by H. M. Ward
I was going to be sick. Did they really kiss their own kind? I couldn’t watch him kill someone. I couldn’t. I pushed my voice through the bond. Collin. Don’t. Please don’t.
Collin turned his face towards mine. His expression was animalistic. Enraged. His eyes were rimmed in crimson, and were pooling blood red. A shiver ran down my spine, as the bond surged through me. It was stronger than the last time I saw him. We weren’t coming apart this time. I could feel it. Shoving my fear down, I stepped over the Valefar that had been chasing me, making my way to Collin. I held my hand out to him and said, “Let’s go.”
A jagged edged knife was in Collin’s hand, lingering dangerously close to his victim. It was a brimstone-laced weapon that Eric had once mentioned. It was crude bearing a jagged edge that looked like it was bitten with pointy teeth. The edge of the blade was lined in solid black - brimstone. I walked away slowly hoping that the bond would help. And it did. The bond pulled Collin into step behind me. After a few paces, his eyes started to return to normal. A faint red ring remained, but his bloodlust eased as his breathing slowed.
He terrified me. Every urge in my body told me to run from him and never look back, but the bond wasn’t the only thing holding me there. I needed to know he was alright. I had to see him again. My heart raced as we walked quietly. I forced my feet to maintain a normal pace, trying to suppress my fear. I was so going to need a shrink if I lived through this. Eric was right. I suppressed everything. I hoped that this wouldn’t blow up in my face.
He cleared his throat. “They deserved to die, Ivy. They betrayed their own kind. And, I know what they were going to do to you.” His face was contorted with anger.
I ignored his statement, not wanting to think about him killing them or anyone else. “Were you following me?” I asked. My heart was still racing. “And what’s this?” I pointed toward the gold bracelet. It had three big rubies on it. It was really ugly.
He nodded, knowing he couldn’t lie to me. “Yeah, I’ve been following you. And that will protect you,” he gestured toward the bracelet. “Leave it.” He began to pull me away from the school as he spoke.
I had no choice but to follow, as the bond tugged me along with him. Irritation shot through me. “We’re stuck together, Collin. Tell me what this is. Now.” I pointed to the bracelet.
“It’ll hide you,” he explained. “We use those to train our best fighters to track Martis. The rubies are infused with darkness—shadow. They mask the wearer, so they can’t be seen. It makes the Valefar learn to rely on their other senses to track Martis.” Stopping abruptly, he turned me to him. “They are looking for you. All of them. The Valefar want you, and the painting. They mean to take it by any means necessary. They think you have it.”
My stomach sank. “What painting?” He looked at me, seeing the memory of the prophecy flash across my mind. He saw my hands take it, roll it tightly, and then throwing it. Damn it. I couldn’t hide anything from him.
“I suspect you know which painting. And you have it?” Collin’s eyes were completely blue. He looked sane again.
I nodded. “Why do they want it? And me?”
“Jake wants you. He suspects something. He can’t be sure until he sees you. I’m not entirely sure of you either.” He continued to pull me away from the school to a side street.
“Collin. Where are we going?” I asked. Worry pierced my stomach like a fishhook. I squirmed.
He pointed to a blue Spyder parked at the curb. “Car. We’re not walking. And you’re going on a different field trip today.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I was torn between feeling like I was kidnapped, and feeling like I was cutting school. Collin led me into a room. The bond pulled me behind him. The bond had tightened, so that we couldn’t part more than a few steps. The images and shared memories intensified. When Collin remembered something it felt like I was there. The entire memory flooded me: color, taste, sound, touch, and scents. Nothing was his alone. This new development went two ways. And it scared me. There were no more secrets between us. Well, that’s not quite right. There was still one. But, it was only because nothing prompted the memory, yet.
I followed Collin into a lush room dripping with rich dark colors. The walls, the floor, the desk even—they were all rich deep tones of amber, ebony, and mahogany. The carpet was that frieze shag stuff. It reminded me of a dog that licked a socket. He threw his keys down on the desk, and I slid into a chair. I asked, “So, what’s going on?” I was silent on the drive to—wherever we were. It’s much easier to shut up, when you can actually feel the person next to you short circuiting. Collin had driven us out east, passing by small farm towns, until we finally stopped outside a building surrounded by sod farms. It stood alone in the middle of a field. There was a spot of land behind the structure that rose up into a hill. It was odd to see a building on that flat landscape, but there it was, surrounded by sod farms.
Collin looked at me. His shoulders slouched down, as he leaned against the desk. “They know the painting isn’t on sacred ground anymore. And they suspect that something else is going on. Rumor has it that one of the Vatican blue’s, an important Martis, was here not too long ago. Those folks only poke around when something big is going on. We thought it was about the painting. But that doesn’t make sense. She wouldn’t be here for that. She’d be irate if she knew it was missing, and she wouldn’t have left. But, I’m not sure your people know it’s gone. Which makes me think something else is up. Either way, it’s attracting more and more Valefar to this area to find out.”
I arched my eyebrow and folded my arms. Knowing he was dangerous and knowing he was Collin, was conflicting. “Why haven’t you killed me? You’ve known what I am all along. You knew we were enemies and you let me live. Why?” My heart was pounding. I couldn’t mask my rationale: He couldn’t be all bad if he didn’t kill me, right?
“No,” he shook his head closing his eyes tightly. “Ivy, I’m not like you! I’m not good. I spared your life for selfish reasons.” His blue gaze met mine. “Nothing more.”
I felt something in the back of his mind. It wouldn’t come forward, so I pressed. “What selfish stuff did you want me for?” He shifted. His confident stance became more boy-like and unsure. I wondered if he was playing me.
His blue eyes flicked up to mine. “I don’t know. I just knew I wanted you around. If I took your soul, you wouldn’t be around anymore.”
“Why didn’t you just bind me, then? You could have had me around forever.” My arms folded over my chest. I tried to contain the panic that was rising in my throat.
“I could have.” He walked toward me. Pulse racing, I watched him approach. His beautiful body slid down next to mine. His fingers ran down my cheek. His eyes closed, and I felt him fight for control over his flesh. His inner-demon wanted to destroy me.
But, Collin wasn’t allowing it.
My voice was a whisper, “I know.” I found myself leaning towards him. It felt normal, like a moment between a boy and girl, when they knew they liked each other. But we weren’t a boy and a girl. We were natural enemies. I pulled back. “But you didn’t. I have to know why.”
He leaned away from me. The bond tightened, keeping him from moving away. “I wanted you.” That was all he said with no further explanation. I had no idea what to say. I wasn’t sure what he meant. He turned to look at me. “Ivy, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in eight-hundred and forty-six years. Binding you would have lessened you. And I like you the way you are.” He shrugged and looked away. He appeared relaxed, but the bond betrayed him. Collin’s emotions swirled within him, making it difficult for him to think. I affected him that much.
“So, you won’t bind me? You won’t hurt me?” I asked, uncertain.
“No. But the bond is trying to force us to do the one thing that I want to do, but can’t. I’ve never wanted a kiss so much in my life.” His expression was pained. He began to pace as I relived his memories with him. “The first year I kne
w you, I wondered what it would be like to kiss you and hold you tight. Then death cracked you when your sister died. I could barely stand to watch it. I wanted you to come to me for comfort, but you didn’t. I watched you in the arms of others.” He shrugged acting like it didn’t hurt him, but the bond told me otherwise. “Then I found out you were blue—a Martis—and I knew that we would be enemies. It was too horrible to think. As a mortal, it would have been easier to be around each other. But, when I saw you with that skater, slipping back into old habits, I couldn’t stand it. I snapped. He had the one thing I wanted. The one thing I can’t ever have.”
His words sank into me. Something’s different about him. He had similarities with Jake, but he’s different, somehow. I could feel it, but I didn’t know how. “Don’t think that,” he warned. His gaze shot up to mine. “I’m not safe. Never think I am. If I lose control the way I did the other night. Damn Ivy… ”
Sometimes I saw people who acted brave. To everyone else it looked stupid. There was a fine line between the two. I didn’t know which side of the line I was on when I walked over to him. I draped my arm over his shoulder, and spoke from my heart. I figured he’d see it anyway. At least this way I could be the one to tell it. He flinched at my touch, fighting to restrain himself. His blue eyes looked into my face as his fingers twitched nervously at his sides.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want you, then. I saw you watching me—sink,” the words were hard to force out. They’d stayed buried in my chest, packed away from everyone. “I felt like I was dying. I saw your face, and it was like I was drifting away. And I had to. The pain of losing someone. It broke me. I didn’t want to feel it again. I thought if I hooked up with random guys, I wouldn’t hurt as much. And it worked for a little while, but it didn’t last. The only real comfort I had then—was you.” It was quiet for a moment while my words sunk in. They felt raw. I’d never said it out loud before.
It felt oddly intimate to speak to him this way, but he meant everything to me. I couldn’t lose him. I continued, “I know who I am. Even before I was marked. I’m dangerous, Collin. The people who cross my path are destined for heartache and despair. I didn’t want to inflict that pain on anyone else. Especially not you.” I laced my arm through his, and leaned into him. I could feel his senses warring within him. A soothing sensation came into my mind and passed through the bond, subduing his thirst for my soul.
Odd sensations licked my spine as I sat next to the boy who wanted to steal my soul. I never knew I even had one until recently. I didn’t know it was mine to protect. Or share. Then I did something stupid. I acted before the thought could form in mind, knowing that if he saw it, it would never happen. But something pulled me, calling deeply within, and I had to. Looking up at his face, I leaned in and brushed my lips across his cheek in a single kiss.
The bond tightened and choked us both—then released. His heart was racing, and his senses were screaming as if he were being attacked. He turned on me. I jumped back knowing he lost control before he touched me. But I was too slow. He caught my left arm, as I watched his eyes pool crimson. Without thinking, I reacted, pulling my comb out of my hair. I slashed in a quick arc. Skin melted away where the tines scraped across his beautiful face. He jumped away from me. His hands shook and his eyes were wide.
“Ivy… ” his voice trembled as he spoke my name.
I could feel the fear rise in his throat. “Don’t. Nothing happened. I was stupid. I won’t do it again.” What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I do that? The bond was influencing me so much that I couldn’t tell what thoughts and desires were my own and which were coming from the bond. My hands trembled as I pleaded, “Collin, look at me.” His wide eyes took in my face. The crimson drained away leaving only the ring of fire surrounding his iris. The skin I had slashed with my comb had already healed. It was as Eric said; the only way to harm a Valefar was to pierce their heart. Collin had regained some control. Something else was consuming his attention, and it shocked him thoroughly. I could feel it through the bond. I could see it on his face.
My comb was at my side, and my hair hung over my face. I panted as my heart raced, thundering in my ears. My fingers held the silver comb tightly in my hand. Collin’s hands tangled in my curls, pushing them away from my face. I sucked in sharply, as I felt his emotions flood the bond. His voice was a mournful whisper, “Oh my God. It’s you.” Collin stared at my forehead, clutching my hair tightly. When I started to peel his fingers free, he released me, and stepped away shaking his head. “How? How is it you? How did this happen? It couldn’t have… ” He shook his head, as confusion overtook him. He focused on me. I felt regret as it surged through him. “Ivy. You’re the one they’re looking for. They’re hunting you.” His gaze wouldn’t leave my mark. He was mesmerized.
My heart raced. This piece of information seemed to change things. I wondered if I should trust him, or if he was trying to trick me—all doped up on bloodlust. He smirked. “I do lust after you in every way possible. I just can’t have you in any way possible. It royally blows.” His words didn’t roll off of me like false flattery. They felt real. I questioned my sanity, wondering what would become of us.
“Collin,” I said. “You shouldn’t say things like that to me.” I turned away, wrapping my arms around my body, pulling tightly. My mark. How did I become so careless that I showed him my mark?
“I figured I might as well say it. You can feel it anyway.” He walked up behind me, subduing his desire for me. His face turned more serious as he spoke, “Ivy, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you have demon blood flowing through your veins. It tainted your mark.”
I nodded weakly, “I know.”
He stepped in front of me, trying to see my eyes. “You know that you’re part Valefar?”
I cringed at his words. It pierced me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I’d denied it so many times, convinced that I wouldn’t be what my blood made me—a creature of darkness.
Sadly, I looked up at him and nodded. “I’m a freak. Trapped by blood, and destined to die because of it. I’m damned, Collin. I’ve tried to steer my path in another direction, but it doesn’t seem to matter.” I pulled my lips into a sad smile.
Collin watched me. “You didn’t want this, did you?”
I looked at him, shocked he asked. “Who would? Did you want this? Did you want to be what you are?” He looked away from me, as the tension flowed out of his body. Memories swirled around him of a past that I’d never known.
“No,” he said faintly, “I didn’t want this, but I had no choice. I’m a slave. The Martis are slaves too, but you—I’m not sure if you are.”
“What do you mean?” My grip loosened, as the tension started to ebb.
“The blood that binds the Valefar is demon blood. It gives us power, but it enslaved us. But you have both angel and demon blood. Are you dually ensnared? Or does the angel blood cancel out the demon blood?” I looked at him confused, unsure of what he was asking. “You can lie, right?” he asked. I nodded. “You’re not supposed to. Martis can’t lie—ever. Valefar have no souls, but you have one—and yet you have demon blood flowing through your veins. You’re dangerous because your power is unbound, and unchecked.”
“I don’t have any Valefar power, Collin.”
He smiled softly at my naiveté, “Yes you do. You can do anything that the rest of us can do—plus your most of your Martis stuff. I’ll show you.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. I don’t… I can’t be like that. I don’t want it.”
He took a breath before speaking. I felt the weight of his words as he spoke. They were filled with regret. “Ivy, you’re already cursed. Nothing will change that. If I could undo it, I would. I’d do anything for you.”
I felt the blood drain from my face, as gravity threatened to pull me to the ground. I steadied myself, reaching out for a bookshelf. Accepting my fate meant that I lost. I wanted to fight it, and that meant not giving into the Valefar part
of me. I couldn’t lose. I had to fight. “I can’t Collin. I don’t want to be - this.” I gestured at myself feeling disoriented. I didn’t like that he could feel my emotions through the bond, but I couldn’t hide them. I felt lost. Completely and utterly lost. “I can’t afford to make a mistake.”
He spoke urgently, taking a step closer. “But what if the mistake is ignoring part of what you are? What if the mistake is not knowing yourself? How can you fight to save your life, when you are denying part of you? It’s not like our powers are inherently evil, Ivy. You might be able to use them differently.” His words caught my attention. They may be Valefar lies. They had to be. His words sounded too perfect. Staring at his blue eyes I remembered that Valefar spun lies in beautifully elaborate webs. I wouldn’t know that I’d been lied to until I was hopelessly ensnared. But I had to know.
My arms were folded across my chest. I took a few steps away from him and asked, “What powers do you have that would help me?”
“I won’t teach you anything that will harm you.” He smiled. “It’s mostly little things, like this.” Faster than I could blink, he was in front of me. Nose to nose, I sucked in air, shocked and took a step back. My hand covered my racing heart, trying to shrug it off.
