by Ali Parker
“Then you’re single?”
“Yes.”
“Great,” he said.
My mouth dropped open. “Why is that great?”
“I’d love to take you out sometime,” he said, leaning toward me. “There is a very expensive place by the water that I think you’d enjoy.”
The risotto felt like an anchor in my stomach.
“What about your girlfriends?” I asked.
He snorted. “Not my girlfriends. It’s rude to show up to a party without a date.”
“Two of them?”
He slapped the table, rattling the silverware. “You’re funny. Now I know why Alex likes using you.”
My throat tightened. Using me?
“You’re serious?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “You’re different. Smart, beautiful, the complete package. Alex doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”
Speaking of Alex. He appeared at the table again, interrupting the strange conversation. I was almost grateful.
“Sorry,” he said, sliding into his chair. “My parents always call at the worst times.”
I was no longer hungry. I placed my napkin on the table next to my half eaten dish. “I should head back to pick up Amber for the party.”
Alex frowned and glanced at Bret. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Let’s get that wrapped up,” he said, indicating my meal. “And I’ll drive you back to the dorm.”
The girls returned by the time the waiter came back with our check.
“Don’t worry,” Bret said, taking the check from the waiter. “I’ll get this.”
“I have the money,” Alex said.
“I have more,” Bret said with a grin.
Alex clenched his jaw as he stared at his friend. A war took place on his face, and I wasn’t sure if there was going to be a fight or not.
Bret’s hand remained firmly on the check. Alex would have to pry it out to get it.
Instead, he said, “Thanks,” and then came over to me and took my hand.
Bret winked at me as Alex and I walked away. An uncomfortable weight settled in my stomach. Neither of us expected Bret to show up with those annoying girls. His presence dragged the elephant back into the room. When we got outside, I was able to breathe again.
“Sorry about all that,” Alex said, holding the passenger side door open for me. “I didn’t know he was coming.”
“It’s fine,” I said, getting into the car.
On the ride to the dorm, I couldn’t help but think about Bret’s words. Going into the deal with Alex, I told myself that I’d keep my eyes wide open, knowing that a hot guy like Alex would never be interested in me for real. But it still stung.
When we arrived at the dorm, I already decided about that night, and it broke my heart enough that I wouldn’t tell Alex.
Like a gentleman, he got out of the car with me and walked me to the front door. Why did all of this have to be so confusing?
“I’ll see you in a little while?” he asked.
“We’ll walk over when we’re ready,” I said, staring at my hands.
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait.”
He left me to go back to the parking lot. I watched him go with my heart breaking in my chest.
Chapter 15
Alex
Two hours passed before I left the party. Lily hadn’t texted me to say she wasn’t coming. With each passing minute without her, my chest ached even more. I couldn’t help imagining that she was hurt or in an accident. What other reason did she have for not showing up? She told me she was coming when she and Amber were ready. Sending a text would have been the polite thing to do. She seemed as annoyed as I was when Bret came into the restaurant. He seemed adamant earlier to know exactly where Lily and I were going to before the party. I regretted telling him the moment I saw him show up.
What was his deal anyhow? Lily seemed less than impressed, and she barely finished her food before we left. The night wasn’t turning out how I expected. And now with her not showing up, I knew something was wrong.
I barely drank anything, as my stomach twisted in knots while waiting for her. No one noticed as they were too busy enjoying the drinks themselves.
The music blaring from the speakers was suddenly too loud, and the gyrating girls on the dance floor weren't what I wanted in front of me. I jumped up from the couch and headed out through the kitchen, grabbing my car keys.
I drove over to Lily’s dorm, checking out everyone who was walking around campus. Her red dress was nowhere to be found.
I double parked behind her dorm and jogged around the building to the front door. I knew where her room was from outside the building. The room was dark with no lights to indicate there was life inside. I hoped she wasn’t hiding from me.
Two guys were coming out from the building, and I sneaked in behind them. The resident assistant sat at the front desk. She looked at me expectantly.
“Can I help you?” she asked, flipping her black, springy curls over her shoulder.
“I’m looking for Lily Davis,” I said, glancing at the elevator. That was why I liked living in my own house, no people to get through if I wanted to go up to Lily’s room.
“I saw her leave a while ago with her roommate.”
“Do you know where they went?”
She eyed me. “No idea.”
“Can I go up there and check?”
“She’s not here,” the girl said.
I took a steadying breath. “Thank you,” I said through my teeth.
I went back outside and texted Lily again. My string of unanswered texts mocked me from the screen. What was her problem? She had no idea what she was doing to me. I thought she was all about our agreement. Parties were a part of that deal.
I tried calling her twice, and I was sent to voicemail both times. I fisted my phone in my hand and squeezed it. What else could I do? It was obvious that she was avoiding me. At least I was happy she was healthy enough to do so. But I couldn’t wrap my mind around why.
Had Bret ruined another good time between Lily and me?
Dejected, I headed back to the AKA house. The moment I arrived, I went straight up to my room. The party seemed lame without Lily there. I imagined this night going so much differently.
I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling for some time, listening to the thumping music through the floor below me.
Sometime later, my bedroom door opened. I sat up, expecting to ream whatever pledge or brother dared disturb me.
Bret stood in the doorway, his mouth open in a wide grin. “Alex. What the hell are you doing up here?”
I stood up, straightening my shirt. “I’m not in the mood tonight.” I went over to my desk. My Cost Accounting book stared up at me. Maybe I could get a jump on the next assignment.
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “Those girls you met tonight were asking about you. I have no preference for either, so whichever one you don’t want I’ll take.”
“I’m not interested,” I said, wishing he’d go away. He did enough damage today.
Bret walked over to me and clapped a hand on my back.
I winced.
“You can’t be hung up on some ridiculous freshman nerd,” he said.
I turned to him, my eyes narrowing. “She’s not ridiculous.”
“You can do so much better!” Bret said with a laugh. “You already had sex with her. You hit it now you need to quit it.”
“That’s not what she means to me,” I said. His true nature shone through tonight, and I wasn’t sure if it was the booze or his personality.
“Just come down to the party,” he said. “Distract yourself with hotter girls.”
“No way,” I said. “I’m done for the night. I’d rather study for my accounting final.”
Bret let out a whooping laugh. He stood there, doubled over for a few moments before his eyes met mine. “You’re serious?”
&
nbsp; “Yeah,” I said. Why wasn’t he getting the hint?
He stood straighter and cocked his head to the side. “Going to our parties is your duty as president of this fraternity. Ever since you met that little nerd, you’ve been blowing off your duties. We used to have a good time together. Now all you want to do is dig your nose in a book.”
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I wasn’t about to argue over a girl. He had the money to buy his degree. He knew my family struggled yet he continued to berate me.
“You used to be cool, man,” Bret said. “Now you’re anything but.”
“I don’t need this from you right now,” I said, trying to stop this conversation from getting worse for either of us. Arguing with my best friend wasn’t going to help me find Lily. And telling him off wasn’t going to make this situation any easier. I decided to leave it alone. He’d never understand the fear of losing a scholarship and the one girl who stood out from all the rest.
Chapter 16
Lily
Alex affected my life more than I wanted. I loved my college classes, but when Monday came around, I dreaded Cost Accounting so much that I wanted to skip it. If it were earlier in the semester, I might have, but I couldn’t risk missing out on anything so close to the final. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let trivial things like boys and parties overshadow my dreams. And here I was, hiding out under my covers, snoozing my alarm clock three times!
“O-M-G,” Amber croaked. “Turn it off or get up.”
“Sorry,” I said, flipping the alarm off. I rolled out of bed and checked the time. I always got up early, so I still had time to shower. I was quiet as a mouse and Amber was back asleep when I came back to the room to change.
I went to the student union for breakfast, checking over my shoulder every few seconds. Avoiding Alex was easy enough when he lived off campus, but I couldn't be too careful. He always seemed to find me when I didn’t want him to.
I hid in the corner, my chair blocked by a small wall while I sipped my coffee and munched on a blueberry muffin. I had a good view of anyone who came into the building and Alex wasn’t one of them.
I timed it perfectly so that I arrived in class right before Professor Tarrington closed the door. I perfected the technique last time Alex and I were on the outs. I wondered if that was my new schedule for the rest of the year. We didn’t have that many classes left, so I didn’t mind so much.
I avoided looking in his direction when I entered the room.
For the duration of the class, I leaned my head against my open left hand so I wouldn’t be tempted.
The last five minutes were torturous. As quietly as possible, I sneaked my notebook and textbook into my bag so by the time class ended I was the first out the door.
I didn’t look back until I heard him calling my name outside my dorm. I glanced up and saw him already standing at the door.
I froze. “How did you get here so quickly?”
“You know I’m a track star, right?” he said with a smirk.
“What do you want?” I asked, grabbing my keys. I brushed past him and shoved the key into the lock.
“Why have you been avoiding me?”
“I’m not,” I said, pulling open the door.
He moved his body to block me from getting through the doorway. “That’s bullshit. What happened to you the other night? You said you were coming to the party. I know you got my texts and phone calls. I was worried.”
“I don’t feel like going to frat parties anymore,” I said. “They’re boring and stupid.”
Wow, I sounded childish, but I wasn’t able to think clearly with him so close to me.
A frown shaped his lips, and then he shrugged. “That’s your opinion, even though it's in the minority.”
I scoffed. “Is that all?”
His hand gripped the door harder. “No, that’s not all. Screw the parties, can we still spend time together?”
Bret’s words about Alex using me flew to the front of my mind. All weekend I thought about them, turning them over in my head, wondering if I could be mistaken about Alex. I wasn’t. It was stupid to think that I could fool around with Alex and not get hurt. Now I knew better.
I tried to deny my feelings for him, but I couldn’t anymore. He was incredibly sweet but surrounded himself with girls and partying, showing off the fact that he didn’t care about me. He only used me to get a good grade in class.
If we spent any more time together, then I was sure to fall for him even more, and I couldn't do that. Not when I knew I’d be setting myself up for disappointment. If I fell head over heels for him, then he would surely break my heart in two. And I was too smart to do that.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t see you anymore.”
He shook his head and his lips parted slightly “Lily, I don’t—”
I took his momentary distraction and pushed into the building. “Goodbye Alex.” I closed the second door behind me so he couldn’t follow. I had to end the conversation before I said something I regretted. For the sake of my heart, I had to let him go.
Alex didn’t text or call me over the next couple days. He finally got the hint that I didn’t want to see or hear from him. As much as that hurt, it was necessary. He probably had another girl on the line the moment we ended our conversation.
I knew he would do fine on the final in Cost Accounting. He didn’t need me as much as he thought.
Amber was kind to me throughout the whole ordeal. I opened up to her more than I ever did and we became closer because of it. She offered some stories about high school and boys who broke her heart and vice versa.
We were headed to the cafeteria for dinner when I heard someone calling my name.
My heart leaped. I wished Alex would take the hint! Didn’t he know what he was doing to me?
I whirled around, expecting to tell him that when I came face to face with Bret.
“Bret!” I said. “Hi.” He was alone, my heart sank.
Amber nudged my arm and her eyebrows lifted in surprise. I could practically hear the words in her head about me snagging two frat guys. President and Vice President nonetheless.
What she didn’t know is that I wanted neither of them.
“I haven’t seen you in forever,” Bret chirped.
“I saw you Saturday,” I said.
He chuckled. “That’s how much I missed you.”
Missed me? What was he getting at?
“Will I see you at the Mistletoe Meltdown on Saturday?” he asked.
Amber gave me a look, knowing that decision was up to me. If this happened weeks ago, she would have forced me. But she understood how uncomfortable it would be for me to show up at Alex’s house.
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” As much as Bret ruined the intimate moments between Alex and me, he was still hot and admittedly made me a little nervous. I hoped he wouldn’t push me about this.
“No way.” Bret stuck his lower lip out in a pout. “You’re the guest of honor.”
I shot a look at him. “Guest of honor?”
He bobbed his head and stepped closer to me.
Tingles shot through my body, but not the good kind.
“The service you provided to our president earned you that honor.”
“Services?” Amber asked.
I rolled my eyes. She always defaulted to the dirty side of any phrasing. “Tutoring. His grades have improved.”
“Yes, they have,” Bret said, affirming my statement. “So, you see, you need to be there. If you aren’t, then the whole party will be ruined.”
I snorted. “I doubt that. Your thanks is good enough for me.”
Something flashed in Bret’s eyes. Disappointment or anger. I couldn’t tell. He’d have no reason to be angry with me. He seemed like the type of guy who always got his way.
“There’s also a special surprise for you,” he said.
“A surprise?” Amber asked, grinning at me. “Then you have to go.�
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Bret nodded. “Listen to your friend. I promise you will love it.”
I sighed, debating my options. Was Alex a part of this surprise? Was this my last chance to remain friends with him? It would make the last few weeks of classes a little less awkward.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be there.”
Bret’s face split into a wide grin. “Perfect.”
Chapter 17
Alex
The final touch of my Mistletoe Meltdown outfit sat on top of my desk. The mistletoe laced crown that the fraternity president wore for many years mocked me. The party already started downstairs, but I was unable to get up from my bed. Tonight’s uniform was more casual than the rest. The central part of the party was the girls. The pledges passed out little mistletoe pins, and as long as a girl wore one, she was up to participate in the meltdown. It was entirely voluntary, but it was rare that any girl who attended wasn’t aware of the rules.
Next to the crown sat my Cost Accounting book. I smiled at the fact that I did well on the exam yesterday and unless I completely tanked the final, I was going to pass the class. That was all because of one girl. The one girl who hated me because I couldn’t admit my feelings for her. With my time away from Lily, I had a lot of free time to think about what went down between us.
The victory wasn’t as sweet because I didn’t have her to celebrate with me. I missed her, more than I ever had before. Her missing from my life was a great loss, and I started to second guess everything in my life. The other brothers, especially Bret, always talked about how girls flitted in and out of their lives and that was okay for them. They wanted to explore all that college had to offer. But after finding a girl who I connected with mentally and physically, I was done with all that. I wanted just her. Why hadn’t I told her that when I had the chance? Did it take losing her to finally realize my deeper feelings?
Glancing around my room, I was somewhat disgusted by my surroundings. I didn’t want this anymore. I wanted something more, and I wanted Lily. The idea of resigning as AKA president floated through my mind over the last few days. I couldn’t fully commit to her when I had the fraternity looming over my head. Without the frat as a distraction, I could completely focus on my classes and maybe even graduate with honors. That would also mean I’d have to pay for on-campus housing, which my parents couldn’t afford. I was in a dilemma, and Lily was at the center of it.
