mouth with his. She leaned into him, her body pressed tightly against his. When he pulled back, breathless, he met her gaze.
“Don’t do it, Meghan. Don’t push me away because you’re scared. If you want me to leave, make it be for something I’ve done or something you need, not for something that might never be.”
“I promise,” she whispered. “I was just so scared of losing you because I need you.”
That agonizing confession broke him once again, but instead of dwelling on it, he kissed her again, this time walking her backward to her bed. He kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers.
She arched into him and moaned. He slid his hands down her back and cupped her ass, pressing his cock against her belly.
“You feel that, Meg? You feel my cock hard as a rock? That’s for you. I’m going to slide in and out of you, stretch you until your tissues cling to me and you come. How does that sound?”
She wiggled against him, and he smiled.
“Strip. Do it slowly.”
He stood back and folded his arms over his chest. She blinked up at him then did as he told. She ever so slowly stripped off her clothes, being so fucking seductive and sexy without even trying.
“Touch your breasts. Show me what you like.”
“Seriously?”
He smiled then. “Yeah, cup them and play with your nipples.”
“Only if you touch yourself, too.”
He licked his lips. “That I can do, sugar. Sit on the edge of the bed and spread your legs as well. That way I can see that pretty cunt of yours get wet.”
“Get wet? What if I’m already wet?”
“Fucking minx,” he growled out as he stripped off his clothes. He fisted his cock and gave himself two strokes. “Now play with your nipples then slowly slide your hand down your body until you touch your clit.”
“I want you to touch me, Luc,” she panted as she swirled her finger around her clit.
“And I will.” He squeezed the base of his cock so he wouldn’t blow right then. “But first, I want you to make yourself come before I fuck you. Can you do that for me, sugar? Can you make yourself come so you’re all swollen and silky when I slide my dick into your cunt?”
He watched her fuck herself with her fingers, her hips moving up and down as she moved faster.
“Luc, I’m almost there.”
“Come for me, Meghan. Come for me.”
She met his gaze, her mouth partly open, her eyes dark, and she came, her body shaking. He quickly tore open the condom he’d placed by his clothes and slid it on. He cupped the back of her neck and forced her eyes on his.
“Mine,” he growled then thrust into her. Hard.
Her pussy clenched around him, and they both groaned. He moved his hips, sliding in and out of her, but his hand never left her neck.
“You’re not leaving me, Meghan. You don’t get to leave because you’re scared you’ll take too much. You’re mine.” Her fingers dug into his back, and he let the pain ramp up his intensity. “Say it, Meghan.”
“I’m yours,” she panted. “I’m yours.”
“Good.” He crushed his mouth to hers and fucked her hard. She wrapped her legs around his waist, moving her hips with his.
Just as he felt his orgasm coming, he pulled out, ignoring her whimper. He flipped her over on her stomach and slammed back into her.
“Grip the sheets, sugar. Press back on my cock and fuck me as I’m fucking you.”
Her toes barely touched the floor so she had to use her hips to fuck him back, but she did it. Every thrust, she moved on his cock, making it harder and harder to hold back and not come right then.
He slapped her ass and grinned when she looked over his shoulder.
“Did you just spank me?”
“I’ll do it again if I have to. Your pussy just clenched around my cock, baby. You liked it.”
She narrowed her eyes, so he slapped her again. This time her eyes rolled, and he kept moving his hips.
“It’s my choice to be with you, my choice to stay. You don’t get to say I’ve had enough. Okay, sugar?”
“Anything, Luc. I promise. Just let me come.”
He slid his hand around her and flicked her clit. She came again, but he still didn’t let go. Instead, he gathered her juices and slid his finger between her ass cheeks.
“Luc?” she moaned.
“Feel this, Meghan. Feel me.”
He slowly prodded her ass with his finger before gently breaching her. She let out a groan, and so did he. He used only one finger, gently thrusting as he fucked her pussy with his cock.
“Can you come one more time, Meghan? Can you come for me?”
“I don’t know if I can,” she moaned, her words slurred.
“Just try, baby. One more time.”
&nbs
p; He twisted his finger, and she came again, clamping onto his cock. This time he couldn’t hold back and came with her, her cunt milking him for all he was worth.
This woman was his, his alone to cherish, his alone to fall in love with. Fear threatened to take them both, threatened to break them, but he wouldn’t allow that. She was stronger than she’d ever been before, and he’d be damned if he let that fear take what they had.
He’d fight for her, fight for himself, fight for them.
Chapter Thirteen
The buzz of the needle on her skin didn’t hurt. Instead, Meghan smiled down at her brother Austin’s work. Each of her tattoos meant something to her—as they should, considering they were permanent. Richard had hated the first one she had, and she forced herself not to get any more, despite the fact that her family lived in the ink business. With all that had been happening with her lawyers and Richard though, she knew she needed to get something that was all about her and her family. Luc wanted to be there with her, but he had an emergency at the job site—cleaning up the mess Steve the asshat had left for him. She’d told him she could wait, but Luc said he’d see the finished product later. He’d kissed her and gone on his way.
She still couldn’t believe she’d almost lost him because she’d been an idiot. Running away from her problems had never been her way, yet that’s what she tried to do. Luc had loved her up and made her feel like a queen—a queen who could rely on him in every way possible. She needed to get it through her head that was okay.
The tattoo on her hip had hurt like the dickens, even with Maya being as careful as possible. The tiny flower surrounded by her children’s initials on her wrist didn’t hurt at all.
“Seriously, I don’t get it,” she said, her eyes on the lines of ink and blood.
Austin wiped away the leftover ink and plasma, his focus on his work and not on her. “Different spots hurt on different people. I know one guy who had a huge back piece done and the left side hurt way fucking more than the right.”
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