Did she love his man? Did she even know what love was?
She’d fucked up before, and now fear that she’d do it again took away her ability to make a clear decision and listen to her heart. Luc hadn’t said a word about her lack of a response, nor had he seemed surprised that she hadn’t said it back.
That, above all else, told her how much she’d screwed up.
That this man would love her, not knowing whether she would ever be able to say it back—or perhaps couldn’t—spoke of the strength of his character and heart.
Meghan didn’t deserve Luc Dodd, but she’d be damned if she’d let him go. She was so fucking selfish. She couldn’t say those three words that meant the world to him. Meant the world to her. She wasn’t ready and that killed her.
The front door opened, and thoughts of love and Luc were pushed away because now she needed to steel herself for what might happen at this dinner. Cliff slipped his hand in hers, and she looked away from the incredibly gorgeous older woman on the front porch and down at her son.
“Ready?” she whispered.
“I guess.”
She used her other hand to fix his hair. “I’m here no matter what, Cliff. Remember that.”
He let out a sigh and nodded. Damn, she missed her baby boy. He still refused to tell her what was wrong, but at least he’d started to warm up to Luc. That had to mean something.
“There you are!” Maggie Dodd smiled at them and moved forward, her arms outstretched. She hugged Luc close, kissing him on the cheek. “There’s my baby.”
“How can Luc be a baby? He’s big.”
Sasha blinked up at Maggie, and Meghan held back a smile. She remembered Maggie from when she and Luc had hung out years ago. The woman’s fierceness shone through in her protectiveness of her children, but she’d always had a kind word for Meghan.
Maggie laughed and shook her head. “He might be a big boy now, but he’ll always be my baby. Much like you and your brother will always be your mom’s babies.”
“I’m not a baby. I’m a big girl.” Sasha smiled as she said it, the gap slowly closing as her permanent tooth grew in. Had it really been that long since Luc had helped her with the tooth fairy? It seemed like a blink of an eye.
“You can be both to moms,” Maggie said then knelt down. “I’m Luc’s mom, Ms. Maggie. You must be Sasha.”
“Uh-huh.” Sasha peeked over at Luc, who have her a small nod. Meghan’s heart clutched at the sight. “It’s nice to meet you and thank you for having all of us over.”
Maggie grinned. “You are very welcome, Sasha.” She stood up with Luc’s hand on her arm. She turned, and Meghan sucked in a breath. This was it. Meeting the parents. “Meghan.”
“It’s good to see you, Ms. Maggie.” She’d called Luc’s mother that years ago, and it seemed natural to do it again.
Maggie came over and patted Meghan’s cheek. “You can call me Maggie now, you know. You have babies of your own.”
Meghan leaned into Maggie’s touch, the maternal vibe she carried soothing some of the worries she’d felt coming that day. “This is my son, Cliff.”
Maggie winked and looked down at Meghan’s son. “Nice to meet you, Cliff.”
“Nice to meet you too, Ms. Maggie,” Cliff mumbled.
Meghan squeezed her son’s shoulder in assurance. He wasn’t being rude, but he wasn’t the happy boy he’d once been. Meghan hoped this wasn’t permanent.
“Well, I think we should go inside so you can see my other babies, as well as my husband,” Maggie started up the walk. “I didn’t mean to monopolize you all in the front lawn. It’s not exactly the warmest weather out here.”
Luc shook his head. “You couldn’t wait for us to knock on the door. We get it.”
“Shush, you,” she said with a laugh.
They walked into the comfortable ranch-style home and took off their coats. Luc’s father, Marcus, looked just like a slightly older version of his son. In fact, if this was what Meghan had to look forward to in the future, she’d be one lucky woman. That stray thought didn’t scare her as much as it should have.
Still a coward, though.
Luc’s sisters, Tessa, Jillian, and Christina were much like Meghan remembered. They were each older than she and Luc but had aged well. Like when they were younger, Jillian and Christina warmed right up to Meghan. They smiled, hugged her, and the children, and made Meghan feel at home.
Tessa, however, was just like her old self.
Meghan hadn’t needed Luc’s warning when it came to his eldest sister’s feelings, considering the cold shoulder and even colder looks Tessa gave her, even with Maggie and the rest looking on.
Ouch.
She still wasn’t sure what she’d done to Tessa in this life, or even a past one, but whatever it was, Meghan knew she’d need to get past it. Luc loved her. Loved her. And if she could get her head out of her ass, she could have a future with him.
Any future with him would have to include Tessa—cold glares and all.
“We’re eating in the dining room today since there are so many of us,” Maggie said as she put her arm around Cliff’s shoulders. Cliff didn’t pull away. Instead, he smiled at her.
Meghan held back a relieved breath, and from the look in Luc’s eyes, he hadn’t missed the action either. Progress, she thought, progress. Maggie pulled Cliff toward the table and sat him right beside her. Meghan ended up sitting between Sasha and Luc with Tessa directly in front of her. She didn’t think it was an accident the other woman had chosen to sit there.
Oh boy, this was going to be fun.
They ate a feast of fried chicken, beef roast, two different kinds of potatoes, and three different kinds of vegetables. She ate well at Montgomery dinners, but Maggie Dodd knew how to cook. When she told her that, Maggie beamed with pleasure.
Luc leaned over and kissed Meghan’s temple. Warmth spread through her, and she turned her head to smile at him. It wasn’t as weird as she thought it would be, joining his family for dinner as if they were a couple with a bright future.
Because, if she let herself be happy, let herself be loved, they did have a bright future.
Luc had spent countless dinners with her family already. He’d spent many nights at her house eating with her kids as well. She knew part of the reason he felt so at home with the Montgomerys was because of her brothers and the fact that he’d done it so many times before she and Luc even thought of being a couple.
“So, is this serious?”
Meghan blinked and turned toward Tessa, though not so fast that she missed the tightening around Luc’s eyes.
“Huh?” She hadn’t been quite prepared for Tessa’s question. Sasha leaned into her, and Meghan slid her arm around her daughter.
“Is this serious?” Tessa asked again, a spark of anger in her eyes. “I mean you’re here with your children, parading around like you’re a married couple and whatnot. Is this serious?”
“Tessa. Stop it.”
Meghan cleared her throat and put her hand on Luc’s knee. “No, Luc. Let’s just get this out of the way.” She leaned down and kissed Sasha’s hair. “Can you and Cliff go watch TV in the living room for a minute? As long as it’s okay with Ms. Maggie.”
Maggie narrowed her eyes at her eldest daughter then nodded. “Go ahead, babies. This won’t take long.”
Cliff and Sasha left, allowing Meghan to rein in her emotions. She wasn’t the Meghan she’d been even six months ago. She’d grown, found the confidence she never thought she had, and wouldn’t sit back and let this woman’s attitude ruin anything she had with Luc. Whatever else was going on with Tessa, this wasn’t truly about Meghan. She understood that. However, she needed to stand up for herself.
“Now that my children are out of the room, I can answer your highly inappropriate question.”
Tessa cocked her head, her eyebrows raised. “How is it inappropriate? You’re dating my brother and now parading your family around here like you’re part of us. That’s fine, I gues
s, if you’re going to be here for longer than a weekend of fun. But how do we know that? You were friends with him for years without ever being with him, and now you’re all over him. It makes me suspicious. I mean I know you have issues with your ex, but how is that Luc’s problem? He’s spending more and more time with you helping deal with your kids and your ex that he’s not focusing on himself. Do you even know he’s had problems at work because he’s with you? Do you even care?”
Meghan took a deep breath, squeezing Luc’s knee so he would let her speak first.
“Wow, that is a lot of hate in one diatribe. I’m sorry you feel that way about me, that you have so little trust in a relationship that has nothing to do with you, that you feel it’s okay to lash out like that. However, you are not part of this relationship. You weren’t when we were younger and only friends, and you aren’t now.”
“You broke my brother’s heart and made him leave Denver,” Tessa snapped.
“Tessa. You know better than that,” Luc cut in, his voice low, angry.
“I’ve got this, Luc.” She let her gaze leave Tessa’s so she could meet Luc’s. She patted his cheek and smiled. “I’ve got this,” she repeated.
From the look in his eyes, she knew she’d annoyed him, perhaps even hurt him in that she wouldn’t let him take care of her, but she needed to do this. If she didn’t, Tessa would never back down. Of course, she might not ever back down anyway, but that wasn’t going to be Meghan’s issue after this.
“I didn’t know Luc’s feelings then.” Meghan surprised herself at how calm she sounded. It hurt like hell that she’d broken his heart when they were younger, but she hadn’t known. Hadn’t seen. He hadn’t told her. This was now, and they were all grown up and different people. “However, whatever happened back then, I did not force him to move away. Not in the way you’re thinking. Now I might have missed out on him in my life for ten years, and I will always regret that, but I got my children in the middle of it all. I can’t forget that fact either. I don’t know what your problem with me is. It could be that you knew Luc’s feelings for me back then, but I didn’t know.”
“It doesn’t make it better,” Tessa snapped.
“It makes it mine. This is not your relationship. What happened in the past is over and is between Luc and me. However, you said something about my children, and that is something I cannot ignore. You can hate me and not want me for Luc, but you will never say anything negative about my children or the situation they are in. What happens in their lives and what my ex wants to do is none of your concern. Luc is amazing and standing by my side because he wants to, because he cares about me. I will never take advantage of that.”
Meghan raised her chin, her hand firmly in Luc’s. “If you’re going to act like this every time I’m around, then I’m going to ask you not to be near my children. I can take a lot, but you will not say anything negative around my children. Do you understand me?”
Tessa looked away, her chest heaving. “I want what is best for my brother.”
“So do I, Tessa.”
Tessa stood up and strode out of the room. None of Luc’s family followed her, instead looking as lost as Meghan had once felt.
“I need to apologize for my daughter,” Marcus said softly.
Meghan shook her head. “No, you really don’t.” She met his gaze then Maggie’s and their other daughters’. “I care about your son. He’s important in my life, in my children’s lives. And that’s all I want to say about that if it’s okay with you.”
Luc leaned over and kissed her cheek before pulling her into his arms. “It’s more than enough.”
She sighed, knowing it wasn’t quite enough. She’d stood up for herself and Luc, and for her children, and she admitted what was going on with Richard, but it wasn’t enough. She’d told Tessa her feelings but not all of them. How could she do that if she hadn’t told Luc she loved him?
Because she did. Loved him with all of her heart.
And she’d tell him.
Soon.
Chapter Sixteen
She didn’t love him.
Or at least she hadn’t told him.
Luc tried to not let that bother him, but he couldn’t help it. He’d bared his soul, and she’d held him close, not saying a thing back. Yet, he couldn’t be hurt by it. Saying “I love you” to someone declared his feelings. That didn’t mean he should expect a response. That wasn’t what it was all about.
If anything, he’d grown past what had held him back all those years ago. When they were only friends, and he was forced to watch her marry that bastard, he hadn’t spoken up. That had been on him, and he knew that.
Now he’d spoken from the heart and would need to deal with the consequences. He knew she cared for him and wanted him in her life. She also leaned on him and opened up for him more than she ever had before. They’d made progress, and he hoped over time she’d come to love him.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He was at work, for God’s sake, mooning over the woman in his life rather than doing the last few checks before they could punch out on the project site and move on to the next step.
“Hey, you ready to go through the checklist?” Wes said as he came up to Luc’s side. He had his tablet in his hand and a pencil in his mouth. Since the guy currently didn’t need the pencil because he had the tablet, it had to be a nervous tic of Wes’s.
“Just about.” Luc pulled out his notes, Meghan almost completely out of his mind until she came up to them.
“Hey, boys. We talking punching out?” She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back. He didn’t lean down and kiss her, but damn, he wanted to. Instead, he moved a fraction closer so he could feel her heat.
Wes looked up long enough from his tablet to snort then went back to work. “Yeah, just waiting on Decker, and then we can go through the list one more time so we can move on.”
Luc rolled back on his heels and smiled. “I love this part. Everyone’s moving around doing a hundred different things at once yet working like a team that’s been together for years. By the end of the day, we’ll be ready to move in the custom pieces and furniture for showing while Meghan can do the final touches she needs to on the landscaping.” He met Meghan’s eyes, and she winked. “Pretty cool if you step back and think about it.”
“Well, we don’t have that kind of time since we’re right on schedule,” Decker said as he walked up, rubbing between his shoulder blades as he did so.
Luc hadn’t spoken much to Decker beyond work issues since his wedding, but he knew he was living in his own dream world with Miranda. From the look on his face, the man was fucking happy as hell—even with how the wedding had ended.
“Stop being so gloomy,” Meghan remarked as she leaned into Decker for a quick hug. “Is my sister not treating you right?”
Decker rolled his eyes. “Miranda is doing fucking amazing, thank you very much. I’m just tired.”
Luc ran his tongue over his teeth. “Not sleeping much?”
Decker barked out a laugh as Wes groaned. “You could say that.”
“Oh, for the love of God, please don’t tell me any more about my baby sister than I need to know.” Wes glared at Luc. “You started it, and now you’re done.” He waved his hand between Meghan and Luc. “It’s bad enough I get to see you both stealing little glances here and there at work, now I get this from Decker. I swear our family business is becoming a little too chummy.”
Luc just shook his head and wrapped an arm around Meghan’s shoulders. She let out a little gasp then hugged his waist. Since they were trying to make Wes uncomfortable, he might as well have her in his arms while they did it.
“I know for a fact your parents kissed on the job site, and Harry even played grab-ass with his wife when he thought no one was looking,” Luc said. “He couldn’t help it. He loves his wife.”
Luc froze for a second at the word love but then let
out a breath.
“Yeah, well, we’re running a tighter ship around here now,” Wes said, holding back a smile. “You guys don’t do too badly with working together while you’re seeing each other, so I really can’t complain.”
“Thanks, boss,” Meghan said dryly. “So, how about we get back to work?”
Luc rubbed her shoulder then pulled away; the time for play had passed. They went through the rest of their list for the day, and Luc nodded along, answering when he needed to.
“I cleaned up the mess Steve left me,” Luc said a few minutes in. “He fucked up my boxes and cut wires. I had to go through the whole fucking house to make sure there wasn’t something missing.” He shook his head, anger radiating through his veins again at what the bastard had done. “It pisses me off that he thought he’d get away with it. And what’s worse, if I hadn’t noticed in time, someone could have gotten hurt just by turning on the power to the wrong outlet.”
Decker lifted his lip in a snarl. “I’m glad we booted his ass. The drywallers are pissed they had to redo part of the house, but it’s not my problem. Some of them just blindly followed Steve.” The man raised his chin. “That will not be happening again.”
Luc let out a sigh. “Good, because it’s fucking annoying working with a man like that.”
Meghan rubbed his arm, and he sent her a small smile. He knew she didn’t feel great about what had happened, but it wasn’t her fault that some wingnut had an issue with him.
“Our new supplier came in on time, and that helped.” Wes frowned at his notes but didn’t seem worried. “We’re going to be using them on the next project, too. Stan’s out of luck with this, and we’re done with him for good.”
“Good,” Decker, Meghan, and Luc said at the same time, pulling a laugh out of each of them.
“On that note, I’ve got to go back to work and get ready to punch out,” Luc said as he squeezed Meghan’s hand. “We got all we need?”
“Yep,” Decker said. “You let me know if you need another man. I know you’re short-handed today since Tommy called in sick, and you had to take extra time on Steve’s mistakes.”
Harder Than Words Page 19
