by Mariam Alaa
Prologue
None of these dresses is the one.
People always say that you'll figure it out; that you'll just know that the wedding dress you're wearing is the one. They say how you'll continue on rummaging through different boutiques and trying on a wide variety of dresses, standing in front of a mirror until you actually believe that this is the dress you're looking for- the perfect match. That you'll just know once your eyes start tearing up at how 'beautiful' you believe it made you look.
Well, let me tell you my complete, honest opinion about this: it's not even remotely true- at least, not for me. I wish finding a wedding dress was as easy as women on the ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ reality show made it seem to be.
I, for one, have been searching for my wedding dress for the past three weeks, and I didn't find anything that exceeds my expectations, not even anything that reaches it. Panic begins to crawl its way into my chest at the thought that the most important event of my life lays exactly a week from today: my wedding. It’s something that occurs to me involuntarily that whenever I start to become anxious about something, my palms start sweating.
Apparently Lexi notices because that’s Lexi we’re talking about- observant. She slides one of her hands into mine, lays a hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner and gives me that look with her hazel wide eyes, that only means ‘we’re in this together,’ as she whispers with a reassuring small smile, "Don't worry, you'll find it."
I offer my childhood best friend a grateful smile that doesn't quite reach my dark chocolate brown eyes and exit the boutique 'Karen Forte Bridal' along with my mom with a miserable feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. Not only do I feel misery at its peak, but I also feel nervous, anxious and this rush of thrill all at once.
For one, I'm worried that I won’t find my dress by the time of my wedding, and the second thing is even though I'm delighted that I'll get to spend the rest of my life with my one true love- Adrien, I'm nervous at the same time that this is not what I want. It's just the idea that you're getting a say on who you'll love, live and get to grow up with scares me. What if we are rushing into the wedding part? What if I am not ready?
"You okay there?" My mother Julie's worried tone snaps me out of my thoughts. "You've been silent for the past hour and a half."
I look at my mom's identical brown eyes and notice the tight and worry swirling in them, so I decide not to say anything related to my ridiculous thoughts and offer her a sad smile before replying, "Yeah, I'm fine. I’m just a little worried though."
"I understand, darling, but you don't have to be." My mom reaches out with her hands, planting them on my shoulder blades as she pulls me in for a hug. "You said it yourself: I'm a shopaholic, so trust me when I say that I'll find you what you're looking for. Same goes for you Lex- I'll find you the most beautiful maid's of honor dress."
You’ve been saying that for three weeks, mom.
My mother pulls us both for a hug in the middle of the street then pulls away and tugs Lexi, who looks at me wide-eyed at my mother's enthusiasm, causing a light chuckle to escape from my mouth, and I along with her as we wander around the streets of England in search for the dress.
As my mom tugs us along like lost puppies, I can't help but think of how Adrien and I first met. I had been studying medicine at the University of Oxford for almost two years when Adrien showed up as a transfer student from another Pharmacy college in Liverpool. His jade eyes were a definite catch to the entire female population as well as his olive perfectly structured jawline, his toned muscles and his charming character. Being my dorm neighbor at college and a classmate in most of my classes, it was impossible for us to avoid each other.
I am and always have been the ‘quiet’ and ‘shy’ type of girl, and this is why it only made sense that Adrien was the one who introduced himself to me as his neighbor even though it should’ve been the opposite way around. I, of course, had my jaw dropped to the floor at the thought of interacting with a ‘boy’ since that was my clear intentions since day one: focus on my studies and avoid any sources of ‘distraction’. Eventually, though, we started communicating, and he turned out to be my friend later on.
In the midst of our journey in college, our grades started taking a U-turn, so we both decided that we will talk , like we normally do, and still be friends, but we’ll also dedicate our lives in studying bio. That we'll not let any feelings get in the way of disrupting our hard work and possible future career. To aid our cause, I even moved back to my parents’ house, claiming that putting some distance between us might be for the better good.
Fate, apparently, had something else stored for the both of us because a week after this decision of ours, we were both picked up as partners for a medical research project. In spite of focusing on this project as we both aimed for high credit, our feelings for each other accelerated the more we got to see each other until we couldn't just hide nor ignore them anymore. What it truly felt like was that the harder we worked on avoiding each other, the more the attraction grew stronger. It was like destiny was fighting its way into our lives. I remember the love my heart devoted to him when he bought me a ticket for Paris on my 21st birthday, knowing that I've always wanted to head there. Paris was, and still is, my dream city, and him giving me the chance to wipe out one of my bucket list goals, pursue one of my dreams and get to explore it caused nothing but intensify my feelings for him.
Right now, however, I don't like this feeling of uncertainty, so I force these memorable emotions into my heart and take in a deep breath, reassuring myself that Adrien is the one; that I am making the right decision.
That this is what I want.
That this is my choice.
By 5 pm, I was beyond exhausted. My legs were burning from all the walking, and my feet felt like they were about to lose conscious. I couldn't say the same goes for my mom though. Here she is grinning like she has just unraveled Cinnabon’s secret recipe when she spotted the most adorable dress for Lexi- a backless V-neck and laced nude dress that Lexi actually managed to fall in love with.
Once my mom saw how the dress fitted Lexi so well , like this dress was actually made for her, she kept on gushing on how hot she looked, while I felt like I just wanted to puke. Don’t get me wrong; Lexi looked ridiculously pretty. It’s just that I never thought that throwing a wedding would be so much tiring. After Lexi tried it on and got the approval from my mom and I, she apologized and left as she had to babysit her 6-year-old cousin: Clarissa.
Right now, I wish I have a ‘Clarissa’ in my life to babysit; too bad I’m the youngest relative.
After begging my mom using my cutest version of puppy dog eyes to return home and rest, she finally gave in after telling me that she'll just do one last thing: buy my father and older brother 'Trevor' a new tuxedo for the wedding before we can actually head home. I resisted the urge to groan at the idea of walking up to one more shop, so I just settled with a slight nod as a response.
She woke up with you at 8 am in the morning. Be grateful!
As I await my mom in the crowded corner of the street in front of the shop, I decided to call Adrien. People were pushing past me by now as the street got more crowded than it already was. With the phone sticking to my right ear, I caught on its ring for a few seconds before I became greeted with the deep voice that I managed to fall in love with.
We kept on talking for a while, and I kind of felt guilty when he asked me why I sounded so nervous. I explained to him that it was only because I still didn't find the dress and left out the part where I wasn't sure I was ready for marriage. He kept on reassuring me that I'll find it before the wedding; that I still have plenty of time, and that one week will be all it takes, and as we were talking, something caught my attention.
"Hey Adrien, I need to
go. I'll call you when I reach home, okay?" I hurry up, trying to end the call.
"Yeah sure, is everything okay?" He asks, clearly catching up with my eagerness to go.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I answer him back; my heart melting at his worry.
After he ends the call with a ‘be safe’, I start moving quickly through the crowd, crouching down towards the black-leathered, hand-sized wallet that I just witnessed fall out of some stranger's back pocket. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see who it is, and just as I yelled a loud 'hey', the man was nowhere in sight. Hesitating on whether I'd leave the wallet or take it in hopes of returning it back to its owner, I make up my mind on the latter one.
I felt guilty about what I was about to do as it felt as though I was invading someone's privacy, but I opened the wallet anyways, hoping that I'd find an identity card where I can find an address I can head to.
An identity card, however, was not what first caught my attention. What caught my attention is the photo that fell out right on the floor. My hand automatically reached down to grab the photo and before I got to analyze the picture, my mom appears in front of me with two shopping bags in her hands and ushers me to follow her to the car.
On my way to the car, I hold up the picture which consists of two people: an attractively handsome young man- probably in his late teenage years- with dark grey eyes, thick eyebrows and suntanned face who was definitely unfamiliar and another young girl of his age, who was beaming happily at the camera, with her shimmering teeth all visible as one of his hands was wrapped around her shoulders.
The man wore a tight white shirt and a leather black jacket while the girl wore a blue off shoulder blouse. Concentrating my eyes on their background, I see that they were in some sort of a park since their surrounding was entirely made of green trees.
I focus my eyes on the girl. She has long blond hair that reaches her mid stomach, deep brown eyes, thick eyelashes and pink plum lips.
She is really pretty.
Suddenly, my eyes widen in horror and an involuntary gasp escapes my mouth as the realization of the identity of the other figure in the photo hits me.
It’s me.
It’s a younger teenage version of me.
Chapter 1
Once I drove us home, I was met with a bone-crushing hug from my one and only older brother ‘Trevor’. Well, he wasn’t really that old; he’s just older than me by a year yet still acts like he’s the mature one out of the two of us which we all know isn’t true by any chance. Since my mind was somewhere else, and I didn’t want to be met with the constant interrogations of ‘what’s going on in that mind of yours?’ and ‘what’s got you so caught up in your thoughts?’, I just returned his hug with an equally bone crushing one until he let go.
Oh how I wish to just run up to my room, drown in my own misery and figure out an explanation to what my eyes just made out! With Trevor and dad around, though, this is not a valid option since they kept on pestering us to bore them out with each and every inch of detail on how our day went by and if we found what we’re looking for. The hope in their golden-specked blue eyes crushed when I told them we didn’t find ‘it’ yet- which kind of made me feel bad.
After we had a delectable chicken cordon-bleu and tomato sauced spaghetti for lunch, which I enjoyed in my jeans and blouse since I was too hungry to change first, I excused myself from the table, explaining how I’m in need of some sleep before I rushed upstairs to my room. I opened the white-painted wooden door to be met with my light brown-painted walls that are covered with frames containing pictures and memories from when I was a kid, even though I don’t really remember much from my childhood.
I slide out of my outfit, placing it back in my closet and put on my pink, rabbit-like onesie before jumping on my bed. Instantly, the urge to sleep hits me so hard that my muscles were beginning to relax, and my eyes were slipping into unconsciousness but before I actually fully succumb, a certain picture flashes through my blank mind. This was more than enough to alert my body to jolt up from bed and think.
Dashing up to my closet, where I last hid the wallet with the picture inside, I grab it, clasping it in my right hand tightly before locking my bedroom door. I take a seat on the black chair in front of my desk. It’s not that I have anything to hide; I just want to clear up my mind and think of possibilities to what this picture could possibly mean before I confront my parents, brother or Adrien about it. It’ll be like a small little secret for now- not for long though.
Again, I find my eyes drawn to my identical figure. She was wearing a baby blue off-shoulder blouse and a beautiful diamond necklace. She looked so happy as if she was the definition of happiness, but is this even me? I never saw this man in my entire life, so who are those people?
Is it possible that I have a twin sister my parents are clueless about? Is that the case, or is this teenage boy the long lost sibling? Even if this girl is my twin, how come I’ve had no clue about her? Was she picked up by the wrong parents after birth at the hospital, and if this was the case, doesn’t a pregnant woman visit a doctor to know the number and gender of babies she carries?
Was my twin kidnapped when she was a baby, maybe even a little kid, and my parents decided to never bring her up? If this is true, does Trevor know about this? What if one of my parents has cheated on the other?
Oh God, no! ‘Don’t think like that,’ I stop myself with the warning inside my head. How can I even think that? I’ve known my parents my whole life, and I can tell how much they love each other. They wouldn’t do that to each other, for they live to see the smiles on each other’s faces. It’s their main goal so take that back. Even if one of them did cheat on the other, they couldn’t have an identical me planted out on the face of the earth just like that, could they?
No, this isn’t possible.
My mind starts brooding over the last two possibilities, but I shake my head no at both. This could be a stranger after all, but how come? Is it possible for two unrelated people to share the same exact identical features?
This girl has my eyes, my lips, my nose, my hair, my eyebrows and even my smile. I don’t understand any of this, but one thing I know for sure is that she can’t be me, so who is she?
Well, there’s only one way to figure it out.
An hour ago, I left home, lying to both my parents and brother that I went out to meet up with Adrien even though I just went out to a police station to figure out where this mysterious man, who I learned goes by the name of ‘Adam’, lives since his identity card wasn’t in his wallet. As a gust of cold air hits my bare collarbones, I shudder, instantly regretting my choice of clothing: a light off shoulder, full-sleeve black shirt and boyfriend jeans.
Five minutes ago, I left the police station after an officer – Officer Forbes- gave me an address to head to. I thank God that the stranger’s apartment is only four blocks away from the station; otherwise, I would’ve frozen to death by now. As I walk through the streets, my eyes flicker to the hundreds of beautiful shimmering stars that are decorating the night sky, and I nod as I find the truth in this quote I read from one of my books: ‘Only because of the darkness are we able to see the light.’
The number 25 imprinted on the wooden front door of the three story high house catches my attention as I realize that this is the address. A sudden anxiousness crawls its way into my heart, causing it to race as I realize that this is it. Once I knock on this door, the moment of truth will be unraveled and all the confusion will hopefully disappear, but what if I don’t like what this man will have to say? What if I end up embarrassing myself or worse- what if this girl is the one who answers the doorbell? What would she say? Will she for some weird reason recognize me? Or will she eye me with the same shock I’ll probably eye her with?
I slowly make my way up the stairs, where I’m met with a ‘Welcome’ home mat, and just as I was about to knock, I draw my hand back and unclench my fist as a thought appears into my mind: ‘what if the truth is better left untold?
’
This was a bad idea: coming here.
I turn around as I make my way down the stairs, but my feet seems to have lost the ability to move once the sound of the front door being pulled open hits my ears.
Do I want to know the truth? I mean I’m always curious, but what if this time my curiosity drags me into a world I will not be too fond of?
‘It’s now or never,’ the thought rushes through my brain. I make up my mind and with my heart rapidly beating in my chest, I turn around to face ‘Adam’.
No words leave my mouth as I stare back at the owner of the most attractive pair of grey eyes I’ve ever seen which were eyeing me back in shock. Adam, who looks about my age and much older than in the photo, is wearing a black leather jacket and black jeans and by the looks of it, he seemed to be quite in a hurry- or so I thought.
He gives me a puzzled look. “Evie?”
My ears caught the soft whisper that came out of his mouth, and I can’t help but furrow my eyebrows at the sound of my nickname.
Chapter 2
“Adam?”
My deep brown eyes continue staring back at his hypnotizing grey ones, and even though I was sure that I caught a flicker of recognition flashing through them, it was gone as soon as it came. Other than the fact that he is much older now, maybe by four years or so, he looks just like in the photo in his wallet except for one thing that made him seem as though he’s not himself- something that I can’t quite lay my hands on. Something that made him seem like a stranger to one’s eye.
None of us has spoken yet. Not a word has been said after I uttered his name, which I learnt from his master card, until he cleared out his throat. “How do you- I’m sorry, but you are?”
I stare at his eyes which were now looking at me like a total stranger; a person he has never met, and my mouth suddenly feels dry like I just lost the ability to speak. As I eye his features warily, I shift a little closer to him, trying to boost any memory to see if I recognize or if we ever met, but as soon as I stepped closer, he took a step back.
