by Hettie Ivers
“I’m the Alpha of this pack, Alex. You’ll speak to me and no one else.”
“Alpha,” he mocked. “You conniving, power-grabbing shit. I watched you use my sister Lessa to gain a foothold within my pack. I watched you use your own sister to gain entry to the Salvatella pack. Seven months ago, I watched you use a little girl to overthrow Gabe and steal control of his pack. I don’t know what your game is this time—what you hope to get out of Milena by using Bethany—but it’s not going to go in your favor on my watch, I guarantee you that. You will turn Bethany over to me now. And if I find so much as a scratch—”
“I marked her, Alex.” My words came out sounding as cold and heavy as they felt in my heart in that moment—weighted with self-loathing and regret. “More than once. And she’s been infected with werewolf venom. She’s got less than a day before the shift starts.”
The line went dead. I suspected Alex had probably crushed the phone he’d held in his hand.
I teleported Bethy upstairs to my room and put her into bed. Then I went to talk with Mike and Avery. It was time to poison Lauren, the seer.
“I’m sorry,” I told Mike. I meant it. “You know I wouldn’t do this unless I thought we had to.”
He nodded and mumbled that he understood, which only made me feel worse. Mike had been in such a great mood ever since he’d blocked Kai from the seer’s mind late Saturday night. Once he’d fixed it so that Lauren had recovered all of the memories of Kai’s creepy exploits in her head for the last six months, he and Avery had been in the catacombs glued to the hidden surveillance camera feed on Lauren. Watching footage of Lauren repeatedly reject Kai and refuse to see him for the past twenty-four hours had become their new favorite reality TV.
But it had done nothing to help us with Bethy’s mind block thus far. Mike and Avery had made sure Kai knew exactly who was responsible for giving Lauren her memories back and blocking Kai from accessing her mind. And they’d made certain Kai knew what our demands were as they related to Bethy’s emotional shield. But based on the surveillance in place on the Reinoso pack, Kai hadn’t told Alex or Miles about any of it yet. He hadn’t even reached out to Remy.
He was too busy wallowing in his own embarrassment and guilt, and probably telling himself this development was for the best with his coed obsession. Clearly, the danger to Lauren needed to be far greater before Kai would be moved to take any action that might draw Miles’s attention to what he’d really been up to with the seer.
Mike and Avery had already teleported to Washington to carry out plan B when Alex called my phone.
“Congratulations, Raul,” he greeted the moment I picked up, sounding a lot calmer than he’d been twenty minutes ago. “What a victory this is for you. So, what—now I can’t kill you without risking Bethany’s life? That your angle with this? Here’s a newsflash: you were already off-limits!”
I jerked the phone away from my ear as Alex proceeded to shout through the receiver. Not so much calmer after all.
“The moment I laid eyes on your sister, I knew I could never kill you. Swallowed that bitter pill with plenty of good pinot a long ass time ago, I assure you. So you’ve ruined Bethany’s life and mated yourself to a woman you don’t love for no reason.”
“That’s not what this was about, Alex. This had nothing to do with you, and nothing to do with Miles.”
“No?” He laughed. “You mark your sister’s best friend, and it’s got nothing to do with her?”
“This is between me and Bethy. And I do love her, Alex. I’m keeping her.”
“She’s a person, Raul. You can’t just keep her because you want to.”
“Oh, that’s rich.” Fucking hypocrite. “You mean like how you kept my little sister?”
“I didn’t keep Milena, Raul. She chose me.”
“You stole her. You brainwashed her against me.”
“Well, it’s obviously more convenient for you to believe that.”
“Conveniently true.”
“You lost your sister because you lied to her. You betrayed her trust and behaved like an asshole to her. You used her for your own gain and then expected her to be happy about it—like you’d done her a favor.”
“That is not what happened.”
“It’s exactly what happened.”
“You have no right to talk. You held Miles hostage.”
“And you’re holding Bethany hostage—for the second time. Don’t take your bitterness over losing your sister out on Bethany.”
“For the last time, this has nothing to do with my sister, Alex. It’s between me and Bethy.”
Just like every conversation I’d ever had with Alex, this one was going nowhere. So I cut to the chase and told him we’d blocked Lauren Novak’s mind and had just poisoned her with a moderated synthetic nerve agent formulation that would kill the seer within approximately eighteen hours. Not a lie—Avery had tapped my mind moments ago to let me know the deed was done.
I gave Alex the ultimatum that the seer would die unless Bethy’s emotional shield was lifted in the next fourteen hours.
He was silent. Then he started muttering to himself in Portuguese about what an imbecile I was and how much better Bethy deserved.
I didn’t dispute the latter.
“Are you really this much of an idiot? Still? After all this time? I can have Remy grant me access to Bethy’s mind right now, Raul. I’ll control her shift just fine from here if I have to. Thanks for the heads-up on her shifting timetable, by the way. Now I know. I’ll be sure to clear my schedule for tomorrow.” He made an annoyed grunting sound. “Seriously, put Al on the phone already. I’m losing IQ points.”
He was bluffing. “Really? You don’t care if I kill an innocent girl?”
“What’s her life to me compared to Bethany’s? My God, it’s like you didn’t even think this through,” he complained.
“That’s your final answer, Alex? You don’t care if we kill the seer?”
“No. Why should I? Is that it? The only bargaining chip you were able to produce on short notice?” He laughed. “By all means, kill her. You think I’d trade Bethany’s life for Kai’s little college fling?”
“Fling?” I was starting to second-guess whether or not he was bluffing.
“As if I’m having some kind of ‘aw’ moment over Kai finally getting his dick wet after his century-long idiocy-induced bout of celibacy? Kill the girl. Kai will get over it. I’m sure there’ll be others now that he’s finally come to his senses and rediscovered he’s not actually a eunuch.”
“But she’s the seer,” I stressed.
“Sure, as much as I’m a seer and you’re a seer and the woman with a crystal ball reading palms down at the street corner is a seer.”
Wait—did he not know? Downplaying the seer’s importance to me and to Mike was one thing, but had Kai hidden the fact from his own pack that his little coed was more than a fling—that she was potentially the next great seer the werewolf world had been searching for?
Fuck it. I was getting nowhere with Alex, and I had a sense he was determined to keep Miles out of this situation right now. I needed to make certain that word got back to Miles quickly about Bethy’s present situation and about Kai’s “fling”—an alleged seer—being poisoned.
Curtly ending my call with Alex, I told Stephen to get a message directly to Remy and then to Alex’s sister Lessa. I’d spent eight miserable years as a human servant to the Reinoso pack. I knew that the fastest way to escalate anything within their hierarchy was to instigate a fight between Alex and his siblings. With that in motion, I went to check on Bethany.
32
Raul
She was awake, sitting upright with her legs over the edge of the bed.
The moment our eyes met, I knew something was different.
No, not something. Everything.
Her eyes were puffy; they looked more teal than blue. She’d been crying since waking up.
But the differences went well beyond that. She’d ch
anged.
She knew.
It wasn’t only the recent revelation about Alex being a werelock that I saw written on her face. Somehow I got the sense that she’d remembered everything she had once known and had forgotten about our world.
Everything she had once known about me. About us.
For some reason, the Reinosos must’ve lifted the shield already. And either they’d purposely given Bethany back all of her memories from a decade ago or, as Alcaeus had predicted, all of Bethany’s blocked memories had simply returned on their own now that the shield was removed.
At first, I thought maybe I was projecting. Imagining it. It seemed utterly inconceivable that the Reinosos would have caved so soon based on my last conversation with Alex.
I could’ve simply tried to tap Bethy’s mind to check for certain that the shield was gone, but I’d never been more terrified to probe a mind before.
I found that I didn’t want to do it.
Couldn’t bear to look. Didn’t want to see what I feared most I would find: Disgust and anger. For me. Disappointment. In me.
Worst of all: Pain. Hers—caused by me.
She hadn’t spoken a word since I’d entered the room. Hadn’t moved.
I needed to say something. “I—I didn’t know how to tell you.” I paused. Waited for better words to come.
They didn’t.
“I’m sorry. What happened ten years ago … the thing is … Miles … Alex … my sister’s pack … I asked them to—to lift …”
I couldn’t even string together a damn coherent sentence to salvage the love of my life. Each progressive word tasted more grossly inadequate and idiotic on my tongue.
I should just stop.
I’d already lost her. It was too late. The signs had been there before this. She’d tried to tell me for the past two days how unhappy she was—while I’d been busy shutting her out. While I’d been too preoccupied steeling myself against the inevitable loss of her to do something constructive that might actually prevent her from slipping away—like communicate.
“I’ve been so terrified you’d hate me … once you knew. That I’d … lose you …”
My voice came out wooden, sounding all wrong. Sounding false and unfeeling. And the burn was I’d never been so earnest, so sincerely present, invested, and desperate to bare my heart before.
Why couldn’t I do this right?
She didn’t say anything. Didn’t move or emote. But a fresh tear slid down her cheek.
Say something to her.
Something good.
Something meaningful.
But I could think of nothing inspiring or even remotely intelligent to express. The stakes were too high. My likelihood of failure too great.
Tears slid down both Bethy’s cheeks, catching the light from the gilded chandelier above.
Yet I remained an idiot.
I said the word “sorry” a few more times.
I asked if she hated me. She didn’t reply.
Panic gripped me, and I did something I hadn’t done since I’d been a kid.
I prayed. Not to God or to Jesus like I’d been taught to do in Bible school. But to my mom—that she’d help me find the right words to say.
Mom had loved words. She’d loved to read and share her favorite quotes from poems and literature with me. She’d been so good with her words. They had flowed from her, forever eloquent and ringing clear as a bell with their truth. Even as she’d been dying, she’d said such beautiful things. Meaningful things. Convincing things as she’d persuaded the paramedics to save my unborn sister’s life over her own.
And I’d stood there the whole time watching. Listening. Blubbering. Feeling impotent. Desperate to be able to do something to save her, while knowing I’d already failed.
Because I’d paused my video game too late. I should’ve gone to check on her when I’d heard the dish crash—the moment I’d caught the weakness in her voice. If I’d dialed 9-1-1 sooner, the paramedics might’ve come faster. They might’ve been able to save her.
But I’d been a fuck-up even at age eight.
My vision had begun to go hazy, so at first I wondered if I was seeing things when Bethy’s slender forearm lifted from her lap and her hand extended—her palm open and beckoning to me. Reaching out for me.
Then she spoke. And I knew at once for certain Bethy remembered absolutely everything that had happened between us ten years ago when she repeated the words I’d never shared with another soul but her before. They were the last words my mom had spoken to me before she’d died—after I’d finished begging Mom through my tears not to leave me, then stammered nothing but nonsense at her because I was in too much shock to know what to say.
“I know, Raul. I know. Remember, the small truth has words that are clear; the great truth has great silence.”
Bethy sniffled, her trembling lips forming a smile. “I saw that Rabindranath Tagore quote on a refrigerator magnet at the co-op market four years ago. It was written in fancy script over some cliché image—a sunset, maybe a field of flowers. I started bawling my eyes out right there in the checkout line, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why.”
She gave a startled giggle, and more tears fell, as I teleported straight in front of her.
Taking her outstretched hand in both of mine, I knelt at her feet. I felt a smile erupt on my face as my eyes watered too. Because the whole world was mad. And madly beautiful. There were people selling Stray Birds verses on cheesy fridge magnets. And Bethany Garrett got me. Loved me—for the sum-total fuck-up I was.
“I love you,” I told her. “So crazy fucking much, I don’t know what to do with it. And I’m so afraid that I won’t know how to love you the way you want me to. I remember what you told me ten years ago about your parents’ marriage—about growing up feeling like you were caught in the middle of a crazy dysfunctional unrequited love story. I’ve already messed up so much with you. I’ll probably fuck up a lot more still. And I can’t handle the thought of making you unhappy—of watching you grow to quietly despise me—”
“We’re not my parents, Raul. What we have—our love story—is so much more dysfunctional already.” She laughed and wiped at her tears. “And I want all of it. But right now, I just need to feel every hard inch of your fucking crazy coming inside me. Because I don’t want to waste anymore time living without you.”
’Nuff said.
We melted together, her soft parts meeting my hard aching ones, her mouth fusing with mine. I swore I could taste every emotion she felt for me in her kiss. And each emotion felt like a truth I hadn’t earned, a gift I didn’t deserve to keep.
But I accepted them anyway—consumed everything she gave me like a starving man as I vanished our clothing and shoved every inch of my crazy deep inside her. Because I could no longer breathe without Bethany. Didn’t want to try.
Over and over, I drove into her. Losing myself, while finding all the parts of me that had always been missing.
I drank in her every moan, her each shuddered breath, reveling in her body’s responses. And as I felt her wet, welcoming heat squeezing around me, pulling me in deeper with each heady thrust, I let the mistakes of my past go for just a moment. I set my outdated fears aside.
For the first time ever, I let everything go inside of a woman—my woman.
Mom—and Tagore—were right. There were certain truths that words could never do justice. Emotions no language could encompass.
Sometimes the greatest truths could only be conveyed in silence.
Or to the music of Bethy’s breathy I-need-to-come noises, and the sound of flesh smacking against flesh.
33
Raul
“Yeah, yeah, Mom. I know the Nazis settled here.” Bethy was naked, pacing back and forth across the floor at the foot of our bed, talking on the phone. “Yes, I have the American embassy on speed dial.” She gave me an apologetic look as Marlee continued yapping in her ear.
I grinned lazily back at her, engro
ssed in enjoying the view from where I lay stretched out on my side across the bed, propped up on my elbow, watching the sway of her hips and the jiggle of her bumper as she moved.
I was coming in that ass of hers next. My balls tightened at the thought of it.
“Well, I’m sure it looks that way, but I’m not the rebounder type, Mom. You know that.” She rolled her eyes and made a wrap-it-up gesture as she proceeded to pace closer to the windows.
It was dusk outside, and our bedroom was well lit. I shook my head. Definitely an exhibitionist. She was going to be the death of me with that shit. I didn’t share. So I didn’t particularly like the idea of anyone else even looking at what was mine.
But Bethy clearly enjoyed the thrill, despite her being somewhat in denial still about those preferences. I knew we’d have to establish some ground rules in order to make it work for us both. Maybe do what we’d done in the club the other night—where my men had surrounded us and shielded her from view. I’d probably start with fucking her in the garden maze tonight—giving her the excitement of potentially being watched.
Or … I could start by fucking her right now in front of the windows. While she talked to her mom on the phone.
I got up from the bed and stalked over to her.
“Yes, I realize the suddenness of it all must seem a bit unbelievable to you and Dad, but I need to spend some time with Raul here at his home. I’ll be back in a week to square things away with the hospital, and we can talk in person then, okay?”
Bethy gave me a stern look and shook her head at me the moment she caught sight of my approach—and the size of my erection pointed straight at her.
It was hard not to laugh. Fuck, she was fun. She was giving off a serious schoolteacher vibe with her expression.
“Mom, I really have to get going now.” She glared at me again, while backing up toward the window—exactly where I wanted her.
