Magnus considered what she was telling him. “That sounds like a challenge.”
“It’s not, I swear, please don’t take it that way…hey, what are you doing?” She tugged at him, trying to haul him back up as he slid down her body.
“Accepting the challenge.” Magnus pinned Katherine’s wrists at her sides. “A Viking never backs down.”
“Magnus, I’m not joking, I feel self-conscious about…oh, my God.” For a moment, he thought he had her, but then Katherine lifted her head. “Did you hear something?”
Magnus listened. “Not a thing.”
“No, really, I’m sure I heard something. Let me up.”
Magnus stopped moving and concentrated on detecting any sound outside the bedroom. “Nice try,” he said, nipping Katherine on the inside of her thigh, “but I had the best hearing on my sub, and I detect absolutely nothing.”
“You know what, I’m thinking this is a bad idea, what if Dashiell does wake up…”
“I’d hear him before he opened the door to his room.”
“You might be distracted.”
“Katherine, I’ve been trained in hand to hand combat. Nobody is going to sneak up on me.” Too late, Magnus realized what he was revealing.
“When were you trained in…oh. Um, Magnus, listen, can’t we just…”
Magnus tried to think of a way to distract her. “Wench, be silent.”
“Excuse me?”
“Now you must do as I command.” Still holding her wrists captive, he bent his head and breathed in the earthy, intimate scent of her. Katherine started to struggle in earnest, and he looked up at her.
“Listen, Magnus, I know all women are supposed to love this, but to tell you the truth, I’m not such a huge fan.”
And Magnus, who had suffered through three attempts on his ex-wife’s part to take him into her mouth, instantly understood. Even if everyone didn’t like giving oral sex, everybody was supposed to love receiving it. But there was nothing less sexy than watching a woman gag and choke as she tried to please you.
“This isn’t about your pleasure,” he said. “It’s about mine.”
Then, before Katherine could protest, Magnus pressed a kiss to her inner thigh, then moved higher. He made the first touch of his tongue a question, deliberately not on her most sensitive spot. She remained motionless, but as Magnus continued to trace a circuitous path, he could feel the subtle beginnings of her response—a loosening of the thighs, a tilt of the hips—and Magnus paused, overcome by a tenderness so fierce that all the forbidden words bubbled up inside him. I love you. I’m a spy.
But Katherine misread his hesitation. “Oh, listen, that was great, you don’t need to go on.” She tried to sit up, drawing her legs together. “I know a lot of men really don’t like the taste.”
Magnus tried to think of some way to reassure her. “Why would I start this if I didn’t want to finish it?”
Katherine flushed. “Do we have to talk this to death?”
Magnus watched her pull the covers over herself. “Logan didn’t like performing oral sex.” He made it a statement.
Katherine closed her eyes for a moment, then shook her head. “With me. He didn’t like it with me, especially after I had Dashiell. He said…I had a stronger taste than other women.”
Magnus shook his head. “I like the way you taste.”
“Let’s just forget about it, all right?”
“I don’t want to forget about it. I like the feeling of putting my mouth on you. I like the way you smell.”
“Why don’t we just move on?”
Magnus shook his head. “You don’t understand. This is the first time I have liked it. It was something I did for my wife, because she liked it, because that’s what men are expected to do these days. I didn’t mind it. But I didn’t feel anything like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like I wanted to roll myself around in the taste and scent of you.”
“Oh. But I…”
“Shut up.” Pulling the covers away from her body, Magnus leaned over and plunged his tongue between her folds, thrusting inside her, feeling her small, involuntary muscular contractions. For the first time in his sexual life, he felt an animal wildness building inside him.
“Oh, Jesus, Magnus, wait, wait, it’s too much, I can’t, I can’t…”
She was pushing him away, trying to grasp his arms to haul him up, over her, but Magnus was immovable. Sliding his hands under her rear, he held her captive, something strangely primitive driving him now, seeking her satisfaction, her submission, her surrender. Holding her hips, he licked inside her with long, slow, determined strokes and Katherine gave a strangled gasp, and then he could feel her orgasm quaking all through his jaw, down his throat.
For a long moment, Katherine just lay there, her breathing uneven, and then he felt her body stiffen.
“Oh. My. God. Was I too loud? I wasn’t loud, was I?” Magnus kissed his way up Katherine’s body until he reached her face.
“You weren’t loud.” He brushed the hair away from her face, cupped her cheek and kissed her mouth, reveling in the fact that he had pleasured her so completely. And it wasn’t taking advantage, not really, since he’d been the one doing all the giving.
“Oh, God.” His hand felt something wet. Katherine was crying.
“Hush, Katherine, hush.” She rolled in his arms, spreading her legs beneath him, and Magnus realized that his unbuttoned jeans had slid down his hips, taking his underwear with them. There was nothing between them now; the head of his penis was one push away from entering her. In the back of his mind, Magnus knew there was a meeting, a timetable, a rapidly approaching deadline. He knew this was wrong.
And he was going to do it anyway.
Katherine gasped as he entered her in one long stroke. Stunned at the intensity of the sensation, he watched her expression as he withdrew. Then it hit him.
“Shit. Katherine, I’m not…we forgot birth control.”
“It’s okay.” She locked her legs around his waist. “I have an I.U.D.”
He pushed into her a second time, and it felt like the top of his head was going to come off. “Wait.”
She smiled. “I told you, I don’t want to wait.”
He thrust into her again, harder than before, and Katherine dug her heels into the small of his back, driving him on. She said something. His name. I love you. Magnus stopped holding himself in check. His rhythm picked up speed and force, became instinctive, animal, raw. His vision blurred and he had an incoherent thought about wanting her to have his baby.
He might have said something out loud.
She made a startled sound and arched up against him, and that was it, the beginning of the end, a wave of pleasure so intense that it bordered on pain. Katherine kissed his chin, the side of his neck, his chest, and for the first time in his life Magnus didn’t have to ask whether that meant what he hoped it did.
Magnus rolled over, chest heaving, stroking Katherine’s head where it lay across his heart. God, his hand was shaking. He felt as if he’d been shattered into a million pieces and put back together so that some of Katherine’s atoms were mixed in with his. How else to explain this acute awareness that made him feel as if he was still fused with her?
And then Magnus glanced at the clock and felt his body go ice cold.
Katherine propped herself up on one elbow. “Are you okay?” She touched his face. “What is it?”
He had done exactly what he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do. And in doing so, he’d lost all track of time. It was ten o’clock. Sitting up, Magnus buried his head in his hands. He couldn’t not go to the rendezvous. Ken thought the message was from Katherine. If the man thought he’d been stood up, would he even bother to come back the next day?
“Magnus, are you in pain? Tell me, what’s wrong?”
“I have to leave.”
“You have to leave?”
Magnus forced himself to meet her gaze. “For Chinese food. I’m
starving. Aren’t you starving?” Yanking his jeans up, Magnus tried to smile.
“You know, we can always order in.”
“Takes too long.” Magnus kissed her abruptly on the forehead and pulled his shirt over his head. “Be back soon.”
As he ran out the front door with his shoes in one hand, Magnus realized there was one thing worse than having to tell Katherine he’d been lying to her all along.
And that was having her think whatever she was thinking about him right now.
chapter thirty-one
a t five past ten, Kat got herself up off the bed and started to clean the blood off her bathroom tile. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to think about what had just happened. It wasn’t that she had had some When Harry Met Sally fantasy of being held all night long. But having the guy pop out of bed before the wet spot on the sheet had dried did seem a little abrupt.
So Magnus was frightened of intimacy. Kat scrubbed a last bloodstain off the tile floor and sighed. What else was new? She wasn’t some naïve little virgin, expecting that a few moments of incredible closeness in bed would translate into closeness outside of it.
Kat rinsed herself off under the bath taps, too exhausted to take a full shower. She found her favorite Mr. Bubble night-shirt in a drawer and put it on, then pulled back the covers and got into her bed. Okay, so he’d freaked out. She was a big girl. She knew how to be alone. And the sex had been great. In fact, there was something quite nice about having some privacy to savor a triumphant return to the land of carnal pleasures. Maybe this was an unexpected benefit to being forty. She could be attracted to a man, enjoy fooling around with him, and not feel possessed with the desire to insert the DNA of her life into his. Also, she didn’t have to worry about whether or not he snored. Or worse, whether or not she did.
Feeling too distracted to read, Kat turned off her light. It wasn’t as if she would have invited him to spend the night in her bed. After all, how would she explain it to Dash in the morning?
It might be nice if he stopped by her room when he came back, however.
At eleven-thirty, Kat began to wonder where Magnus was. He’d been gone an hour and a half now. Sitting up, she turned on her bedside lamp. Exactly how far had he gone for Chinese food, anyway? Had he been mugged? Kat contemplated other possibilities—an illicit drug habit, a gambling debt, a standing appointment with another woman.
Okay, so they all sounded pretty unlikely. But where was he? Even if she assumed that he’d eaten at the restaurant, this was taking way too long.
Maybe, Kat thought, I’ll just stay up to see if he brings back a bag of leftovers.
At midnight, Kat happened to be standing next to the front door when she heard the rattle of the elevator. Ducking quickly back into her bedroom, Kat then heard the front door close very gently. She considered a casual foray into the kitchen.
At twelve-fifteen, Kat acknowledged to herself that there was no way to pull off a casual foray into the kitchen.
At twelve-seventeen, she went anyway, opening and closing the refrigerator door, opening a new bottle of seltzer so there was a loud fizzing sound, clinking the glasses around in the cupboard.
Nothing. Could he be asleep already? She glanced at the clock, something which, she realized, was becoming a compulsion. Should she just give up and stop obsessing? It wasn’t as if he’d seduced her. She was the one who wouldn’t wait. She was the one who had to feel passion, and to hell with the risk of getting hurt.
Screw it. She deserved an explanation.
Katherine knocked on Magnus’s door.
“Katherine? I thought you were asleep.” He leaned against the door frame, bare-chested, wearing only a pair of low-slung, faded army pants.
“Look, I know we’re not starry-eyed young lovers, but you have to admit, what we just did was an extremely intimate act.” She tried to keep her eyes from focusing on his broad, muscular, almost hairless chest.
An expression of acute discomfort crossed Magnus’s face. “I know it must seem a bit strange, the way I ran out the door.”
Kat folded her arms across her chest. “You think?”
Magnus took a deep breath. “The thing is, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
Kat felt cold. “You’re not…it’s not medical?”
“What? Oh, God, no, nothing like that.” Magnus held out his hand, and after a moment, Kat took it. “Can we sit down?”
Kat shook her head. “No. It’s bad enough I’m standing here in a pink T-shirt. If there’s bad news, I want it standing up.”
“Katherine, the first thing I want you to know is…”
“I never meant to hurt you,” Kat said automatically. Then, seeing the expression on his face, she understood. “Oh, my God, you really were going to say that, weren’t you?”
Magnus flushed. “I’m not much good at this kind of thing, even in the best of times.”
“This kind of thing? What kind of thing is this? Is this a breakup kind of thing?”
“No.” Magnus closed his eyes. “Okay. Listen. What happened between us tonight…what’s been happening between us—that’s real. That necklace I gave you?”
Kat reflexively touched her bare neck. “I took it off when you bolted.”
“Of course.” It took Magnus a moment to regroup. “That was my mother’s. It’s important to me.” He hesitated. “You’re important to me.”
Awash with relief, Kat put her arms around Magnus’s neck. “So why the hell did you just run off like that? I have got to tell you, that was not a good move. I mean, I’ve gotten to the point where I figure, well, men vanish, that’s what they do.” Her voice wobbled a little, and she felt Magnus’s arms come around her waist. “But I wasn’t quite prepared for you to do it, too.”
“Oh, God, Katherine.” Magnus pressed her cheek against his warm chest, his hand stroking her hair.
Kat felt her eyes fill with tears, and she thought, I haven’t cried this much since I was pregnant with Dash. “You had me scared there for a minute.”
Magnus stopped caressing her hair, and for a moment, it was very quiet, the charged quiet that precedes the first clap of thunder. “ Katherine, I’m not a scientist. I work for the CIA. I was sent to get your help in contacting your father.”
Kat pulled back. “You’re kidding, right?” He was delivering it like bad dialogue, without conviction. “Is this Icelandic humor? If so, I could live without it.”
His face, like his voice, remained oddly devoid of emotion. “I’m sorry, but I’m telling you the truth. There’s a situation right now in Kyrgyzstan and we need your father’s expertise.”
In the end, it was his stilted delivery that convinced her. Actors and con men knew how to act natural under unnatural situations. Everyone else tended to behave as though they were acting. “Oh, my God. You’re serious.”
“The reason I had to leave tonight was because elections have been called and our timetable was moved up. I had to meet with your father immediately.”
“Wait a minute, if you needed me…how did you even know how to find my father?” She stared at Magnus, suddenly remembering the hours he’d spent with Dashiell. “You interrogated my son.” Her eyes widened in horror. “What did you do? Threaten him? Bribe him?” She slammed her fists down on Magnus’s chest. “What did you do?” Magnus made no move to defend himself and she hit him again.
“I swear, Katherine, I didn’t do anything to him. He just—He trusted me, and he just told me.”
“Oh, that makes it all right, does it?” Kat sounded as bitter as she felt. “He trusted you. I trusted you. Was sleeping with me part of the job? God! And I thought you were shy!”
“It’s not like that.” A muscle was jumping in Magnus’s jaw, as if he were clenching it. “Other than lying to you about why I was here, I’ve been completely honest.”
Kat snorted. “Please. So, tell me. How did it go with my father? Did you convince him? Or do you still need my help?”
“He listened to me
. I let him go, which will probably get me in trouble, but I wanted to prove to him that we aren’t going to hurt him.”
“Very noble. Of course, I can’t really believe anything you say, can I?”
“Of course you can.”
And that was it. The final straw. Shoving Magnus hard in the chest, she said, “Pack.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Pack. It’s what you’re going to do in the morning anyway, right? So I’m saving you some time. I mean, you have to go get debriefed or bug someone’s house or torture their dog or whatever it is you do when you’re not impersonating someone, right? So get a move on.”
“Katherine, please…” Magnus looked at her imploringly.
“Please what? Please be okay about this? Please excuse my deceiving you and using you? What for? Are you suggesting that you might actually want a real relationship with me?”
Magnus looked her right in the eye. “Actually, yes. I would.”
Kat laughed, an ugly, humorless laugh. “And how the hell would I know I wasn’t some tool for you? Maybe you figure I’d be some kind of long-term asset. A teacher of English as a second language, that has to be pretty useful. Maybe I can point out potential terrorists.”
“No. I mean, yes, by all means, if you think someone in your class is a terrorist, you should point them out, but that’s not why I want to be with you.”
Kat stormed past Magnus into his room. “Get out.” Opening his suitcase, she threw things inside. His jeans. A book. His underwear.
“Kat, wait…”
“I decided I don’t feel like waiting.” Deliberately repeating the same words she’d used earlier. Shutting his suitcase, she shoved it into his arms. “Now move it, before I call the cops on you.” She pushed him toward the back door.
Magnus looked over his shoulder. “Katherine, I’ll come back when you’ve had a chance to calm down.”
“Fuck off!” She shoved him and he stumbled into the hallway.
“I don’t blame you for—”
“Asshole!” Kat slammed the door in his face.
A moment later, the phone rang, and Kat snatched it up. “What the hell is it?”
Sex as a Second Language Page 21
