“Nearly a thousand years ago, I had the honour of occupying a position of authority in Takanli”, he said, collecting himself somewhat.
“Were you a member of the council?” I asked.
He sighed again, more deeply. “I was. There was a shift in the power base, and… Well, some of my views were never that popular. There was a lot more politics in Takanli back then, you see”, he hunched over the bar slightly, cradling his juice. “More political parties, more diffuse points of view… Quite nice, really, compared to the parliament we have now. If the leaders were ever to make a mistake, there could be real trouble from the people but… with the clairvoyance research, and how they’re able to predict anything major in the works…”
It began to sound like a dictatorship, but one governed by wise, compassionate beings with a weather eye on the future. And the place was thriving.
“This was why you were brought here”, he explained, more rapidly. “A group of us knew that the only way to improve our systems of government was to increase the levels of emotion. Look at the vibrant, argumentative democracies you have on your planet. Real parliamentary debate, real leaning from one direction to another, real reactions to events. Not the clued-in, logical thinking of this government. Something more…” he struggled for the word. “More human.”
I nodded. “I see. But when you say that you surrendered…” He cut me off.
“We did.” He sighed deeply. “I did.” He rubbed his eyes. “I met with some scientists, from the same institute who ran the tests you went through. They had formed a group, a Coalition of the Concerned, they called it. The system was in a lot more trouble back then. Development was proceeding headlong here, and among the inner planets, but the distances to the Outer Rim and the asteroids were slowing their rate of development. They wanted more, they wanted it faster, and they saw no reason why distance should be an obstacle.”
“Thousands of petty squabbles brewed up. Self-interest”, he almost spat the words, “was everywhere. ‘I want, I want, I want’, it was all you ever heard.” He tapped the table angrily with each iteration. “Jealousy led to hatred. New ethnic consciousnesses sprang up, cementing the divides. For many, it became ‘us and them’. Minds which had worked ceaselessly for peace began to consider war. They designed weapons.” The Frejudium cannon, I remembered. “When one of the moons of the tenth planet…” he paused, shaken by the memory. “I saw the video. It seemed to destroy itself from the inside… boil up, like a volcano, like thousands of them… spill its blood onto the surface. Then the surface itself cracked open, the bonds which held the rock together were broken, and it split into a dozen parts. The separated, flew apart, drifted away. All in a minute. So fast, so irreversible…” He was in tears now. “A million lives… people who could still now be learning, teaching, creating, loving… what is too high a price, when all of that is at risk?”
I was stunned by his description, but also uncomfortable with how open this intelligent, hurt old man was choosing to be. I knew about the destruction, the cannon. Why was I here?
He dried his eyes, straightened his back, took a moment. He looked at me. “Self-interest, greed, avarice, malice… these are all human traits. They make us human. But they also lead to such sufferings as cannot be countenanced, not for any reason. We were not ready to possess such technology, such responsibility. We were children! Playing with expensive toys we couldn’t properly use. But these things could not be un-invented. We had to learn to live with them, to keep them hidden. No-one felt certain we could do that. So, I met with the Coalition and brought their ideas to the Council.”
I listened, rapt. “The Coalition proposed a complete solution to the problems of human nature. A genetic modification which, generation by generation, would eradicate the predispositions to behaviours which were not in the common interest. We would become altruistic, loving, non-violent creatures, beholden to each other in a close-bonded community. The old arguments, cries of ‘I want, I want’, the old temptations, would melt away. In ten generations, I told the council, we would reach the pinnacle of human evolution, not in our bodies, although medicine would soon cure the last diseases, but in our minds. Our minds”, he grasped my arm, “the nest of the phoenix which brings enlightenment to our species. We would outgrow the cradle and take our place in the galaxy as partners with all life, shepherds of our own species, custodians of our system.”
He smiled at me, tired but enthused by his own rhetoric. I didn’t know what to say. It was all beginning to make sense.
“They quickly developed a vaccine which would spread surreptitiously, secretly, through water supplies, sexual contact, eventually in the air. The sections of DNA which drive us to evil were gradually excised. Crime basically ceased in four generations. Old divisions started to heal. Charitable contributions and volunteerism sky-rocketed. People took more time to love their families. We started to put technology to work for us, freeing up more of our time, rather than letting it dominate. Ease of communication should make communication easier, not simply give us more work!!” he thumped the bar top, jolting other drinkers. He waved apologetically, briefly, smiling.
“We created the society you’ve seen, and been impressed by. We created Utopia. And now”, he waved a finger at me, “we seek to improve even on this. We are not finished, no…” He was still smiling. “You see, now we have pedigree, now we have learned to live together in peace, we can dare to reintroduce the human traits we so reluctantly gave away.”
I stared at him. All of their successes, their peace and development, had come at this enormous price. And now they wanted to have their cake and eat it. “Don’t you have your old DNA, from back then?” I wanted to know.
He shook his head. “For the solution to be complete, we needed a completely unblemished genetic record, free from corruption. No risk could be taken. The slate was wiped clean.”
They had destroyed the record of where they had come from, to ensure their future. It was bold, reckless, beautiful, horrifying… I didn’t know whether to slap him on the back in congratulations for the breadth of his vision, or strangle him for denying millions their humanity. However I felt about it, this man was the initiate, the starting point, of my voyage.
“The only exception was the idiots in the Outer Rim who had sealed themselves off so completely – the paranoid, fugitive Jakalzzian Elders with their Raptor brides. No vaccine ever reached them. We tried everything.” Hot-headed remnants of a fast-changing society, flung out into the deepest tracts of the system. There was something of Colonel Kurtz about it. Only he didn’t have a wife with gigantic tits.
“Once we made contact with Earth and recognized ourselves in your behaviours, we knew you were the answer. ‘A limited, careful program to reintroduce the extremes of human hormonal response’, that’s how I put it to the council. Oh, they had their say. I was a turncoat, a flip-flopper. Many called me worse. I had ruined the lives of millions, yes, yes, yes…” he waved a hand at the air, dismissing the invisible detractors. “But look what we were able to achieve when we were only half human… think what could come next, with your help…”
I was profoundly uncomfortable. Quickly finishing my drink, I said, “Professor, I need to get back to the studio. The debate…”
He nodded, mumbling, “yes, of course, of course. Mustn’t keep your audience waiting.”
*****
The studio gave the impression of barely organised chaos. Our liaison girl had been running around all afternoon and looked hassled, sweaty and a touch desperate. Seeing me calmed her a little. Everything was ready, she assured me, and an advertising blitz would secure an audience in excess of two trillion. I would speak first, introducing the subject and the teams (I myself needed no introduction, I was amazed to be told), and then each team would have time to speak. The rules were lengthy but reasonable and both teams had accepted them.
Ten minutes before show time, Falik grinned cheekily as she pulled off her panties and lay back on the sofa in my dressing room. It was
hard to concentrate on her wonderful body with all the myriad thoughts circling my head, but my cock knew exactly what to do. She was wet for me immediately. I kissed her pussy, tongued her clit, and, losing no time, pushed my cock deeply up inside her. We made love gently at first, Falik soothing me with supportive sentiments, caressing fingers, and the squeezings of her muscular pussy.
“You’ll be great, darling”, she whispered as I fucked her. “They’ve never seen anything like you… they’ll be swept…” she paused to come, “… off their feet”. I kissed her deeply in thanks, slid my whole member into her body, and let my sperm flow into her.
I held her for as long as time allowed. We kissed continuously. “I’m happy you still have some cum left for me, after the Raptor”, she quipped. “I hear that they can…” I quietened her with a finger on her lips.
“After the negotiations, we need to sit down and have a talk. About us.” She was cowed, a little surprised.
“OK.” She smiled. “But first you’ve got to go on TV.”
*****
“Two minutes to show time!” barked a short, stout humanoid who was carrying a megaphone and bullying people into action. I figured he was the producer, or something similar. “Let’s make it happen, people!”
I stood at my desk, between the two teams. There was a lump of panic in my chest. The audience, which was now settled down and happy after a warm-up light show with dancers, seemed vast but I was more concerned about the delegates. The Jakalzzians, in particular, looked hardened, intractable and paranoid. A little nervous. Capable of anything.
As the countdown continued and the make-up girl applied one last swish of non-reflecting dust to my face, I took the opportunity to just be there. Deep breaths. Look around. I’m on an alien planet. Moderating a debate of great importance to the lives of many. I’m preventing a war.
Dante’s line from Clerks popped into my head, across the light-years and decades: I’m not even supposed to be here today.
A minute to go. I glanced over at the teams once more. They sat quietly, occasionally glaring at each other. Not a great start. The Gaspirian team consisted of two Erosine Raptors, Amazonian and voluptuous with flowing blonde hair and intimidating musculature, who dwarfed the four-foot ten Elder. He stood between them in simple, white robes, superiority and moral confidence etched on his face. He fled, I knew, in the initial exodus of Elders, and had received a variety of genetic treatments to keep him alive and healthy, past his thousandth year. Most Raptors tired of their men after a century or two, but he had stayed the distance. A thousand years of sexual ecstasy. And you’ll risk war for it, you selfish prick.
The Jakalzzian team muttered together. They really did look a hard-bitten bunch. Running a fractious, occasionally demented, frequently illogical community like theirs was bound to age even the most ardent idealist. These hatchet-faced three reminded me of no-one as much as pirates or smugglers, with a dash of Star Trek Ferengi thrown in. They did not look to have a reasonable, compassionate, empathizing bone in their wizened bodies.
What the fuck am I doing here?
“Five, four, three…” lights went up, cameras swung around, and the audience broke into loud applause. The studio announcer’s voice boomed into the auditorium.
“Live from the WKKJW studio in Numkli, in the shadows of Numkli Prime, welcome, ladies, gentlemen and other beings to this edition of… Question Time!” Razzamatazz music started from somewhere, more lights came up, and I was suddenly bathed in photons. Squinting slightly, I smiled at as many cameras as I could see until one dropped out of the ceiling, hovered before me and started blinking. The audience gradually quietened.
“Good evening, good morning, or whatever…” I got a laugh for that. Jesus, this might actually be an easy room. “Welcome to the debate, welcome to Question Time and welcome to Numkli for this special edition.” Warm applause. “I have agreed to act as moderator in a debate covering the ongoing dispute between the Jakalzzi tribe of the 12th planet,” I motioned to them, prompting a mix of cheers and hisses from the audience, “and the former Jakalzzian Elders and their consorts, the Erosine Raptors of Gaspiri, the 11th planet”. A similar response. The Raptors beamed, swept back their hair, and lapped up the attention.
“Now, you all know the story”. The audience were quiet once more. “The practice of Hephage has been among the most divisive cultural institutions of the last 1000 years. No-one disputes that this practice, whatever its benefits to the system, has caused many years of war. Since the ceasefire signing eight years ago”, applause at the memory of this tremendous achievement, “the two sides have resolved to sit down together and come to a mutually agreeable solution”. More applause. I glanced at both teams. At least one member of each trio was staring at the other team with hatred in their eyes. Didn’t you people get the memo? We’re all supposed to love each other now, and to solve disputes peacefully. Get on the fucking bus.
“To recap, for those of you who are unaware of this system and its history. The Jakalzzian Elders changed their constitution to allow marriage outside of their own species, in order that they would become able to take Erosine Raptors as their wives”. Hissing from the crowd, and menacing scowls from the Jakalzzian team; the betrayal and exodus might have taken place a thousand years ago, but for them it remained a deep, fresh wound. The Jakalzzian Elder sat, arms crossed, defiant. “This act allegedly conflicts with the spirit of Jakalzzi law, which holds that constitutional changes should only be made in manners which benefit the whole community.” And a referendum, but they omitted that constitutional nicety.
The Elder stood and was immediately pounced on by two guards who were stood behind his team. He sat, throwing off their large hands from his shoulders, and glowered at the other team. I pleaded inwardly. For God’s sake don’t let this turn into fucking Jerry Springer. I couldn’t cope.
“The Elders believe that, having brought the Raptors out of their traditionally isolationist mindset, they have brought considerable negotiating prowess to the region. This has, inarguably, avoided conflicts between moons of the 6th and 8th planets”, warm applause from the audience, “and settled a number of inter-system disputes which could easily have turned violent”. The two Raptors beamed once more. They were just loving the attention and had come dressed to please. One wore only a leather bra and black leather pants. The other went for a miniskirt look with a tube-top. Both were stunning, as I’m sure the producer and cameramen had realised.
“However, the constitutional crisis caused by the practice of marrying Raptors, which became known as Hephage” - one of the Jakalzzi team spat on the floor at this word and was rewarded with a stern glare from a guard - “led to civil unrest and the fleeing of the Elders to the 11th planet.” The audience reacted once more. They were really into this.
“Even there, dispute followed them. Raptor tradition does not permit foreigners to remain on the planet for longer than it takes to carry out their business, and so they were obliged to leave once more. They now make their home on the fourth moon of Gaspiri, where a mixed Jakalzzi-Raptor population totals over ten thousand. They have attempted to declare independence from Gaspiri, the Raptor planet, but this has not been granted.”
More hissing, booing and cheering. “I will now hand over to each time in turn, and they will explain their positions. I remind both teams,” I paused to glance at each, “that they have signed strict agreements regarding conduct. We are honoured that the leadership from both parties has been able to join us, but this debate can only go ahead under the agreed terms.”
The audience clapped again, and by coin-toss, the Raptors and their fugitive husband took the stand first. Whether the thunderous, foot-stamping applause was due more to the compelling nature of their case, or the enormity of the plaintiff’s breasts, was hard to discern.
Flanked by the seven feet tall Raptors, the Elder looked tiny. He stood defiant, confident, as the applause died down. Then, piercing the audience with radiant blue eyes, the little old
man began.
“I stand before you today with my wife”, he motioned to his left, “and the wife of my son, who remains on our moon to co-ordinate affairs there. I send him, and my people, our warmest greetings”. All three bowed deeply, hands splayed out in front, and then resumed their defiant stance.
“For a thousand years we have fought to gain acceptance from our ancestors on Jakalzzi. What our forefathers did, and whether or not it represents a transgression against the constitution, is irrelevant. The matter before us today is whether or not we decide together to bury the hatchet… to use a new expression from the home planet of our esteemed moderator”. He bowed in my direction. I remained still, unwilling to be impressed by flattery. My impartiality was crucial.
“Words cannot express”, he continued, addressing the audience directly, “the powers that exist among the species we call the Erosine Raptor”. They beamed once more. For intelligent beings, or supposedly such, they spent a lot of time standing around smiling, flaunting their incredible bodies. I wondered if either would speak up. “These beings possess empathic and discursive powers the likes of which would have put a stop to the great, destructive wars of our past… with these beings as part of our politics, economics, even religion, the Frejudium cannon would never have been used… perhaps never even existed!” He became animated and gestured strongly at the audience. “Think about that!”
They did, murmuring. He was doing well, but would he provide the needed olive branch? “And while doing so, consider the loss to all our societies if we Elders, as the present Jakalzzi government request, divorce our wives, renounce Hephage, and return to answer charges.” He waved a cautionary finger again at the audience. “There is more to be gained here than the meaningless settling of ancient scores.”
He breathed deeply for a few moments, as if gathering strength. Or pondering whether to say what would come next. The audience was quite literally on the edge of their seats. “We request independence from both Jakalzzi and Gaspiri, to form a democratic government with a strong foreign policy ethic. We will assist in whatever disputes occur in this system, or any of our immediate neighbours, with no cost to the protagonists. And we propose a binding non-aggression pact with Jakalzzi, the dismantling under impartial observation of the Frejudium Cannon, and the certified destruction of its blueprints. This offer we make in peace. Thank you.”
Voyage Page 16
