“What’s up?” I asked Dallas as we began driving down the dirt road. His truck had been left at Mom’s before we’d been captured, and it was all we had left from before the fire. “Now you can tell me what’s really going on. And don’t hold back. I know when you’re lying to me, Dal.”
“It hasn’t been safe to talk until now.” Dallas chuckled, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel. “Everyone’s so up in arms about everything, words get twisted fast.”
I rolled my eyes. Dallas had been spending too much time with the Lowes, and he was talking in circles. “Is Major working with Ryker?”
“No.” The answer was quick and I knew it wasn’t bullshit. “Major’s too pissed that an old man made a fool out of him in front of all the packs to ever work with him. Now that he’s cheated death, as he sees it, he thinks he’s untouchable.”
“Yeah, what’s this about taking mates?” There was no way he could do it without stirring up some major shit. And he had nothing good to say about me hanging around Trina.
“He wants all us to take our mate. By any means necessary.” A chill spread over my skin. Dallas emphasized the same words I’d said to him and Baron about Kiera and Lyssie. “He thinks that strength can overcome wealth.”
“So he wants you to abduct already claimed female wolves?” I side-eyed Dallas, who nodded. “How the hell does he expect to pull that off?”
“Strength will pay more than wealth when money has no meaning.” Dallas imitated Major’s voice and shook his head. “He thinks the rich guys are weak, and they have no recourse. Pack politics go through the alpha and Southworth is corrupt as shit.”
And up for re-election. Which could make things interesting if those cuckolded husbands greased his palm. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” It was going to start a war in the forest, no matter how it shook down. “You realize what a horrible idea that is, I hope. You guys are getting awfully friendly with the Lowes every time I’m there.”
“Because you’re never there,” Dallas growled. “No. I think it’s an awful idea. A lot of those women are our friends. We’ve grown up with them. It’s bad enough they’re stuck in arranged marriages. I’d never rip them out of their homes and away from their families. I’d rather have no mate than one that hates me.”
Those weren’t the only two options. “How are things going with you and Lyssie?”
“She’s shy. And human.” Dallas shook his head, but the corners of his mouth turned upward. I was going to plant that seed as many times as I needed to make it grow. “I want to talk to you about that.”
Good. “Yeah?”
“You need to make Trina your mate.” Dallas had just pulled into the shelter parking lot, and he still hung on to the steering wheel. He gulped. My brother would never be an alpha, but whatever he had to say could be a complete game changer. “Soon. Before Major pulls off whatever shitshow he’s got planned. Set the pace, Shadow. Make the pack see they have an alternative. Give them hope. They’re just fucking waiting to die out there.”
I stared at the shelter. The girls had a chance to work on the building today, and the plywood had come down off of the front window. It was a place that was quickly becoming my home. “It’s just a word.”
Yeah, right. It was everything.
“Then do it.” Dallas hesitated before getting out of the car.
Chapter Twelve
Trina
“Our babysitter’s here!” Kiera exclaimed. The girls were trying to act like they hated the idea of the Channing brothers going home with them but all they’d done was gossip about Baron and Dallas all day as we put the shelter back together. Kiera looked out the window that Shadow had installed before he went to Sawtooth today. “Let’s see who’s getting a bedtime story tonight....Lyssie, it’s you!”
“What’s this about bedtime stories?” It never occurred to me to ask about sleeping arrangements while the Channing brothers worked security, but they sounded cozier than I anticipated. You go, girls.
“Nothing.” Lyssie turned bright red. My heart swelled, this is exactly why we were here. The animals were supposed to be a bridge back to the real world. The Channing brothers were the perfect next step.
“This whole thing is so ridiculous. We’re grown women and Shadow’s treating us like children. Sorry, Trina, I know he’s...whatever he is to you, but this alpha thing is going straight to his head. So as a joke, I suggested that Dallas tell Lyssie a bedtime story. He did it.” Kiera shot a glance over at Lyssie, who gave me a floppy smile in confirmation. “I had Baron do it last night, too. Let me tell you, he did not put me to sleep.” She fanned herself. “Ask Shadow to do it. Thank me tomorrow.”
Oh, she was smitten.
Hell, so was I. The love bug had bitten me right in the ass and a lot of other places last night. I’d expected all the ill side effects of having such amazing sex to swirl around and make me sick today, but it didn’t happen. No guilt, no self-loathing for actually daring to let myself feel good. No wondering what the hell a man like Shadow Channing was doing with a crazy old cat lady like me. Instead I was smiling just because, singing my favorite songs when they weren’t on the radio, and counting down the seconds until Shadow came back to me.
I didn’t have many more to go. My heart actually skipped a beat when he got out of the truck, like I was seeing him for the first time. I was always shocked he wasn’t a daydream, but something I could actually reach out and touch. More importantly, he touched me back.
A normal person would chalk this giddiness up to falling in love. Normal was a place I hadn’t visited in a while, and that’s why this was such a breakthrough for me. Shadow, in the span of a week, had shattered through barriers that an army of medical professionals, many pharmaceuticals, and a boatload of sweet animals looking for a home couldn’t come close to cracking. He was the miracle I’d prayed for.
The air in the shelter thickened when Shadow and Dallas walked in. None of us quite knew what to do. I bit my lip and twisted my hands together painfully to keep from wrapping myself around Shadow’s body and shoving my tongue down his throat. My eyes slid over to Lyssie, whose emotions were practically turning her inside out. She couldn’t even look at Dallas.
“Hey.” Shadow approached me like he forgot there was an audience, and then pulled back at the last minute. “Looking good so far.”
“Thanks. You have us working hard.” I stretched my arm behind my head, Shadow’s eyes fell to my cleavage that swelled out of the V-neck of my shirt. Every muscle in my body throbbed. We’d spent the day hauling plywood away from the building and painting the new storefront. I was used to physical work, but on top of our regular duties, I’d be crawling later on.
After my bedtime story, if I was lucky.
Shadow grinned, not lifting his eyes. “We’ll take care of that.” He snapped up, suddenly remembering the other people. Yeah, they disappeared for me when he was around, too. “I’ll be able to finish it tomorrow.”
“They brought cookies!” Kiera took the plate away from Shadow, offering it to Lyssie before putting one in her mouth. “They’re delicious.”
“Are you ladies ready?” Dallas asked.
“Yes!” They both chimed in like they’d practiced it. No one ever had to ask Kiera and Lyssie if they were done working twice. They were great employees, but when their time was up they were done. That was the difference between owning a business and working at one. “Want to pick up a pizza?”
Dallas held the door open for them as they argued about pizza toppings.
“Hey,” Shadow said again, taking one more step toward me. His hands slid around my waist, calloused fingers brushing my skin when my shirt rode up. My mouth watered, needing to taste him. We leaned in for the kiss in slow motion, I’d never craved anything in my life as badly and as his lips moved against mine, and it was worth the wait. “I can hardly concentrate on anything when you’re not around. You’re all I can think about.”
We’d barely parted. This was how I always
wanted to be. In Shadow’s arms. His hair tickling my face. “Likewise.” I could’ve melted from the heat coming off of his body. “How did everything go?”
He sighed, pulling away from me and running his hand through that glorious hair. “I actually want to talk to you about that.”
“That doesn’t sound good.” Before three weeks ago, I had no idea there was any such thing as a werewolf pack outside of local legend. But what I did know of them included pain, suffering, and violence. Not much else. Anything good I knew about werewolves came directly from Shadow. And that had nothing to do with the pack, it was him as a man.
“Major’s not working with Ryker, which makes it easier to focus on where these attacks are coming from. We’re going to take care of that on the full moon,” Shadow growled. I didn’t doubt in a similar manner to the way Shadow had taken care of the guy on my property. “Then we can finally put that shit behind us.”
I envied Shadow because he could have closure to his nightmare. He could confront the person who attempted to ruin his life and get the last word.
“I like the sound of that.” My stomach rumbled, Shadow’s scent drove me wild. I wanted nothing more than to devour him, push the piles of paperwork off my desk and invite him back inside me. My mouth watered, but instead of licking that musky scent mixed with pine and ambition off his skin, I pulled away. I wanted to hear what he had to say and it was too hard to focus when he touched me. “Let’s make dinner while you tell me the rest.”
“Will you let me cook?” Shadow wiggled his eyebrows.
Like this man could get any more perfect. “I didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.”
“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me.” He looked over his shoulder as he readied the grill. Shadow squatted down, his whole body on point as he worked. Power and muscle. I nearly dropped the tray of food I was carrying. Even though he was still human, he was pure wolf.
“Let’s take care of that.” Our eyes locked as I handed him the plate of hamburgers and hot dogs. He joined me on the stoop once the meat was on the grill. Tonight was warm for early November, but Shadow’s arm around me sent a shudder through my body. “Tell me a story.”
A slow smile spread across his face like a wildfire, melting away the goosebumps. “What kind of story?” he asked. We were totally on the same page. I had to take a deep breath before I pinned him down on the step. But then I’d never hear what happened today and we’d burn our dinner.
“Tell me what you have planned. Not just with the pack, but for yourself. You always think of everyone else before yourself.”
Shadow didn’t answer right away. “We’re going to fix everything here, then I’ll get in touch with my old clients. Build a new house.” Again, he was putting everyone before himself. It was completely admirable, but I was familiar with this pattern. I’d done it for too long and eventually I didn’t know who I was anymore. “When the moon wanes, it’s a restorative time. Time to put down roots, fix what’s broken. My pack can’t be strong unless I have a foundation. Lead by example.” He laced his fingers between mine and squeezed my hand. “It’s the perfect time to take a mate, lay down some roots. That’s what I want.”
He swallowed hard and waited for my response. “Your clients will be happy you’re back. And I can’t wait to help you with the new house.” My heart was pounding. The rest of it....I knew I had to say something, but the threat of fucking everything up beyond recognition was too much to risk.
“It will be your house too, Trina.” Shadow rested his forehead against mine, tracing the outline of my lips so lightly those goosebumps came rushing back. “I want you to be my mate.”
I gasped, pulling away from him. Sadness and confusion cracked Shadow’s face like I’d slammed my hand against a pane of glass. “What does that mean?” I knew damn well what it meant, so I had to be more specific. “I know it’s a wolf thing. But I’m not a...it’s...I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s okay. I do.” He attempted to smile. “It is a wolf thing, but it’s more than that. When I’m with you, I feel complete. All our lives we look for the piece of ourselves that we aren’t born with. The other part of our soul. And when we find it, we promise that person forever. Because without that piece, we can never be the same.”
My eyes burned. The sentiment was so beautiful, but that wasn’t the reason I was about to cry. “We’ve only known each other a week.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter. As soon as I saw you jump into that fighting ring, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My heart can’t tell time, Trina. It knows two things: never and forever. Weeks, months—that’s something that humans came up with.”
“However we measure it, our time together has been nothing but adrenaline and infatuation. Don’t get me wrong, I love every second I spend with you, but this isn’t a relationship. Yet. With the world raining down around us, it’s exciting to cling to each other. But what happens when you really get to know me, Shadow? What if this feeling doesn’t last?”
Shadow’s body rose as he took that all in, and fell as he digested it. “You forget I have a head start—“
“I know.” I cut him off. “But you must be seeing me through different eyes now. It has to be different as man as it was a wolf.” I stood up and flipped the burgers over, putting my free hand up in the air when he tried to interject. “We couldn’t argue when you were a wolf. It was like you were watching a movie. It wasn’t a relationship.”
“We could’ve argued. You knew I didn’t get along with Major, and you had no idea what our relationship was like as men.” Shadow walked over to me, and I did my best not to shrink away from him. That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t want him to go, but I needed to get him to slow the hell down. “I’ve never felt so strongly about a woman before. Human or wolf. Trina, it’s you.”
I had felt this way before. Or so I thought. Truth was, I’d never felt this way about Ryan. This was so much more. Everything with Shadow had been so amplified that he’d taken over my whole life. “Then we’re in no rush.” I wrapped my arms around him. His heart was pounding. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Thirteen
Shadow
She said no.
So it wasn’t a never no. But it was not right now. And not what I wanted to hear. Trina doubted me, and I needed to make that shit go away. Right now.
“What’s the difference?” I asked. Trina took the food off the grill, some of it falling into the dirt. She put the plate down on the top stair but wouldn’t meet my eyes. All the breakthroughs she’d had with her guilt about the accident had disappeared, replaced by the shy, unsure woman who didn’t believe she deserved to be happy. It broke the last piece of my heart. “You want this, Trina. Stop punishing yourself.”
“It’s not about that—“
“Then what is it about?” I cut her off. “Ryan wouldn’t want you to be miserable. He’d want to see you living the life that he can’t. Stop fucking wasting it.”
Her mouth dropped, eyes wide and unblinking. She took several deep breaths before she was able to speak. I shouldn’t have said it, but it needed to be said. She was letting her demons eat her from the inside out. I knew the shelter was part of her therapy, but it was fucking time for her to come out of her shelter and live her life again.
“I’m sorry if I can’t snap out of it for you. These feelings didn’t come with an expiration date. Do you think I want to feel like this? Like there’s a tornado brewing inside of me just waiting to destroy everything it touches? I’d do anything to make that go away. And don’t you dare try to tell me what my fiancé would’ve wanted.” The words were like shots from a gun, and it was possible that she may have hit me harder than I struck her. I’d asked her to spend the rest of her life with me and she referred to another man as her fiancé. He might be dead, but fuck, I hated this guy right now. For being able to give Trina something I couldn’t, then taking it all away and keeping it out of my
reach.
“What do you want, Trina?”
Fuck. I made her cry. She’d rather break down than tell me what she wanted. She should’ve known I’d move Heaven and earth to give it to her, whatever it was. That’s why I was so angry; I thought she knew that and she didn’t.
“I want...” She had to pause and catch her breath. Tears dripped down her flushed cheeks. The force field she’d put up around herself was impossible to penetrate. I couldn’t get any closer to her right now. She hugged herself. “I want to be happy. I want all the things you don’t think I do. To be normal. I want a brain that isn’t constantly playing tricks on me, thinking the boogeyman is around every corner. One that thinks everything that’s good is too good to be true. And most of all, I want you to want me. Not because you need a woman to show off to the rest of the pack. I’m not sure I understand the reasoning behind that, but I’m not gonna lie, Shadow. It makes everything between us feel cheap.”
Force field be damned, I was going to take a sledgehammer to the wall Trina was trying to put up between us. “I’m thirty-five years old. I’ve been with a lot of women—“
“That makes me feel even more special.” She shied away from my touch with a sad chuckle.
I caught her by the shoulder, and made her turn around to look at me, taking her chin in my hand so she had to look in my eyes. “Are you going to give me a chance, or are you going to shoot down everything I say?”
Her body relaxed, and I took it as peace offering. “Let’s try this a different way then. You make me absolutely insatiable, Trina. All I want to do is to make you happy. I want it more than my own happiness. When I see you crumble like you just did a few minutes ago, it’s worse than six months in captivity, beaten and starved. I can’t fail you. I will do whatever it takes to make you believe me. Every plan I’m making in my life includes you, and if it doesn’t, it’s not worth doing.”
“Nights like this make me happy.” Trina’s smile wobbled, her green eyes blurred through a wall of tears. “I love the way my breath catches in the top of my chest when I see you get out of the truck. I spend the entire day waiting for you to come back to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but you’re the thing I’ve been missing. Someone to sit on the stoop and eat...now cold hamburgers with me.” She laughed, and I knew I hadn’t lost her. “Last night was one of the best nights of my life.
Rescue Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #2) Page 7
