by Jamie Magee
I was sick; so mad, I was sick. I looked forward, then took in a deep breath. I knew my father wasn’t going to let me step down the alley, and if he followed me he’d see this – and that would be the end. Dane would never recover from this action; not that he deserved to, but still I didn’t want anyone else to see it. I extended my hand around the corner and pushed a bolt of my energy down the alley. It was so strong, I heard it rumble the dumpster at the other end.
My father’s curiosity grew, and he started to step slowly toward me. The emotions I felt diminished, and alarm rose; not fear, just alarm. A second later, the woman walked out of the alley. I couldn’t see her face; it was shadowed by the hood she was wearing, and she didn’t look my way as she turned to walk out of the alley. As she walked away, she tightened the belt around her coat. I was ailing with anger. I thought about pushing a bolt of energy at her, but just as I went to raise my hand, I felt my father’s hand on my shoulder.
“What’s going on?” he asked, quietly watching the woman disappear into the darkness.
I shook my head. “Wait here,” I said, turning to go into the alley.
“No, Willow,” my father argued, gripping my shoulder.
I turned to look at him. “Dad, I’m following my emotions. My head is high, and if you want to see me yell, I’m sure you can hear it from here.”
“Who’s down there?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, determined to follow me.
At that moment, Dane stepped out of the alley. My father raised his eyebrows, then looked in the direction the woman had just walked.
“OK,” my father said, letting go of my shoulder, then nodding to tell me to do what I had to do.
Dane was looking down the street for anyone else that might be with us. I raised my hand slightly and pushed my energy at him, thrusting him back into the alley. I then turned sharply to follow him. You’d think I’d feel guilt or remorse, maybe even fear coming from him, but he was calm and held the same expression. It made me so mad that I pushed my energy at him again, forcing him to the wall. I held it there, pinning him in place. He struggled like a fool, even trying to push against it, but I was so mad that whatever power I had was intensified.
“Do you want to explain yourself?!” I said in a harsh whisper.
“Explain what?!” he retorted shortly.
“Are you out of your f’” I had to hold back the onslaught of curse words that wanted to fly from my mouth. “You’re possessed – is that it?!”
He shook his head and smiled sardonically. “Could you at least tell me what I did?” he said, trying to push against the hold I had on him.
“You want me to say it?!” I said through gritted teeth. “You want me to explain what I saw? What I felt? I have never...I...I could just kill you right now and never have a single regret.”
“Kill me?” he said in a gasp. “Looks like your bad company is wearing off on you.”
I pulled my hand back and forced another blow of energy at him, then raised him just inches off the ground against the wall. “I’ve never – and I mean never - had emotions like that come from me! How sick are you?! If I said the name ‘Clarissa’, would I feel guilt coming from you? Do you even know who she is anymore? You’ve disgraced everything our world stands for!”
“Our world?! That is not our world – and my relationships are none of your business.”
“Really? None of my business? If I was Landen, Marc, or Brady – you’d be dead by now.”
He shook his head. “They don’t have the courage to kill. Remember: Drake is still breathing – lucky for you.”
I raised him up further and pushed him so hard against the wall, I could see him struggling for breath.
“Who was that girl! Why could I not feel her?”
“Are you jealous?” he said through broken breaths. “Don’t you have enough boy problems without adding me to the list?”
“Jealous of you? Never!” I smirked, regretting that I even knew him. “Who was she?!” I yelled.
“A friend. Someone who’s giving me the information I need.”
“That’s not what she was giving you. I can feel you – or have you forgotten that?!”
“I don’t know what you think you saw or felt, but you’re wrong,” he argued, finally finding strength enough to push me back. I let him fall, exhausted from holding him in place.
“Explain,” I bellowed.
“She knows every player in this game. We have to meet in private; no one can know she’s talking to me.”
“You weren’t talking; those emotions don’t have words.”
“Do you recognize those emotions? Do your lovers make you feel that way?” he mocked.
“My lovers? What?! Not a word to use in the plural! And to answer your question: NO. My emotions have heart behind them – not selfish desire!”
He raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Well, that’s sad...maybe you should add me to your list.”
I didn’t have to even think about it; I pushed my hands forward and slammed him into the wall as hard as I could. He screamed in agony. My father stepped around the corner with the intent to help, but I held my hand up, telling him to stay; whatever pain Dane was in, he deserved it.
“I really do think you’re possessed – and the bad part is, they won’t listen to me; they’ll destroy you before I finish my sentence.”
“Willow, I’m not possessed. I didn’t do anything wrong. You may have felt an emotion, but you didn’t see an action. You managed to stop anything before it happened, so thank you.”
“Thank you?!” I said, pushing the weight of my energy against him and watching him squint in pain.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll be sure to return the favor if you ever get caught with Drake. I’ll fling you against a wall and make you come to your senses.”
“How dare you! I don’t have those emotions with him!”
“How do you know he doesn’t?” he asked coldly.
“Because I can see it in his eyes, you bastard,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Listen, I admit that that girl brings out emotions in me that are hard to control, hard to ignore - but I always do make it through, and she tells me what I need to know to help you.”
“Help me?!” I said, pushing against him.
“Yes, help you. I can tell you every person in this city that’s after you, every person that’s plotted to kill Drake.”
“I don’t want your help – not anymore. You’re sick, so sick that I can’t even look at you,” I seethed, letting him go.
As soon as he was free, he rushed to me.
“Stop!” he pleaded. “Just stop. Don’t be mad. I’m sorry; you’re the only one in this entire family that I trust right now.”
“I should be the last. Do you think I’m just gonna ignore this?!”
“Yes. Yes, I do because if you go back and tell them what you thought you saw, you’ll give everyone doubt about soul mates – everyone. Did you hear that? Do you need doubt right now?”
“I don’t need this – and you’ve given me doubt, doubt that everything falls into place and happens for a reason. Maybe Clarissa was just too eager to find her soul mate...maybe she just thought it was you because of Landen and me. I bet if I look hard enough, I’d find another couple that made a mistake like this.”
“We aren’t a mistake; we’re just in a bad spot. We’ll get over it. These people, the ones at these meetings – they’ve gotten into my head. I have to act like them, talk like them to fit in, and sometimes I fall too deeply into that role – I admit that. Honestly, Clarissa is safer at a distance. What you saw was an act, so if anyone followed her, they’d think we’re lovers.”
I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or not; I was too furious. “You fell too far into that role! I felt you, Dane; I felt those emotions from you – not her.” I shook my head and started to walk away.
He put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you trust me?” he whispered.
“Not right now,” I
mumbled, walking away from him.
He stepped in front of me. “Tell me to think of Clarissa,” he begged, holding my shoulders.
I pushed his hand off me “Do it,” I demanded.
At that moment, his emotion changed to devotion, bliss, gratitude, sorrow, and love.
I shook my head. “Good job – you have a memory,” I said bleakly, unimpressed by his display.
“Are you gonna tell Landen?”
“That’s who you care about me telling?”
“Drake?” he asked.
“Seriously, Dane?!”
“Those two are the ones I’m worried about. Clarissa will understand; she’s seen me with that girl, and she knows who she is and what I wanted out of talking to her. Landen...if he says the word, our family will disown me – disown her. Drake..he’d kill me if you asked – if you even hint to your approval.”
“If I asked Clarissa about you being with a girl in a dark alley, she’ll understand?!” I said in a disgusted tone.
“Yeah, she will. She told me to talk to her in the first place. She knows I struggle and that I haven’t given in – and I wouldn’t have tonight, I promise.” He tilted his head. “You see my truth, don’t you?”
I shook my head no, looking at him like he was insane. “I’m too mad.”
“Are you gonna tell them?” he asked again.
“I haven’t decided,” I seethed.
“Willow,” my father said, loud enough to get my attention.
I shook my head in disgust at Dane, then walked to the end of the alley where he was standing. When I reached him, he put his arm around me. “Are you alright?” he asked in a concerned tone.
“Yeah, is he?” I asked bleakly, stepping back out onto the sidewalk.
My dad looked over his shoulder at Dane, who wasn’t brave enough to follow me yet.
“Nope. You fractured four ribs,” my dad said quietly, with pride echoing in his emotion.
“Is that all?” I muttered, wishing I’d broken them all.
My dad let his hand rub against my back. “Not your day, is it?”
“Not my year,” I said, smiling slightly.
“Well, a new one is just around the corner,” he promised, letting his hand fall into mine.
“Are you gonna ask me what he did?” I asked, staring forward.
“I don’t have to ask,” he answered quietly.
“He doesn’t want me to tell Landen.”
“I bet not,” my father said, shaking his head.
“Should I?” I asked, looking down.
“Look up, Willow,” he said, squeezing my hand.
I did as he said and raised my head.
He smiled slightly but never answered me. We walked on in silence. I kept feeling those emotions; I swear, I didn’t know human beings could feel that way. It was like every blissful emotion between two people was shrouded in darkness. I would call it lust, but even that word seemed shallow in comparison to what I felt. The more I tried to forget them, the clearer they were in my memory. I knew Dane was right: if I said something to anyone, they’d kill him, or at the very least disown him. So, I decided to just not lie if I was asked; that was the only safe thing to do.
The front doors were still open at the palace, and almost every light was on. It felt like everyone was scattered. I tried to find Landen’s emotion. He was there, but I didn’t think he was in the study. I followed my dad up the stairs anyway. I figured it would be easier for someone to tell me where to look than to follow his emotion. I was exhausted; I’d never fought so long and hard with someone, and every part of my body hurt. I felt depleted.
Drake stepped out of the study door just as we topped the stairs, then waited for us to walk down the hall to him. My father reached his arm around me and squeezed me closer before letting go. He nodded politely at Drake, then walked past him into the study.
I locked gazes with Drake, and my heart started to race. I didn’t like this ‘looking up’ thing my father had taught me to do.
“Where’s Landen?” I asked quietly.
Drake tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, then stepped closer to me. “Breaking down the barricade to the looking glass,” he answered finally.
“He told you about that?” I asked, looking around, trying to notice if I felt a presence.
“Told me what?” he asked, reaching to let his hands rest on my hips.
I felt his addicting hum and sighed. “Nothing,” I mumbled, gently pushing his hands off my waist.
“Why are you avoiding me?” he asked quietly.
“I’m not; I just went on a walk,” I promised, breathing in.
Drake leaned against the wall and reached to let his fingers graze the bottom of my eye. “You look tired.”
“Thanks,” I said bleakly.
He tilted his head, holding my gaze.
“Sorry. Everyone keeps telling me that, and I’ve had a really, really bad day,” I explained, stepping closer, fearing that I was hurting him, making myself look ungrateful for all the risks he took to give me what I wanted.
“Did someone hurt you?” he asked, tightening his jaw. I swear, it was like anger intensified his perfect features, making him even more mesmerizing. The memory of the emotions I felt from Dane caused my heart to race as I looked into the addicting stare of Drake’s dark eyes. I blinked, breaking my daze, then shook my head.
“Would you tell me?” he asked quietly.
“No,” I answered, smilingly shyly.
“Why not?” he asked, tilting his head curiously.
“Because of your temper; I’ve seen it in action,” I answered, tilting my head and thinking of that horrible man that had tried to have his way with me when I was trapped inside of Evelyn.
He raised his eyebrows, and a ghostly grin came to the corners of his lips. “He deserved more than death.”
“Maybe so,” I said quietly, agreeing with him, feeling so grateful that he was there to protect me over and over again.
“Come here,” he whispered, reaching his hands for my shoulders. He let his hands slowly slide to my neck, holding my gaze. He wasn’t trying to kiss me or make a move; he was trying to take away the tension in my body - and it was working. I leaned my head down and let his fingertips move across my neck, adoring the sensation his skin always had. After a moment or two, I looked up at him.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling.
He kept his hands on my neck, moving his fingers in small circles. “You promise you’re not avoiding me, that you don’t feel strange after helping me?” he asked, tilting his head and smiling slightly.
“No. I’d do it again – and again,” I promised.
“I wish I could help you feel that way, take whatever this is away from you,” he whispered, looking all around me.
“When I get home, I’ll be fine.” I knew there, Landen would be able to replace whatever energy I’d wasted on Dane.
Drake knew what I was talking about and let his hands fall, then leaned his head to mine. “I envy him,” he whispered.
My stomach fell as I heard him repeat the word ‘envy.’ I remembered seeing Landen fight with that very emotion when he woke that morning. I didn’t like the idea of Landen channeling him, feeling Drake’s emotions; there was no telling how dangerous that was, what reaction Landen would have if he were forced to feel them over and over again.
I heard someone clear their throat, and I assumed it was Alamos because I didn’t feel anything; when I looked up, though, I saw Dane at the top of the stairs.
Confusion absorbed my expression as I slowly leaned away from Drake. “Why can’t I feel you?” I asked.
The moment I said that, I felt a jealousy come from him, like he’d somehow flipped a switch. “I don’t know. You looked distracted – do you need me to help you snap out of it?” he asked, glaring at Drake.
An impulse kicked in, and before I knew it - before I could stop myself - I slightly nodded my head in his direction and sent a blow of energy his way. It was
so strong, it flung him into the wall that was ten feet behind him. It was almost like it was too much to ask of my body. I started to get dizzy, and I felt Drake’s arms go around me. He raised my chin. “Willow, look at me...look at me,” he said firmly.
I focused on him, on his dark eyes, and took in a deep breath. I found balance, but I was still weak.
“Bad day, huh?” he said, grinning before he leaned down to kiss my forehead. He then pulled me to him.
I looked up and saw Dane on the floor, frozen. My father, Ashten, and Perodine were looking out the doorway, frozen in place; Drake had stopped time.
“Sit here. I’m gonna find Landen; you look like you’re gonna pass out.”
I tightened my arm around him. I knew he was wasting his time; Landen was already on his way here and getting closer by the second. I swear, he could feel me from a mile away when I was upset.
“He’s on his way,” I said quietly, finding it hard to speak and breathe at the same time.
Drake extended his arms and looked over me carefully. “What did he do to you?” he asked as I saw the anger amplify his intoxicating image.
I knew Dane was right: if I said one word, acted like I didn’t care, his life would be over - and I hadn’t decided if I believed him yet. I wanted to talk to Clarissa, and there was no telling how long that would take; she was furious at me. Knowing what I knew then, I could see where she was coming from. If she knew about this, what Dane was doing to get information to help me...well, I would blame me, too.
“Nothing to me,” I said quietly.
I looked past him and saw Landen running toward us.
What happened? he thought before he reached me.
I lost my temper, I thought, pleading with my eyes, asking him not to make me explain right then.
As he reached us, Drake let his arms fall from around me. Landen pulled me to him and stared into my eyes, trying to understand what I was feeling as his eyes glared between Drake and Dane.
“Where’s your energy? There’s nothing left; I don’t know how you’re still standing,” he said, raising my chin so he could look deeply into my eyes.
“Maybe we should go,” I mumbled, feeling vacant.
He looked over my head at Drake, then at Dane on the floor. “Can you hold this a second longer? Give me a chance to make her feel better?”
