“Then why is he back now?” There was something in his tone that made her straighten. He knew more than he was telling her. Secrets, they all had them.
“Why don’t you tell me? You seem to know more about this than I do.” Exhaustion weighed down on her. She was hot and sticky, her head throbbed from all the tension of the evening, and her stomach was in knots.
“His other son is dead.”
“Reman said as much.” It had come as a complete shock to her, but it did explain her father’s sudden interest in Esau. Of the two of them, he’d always paid more attention to her brother, coming to visit on rare occasions after he was born. She’d tried not to resent it, but it hadn’t always been easy. “I don’t care what you do to Helldrick.” The man was little more than a stranger, even though he’d had a huge impact on her life. “My only concern is my brother.”
“You’re protective of him.” It wasn’t a criticism, exactly, but her back went up.
“I’m all he has. Our mother was weak and left us to fend for ourselves. I was the one who took care of us. I never even laid eyes on Helldrick until I was five.”
She needed to stop talking. Being so tired and worried about her brother had loosened her tongue. And then there was Zaxe. He asked questions and waited, surrounded by a quiet intensity that drew her in. He wasn’t asking to be polite so he could get past it and talk about himself. Nor was he rushing to fill the silence. He genuinely seemed interested.
It’s a trap.
It had to be. Not like he really cared about her. She stood and rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. “Look, I know you want information, but I need to look out for myself.” And that meant taking care of Esau, too. “You can sleep on the couch or crash in my brother’s room.” She pointed to a door off to her right. “The bed will be too short for you.” It was too small for her brother but a larger one wouldn’t fit in the space. “But it’s cozy enough.”
Zaxe flowed to his feet, unfolding himself to his full height. At six feet, she was used to looking men in the eyes, but she had to tilt her head back slightly to meet his gaze. “And where will you be?”
She jerked her head to the third door down. “I’ll be there. Bathing chamber is in between.” Tipping her chin up, she glared. “Don’t get any ideas.”
His eyes darkened and the mood in the room shifted, becoming sensual. Or maybe that was her imagination. He cupped her chin and ran his thumb along her jaw.
Move away. Move away.
Her feet were glued to the cool tiled floor, anchoring her in place as he leaned toward her. “Too late. I already have ideas.” Then he kissed her.
Chapter Six
This wasn’t smart, but it was essential. She tasted like fresh mint, warm and inviting. Ever since he’d kissed her this afternoon, he’d yearned for something deeper. There was a sizzle in the air whenever they were together. Both of them were dancing around to try to avoid it, neither of them willing to acknowledge the physical connection.
He had a mission he couldn’t afford to fail. Not to mention Baraj was outside along with more of Reman’s men.
It all took a backseat to Jamaeh.
He ran his tongue over her bottom lip before catching it between his teeth and nibbling. When she gasped, he took advantage and slid inside. Not aggressively. It was much too soon for that. Her protective instincts would kick in and she’d shove him away.
And that would be a crime.
Instead, he coaxed a response, teasing her, encouraging her to explore. She was a contradiction—bold and forthright when it came to business, but guarded when it came to the personal. He wanted to know all her secrets.
The file he’d compiled had listed all the pertinent details of her life—personal data, education, and work history. But it told him nothing about her as a person. How had she coped with the disappointments in her life? What were her hopes and dreams? Was there someone special in her life?
Anger speared through him, hot and unexpected. He didn’t want to think about her with another man.
Then she moaned, gripped his face in her hands, and deepened the kiss. His anger morphed into a burning need so deep it jolted him. His dick went from hard to titansteel, making the battlesuit beneath his clothing too tight for comfort. He was more than ready to lay her down on the floor, strip her bare, and fuck her.
It wouldn’t be enough. For the first time in his life, he wanted more. Sex was a physical hunger, easily sated when the need arose. This was something altogether different.
She’s Helldrick’s daughter.
The reminder did little to discourage him. She had nothing to do with the man he was hunting. If anything, she was his complete opposite, taking care of her mother and brother because there’d been no one else to do it. Her public image was one of toughness, a woman who got things done, who’d go toe-to-toe with any man and come out the winner. And that was a part of her. But she was so much more.
Her home had been a revelation. It was an explosion of color, a garden oasis in the midst of a desert of despair. This was a woman who found beauty where she could, even though life had been unkind and hard.
He’d bet everything he had that there was feminine clothing in her closet, hidden behind the masculine garb she wore on a daily basis. Being forced to hide the softer side of herself to the world, it had condensed it, made it richer and more vibrant.
He’d bet good money that few saw this side of her. She was too self-contained. Most people spoke freely, loving to hear themselves talk and sharing information whether you wanted it or not. It made his job easier. But not Jamaeh. What little she’d offered, she’d immediately regretted.
This was a woman who understood the power of information, how it could be manipulated and used against you.
Zaxe wanted to make everything right in her world. It made no sense, but it didn’t have to. Instincts older than time had him shifting closer, his chest barely brushing hers. Using his thumb, he tilted her head back slightly and deepened the kiss.
The sound she made in the back of her throat had chill bumps racing down his arms. Made him wonder what kind of sounds she’d make if they were both naked with his face buried between her legs pleasuring her.
Her hands pressed against his abs and slid up his chest. He silently cursed the layers of clothing separating him from her touch. When she applied the lightest of pressure, he lifted his head.
Her eyes were slightly glazed over, the green deeper than normal. When she licked her lips, his balls clenched. “We shouldn’t do this.” The husky tone of her voice sank into the very marrow of his bones. Some women would play games, try to seduce information out of him, or use the attraction to distract him. He wasn’t sure it would even occur to her to do such a thing. This was not a woman who relied on her feminine wiles.
“I know.” He dipped down and pressed his mouth to hers again. They both groaned and pulled back at the same time. “I can’t seem to help myself.” The truth of that should bother him more than it did.
“Try.” When she pushed a bit harder, he immediately took a step back. There were many sins that could be laid at his feet, but forcing his attention on a woman would never be one of them.
“Should I apologize?” Would she admit to the attraction or deny it?
She pushed a thin braid away from her face. “Would you mean it?”
Since lying wasn’t an option, he shook his head. “No.”
“Didn’t think so.” She dropped her hands and gave a rueful laugh. “Not sure I’d believe you if you said you did.” Her hands dropped back to her sides. “Our … connection is already complicated enough without muddying the waters. We have to work together. You have your agenda and I have mine.”
Something neither of them could afford to forget. “We’re helping each other,” he reminded her. “We both get what we want.” And maybe when the mission was over, they could extend that to the bedroom.
“And then you’ll be gone.” Before he could speak, she held up her hand,
silencing him. “You know it’s true. You have a life out there somewhere, wherever you came from. I have no idea where that is and am better off not knowing, for both our sakes.” She tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling. “I’ve never been off Zaxus. I have a brother to worry about. Not to mention other complications.”
Reman was one of those complications, but he wouldn’t be a problem for her by the time Zaxe left. He’d make sure of it.
“I’m not my mother. I won’t lower my guard, sleep with a man, and then pine for him for the rest of my life.” Her expression hardened. “I have too much respect for myself. You want an easy lay, there’s a house on the edge of the city. Everyone pretends it’s not there, but everyone knows about it. Go there. Those women could use the money.”
With a toss of her hair, she started past him. He caught her arm, making sure not to hold too tightly. “You’re not your mother. You’re strong and capable. That doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”
What was he doing? He didn’t know her, not really. And he had nothing to offer, no home of his own. Sure, he had money, amassed painstakingly over the years he’d been forced to work as an assassin, but that was all he had. By the hells of Melton, he couldn’t even give her his real name. Not now that he truly understood the full significance. It would only put her in more danger.
And that was something he had to talk to his sister about. That conversation would have to wait until he was somewhere secure. His communicator was encrypted, but he wasn’t about to take any chances. He’d spent too many years protecting his sister to do anything that might jeopardize her safety and happiness, no matter how small the odds of discovery.
“You offering to stick around?” When he hesitated, she gave him a sad smile. “Didn’t think so.” She pulled her arm away, went into her room, and shut the door, the quiet click more powerful than a laser cannon.
“Fuck.” He’d taken a step toward the door before he realized what he was doing and stopped. She was right. He had obligations elsewhere.
You could take her with you?
Ignoring the voice in his head, he silently walked to the window and edged the privacy screen over just a sliver. There was a man in the shadows across the street, his back to the wall his eyes on the building. Reman’s men had arrived.
He could kill them all and then go for Reman, eliminating the threat to Jamaeh. Or would it? Too many people had seen her with him, knew they’d gone to see Reman. The authorities would be more likely to blame her if anything went wrong.
Frustrated, he prowled around the room, all his senses attuned to the woman in the other room. What was she doing? There wasn’t any sound coming from in there.
He made his way around the space, running his fingers over the velvety fabric of the pillows stacked on the low sofa. They were soft, but nowhere near as soft as her skin. Her face was smooth, the light brown utterly flawless. Her hands told a much different story. There were calluses there.
He gathered the mugs and carried them into the kitchen. There was no dish cleaning unit, so he emptied them in the tiny sink and set them there. Open shelving above the counter held a small selection of dishes. What they lacked in quantity, they made up for in color and uniqueness.
Jamaeh valued quality over volume, surrounding herself with the beauty that her life outside these walls lacked. Another reason to kill Helldrick. The man had abandoned his daughter. And son. But Esau was nothing more than a name to him. Jamaeh was real.
The lock on the door was flimsier than he’d like, but he’d hear any attempt to enter. After making sure it was secure, he went into her brother’s room. This was where he lived and where Zaxe might get a read on him. Was he like Jamaeh, a victim of Helldrick’s neglect, or was he more like his father?
When he realized he was rubbing his lips, he cursed and dropped his hand. Her taste lingered there. Their kiss had only whetted his appetite. His body was still hard, yearning for her softness. His neck made a cracking sound when he rolled his head, but it did little to reduce the tension pressing down on him.
As promised, the room and bed were small. A freestanding wardrobe stood in one corner. A quick search of it turned up a few changes of clothing and some empty space, implying Esau had taken some of his belongings with him. That was a sign he’d gone willingly.
Had he known what he was getting himself into or was this one big adventure for him? Jamaeh might see herself as tough and worldly, but there was a … naivety wasn’t quite the right word. Neither was innocent. But she wasn’t hardened or jaded by the hardships of her life. Hopeful. That was it. She still believed she could mold the future into something good.
When had he lost that? When had it all become about survival and keeping his siblings alive? He’d become cynical, expecting the worst from people. Bound to happen considering the types he’d been around his entire life.
A shelf held a couple of books, one of them a volume of children’s tales. He plucked it from the shelf and thumbed through it. The cover was worn in places, but it was in surprisingly good shape. There were actually two inscriptions in the front. The oldest one read, To Jamaeh, from Mother. The slightly newer one was written in a different script, bolder than the ornate feminine script above. To Esau, love Jamaeh.
His chest tightened, his heart aching as he closed the cover and returned the book to its spot. Did Esau treasure the gift or had he kept it out of obligation? No way to know, but he had left it behind. For safekeeping or because he didn’t value it? Or had he expected to return? There was little here to tell him who Esau was, but it appeared he hadn’t been coerced into going with Helldrick.
Remaining dressed, Zaxe sprawled out on the bed. His feet hung over the bottom, but that didn’t concern him. He’d slept in worse places. Where he wanted to be was two doors down. Was Jamaeh sleeping? Was she thinking of him or had she already dismissed their kiss?
With a grunt, he turned onto his side, adjusting the weapons strapped to his body beneath his cloak so they didn’t dig in. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, bringing his body back under his command.
There was no way for her to run with Reman’s men outside and him in here with her. She was safe … for tonight. Who knew what tomorrow would bring.
He pressed his hand against the wall. Even though the bathing chamber separated them, it made him feel closer.
****
With her ear pressed against the wall, she listened intently for any sound, but silence echoed through the space. The thick stone walls and privacy screens on the windows muted most of the noise from the neighbors and outside. That was usually a benefit, but now it left her on edge. Men were outside watching.
Was Zaxe asleep or awake? For such a huge man, he moved like a wraith. Gingerly, she eased back down onto her bed, resting her head on her pillow. The only concession she’d made for the night was removing her short, sturdy boots and cloak. No way was she stripping out of her clothing with Zaxe such a short distance away.
It was hot and sticky, and she wanted a whirl in the gel cleansing unit, but she wasn’t about to get naked, not tonight. Not with her body still humming with pleasure, leaving her hot and restless. And it was all his fault. Why had he kissed her again? Why had she allowed it?
Gripping her hands in her hair, she yanked on her braids. The sharp sting of her scalp did little to ground her. She could still feel the gentle glide of his fingers along her cheek and jaw. His hands were so big and rough, but he touched her as though she was precious. Special.
“Get over it,” she muttered. Rolling to her side, she glared at the opposite wall. On edge, she wanted to pace, but that was impossible. When she usually got this way, she’d drag a pallet up to the roof and watch the night sky.
Not happening with Baraj and Reman’s men watching the place. A shudder ran through her. Baraj was a killer with a reputation. She’d managed to avoid all contact with him up until tonight. Now she was in his sights.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She angri
ly dashed it away. Crying never did any good. Planning and action were her only options. It was something she was good at, skills she’d cultivated her entire life.
She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, which was covered in reflective stars she’d painstakingly painted there several years back for nights when she couldn’t get outside to see the real ones.
The plan was simple. Guide Zaxe to the Edowan Dessert, find the outcasts and her father, rescue her brother—whether he wanted it or not—and return home. She ignored the sick sensation in her stomach. Helldrick wouldn’t survive.
“Not my problem.” No, hers was keeping herself and Esau alive when they got back here. If Helldrick had anything of value, she was taking it. It wasn’t stealing. The bastard owed them, and she needed any cash or valuables she could lay her hands on to try to placate Reman.
Zaxe would go back to wherever he’d come from. Where that was, she had no idea. He’d shared little about himself. It was all about the mission.
That should tell her something. She pressed one hand to her stomach and the other to her chest. Zaxe was single-minded and focused. Traits she admired. Some would accuse her of being the same.
They were too much alike, too emotionally closed off and self-contained to allow another to get under their skin, to become a part of their life. Esau was different. She’d helped him be born into the world, cared for him when he was an infant, even though she’d only been a child. Her heart had still been open then, searching for someone to love who would love her back.
Fantasies and dreams didn’t put food on the table or a roof over her head, but a part of her yearned to have a man’s arms around her, to feel his breath on his neck, his weight against her back as they shared whispered secrets in the middle of the night.
For the first time, the man had a face.
If he’d been pushy or demanding, she could have easily dismissed him, but he was the ultimate hunter, luring her with undivided attention and small acts of kindness.
“Don’t fall for it.” Her guard needed to stay up if she was going to protect herself and Esau. The world was a hard place for the weak. Only the strong survived. And she’d always been a survivor.
Zaxe's Rule (Assassins of Gravas Book 4) Page 6
