by Sam Carter
“I heard what you guys were talking about.”
“Don’t you worry, Stacy. We’ve got this all under control. Everyone will be fine. You’ll be fine.”
“I heard you, though. And I’ve heard others whispering about it. You don’t have enough to cure us all.” Harlan opened his mouth to protest, to say something comforting, but nothing came out. He had no words. “I volunteer. I’m ok to go.”
“No.” Tears, once again, filled Harlan’s eyes. He wondered if he would ever run out. “I can’t let you do that. You have so much life left to live.”
“And so do the other kids here. They all can do so much. I wouldn’t be able to live knowing I had taken that from them.”
“But, your dad. You can’t . . .”
“It’s ok, Harlan.” Phil put his hand on Harlan’s arm. “We talked about it. She’s right. It’s the best solution. I will be ok.”
Harlan looked at Clara. She was crying, too, but she nodded at Harlan. Letting him know this was right. It didn’t feel right. He knew it never would, but it was what had to happen. If she wouldn’t change her mind, then it was all there was to do.
“Ok. If that’s what you want.”
“It is. It really is,” Stacy said with one of her amazing smiles.
“Then sit tight. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll take care of these other patients and be back. Got it?”
“Got it, Dr. Allred. I’ll be right here.”
Harlan walked back out into the chaos. As he closed the door he knew he would never see Stacy again.
Chapter 67
Harlan looked at the mass of health-care workers—no one had any idea what was about to happen. Of course, that’s what you sign up for when you choose this path. The unknown. Each day, each hour, each second different from the last. It’s what had drawn Harlan to it and, right now, it’s what was pushing him away.
The one person he didn’t see was Alex. This made him nervous. Was Alex waiting to crash their plans? Was he going to allow Barry’s legacy to live on by doing what he was told? Harlan kept waiting for him to jump out and ruin everything.
“Where’s Dr. James?” Harlan asked Clarence as he walked by.
“No idea. No one has seen him since you two were talking earlier.”
This didn’t ease his fears, but it didn’t mean he could sit around and wait for something else bad to happen. It was time to move this forward and finally save these kids. Except Stacy. Why couldn’t he save Stacy?
The next few minutes were a blur, as it often was when life was on the line. Harlan called out instructions, giving anyone available orders to inject the eleven patients with this medicine through their IVs. He never told them what it was or what it was for. Talking about snakes and antivenom would only cause confusion. He needed them to just go. Trust him. Not ask questions.
And they did. Harlan went from room to room, checking on each patient. On each nurse. He saw Dr. Baxter doing the same thing. This made him think about Alex more. His absence was disturbing. Alex had never missed an opportunity to be in the limelight, and this was his chance. His chance to one-up Harlan. Instead, he was nowhere to be found.
Harlan also noticed, as Rodriguez had alluded to earlier, that Lucy had come back. She was working with one of the patients. She was helping to save a life. Just like she had when she tried to stop Cole. This time, however, she would be successful.
After rounding and seeing that things were going well, that it appeared that this would actually work, he rested his head on the nurse’s station. Exhausted. Happy and devastated at the same time. He felt a tap on his shoulder and saw Lucy looking back at him.
“Thanks for coming in, Lucy. We couldn’t have done this without all these skilled hands.”
“You said you needed help, and I knew you wouldn’t call.” She smiled at him. He wished he could return it, but all he could think about was Cole and Stacy. “Why aren’t you smiling? You’ve accomplished some amazing things today. Enjoy it.”
“I can’t. Not with . . .” He paused. He didn’t want to talk about Cole. He didn’t want to say it out loud again. “Not with so much left still to do. It’s not over yet.”
“I know. But just smile a little. Look at what you’ve done.”
He looked around. He saw happy parents whose kids would be ok. Happy nurses, who knew they had made a difference and saved the lives of children. But he didn’t see Cole. He didn’t see Stacy. He only saw more failure.
“It’s hard. When you can’t save them all, it’s hard to smile about anything.” He put his head back down and cried some more. He hadn’t cried this much since he was a child. And even then, it couldn’t have been as much as this.
“Harlan!” It was Clara. “Have you heard about Stacy?”
“No. Is she gone already? I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Clara grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to room 418. She opened the door and pushed him in.
“Dr. Allred! Look!” He looked, and he couldn’t believe it. Her IV was filled with medication. It was filled with the antivenom that was now pumping through her veins.
“What? How?” He looked back and forth from smiling Stacy, to ecstatic Phil, to the IV, hoping this wasn’t a dream.
“That doctor. The one I didn’t like before? He came in, told me what he was doing got it started. Then he left without saying a word.”
Alex? Alex had saved Stacy’s life.
Chapter 68
Harland tried wrapping his head around something that made no sense at all. An impossible problem that had no answer. Harlan had been through medical school, residency, fellowship, and thousands of complex cases. He had been through marriage, babies, diapers, debt, and divorce. None of those life situations confused him as much as Alex saving Stacy’s life.
Harlan knocked on Alex’s office door, hoping he would be in there. Hoping to thank him and find out what had changed.
“Come in.”
Harlan walked in and opened his mouth to say something when Alex wordlessly pointed to a small box on his desk with a note on top. Harlan picked them up and opened the note.
“Alex,
There is enough for one patient in the box. You decide who lives. Then, as promised, you will get all the credit. You will live forever as the man who first cured one and then thousands.
The Voice”
Harlan read the note again. Nothing should surprise him anymore, especially not from Barry, but this did. He planned to have Alex save just one and then turn that one into millions of dollars. He planned to turn eleven dead, innocent kids into piles of money.
“I couldn’t do it. Once I saw it, I couldn’t do it. Just save one? No way. It wasn’t worth all the fame and accolades in the world.” Alex paused and stared blankly out the window, like he was still trying to wrap his head around all of this, too.
“He wasn’t going to give you the credit anyway. He was going to take it himself. He told me that not long ago. He used you.”
“I was just going to take off and never come back.” He continued like he hadn’t heard what Harlan said at all. “And I was on my way, when I heard a nurse say all were going to be fine, except one. Stacy. That little Stacy was going to die.”
“But she’s not. Because of you. When it mattered most, you came through.”
“She was the one who amped my stupidity to the level it is now, ya know? That night. I let that incident cloud my judgment. I was so angry. Thinking I should have been there, and that life would be better for me if I had. At least that’s what I told myself.”
Harlan had had no idea. It would always amaze Harlan what flipped the switch in people. It was usually something small, something that didn’t even make sense. This case was no different.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid, Harlan. I was taking part in the murder of eleven kids. And for what? To get back at you? So people would like me?” Alex stood up and walked toward Harlan. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for letting this happen. For being an absolute fool.”
“Me, too. I take a lot of blame for this, too. But, give yourself some credit. You saved one. You are the reason all of them will live.”
“But I let someone I couldn’t see control me. Because I wanted power. Because I didn’t want people to know about me.”
This surprised Harlan a little bit. He knew about the power. He figured that was all Barry would need to get Alex, but did he have a secret he was hiding, too? Should Harlan push it and find out more? Did it even matter? Would it change anything? This might be the only time he and Alex were on the same page, but it could also be the start of a better partnership.
“I’ve said too much. I should go. I don’t deserve to be here right now anyway.” With that, Alex answered Harlan’s question. This would be a conversation for another day.
“Come on, Alex. Stick around. Stacy will want to see you.”
“Maybe later. I need to get out of here and think. Figure out what I’m doing with my life. What I almost did.”
“Do what you think is best. I know how hard this was for you. Now I know the real you.” Harlan reached out and shook Alex’s hand. Alex actually smiled a bit.
Just as Harlan was about to leave, his phone rang. It wasn’t the one from Barry or the loaner, but it still made him jump. He was going to trash every phone he ever had as soon as he got home.
“This is Harlan.”
“It’s Clara. You need to get down here now.”
“Why? What’s going on? The patients, are they ok?” Harlan’s heart stopped. They hadn’t saved them, had they? He had been wrong again.
“They’re fine. Emily is here looking for you. Please come quickly. She won’t leave until she sees you.”
“Why? Did she say why?” Emily was there? Even when they were married, he couldn’t think of one time when she had visited him at work.
“She just says she needs to see you. Something is going on with her. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
As Harlan walked back he thought about Jack worrying about her and wanting Harlan to talk to her. He thought about what Barry had said to him earlier. Ask your ex-wife. He thought that whatever was coming, he wasn’t prepared for it, and he didn’t like that.
He wanted to turn and run, not deal with something else. Mourn the loss of Cole alone, something he had not had the chance to do. Part of him was grateful for that, but the rest of him just wanted to grieve. He needed to grieve.
That would have to wait. He couldn’t run and hide. He promised Jack he would talk to her. As he rounded the corner and saw her standing there, he wished he hadn’t. He wished he didn’t have to face whatever this was.
“Harlan. I’m glad I caught you.” Emily smiled at him. When was the last time she had done that? Then she hugged him, which confused him even more.
“Is everything ok?” he said as he pulled away from her. “You’ve never visited me before.”
“Everything is fine. I got your text.” He had forgotten he had texted her earlier. It seemed like years ago. “Thank you for that. It meant a lot. Can we talk somewhere private?” There were a lot of eyes glued to them, including Lucy’s. Those were not happy eyes either.
He led her around the corner to a hallway where they could have some privacy. He didn’t want to go with yet another person to the break room. He had been there enough.
“So, what’s up?” Harlan said after an uncomfortable silence.
“I guess . . . it’s just . . . this is hard.” She took a deep breath and looked Harlan in the eyes. “Your text made me realize how poorly I’ve treated you. Not just lately, but for a long time. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. You’ve been just fine. You have so much going on.” He was surprised by her apology. The way she carried herself, the tone in her voice—she sounded like Emily again. Like the Emily he fell in love with years ago.
“I haven’t, Harlan. There are no excuses. You deserve better. The kids deserve better. They deserve us.” She moved closer to him. He took a step back.
“What are you trying to say, Emily?”
“I’m saying we need to give this another try. If you want.” Again, Harlan was thrown another curve. How many had that been in the last few days? He’d lost count.
“You’re being so quiet. Isn’t this what you want, Harlan?”
“If you had asked me a few days ago, I would have been jumping for joy. But, right now, I’m not in a place to make that decision. Can you give me time to think it through?”
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere,” she said with a smile. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
Harlan walked with her for a second and pointed her in the direction she needed to go to get out. This was confusing, but a good confusing. A confusion he was glad to have in his life.
“Harlan? Can you come here for a second?” It was Phil calling from Stacy’s room and he looked concerned.
“Of course. Is everything ok?”
“Who was that woman you were just talking to?”
“My ex-wife. Why?” Phil looked at Stacy and Harlan followed suit. Stacy’s eyes were glued to her door. She looked terrified, as if she were living a nightmare.
Harlan sprinted out of the door until he caught up with Emily. She looked surprised and happy to see him so soon.
“Why did you really come here?” Harlan asked, as Emily frowned a bit.
“What do you mean? I already told you. To apologize and make things better between us.”
“Please don’t lie to me. Why did you really come here today?”
Emily was no longer looking at Harlan. She was staring past him to the patients’ rooms. Tears began to fill her eyes.
“It was you, wasn’t it? It was you who caused the accident that night?”
Emily collapsed to the floor. She said nothing. She just cried. Harlan turned and walked back to his patients.
Chapter 69
Six months later
If anyone had ever told Harlan that he would miss a Mariners Opening Day, especially one where they would raise an AL West Championship banner, he would have thought they had lost their mind. But it was true. He was nowhere near the stadium. Instead, he sat where he now spent every Sunday night. At Cole’s grave.
Harlan would just sit there and talk. A beer on Cole’s grave and soda in Harlan’s hand. This weekly ritual was one of the few things that kept him sane. It’s amazing what you can figure out when you just talk. Even if no one responds.
“They offered Barry a plea deal and he wouldn’t take it. I don’t get it. I am not sure anyone has ever been caught more red handed than he was, but he still keeps pushing forward. Have I told what they charged him with? Three counts of murder, a whole slew of attempted murder charges because of the twelve kids he’d tried to kill and so many blackmail charges I’ve lost count. Just take the plea and move on.”
Harlan paused and took another drink, thought for a second about what he had just said and listened for any advice Cole might whisper.
“But I guess that makes sense. The arrogance to do what he did . . . He probably just thinks he can get away with it, or maybe he loves the idea of hearing his crimes replayed over and over again for everyone to hear. He is sick and twisted enough.”
Sometimes, when Harlan would come visit his best friend’s grave, he would talk the whole time and sometimes he sat there wordlessly. Today was one of those days that he spilt his guts. Everything just came flowing out. He just needed to be somewhere else, with someone who understood him completely.
“What he did to all those people . . . I will never get it. I will never understand Josie either. How could that first-class, incompetent jerk have been a high-ranking member of a Japanese mob? She couldn’t even tie her shoelaces without help, so how could she have moved her way up that family?”
Harlan paused, looked over at Cole and smiled until the laugh flew out of him. He could actually hear Cole laughing, too.
“I guess Hi-Ho Silver wasn’t just her nickname in the medical world!”
Laughing sure felt good. He needed to do this more.
“Lucy has been there for me every step of this process. It’s weird, man. You should see the way people look at us when we are together. I am surprised she hasn’t picked up on it and run to find someone better.”
This relationship with Lucy wasn’t perfect, and he wasn’t even sure what you would call it—mostly because Harlan would often find himself terrified of where this would lead and hide himself away for a few days. Call it PTSD or just plain stupidity, he was happy that Lucy was patient as he worked through his issues.
“Emily calls occasionally, too. Not just about the kids, but to talk. I don’t know how I feel about it.”
Harlan talked to Cole about Emily a lot. He felt like he was even starting to understand Emily better now, too. Cole helped with that. When he was alive and now.
He didn’t know why he walked away from her that day at the hospital. Even then he knew he wasn’t doing the right thing. He should have stayed and consoled her, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop and help someone who had ruined a little girl’s life and, to be honest, his life, too. He didn’t care if it made him look bad. At that moment, he wanted nothing to do with her.
For four years, Harlan had wondered what would happen, how he would react, when they finally found out who had caused that accident. It never crossed his mind it would be someone he knew. Someone he loved. Someone who let him believe he had been the one who had abandoned their marriage. But she had been the one. That very day, it had been her.
When he thought about it, he still got angry. But Cole would just listen, and Harlan would start to forgive. He was getting there. He hoped.
“You should have seen Rodriguez working on this investigation. She’s incredible. Every time they try to push the narrative to make it look like it was all Luke, she pushes it right back at them. Have I ever told you about her dad? It makes so much sense why she is such an advocate for mental health. She’s done so much good from such a bad thing, really trying to make things better for so many.”
