Choices (New Beginnings #1)

by Michelle Lynn

  "I just can't believe she took him back." Jason's shoulders sagged. "God! Look at me. That girl has taken my man card and left me pining like some girl."

  Maggie gave him a withering look. "Speaking as one of those girls you just insulted, caring doesn't make you any less of a man. Women don't own the book on heartbreak. Most girls would love to have a man that cares like you do for Michaela."

  "Well, I need to stop caring. She's made her choice, and now I have to live with it."

  "Did you ever give her another option?" When he didn't answer, she continued. "I didn't think so. Women aren't mind-readers."

  "It's over, Mags. I've always known she was still in love with him."

  "Oh, Cousin, just because things look set now, doesn't mean it's the end of the story." She patted his arm and left him to his empty bar.

  Ten

  It didn't take much for Michaela to forgive Chris for the previous weeks. After her dad left, she’d felt abandoned by her whole family. The one person she thought would always be there was wallowing in his own self-pity. Until Jason had told him, he didn't even know that Michaela had cut off all communication with her father - for him.

  They were both busy and had not seen each other for a few days. Michaela missed him. She got home from Legal Services late one night to find him waiting for her. As soon as she was in the door, he enveloped her in a hug. After a second of surprise, Michaela wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. They needed no explanations or spoken apologies. Chris was telling her that he was there for her and that was all she needed.

  She needed someone in her corner. Ethan was trying to demand that she go see him for the weekend, but she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Katie seemed to be everywhere. At work. At Legal Services. She didn't ask her about what happened with Jason because it had been pretty obvious. The way she disappeared into Mr. Bryan's office at lunch told Michaela that Katie's feelings for Jason were purely physical.

  Jason had reappeared in Michaela's life, but only for brief snippets. He kept saying he needed to talk with her, but she hadn't had time to deal with him. If she was being honest with herself, it was her own feelings that had to be dealt with. She couldn't see Jason without craving his touch. But, at the same time, she couldn't see him without mourning what they’d lost. Things had been so easy between them. She didn't realize it until he was gone, but Jason had become her best friend. She missed their hockey banter. She missed the way he would look up at her and break into a broad grin. There was nothing hard about Jason. He was sweet. After everything that had happened with Ethan, being around someone like him was exactly what she needed. But now she’d let herself be drawn back in to Ethan's world.

  Michaela didn't know why she went back. The past months in New York had made her independent and strong. So why did all of that disappear when Ethan walked through the door? Did she really love him enough to give him that power?

  Michaela's phone rang, and she muted the hockey game she was watching and walked into her room where she’d left the phone charging.

  "Great," she said to herself when her mom's number popped up on the screen. Her mom had called more than a few times in the past couple days. Sighing, Michaela swiped her thumb across the screen and brought the phone to her ear.

  "Hi, Mom."

  "Michaela, it's about time you answered this phone. Honestly, what have you been doing that has kept you from talking to your mother?"

  "I've been busy." Michaela didn't elaborate because she knew her mom wouldn't care what had actually kept her busy. She didn't want to hear about a job that she considered below the Matthews' name or volunteer work with, gasp, the poor.

  "I hope it's Ethan that has been taking up your time."

  Michaela almost laughed at that. Almost. Her mom wouldn't quit until her and Ethan were happily, or even unhappily, married. "Some of it," she admitted.

  "Oh, right, he's probably busy at school."

  "Yeah." Michaela was actually glad that Ethan went to school far enough away that he couldn't get to the city whenever he wanted. The downside was that he expected her to go home to see him when he was there.

  "Well, dear, is your brother home?"

  "So, he's still my brother then? You haven't cast him out of the family?" Michaela grit her teeth when she heard her mom sigh loudly.

  "Oh, don't be so dramatic, Michaela. It's very unbecoming."

  "Me?" Michaela laughed harshly. "I'm the one who's dramatic?"

  "You're father regrets the things he said, so we all just need to move on."

  "If he regrets them, he needs to tell that to Chris."

  "Christopher is a big boy," her mom responded. "He’ll get over it."

  "I don't think you understand, Mom. Dad needs to reconcile this."

  "We'll discuss it more on Saturday afternoon."

  Michaela rubbed her forehead, not liking where this was going. "Saturday?" she asked.

  "Yes, I'll be in the city and want to do a late lunch with you and your brother."

  "Fine, Mom."

  They made the arrangements and when Michaela finally got off the phone, all she could think was how relieved she was to have an excuse to give Ethan for not going to Connecticut for the weekend.

  ###

  Another Friday night was speeding by. The bar was crowded, and Jason was busy. He liked nights like that because he didn't have time to think about anything else. At least, most Fridays he didn't. Tonight was different. Jason fumbled through his work, unable to keep his mind on any one task. It had been a rough week. He was still doing his best to stay away from Michaela, but that didn't mean he hadn't thought about her constantly. And now it was worse than before. Now he could picture the way she looked, laying on her bed, waiting for him. The way she looked when he touched her. The way she looked when he pulled away.

  It shouldn't have been a surprise to Jason that Michaela would run right back into the arms of Ethan. The same ex that Jason had known she wasn't over. He let himself fall in love with a girl who couldn't possibly fall in love with him - at least not yet. It was his own fault. But, he would've sworn she felt something for him. It was in the way she reacted to his touch, his kiss. Like she wanted to give him everything but somehow couldn't.

  "Hey!" Katie shouted from the far end of the bar. Jason walked over to her but couldn't find it in him to smile. "Who pissed in your cereal this morning?"

  "What can I get you?" Jason asked, ignoring her question.

  "A shot of tequila and one for yourself. You look like you could use it." Ignoring his own rules, Jason shrugged and pulled a bottle off the shelf. He poured two shots and downed his before Katie could even say cheers. "Guess I was right," she said. "You need another."

  This time, Jason clinked his shot glass with Katie's and they drank together. Before pouring a third, he pulled out limes and salt. If he was going to do this, he'd do it right.

  After the fifth shot, Katie pulled him out onto the dance floor. In the back of his mind, he knew he should have stayed behind the bar but, dammit, he owned the place, so he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

  Katie pressed into him and began to move. She smirked up at him as his body began to react to her. It was like the tequila had freed him from overthinking, and he could no longer control his hands as they glided up and down her sides before finally resting on her ass. He held her tightly as she ground into him. It was the first time all week that his mind had been clear.

  Katie latched her arms around Jason's neck and looked up at him with a tiny smile. She kept dancing as she stretched up and fit her mouth to his. He kissed her back firmly. There were no fireworks or hints of something more. This kiss was one of primal instinct. In that moment, Jason didn't care anymore about his stupid dating rules or his romantic ideas. He’d never been with a woman for purely physical reasons, but he felt like that might be what he needed.

  Jason broke away from Katie's kiss and nuzzled her neck. "Want to go to my apartment?" he whispered, biting her earlobe. She nodd
ed and slipped her arm around his waist.

  "Let's go." Jason turned to lead Katie towards the door, and his eyes met Michaela's. She was sitting with Chris, Maggie, and Elijah at a table off to the side of the dance floor, watching the entire exchange between him and Katie. She looked at him one last time before jumping from her seat. Chris tried to stop her, but she bolted from the bar.

  Jason dropped his arm from Katie as Chris fixed him with a knowing glare.

  "What's her problem?" Katie asked, her mouth still swollen from their public make-out session.

  "I have to go." Jason left her behind and didn't look back as he weaved in and out of people on his way to the door. The cool night air hit him as he stepped outside. It was late so the street was mostly deserted, with the exception of yellow cabs flying by. The sidewalks, though, were alive with people moving between the bars in the area.

  Jason jogged down the sidewalk until he caught up with Michaela. She hadn't gotten far but she refused to turn around.

  "Just go back to the bar, Jason," she said. "I'm being stupid."

  "Stop walking." He grabbed her arm. "Just talk to me."

  "I'm sorry." She wiped her face on her coat sleeve. "I don't even know why I'm crying."

  "Katie and I aren't together." Jason watched her reaction to see if that's the answer she wanted.

  "It's none of my business," she said.

  "Then what's wrong?" He slid his hand down her arm to take her hand in his. She studied him silently for a moment before exhaling slowly and wiping her face again.

  "I came to talk to you a few days after we almost ..." she began. He waited for her to continue. "When I got to your place, Katie was coming out."

  Jason rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes for a moment before asking, "What did you want to say to me?"

  "That doesn't matter anymore. I'm with Ethan and you have Katie."

  "I didn't sleep with her," he said. "I found her at the bar, too drunk to get home. So, she crashed."

  "But tonight--"

  "Tonight was nothing. It was--"

  "Jason, stop." Michaela removed her hand from his. "I just ..." She paused. "I don't think we can be friends anymore. I'm sorry."

  With that, she turned and practically ran towards her apartment. Jason didn't follow. He stared after her until she disappeared. Texting Aaron that he'd have to close without him, Jason went home, alone.

  ###

  Jason finally dragged himself out of bed around noon. He had a splitting headache. He hadn't even drunk much the night before, but he felt like he was getting old. He couldn't even do a single shot without feeling it the next day anymore.

  Saturdays were always a busy day for him because the bar would be busy at night. He called them ‘turn-around’ days. He had to make sure everything was restocked and looking good. Why he’d agreed to give Aaron the day off on a Saturday was beyond him. He wasn't so sure that was a good idea anymore. Oh well. He sighed. There was no changing it now.

  Jason started the coffee and went to jump in the shower. He had to let the cleaning crew into the bar in thirty minutes. Back in his room, he pulled on a fitted blue t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans. He'd have to change before he opened tonight, but he felt like being comfortable at the moment. He pulled a comb through his ear-length blond curls and pulled on a pair of shoes.

  After pouring his coffee into a travel mug, Jason grabbed his keys and headed down to the bar. He was just in time to greet the cleaners. Once inside, he immediately started another pot of coffee. It was going to take a lot of caffeine to get through the day.

  The coolers were pretty depleted from the night before, so Jason got to work carrying cases out from the store room. He could have his employees do that kind of work, but he enjoyed doing it himself.

  He’d been at it for an hour when his phone rang. Fishing it out of his pocket, he saw Maggie's name and answered.

  "Hey, Mags."

  "How you feeling, cuz?" she asked.

  "Ugh, I think I'm too old for this shit."

  "Too old for what?"

  "Bars," he answered.

  "I hate to break it to you, but you own a bar," she laughed.

  "Oh yeah."

  "So," she said hesitantly. "What happened when you went after Michaela?"

  "I don't want to talk about it," he answered.

  "Come on, Jason. You need to."

  "It's done. Over. She wants nothing more to do with me."

  "Did you tell her how you felt?"

  "No. Will you stop with your pestering?" Jason ran a hand through his sweaty hair and walked back to the bar, where he drained the rest of his coffee.

  "Fine. But I think you'll regret this."

  "I probably will," he said, hearing a knock on the door and glancing up. Chris peered in at him with an older lady who Jason had never seen before. Jason unlocked the door and waved them in. "Look, Mags, I've got to go."

  "Okay, just think about what I've said."

  "Will do. Bye, cuz." He hung up and turned towards Chris.

  "You do know that I don't open for like six hours yet," he said.

  "Restroom?" The woman spoke up.

  "Mom, this is Jason," Chris said.

  "Bathroom is that way." Jason pointed towards the back and she walked away. Chris's shoulders relaxed and he sighed.

  "Sorry, man," he said. "I couldn't take any more time alone with her, and Michaela is at Legal Services." Jason tried not to flinch when Chris mentioned his sister. It was like salt in an open wound.

  "How long has she been in the city?"

  "About an hour." Chris cracked a smile and Jason started laughing.

  "Thought you were tougher than that." He grinned.

  "You don't know that woman," Chris said. "I told her I wanted to show her the area where I lived."

  "So, you brought her to your bar? Every mother's dream. To see where their son gets plastered and meets most of the men he hooks up with." Chris shrugged and Jason chuckled.

  "Leave out the men part, will you?" Chris was serious again. "I haven't figured out how much she knows about what went down with my dad and she won't talk about it."

  "Scout's honor."

  Chris's phone buzzed. He looked at it and scowled. "It's a client," he explained. "Will you tell my mom I'll be right back?"

  "Sure thing." Chris disappeared outside and Jason poured himself another cup of coffee.

  "Where is my son?"

  Jason turned with his cup halfway to his lips and grimaced. The woman was looking at him with an accusation in her eyes, but that wasn't all. Her eyes were cold, calculating. He suddenly had no problem associating her with the man who had barged into Michaela's apartment and said all those horrible things about Chris.

  "He had to take a call," Jason said carefully. "Would you like some coffee?"

  "I'll take an espresso," she answered.

  "Mrs. Matthews, I only have regular old coffee."

  "What kind of place is this?"

  "A bar, not a coffee shop." Jason handed her a steaming mug and sat down at a nearby table.

  He studied the woman who raised Michaela and Chris. There was a family resemblance, sure. From the color of her hair to the narrow nose and slight build, she was so similar to Michaela. But the similarities were only skin deep. Chris and Michaela were both relaxed and open, whereas this woman was stiff and formal. She sat with her back perfectly straight and her shoulders square, almost as if she had a plank of wood holding her up.

  Jason didn't grow up knowing his parents and had never understood when Michaela or Chris ignored their mother's calls or complained about having to go home. He would've given anything to have a home. But, just seeing this woman and knowing her husband, he began to get it. How had she raised a woman like Michaela?

  Jason tried to push Michaela from his mind, but he found it impossible with her mother sitting there staring at him.

  "So," Mrs. Matthews said. "You're the bartender."

  "This is my bar," Jason answered. Sh
e looked around and nodded.

  "I've heard about you from my husband."

  "I'm sure you have." Jason couldn't help the snarl that entered his words.

  "I know what you must think of him," she said, holding up a hand to stop him from interrupting her. "He is not a bad man. I’m trying to make everything right again."

  "I'm sorry if it's not my place to say, but shouldn't he be the one doing that?"

  "You're right, it isn't your place." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a long drink of her coffee. "You are a friend of my daughter's?" Jason only nodded. Mrs. Matthews sighed. "I know so little of her since she moved to the city. Will you tell me, is she doing well?"

  Jason shifted his eyes to the door, hoping Chris would finish his call soon. “Maybe you should ask your son about that. I don't know if I'm the right person."

  "Chris is not being honest with me. He told me that Michaela is spending most of her time working in his office, and seems to be very happy."

  "That could be true," Jason said carefully.

  "No, young man, it couldn't. Despite what she might think, I know my daughter. She’d never be happy in a stuffy office like her brother or her father. She is meant for more than that."

  They stared at each other for a moment before Jason asked, "What do you want to know?"

  "Is she happy?"

  "I think so," Jason answered honestly. "She does work for Chris's firm, but only part time." He then told her about Legal Services and would have sworn there was pride in her expression when he told her of the work she was doing there. He told her about her friends, only leaving certain things out.

  Chris came back in and told his mom that Michaela couldn't meet them until dinner. To his surprise, she decided she wanted to go see the place where Michaela was working and couldn't be persuaded otherwise. They took their leave of Jason, but before they were out the door, Mrs. Matthews turned back.

  "Young man, I want to thank you for being such a good friend to my Michaela. You care about her. I can see that. If things were different, it might matter a bit more." She left him dumbfounded. She’d almost managed to make him doubt Michaela's opinion of her. Almost.