By Any Means

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by Kurt Ellis


  53

  Captain grinned wildly as he folded the flap down on his new Motorola cellphone after Kyle had hung up the receiver on the other end. He was sitting in Backstage, enjoying the crisp taste of a refreshingly cold beer. He had just slipped his new phone into his pocket and taken the bottle from his lips when Jimmy walked up.

  “Ek sê,” Captain said with a smile. “I just got off the phone with Kyle. He’s on his way here now.”

  Jimmy’s forehead creased with concern. “Okay,” he said. “I don’t know if this will be a problem or not, Captain, but … er, I just saw Amia here.”

  Captain shut his eyes tight and rubbed his forehead. “Crap. The plan was to get his mind off the stekkie.”

  Jimmy mirrored the forehead rub and continued, “Er, that’s not all. She’s here with another guy.”

  “What?” Captain exclaimed in dismay. “Are you bloody joking, Jimmy?” He didn’t wait for Jimmy to reply. The beer spilt over as he rushed off to the main club, with Jimmy hot on his heels.

  They walked into an explosion of music. Captain scanned the room.

  “There, she’s there.” Jimmy pointed at a corner table. Amia was sitting there with her friend Paula, Paula’s boyfriend Bradley and another guy that Captain didn’t recognise.

  Captain felt his anger bubble to the surface. He pushed his way through the people on the dance floor and with each step he took, his fury grew.

  Something somebody said made her laugh just as he arrived at the table. He slammed his hand onto the flat surface so hard that it made the drinks on it clang together and threaten to fall over.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Captain’s throat burnt with harshness.

  “Hey, ek sê. What kind?” Amia’s escort stood up in her defence. “What are you bumping here for, bru?”

  “Bru!” Captain shoved his finger into this unknown guy’s face. “You shut the fuck up and sit down, cupcake. Don’t you dare get strong with me, or I’ll make you raak vol. You sit down or I’ll put you down, boy.”

  Bradley, who knew who Captain was, quickly grabbed his friend by the arm and roughly pulled him back down to his seat.

  “Hey!” Amia stood up and shoved Captain in the chest. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “What is this?” Captain pointed at the people round the table. “Are you on a date?”

  “That is none of your damn business! Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me like that?”

  Captain was livid. But he knew that when he lost control of his anger, he made mistakes. Huge mistakes. Wesley-like mistakes. He gritted his teeth and took in a deep breath, then said as calmly as he could manage, “Let’s go talk outside.”

  “What for? I have nothing to say to you!” Amia was not bothering to restrain her anger.

  Captain took in another deep breath and forced a reassuring smile. “Please. I’m sorry for how I approached you. Just one minute. A single minute. That’s all.”

  She stood there, silent, her arms crossed defiantly across her chest.

  “Please. Only a minute,” Captain implored her once more.

  She maintained her icy-cold stare for a second more before she nodded. They made their way through the crowd, down the mirrored passageway and the stairs and finally onto the narrow street outside.

  “What’s your problem, Anthony?” Amia had calmed down ever so slightly during the walk.

  “Again, sorry for that up there. It was wrong of me. But my problem is what you are doing to Kyle. That is my problem,” Captain said.

  Amia dropped her eyes to the black tar at her feet. “Whatever is happening – or rather, happened – between Kyle and me is our business. Our problem. It doesn’t concern you at all.”

  “I know that, but …” Captain searched for the right thing to say. “Do you have any idea what you are doing to him? You must give at least a little bit of a shit about how you are killing him, Amia. The boy loves you – against my advice, may I add. He loves you. And you tear the fu …” Captain stopped himself from cursing. “You tore the ou’s heart out and you don’t even care. I don’t understand that. Help me to understand it?”

  Captain thought he saw her eyes begin to water as she said softly, “I can’t explain it. It’s just best this way.”

  A red Toyota Tazz cruised down the road, with its music blaring. Captain sighed loudly. “Best for who?”

  “The both of us,” was her whispered reply.

  “Amia.” Captain sighed again. “You are making as much sense to me as a damn polar bear on a bicycle. And you know what else does not make sense? You tear my boy’s heart out, and two weeks later you are here on a date. What is on your mind?”

  “Hey!” Amia clearly did not appreciate the sarcastic tone. “I’m not on a date. He’s Bradley’s friend. I don’t know him, nor do I want to know him.”

  “Hmmm,” Captain replied mistrustfully. “It’s not right, Amia. At all. Anyway, the reason why I wanted to talk to you was to tell you that Kyle is on his way here right now. He doesn’t know that you’re here. And this bullshit with that character upstairs will just upset him.”

  “Look, Kyle will just have to deal with it,” Amia said dismissively. Rather too dismissively – Captain thought she was putting up a front.

  “Hey, please cut the crap. If you have any feelings for Kyle, even the smallest inkling of an emotion, then don’t hurt the boy again.”

  Amia sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell Paula that I’m going home.” She started to walk back, then stopped and turned. “Will he … will he be okay?”

  “Do you really care?” Captain asked curtly.

  Their discussion was interrupted by Bradley’s friend, who came rushing outside.

  “Amia.” He spoke with forced aggression, an animal trying to intimidate another by growling loudly. “What’s going on here?”

  Captain did not try to intimidate. Captain was a menacing beast. “Are you out of you fucking mind, cupcake? Do you know me? Do you know what will happen to you?” Captain moved forward threateningly, while Amia tried to hold him back.

  It was then that Kyle appeared around the corner.

  54

  Kyle walked briskly, trying to outpace his sorrow, but it was like his shadow. It was with him every single step he took. As he reached Prince Alfred Street, he recognised Captain’s voice.

  “Captain,” he said as he rounded the corner, “what’s going on here?”

  Captain turned and looked at him, his eyes wide with anger, then panic. Like a child who’s been caught doing something wrong. He looked at Kyle, then at Amia, then at the person she was protecting, before looking back at Kyle.

  Kyle had followed Captain’s gaze, still befuddled, until he put two and two together. Amia and another guy. Hurt raced through his veins and into his heart as he made his deduction. The silence seemed to last forever, if not longer.

  “Now who the fuck is this ou?” Amia’s companion broke the deafening hush.

  A flame had exploded within Kyle and he rushed at this stranger who stood in front of him. Who stood next to her.

  Captain wrapped his arms around him to hold him back as best he could. “Kyle, wait! It isn’t worth it.” Captain tried his utmost to restrain his cousin, but Kyle was dragging him along.

  Jimmy appeared as if from thin air and tried to help Captain. They were saying something to him, but Kyle could not hear what they were saying. Not a single word, until Amia spoke up.

  “Please, Kyle. Don’t do this. I don’t want to see you like this.” She had tears in her eyes, and for the first time in two weeks, he looked at her. At the girl who had given him his first taste of bliss, only to destroy it so soon after.

  His tears could not be restrained any more. He shrugged his cousins off roughly, turned and stormed away.

  Jimmy ran after him.

  Captain turned to Amia. “Are you happy now? I really hope you are!” he shot at her before he turned and raced after Jimmy.

  They did
not have to run long, but in that short distance Kyle had managed to wipe away the tears in his eyes and to hold back the rest.

  “Ek sê, Kyle …” Captain’s voice was rough with concern. “Are you okay, cuz?”

  Kyle did not reply.

  “Damn, bru. I don’t know what to say. That was messed up, but …” he really did not know what else to say, so he settled on cursing. “Shit. That was just fucked up. Where are you off to?”

  “Anywhere but here,” Kyle finally said.

  Captain bounded in front of him, blocking his path. “Forget that. You’re coming with me.”

  “Captain, I really am in no –”

  “Hey, none of that, bru. I’m not leaving you alone right now.”

  “We’re not leaving you alone right now,” echoed Jimmy.

  Captain smiled. “Just come with me. I know a lukka spot where we can just chill. Relax and forget about this kak, bru. Trust me, Kyle.”

  55

  Captain was right. The ocean sang its sweet tune as it lapped on the shoreline, and the saltiness of its aroma refreshed their lungs. Kyle sat on the soft, loose brown sand and rested his back against the foundation of the pier. He dug his hands into the ground and let the grains slide through his fingers. Jimmy sat next to him, his eyes looking out over the ocean. They waited in silence for Captain to return. When he did, he brought a bottle of cheap brandy and three styrofoam cups with him. Along with a mischievous smile that reminded Kyle of the Captain he’d grown up with.

  Captain broke the seal and splashed a healthy amount from the bottle onto the ground. “Well, gents,” he said pouring even healthier amounts into the three cups, “money is tight now, so there will be no dash. We’re going to have to be hardcore and enjoy this shit neat.”

  Normally Kyle would have objected, but today he craved numbness and amnesia. And he could not think of a better way to achieve that than with alcohol. He wanted to feel it burn his throat and to give him some pain that he could define.

  “Now, Kyle, I know you had a messed-up day,” Captain continued. “Okay, your day was pretty fucked up, and believe me, I do feel kak for you, cuz. But today is also a day of celebration.” His lips stretched in a smile that radiated pride. “Guess who kissed his first girl today?”

  Kyle laughed, the first honest laugh he’d had in the last two weeks or so. “You’re kidding me!”

  He looked into the shy, brilliant blue eyes of Jimmy, whose face was aglow with a smile and a blush.

  “And guess who it was he kissed, bru?” Captain went on.

  Kyle laughed out louder and harder. “Oh, you are fucking kidding me! No ways. Not her.”

  “Yup. The one and only. Our boy here kissed the girl of his dreams – Sarah.”

  Kyle clapped his hands together and yelped out in joy. “Holy shit! This is my boy!” He grabbed his cousin in a rough hug.

  Jimmy laughed shyly.

  “How was it?” Kyle asked.

  “Er … it was nice. We … we are going to the movies next weekend.”

  “And you got a date?” Kyle repeated as he ruffled Jimmy’s brown hair. “My boy!”

  “No, Kyle, he ain’t no boy any more,” Captain corrected him. “We can’t call him that. He’s a man now. Not only a man, but the man.”

  Kyle climbed to his feet. Thoughts of Amia crept into his mind, but he fought them back. He would not allow this moment to be ruined. “Today is a day for celebration.” He raised his cup to Jimmy, and Captain imitated the salute. “To Jimmy!”

  Jimmy raised his cup until all three styrofoam tumblers met in the centre, and then they put the cups to their lips, tilted their heads back and gulped down the alcohol. They coughed as the fumes of the liquor burnt their lungs. Then they laughed at the look on each other’s faces as the brandy tore at their throats. For this night, they would forget about all their problems. The war, the pregnancy, the girlfriends … everything. It was just the three of them, the three amigos, and they spoke of better days.

  They spoke of playing hide and seek in the bush in Newlands East. And of when they stole granadillas off the vine in Mr Poolan’s yard. They spoke about when they played in Uncle Jack’s car and Jimmy pushed down the handbrake. The car rolled down the bank and crashed through the trees until it came to rest in a creek at the bottom of the bank. Or about Christmas days when they would all go to their grandparents’ house. Their grandfather would pull out his guitar and the whole family would sing along. Even with three fingers, their grandfather still managed to coax sweet harmony from the strings.

  “Good times,” Captain slurred, his tongue already thick. “I wish we could go back.”

  “Me too,” Kyle agreed, his speech just as slurred. “Not a problem in the world. I miss those days.”

  Captain swooshed his shot down. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a father. Can you imagine what my son or daughter will see when they look at me? That is why I’m out of this gang shit.”

  “Serious?”

  “Dead serious. Your nagging worked, Kyle. I’m meeting with Tyson and Lazarus tomorrow to tell ’em I’m done. That we’re out. Fuck it, Tyson can have the ’Nyms. I just want Nazneen and my baby. That is all I need.”

  “That’s good, bru. About time you saw the light.”

  “Yes, it is. I’m doing it for Nazneen and my lightie. Now let’s stop being so serious and pour me another shot.”

  Kyle reached for the bottle and poured more brandy into their cups. He struggled to his drunk feet to make a toast. “To Cap … to Anthony. You will be a great father. I know it, and Oupa would’ve been proud. Congratulations.”

  Again, Jimmy and Captain raised their glasses.

  “But wait …” Captain stopped them from drinking. “To Kyle. Who will be playing professional ball in England soon. Our world is changing, gents. Tomorrow is so bright for us now, it is blinding.”

  They smiled, and drank.

  56

  Kyle woke with a headache, his head resting on a mound of sand that doubled as a pillow. His first thought when he opened his eyes and stared up at the heavens was: Wow, this is beautiful! His second was: Holy shit, where am I? He sat up with a start.

  The salty smell was unfamiliar to him, and so was the soft sand on which his head had been resting. Then the memories came flooding back in waves of brandy and a throbbing headache. And the nausea. It was almost unbearable.

  He looked around and saw the sleeping bodies of his cousins. They had fallen asleep as they looked at the stars and listened to the ocean’s lullaby. The pier had offered them some privacy and shelter, though it was not needed. The night was warm and cloudless.

  Kyle looked at his watch. It was almost two o’clock in the morning. He had never felt so miserable in his life. He had been drunk once or twice before, but never like last night. Never to the extent that he swore he could feel the Earth rotating beneath him.

  He staggered to his feet and stumbled over to the shoreline. His stomach contracted violently just as his shoes got wet and he bent over into the surf. The contents of his stomach splattered into the breakers as he vomited. The sea foamed at his ankles, soaking his tackies. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get the alcohol out of his gut.

  After a final dry heave, Kyle stood up straight and took in a few deep breaths of fresh air. He looked around for a tap to drink water from. He was a little unfamiliar with this part of the Durban beach and his search came up empty. But he thought he knew where he could find one further down the shoreline, so he trudged on. Amia was on his mind again with each step. She was always on his mind. The moon was bright that evening, and the sight, accompanied by the gentle roar of the ocean, made him miss her all the more.

  When he found the tap, he felt like a plane crash survivor in the Sahara coming across an oasis. He gulped down as much water as he could. Then he sat down in the sand to regain his strength. He watched the blinking red and white lights of the ships on the black horizon. The thought of diving beneath the breaking waves and swimmi
ng out towards those flashing lights crossed his mind, but he fought it away.

  He found an empty half-litre Coca-Cola bottle in a nearby bin. He washed it out as thoroughly as possible before filling it up with water for Captain and Jimmy before he started his walk back to them.

  But when he arrived at the pier, Captain and Jimmy were gone.

  57

  His jaw hurt badly. Captain licked the moisture at the corner of his mouth and tasted the metallic flavour of blood. He looked up at the smirking Tyson.

  “You don’t have to do this.” Captain’s voice sounded eerily calm in his own ears. “We were going to have a meeting today, bru. You know this. The sit-down was going to be to tell you that I am out. That you win. You can have it all, bru.”

  Captain was sitting on the wet grass with his back against the front wheel of a car. Jimmy was sitting next to him with his right cheek already starting to swell. Captain couldn’t remember how they had gotten here. At one point they were passed out on the beach. Next thing he knew, they were being dragged and shoved into the boot of a car. After a confusingly bumpy ride, they had arrived in Sydenham. His homeland. At this moment, they were on the touchline of the Tills Crescent sports ground. The same field where he had been to watch Kyle play in the five-a-side tournament he had arranged, except at this moment, they were sitting Upstairs. On the single field away from the main road. Away from prying eyes.

  They had been dumped on the dew-soaked grass and savagely beaten. His first reaction had been to fight back, but Tyson and the four other goons he had with him quashed this instantly. They had unleashed another torrent of punches and kicks. All Captain could do was cover his face and protect himself as best as he could. He was relieved to see Jimmy doing the same when they attacked him as well.

  “I know that,” Tyson replied.

 

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