As hard as Oakland tried, he was beginning to fail at restraining the manifesting anger he felt toward Deklan’s selfish parents. He felt his insides tremble, as if every vein and vessel was pushing blood at the speed of a train. He was falling apart, unable to stop the aching within him.
Deklan moved his hands to Oakland’s shoulders, squeezed once and then wrapped his arms tightly around him, hugging tighter than he ever had before. “I will always love you, Oakland,” he said. “Nobody else. As long as I live.”
With those few words, Oakland broke down, hugging Deklan so hard they nearly had become a single person.
How could they take him away? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.
Chapter 31
Deklan accompanied Oakland out the front door and down the steps as if he hadn’t cared if anybody saw them or not. Oakland wasn’t worried about it either, and held on tightly to express his disappointment in Deklan’s family for ruining lives that were sure to have been good ones.
Regretfully, Oakland left Deklan at the bottom of the stairway, walked somberly to his small but cozy coop, turning back to look at Deklan so many times he might have made the entire trip walking backwards. The appearance on Deklan’s face let Oakland know there was true sadness there. The separation had left a tremendous gap between the two of them, physically as well as mentally.
Horse drawn carriages with more favors presumed to dress the wedding function had rudely taken over the front grounds, nearly running over Deklan where he stood. Memories of Oakland’s mother returned and his blood started to boil hot. Deklan was his soul binding beloved and when he hurt, Oakland hurt.
All alone, Oakland sat on the wooden bench at his tiny doorstep. He hadn’t cared if the manor received the food it required or if the fat cook had been fed her grains on time. Oakland wasn’t feeling up to providing for the people who hated him and Deklan for who they were. Instead, he sat still and watched the commotion at the Manor turn full swing.
A covered wagon full of swans had pulled up, that time nearly taking Wattsworth out along with the man standing next to him. He bumped into Deklan while hollering at the swan driver to take the birds around back.
During the harried upheaval, Deklan climbed a few steps, turning to Oakland before ascending the rest of the way.
At the moment Deklan disappeared through the massive doors at the top of the stairs, Oakland felt emptiness inside himself—the person he was missing had left a gaping hole of saddened right in the middle of his chest.
Oakland had gone inside his own home, climbed the studded plank and fell face down onto his bed. Tears burst free, finding their place in the pillow beneath his chin. His boyfriend was getting married, to somebody else, and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it.
“Sure there is.” Oakland heard a voice, believing it was in his own head at first, but then sat up and looked around the room, expecting to find someone there.
Nobody.
Was madness settling in?
“Mirror man?” Oakland called out. “Are you here?”
Chapter 32
Deklan passed everybody running around as though they were losing control of their own heads. The clock was ticking and everything had to be done before the first wedding guest rolled in. There were eight hours left, but the way Deklan felt, there were only a couple.
He returned to his bedroom and locked the door behind him, breaking down the instant the latch clicked into place. He crossed to the bed where Oakland had slept the night before and fell forward against the pillow he’d laid his head on, breathing him in. He pressed his face deep into the pillow to muffle his uncontrollable sobbing, pounding the poof several times with clenched fists to relieve the fury that had caged itself inside him.
After all his sadness had been released at once, his exhausted body had suddenly gone quiet and he’d fallen asleep. Two hours had gone by before he’d broken out of dreamland, finding it unnerving that nobody had come looking for him or wondered where he was.
Deklan had sluggishly come to life with the aid of cold water splashed across his face, glints of sparkle trickled down, wetting the hair on his expanding chest as he breathed. While standing with his head tilted forward to let the water from his hair drip into the basin, he spotted Oakland’s ring sitting on the desk top next to the ewer.
Amazed the ring had come back to him that day, he picked it up and pushed it onto his middle finger. It felt comforting to have Oakland that close to him again. He spun it while bringing good moments of Oakland back from his memory.
After observing his drying reflection in the looking glass for several minutes, he peeled the shirt from his back and draped it over the one Oakland had worn the previous night during their kitchen robbery. He adjusted them on the hanger, secretly tucking the ring in the breast pocket, and safely hung the shirts on a hook at the back of the wardrobe. His holding Oakland’s as if protecting the man he loved who wasn’t actually in it.
Several more minutes had passed and he was pulled from his far away thoughts by an unexpected tap on the door. It wasn’t intrusive, but polite—sounding like the knock had gentle intentions. He closed the wardrobe doors and answered, “Yes? Who is it?” Bare chested, he turned around, hands behind his back, pressing the wardrobe closed to hide what was inside.
“Deklan?” It was his mother.
Thankfully, it wasn’t his father. He was in no mood for that man.
He snatched a nightshirt from the bed post and quickly slipped it over his head. It dropped into place at the moment he unlocked and opened the bedroom door. “Hello, mother.”
She looked at Deklan with concern and asked, “Are you doing okay?”
“As good as can, I suppose.” He closed the door and followed her to the chairs in front of the massive fireplace.
She sat down before Deklan had and said, “I can see you’re not doing well.” She knew him. She was his mother. Probably even knew what he was thinking, but still asked, “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He felt strange speaking to his mother about what he was thinking—love and intimacy with another man wasn’t a topic he wanted to share with his mother.
“Deklan, whatever you have to say isn’t going to surprise me or make a difference as to how I feel about you.” Both her eyebrows lifted and had gotten lost behind her strawberry blonde hair. “You met someone, haven’t you?” She waited patiently for his answer, leaning forward, her delicate hands laid over her refined knee.
“I would just like to be alone right now. You can understand that, can’t you mother?”
“No you wouldn’t,” she replied. “It’s about a gentleman friend, isn’t it?”
He looked down and then up, giving a heavy eyed glance toward his mother who was staring so hard he felt invisible. “Unh… It is, and I think I love him. No… I do love him.”
His heart sped up while he waited for her to react. He figured the response wouldn’t be the same way his father’s would—yelling, turning three shades of red, and throwing things across the room. But, he prepared himself in case it had gotten ugly. He winced, pinched one eye tighter than the other and looked sideways at his mother.
She was calm and actually had a smile on her face. It was slim, but the smile was there. Above her smile were the familiar green eyes that narrowed and displayed a hint of concern and sympathy.
Deklan took her expression as a positive sign, and since she was so sweet about everything all the time, he’d given in and leaked his secret.
He drew in a deep breath and then blew it out. Slowly. “His name is Oakland. The man that unexpectedly showed up to my birthday party dressed in ivory and silver. I know in my heart he is who I am to spend my life with. I’d never felt anything so strongly in my life.”
She studied him and he could tell she knew all along it was about the boy and not the girl. “I noticed you haven’t been yourself since your birthday and I was certain it wasn’t only becau
se of the wedding that I would so very much want to call off.”
“Then why don’t you? It isn’t right that I marry some girl I don’t know.” Deklan lowered the tone of his voice. “Mom? If I tell you something else, would you promise not to get upset at anybody but me?”
His mother looked him over, expressing further concern.
Deklan dragged in a ragged breath and mumbled, “His name is Oakland and he works here at the Manor. He’s living in the small feed barn out back by the kitchen and we have spent time together every chance we could get. Promise me, mom. Please leave him alone.”
Her face had gone blank. She normally knew everything, but that bit of information seemed to have caught her by surprise. “You mean Miz Jennings’ son? Little Junior? Why my stars, he’s just a child.”
Deklan laughed and corrected her. “Not anymore, mom. He’s my age. Twenty-six and all grown up.” He bowed his head. “Very grown up if you saw what I’d seen.”
His mother clasped the pearls around her neck and rattled them. “I never figured him to be”—she stopped, and then redirected what she almost said—“to be older than twelve or thirteen. My goodness how quickly time has gone by.”
He was glad she hadn’t fainted to the floor or called the guards to have his boyfriend escorted off the property.
Returning her hands to her lap, she continued, “He looked so nice the other night. Very handsome and polished. Where did someone like him come across clothing of such expense?”
“I know it seems strange he showed up to the party in such a costume, which I have yet to ask him about that, and if you’re thinking it, he didn’t rob or steal them from anybody. He’s not like that.”
She sat frozen. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that, Deklan. Your father doesn’t pay his employees much more than a pauper’s wage and to see a farmhand show up in dress wear like he had, just made me wonder is all. I’m sorry if I offended your judgment and your new friend.”
Sulking, Deklan sunk deeper into his chair. “I have such a terrific time when I’m with him, and he makes me extremely happy. He’s only been away from me for a short time, since this morning to be exact, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I wonder what he’s doing, where he’s at, is he okay, is he thinking about me? When he isn’t around, I miss him like crazy, and I seriously hate every passing minute I have to spend without him. It just doesn’t seem fair.”
His mother tilted her head, worry lines gracing her forehead. Her eyelids lowered, shadowing her bright green eyes.
Deklan pressed the heels of his hands into his closed eyelids as if that was going to stop him from weeping. He choked on his words as sadness swooped in and pecked at him. “When we’re apart, I ache all over. Right now, I want him here with me. I should be holding him, making sure he’s alright, because I’m sure he’s feeling the same pain I am right now. He’s mine, mother, and I am his. I’m dying inside and I don’t think I could live without him. Is this what heartbroken is?”
A tear found a way to squeeze beneath his hand and roll down his left cheek. He sniffed and held his sleeve under his nose. Fighting back the tears trying to burst from within him, he shook his head and realized he said more than he intended. A part of him was disturbed that he’d spoken so freely, yet another part of him was glad he had. It’d all been locked up inside him for far too long. It was a lonely place and right then, he was happy to have shared his true feelings with his mother, who he knew would somehow help him mend his breaking heart. He swallowed his emotions and forced a smile.
Deklan’s mother handed him a napkin from the table in front of her. “Life is strange, Deklan. It throws us curves that we are supposed to live through so we can discover the good things that will happen because of them. Giving that, perhaps your Father’s marriage idea to this young lady helped facilitate your search to find your soul mate. Think about the event and how it led you to him. To your friend, Oakland.”
For a few seconds Deklan stared at his mother, totally shocked. “Do you think so? And, he’s more than just a friend, mom. I consider him my boyfriend.”
She actually smiled. “If this boyfriend is your soul mate. The one. Then you will eventually find your way back to him.”
She opened up to Deklan with an important story that led her to his father—her soul mate. “I am going to tell you about your uncle Joseph.”
“I have an Uncle Joseph?” He never knew.
She scooted forward and balanced on the edge of her chair. “Joseph was your father’s oldest brother. A handsome man, like you and like your father. They looked a lot alike. He was tall, but a bit shorter than your Poppa. Strong, inside and out. He worked hard, you know.” She added that last bit for some reason, her eyes looked dreamy.
Where was she going with this?
“Joseph and I were friends long before I knew your father. We would still be friends today if Joseph was still around.” She lowered her head, crossed herself and then dropped her delicate hands back into her lacey lap, laying one on top of the other like a queen—palms up.
The story hadn’t seemed to be heading in a positive direction by the tone of things.
She forced another smile. “That’s how I met your father. Through Joseph. My friend.”
“I never knew,” Deklan’s voice cracked.
“Well, this isn’t something you normally share with your child. But you’re an adult now, so it’s okay that I tell you.” She exhaled.
Did he really want to know?
“Your father and I met once during the latter days that Joseph and I were together. As friends”—she emphasized. “We were never coupled romantically and in a few minutes I will tell you why. In those days and at my age, I thought the relationship we had together was real love, but as I found out when I met your father that one fine day, how affection really felt. From that day, I’d always known there was a connection missing between your uncle Joseph and me and that I was tied more to your father somehow. At the time, I wasn’t sure what my feelings meant, but later on I discovered it. It was a soul mate incident. I tried my best to keep my distance from your father because I thought your uncle Joseph was supposed to be the love of my life. I tried many times to make your uncle show his affection toward me, but I quickly realized it was never going to happen. I could sense it.”
“Mother! Nooo.” Deklan winced. He wanted to stop her, afraid of what he’d hear next. He wasn’t sure he was up to hearing any more of her story about getting with his uncle or his father.
“You see… your uncle Joseph was just like you, infatuated with another lad instead of me, and the funny thing with my story here, the boy was a farmhand as well. Ironic, don’t you think?” She seemed giddy about the similarities between him and Joseph.
“I started spending more and more time with your father because it seemed more natural for me to be with him instead of Joseph. I eventually noticed Joseph becoming more and more distant and I first thought it was because of your father, but as I suspected early on, it was because of the stable boy.”
“Incredible.” Deklan thought.
“Your father and I were together on their ranch one afternoon and innocently stumbled upon Joseph when we were bringing lemonade drinks into the barn for him and the workers. When we arrived, we found your uncle Joseph and his gentleman friend locked in an embrace more intimately than we expected. I’m not too sure which one of us was more shocked, him or us. I remember we all stood there for a few minutes before Joseph took off running out the backside of the barn. I admit I was hurt by what he did during the time we were still together, but at the same time a little relieved that I was no longer trying to confirm what I had suspected all along. A woman knows these things.” She looked at Deklan, her eyes pinned on his gaping mouth.
“The one thing I know for sure through all this, and have always remembered, was that your father was the one who picked me up and healed my injured heart. He always means well, you know. So what I’m trying to tell you, Deklan. If two people are me
ant to be together, life will find a way. A good example is your father and me. Even though it didn’t seem right at the time, I was led to your father, my soul mate.”
Deklan stopped her. “You said if Joseph was still around. What did you mean when you said that? Where is my uncle?”
Her eyes glistened as she remembered the past. “Your uncle denied who he really was for a very long time and in the end it hurt him deep inside. He couldn’t live with himself the way he was born, so one afternoon in the middle of a very bad thunderstorm, he ended his own life in the attic of the barn. Your father found him. It was a bad day. Your uncle struggled too much with a lonely heart along with shame because he’d always been told there was something wrong with him. Back then, two men in love was unheard of. People didn’t understand it and classified it as a terrible disease or a type of mental illness. Some still do. Sadly. Many men were imprisoned and even killed for being like Joseph.”
Deklan was stunned. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
She continued. “The reason your father didn’t want you to know about all this was because he’s afraid you might follow in your uncle’s footsteps.”
“What?” Deklan barked. “I guess it didn’t work now, did it? I still turned out just the way he didn’t want me to be.”
“No Deklan, not because you found affection for a young man, but because he was afraid you would hurt yourself like your uncle Joseph had, or that somebody else would. All he’s doing is trying to keep you from being hurt. He wants you safe.”
“Well, he’s hurting me in a completely different way,” Deklan scowled.
“I am worried as well and want you to be safe, but I won’t stand in your way because I know what it’s like to be separated from the one you love. I’ll protect you if I notice you’re in any danger. It’s just the way it is. I’m your mother.”
The Prince of Almond Manor Page 18
