by K. Webster
At the speed I’m driving, we get to the meeting place in fifteen minutes. When I pull up and park the car, I see Donnie and Bobby standing outside the bus. I climb out of the car and stride over to them, happy to see my bandmates.
“What’s up?” I ask, kicking Donnie in the ass as he steps onto the bus.
“Hold your horses, Chaz. You’ll get more of that ass tonight. I’m on bottom though,” he teases.
I laugh and follow him up into the bus. Looking around, I see our driver Ted opening cabinets and packing stuff inside.
“Hey, Ted,” I greet and wave to him.
The guy is about our age and not bad-looking, but he’s pretty shy. A grunt and a nod are all I get from him. I shrug my shoulders and head back to the bunks.
Sleeping on these things is an absolute fucking nightmare, but it is what it is. Typically, if we’re in a big city, we grab hotel rooms so we can sleep and fuck in real beds. This tour will be a lot of traveling, which fucking sucks. The hotel rooms will be few and far between.
When I hear a baby babbling as I near the back of the bus, a grin breaks across my face. I find the steps to the loft, where Bobby and June will be staying, and discover June nursing Sutton.
“Shit! Sorry!” I apologize and cover my eyes.
She giggles. “Oh, stop, Chaz. This is how my baby eats. You can’t see anythin’.”
I peek my eyes open and relax when I realize that she’s all covered up as she feeds him. “Where’s my nephew going to sleep?” I ask.
She points to a little bed propped against the wall. “That’s a little co-sleeper bed that fits on the end. It’ll feel like he’s in bed with us, but he’ll still be safe.”
I walk over and sit beside her on the bed. Sutton suddenly becomes interested in me and breaks away from her breast to turn toward me. Drool trickles out the side of his mouth as he awards me a toothless grin.
“Hey there, little guy,” I say softly and hold up my finger for him to grab on to. He latches on to it and attempts to pull it into his mouth.
“He’s going to love seeing you guys all the time,” June says with a smile.
I grin back at her and give him a kiss on the forehead. He’s so fucking cute with his big, blue eyes and dark hair. Bobby has brown eyes and June has green eyes, so it’s weird to me that his are blue.
“We’ll love having you guys along with us,” I tell her honestly.
She frowns and strokes his hair. “I know Neve wasn’t keen on the idea of us coming on tour because of Sutton.”
I put my arm around her and give her a side hug. “Fuck Neve, June.” Yeah, I’m still pissed as hell that she fucking played another head game with me today.
“Moving in on my woman?” Bobby growls in a half-serious, half-teasing tone.
I kiss her cheek and stand up. “Nah. Just saying hi to my favorite nephew. Where’s Ryan?” I ask and try to feign innocence. Truth is, my insides are a jumbled mess when I see Ryan, but I’m not going to lie—I like seeing her. A lot.
“She’s on her way. Something came up, but she’s about five minutes away according to her last text.”
I nod and bound back down the steps to where the bunks are. Neve is already setting her stuff into one of the bottom bunks. I know she’ll want me on the bunk above her. David is already sprawled out on his bunk texting someone from the bottom bed directly on the other side. I see Donnie’s backpack sitting on the middle bunk across from mine. And when Ted walks past and tosses his phone onto the bed above Donnie’s, I realize that means that Ryan will be sleeping above me. The thought of her above me makes my cock twitch.
“Baby, can you carry the suitcases in? These heels don’t do well on that gravel,” Neve tells me in a whiney voice.
I grunt out that I will and storm toward the exit of the bus. If she wouldn’t have worn such a ridiculous outfit in the first place, maybe she could have dealt with her own fucking suitcases. I stomp down the steps and run right into Ryan. She bounces off me easily and falls to her ass with a hard thud onto the gravel. Her face looks sad today, and when she hits the ground, tears fill her eyes.
“Ouch,” she gasps out.
Before I can stop myself, I’m kneeling beside her. “Shit! I’m sorry! Are you okay?”
She tries desperately to blink away her tears. Her bottom lip quivers uncontrollably. “I’m okay,” she whispers, and a tear escapes. She might be okay from the fall, but something is bothering her.
I swipe the hair that’s fallen in her face away so I can see her eyes better.
She manages to still her bottom lip and presses her eyes closed momentarily to ward away her tears. “Sorry I’m late.”
I take both of her hands into mine and stand, pulling her up with me. “I was late too. No big deal. Do you need help carrying in your bags?” I ask, scanning the parking lot for her car.
“I was dropped off. That’s all I’ve got,” she replies and points to one suitcase.
One fucking suitcase. It reminds me that I still have to unload all eight of Neve’s. I cringe when I realize that these two women are about to meet for the first time.
“I’ll get it, Ry,” I tell her and pick it up from the ground. I roll my eyes at my stupid nickname I just gave her.
In an effort to get away from the awkwardness, I yank up her bag and make my way back into the bus. She quietly follows behind me. When we make it to the bunks, I drop her bag to the floor.
“Looks like you’ll be on top of me,” I tell her, pointing to the bunk above mine.
Donnie chuckles from his bed. “Damn, dude. You move fast. Maybe you should buy her a drink first.”
I don’t have time to punch him before Neve is yanking back her curtain on her bunk and climbing out. “Who the fuck are you?” she snaps at Ryan once she’s on her feet, face to face with her.
I don’t miss the way Ryan eyes Neve’s provocative outfit up and down.
“Neve! This is Ryan, our bassist,” I bark, stepping in front of her.
Ryan’s gaze drops to Neve’s breasts, which are spilling out of her top. I’m embarrassed that, the first time Ryan meets Neve, Neve’s looking like a hooker.
Neve’s demeanor changes and she extends a long, slender arm around me to Ryan. “I’m Chaz’s fiancée,” she purrs in a possessive tone.
“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard so many things about you,” Ryan deadpans but never raises her own hand to shake Neve’s.
Donnie’s stupid ass starts laughing so loud as Neve huffs behind me and finally drops her hand. I punch through Donnie’s curtain and connect with some body part of his because he curses at me.
“Damn, dude. Lighten up,” he gripes.
I’m being a complete asshole to everyone today. I really do need to lighten up. “Sorry, Donnie,” I mutter.
He jerks open his curtain and peeks out at us. “Hey, Ryan,” he smiles and waves.
She flashes a sweet smile before heaving her bag to the top bunk and climbing up there. I’m awarded a view of her cute little ass in her tight jeans and my cock jumps to life. It dies a quick death, though, when Neve pops me on the back of the head.
“Really, Chaz?” she bites out.
When she crawls back onto her own bunk, I shake my head after her. This trip is going to be a joy if Neve is jealous of Ryan the entire time.
“Come on, Donnie. You’ve been recruited to help me unload suitcases,” I tell him as I leave the tension-filled hallway.
He grumbles out a complaint but follows after me anyway.
What have I gotten myself into? I’ve been on the bus all of five minutes and I’ve managed to piss off the lead singer’s fiancée. I’m also already homesick. I miss him. Shit, this was so stupid. And now, I’m lying down, hiding behind a thin curtain in an effort to avoid everyone on the bus.
I hear a lot of commotion as the guys finish loading the bus up with their bags and equipment. It isn’t until the bus begins to move that everything really sets in. I’m going on tour with The Aces. I’m the bassist
for The Aces. It’s a dream come true, yet I feel sick. I’m chasing my dreams and about to make a shitload of money, but I can’t help but worry that I’ve made a mistake.
I jump when my curtain is yanked open and a blond-haired, green-eyed thing peeks in at me.
“Hi! You must be Ryan. I’m June,” she says in a cute little twang. The difference between her and the bitch two bunks below me is like night and day.
I thrust my hand at her. “Nice to meet you.”
She giggles and reaches into my space to hug me. I’m startled, but I let her sweet scent envelop me. I already like her and I’ve only spoken a few words to her. She’s just so cute.
“Really, June? You’re standing on my hair!” Neve screeches from below.
June laughs again and releases me. “Oops! Sorry, Neve.”
She disappears, and I bite back a grin. I’d like to have a go at pulling Neve’s hair.
My phone chimes and I yank my phone from my pocket. When I pull up the text and see the picture, my eyes fill with tears again. God, this is so hard. I choke back a sob when another head pops into my space.
“Hey, Ry-Bear,” Donnie says, giving me a little tickle on my ribs.
I laugh loudly, my tears a thing of the past.
“Motherfucker! Can you idiots stay off my fucking hair?” Neve screams from her bed.
Donnie’s eyes twinkle mischievously. “Scoot over, shorty,” he orders.
I move toward the wall and he climbs up into my bed with me, stretching out beside me.
“Shit, this is a tight squeeze. How will we fuck in here?” he asks.
I elbow him in his ribs.
“Kidding! A little bit. No need to get violent. Besides, I’m already taken. June’s my girlfriend on the side,” he whispers conspiratorially.
“In your dreams, dickhead,” Bobby growls as he walks past us down the hallway.
Living in such closed quarters is going to take some getting used to for sure.
“I won’t tell,” I whisper back.
He laughs and reaches for a lock of my hair, tugging at it. “Now, I need your help with something,” he says seriously.
I roll onto my side to face him. His brows are furrowed, and he’s all business. “Sure, anything,” I assure him.
I’ve only rehearsed with them a few times, but I already know that Donnie is the most fun to hang out with. We’ve instantly connected as friends.
He leans forward and drops his voice low. “We’ve got to figure out a way to off Neve and dispose of the body.”
Hysterical laughing bursts from me. At least with Donnie here, I’ll be able to lighten up some. He’s a jokester—exactly what I need to take my mind off other things. Like him. The one I left behind—the one who owns my heart.
“Surely there’s a desert between here and Denver where we can drop the body,” I tell him like it’s no big deal.
He laughs and kisses my forehead. “I like you, Ry-Bear.” Then he rolls back off the bed and disappears to the front of the bus.
Finally, I decide that I’m composed enough to join the others. When I walk into the ‘living room’ of the bus—which consists of a long couch and booth—I see the other bandmates eating sandwiches. June is in the kitchenette with an assembly line of ingredients, working diligently.
“Need any help?” I ask.
She turns and smiles. “Nope. I’ll bring you a sandwich. Go bond with the boys.”
I nod and take the open seat between Bobby and Chaz on the sofa. Donnie waves at me as he inhales his food.
“Hey,” I greet quietly.
“Are you excited?” Bobby asks as he polishes off his food.
I nod my head. I am very excited. But I’m also scared as hell. It’s one thing to jam out with the guys, but playing for sold-out arenas is fucking terrifying.
When I sneak a peek at a quiet Chaz, I catch him staring intently at me. The man confuses the hell out of me. It’s almost like, most days, he hates me. I don’t understand why. I haven’t done a damn thing to him. And other times, I get the feeling that he’s affected by my presence. I’m certainly affected by him. He smells so damn good—like a familiar cologne mixed with his own scent. It’s hard not to inhale him when he walks by—or times like now when I have to sit by him.
His eyes are full of silent questions as he attempts to see into my guarded self. I’d probably tell him anything he wanted to know, but the fact that he doesn’t ask makes me not want to offer up information. And since I’m quiet, he seems to be angered by that part about me.
“I’ve been working on the words to another song, Chaz,” Bobby says to him.
Chaz’s interest perks up. “Cool, man. One you want to record for the next album or one you want to introduce during the tour?”
“Probably both. I’m still stuck. It’s a love song called Without You. I think if we take it acoustic, it will blow people away. I just need to work on the lyrics some more.”
Chaz nods. “Looks like tonight we’re getting drunk. You always write the best shit when you’re wasted.”
June walks over to me and hands me a plate with a sandwich and some chips. “Here, babe. Now, make room for me.”
Reluctantly, I scoot closer to Chaz so June can sit by Bobby. Our thighs are now touching and my leg is practically burning from our proximity. After picking up my sandwich, I take a small bite and try to still my fluttering heart. I’m not sure why he does this to my body, but it happens every single time. I must be a glutton for punishment because this guy is essentially my coworker and he also has a fiancée. Like, he can’t be any more forbidden if he tried. And I act like a teenage girl every time I see him. I’m like a fucking groupie.
I swallow down what I chewed and steal another glance at him. His eyes are on my mouth, slowly making their way back to mine. My heart does a flip-flop.
“I could help you, Bobby,” I murmur.
Bobby leans forward to see me better, and I reluctantly drag my attention from Chaz’s intense glare.
“Have you written songs before?” he asks.
“A few. I could always try. Do you have them written down somewhere?” I question.
He pops up and disappears to the back of the bus.
“I usually help with this part,” Chaz grumbles.
And this is why I can’t fucking relax. He always seems angered by everything I do. It’s starting to grate on my nerves.
“I’m sorry, but I thought I was a part of this band too,” I snap and send him the bitchiest look I can muster.
Donnie laughs as Bobby reenters the room with a bundled baby in tow. “Sutton woke up, babe,” he tells June. She reaches for him and efficiently latches him to her so he can nurse.
Bobby hands me a notebook that’s turned to a page he’s been working on. While I quickly scan through the lyrics, Bobby picks up his acoustic guitar that’s lying on the table by Donnie and sits down beside his family. He starts strumming the chords to the newest song he’s been working on. When Chaz’s low voice starts singing the first couple of verses, a flutter of excitement makes it straight to my core. His voice does things to me.
Lost in a sea without you.
Gone is me without you.
I’m a mess, a confusing fucking mess when you’re not around.
I’ll never be without you.
Life is empty without you.
Death is reality without you.
You’re on my heart and mind, such a sweet, sweet sound.
But silence is death without you.
Between Bobby’s perfect strumming and Chaz’s sexy voice, the song gives me chills. Chaz quits singing once he reaches the end of the lyrics, but Bobby continues on playing. I close my eyes and start singing my own lyrics before I can stop myself.
My heart is a void without you.
This mind of mine is black without you.
You claimed my soul forevermore.
Feelings are cold without you.
My spirit is dead without you.
&nb
sp; Gone is my heart without you.
I’ve never had a love like this before.
But everything’s empty without you.
I chuckle when the guitar strumming stops and the room is silent. “Guys, I was just playing around,” I say quickly.
“Holy shit,” Donnie mutters.
I snap my head in his direction. “What?” I demand. I was just messing around. What if I just committed a major faux pas? It’s so difficult trying to figure out a way to fit in with guys who have been playing together since they were teenagers. I don’t know their group dynamic and I’m just trying my hardest to be a part of the band.
“Ry-Bear, you fucking blew the roof off this bus!” Donnie exclaims.
My heart thuds in my chest.
“You didn’t tell us you could sing,” Bobby says quietly.
I nervously chew on my lip. “I don’t sing that well—that’s why I stick to the bass. I was just trying to fill in the blanks to your lyrics. I just—” I stammer out, but I’m interrupted by Chaz.
“You’re fucking amazing,” he growls almost angrily.
The deep grumble of his voice sends my heart into a frenzy of beats. I turn my head to him and smile. For some reason, his approval means more than anyone’s.
“Yeah. That’s why this song just became a fucking duet,” Bobby states.
“No, I don’t sing in front of people—well, besides you guys. Look, I was just trying to help,” I try to explain. “I play the bass. I’m not a singer!”
Bobby holds up a hand. “Ryan, you’re fucking amazing. Your voice will add something new to our music. This song is all you and Chaz.”
I beam at him. Even though I’m scared as hell to sing in front of thousands of people, I feel proud that the guitarist of the freaking Aces is gushing over my voice. You’d have to be an idiot not to want to give yourself a little pat on the back.
“Really? Okay. I guess so,” I tell him nervously.
“Ew, no. You’re an all-man band and suddenly you have a girl singing? Your fans will hate it,” Neve says nastily from the hallway. I didn’t realize she was standing there until now.
