by Jamie Magee
“See him?! Think again! I wanted to save those people!”
“The people that he’s saving. What am I, just an arm ornament?!”
“What has gotten into you?! You are everything! You found a way to work with him - and that makes you more of a man than he is. But now you’re acting just like him, like I’m some object!”
“You’re not an object!” he said as he stepped forward and aggressively pulled my hips against him. “You are my life.” His eyes rushed over me. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be the man August encouraged me to be. I’ve held on to his philosophies, his teachings, as long as I could - but I can’t anymore. I’m not gonna stand by and watch you destroy us.”
“How am I destroying us?” I said, pushing myself away from him.
“Dane,” he said through a locked jaw.
“What does he have to do with this, besides the fact that his actions have finally caused you to tell me how you really feel about all of this?”
“He’s poison. God help me, Drake was right: that evil bastard has been at your side from day one - and now not only has he broken Clarissa’s heart, he’s driven a stake between us. He’s gonna throw what’s going on between us and Drake in our face over and over until he builds doubt - which tells me he’s on the side of the devil.”
“Where is this coming from?! Dane is not evil; he’s possessed. Quit blaming this fight on him! You know what infuriates me more than anything? That I’m the last one that knows about this. Why did you talk to my dad about me? How many other people have you talked to about these emotions we push down? Does Brady know? What about Marc? Who else knows that we can’t handle any of this?!”
He shook his head from side to side and tried his best to gain control of his rage, but the peaceful Landen that found me in Montana no longer existed; this man, one that had the heart of a warrior, the soul of a king, and a fearless mind was in place. “Your dad basically begged me to tell him what was wrong, but I didn’t tell him everything. I told him it was impossible for you to hold everything in and stay strong. No one else knows anything; I carry this burden on my own.”
“So I’m a burden?!”
“Are you trying to distract me from the fact that Dane is out of line? That he doesn’t belong here or in Esterious? He needs to go home NOW.”
“He’s not going home – like you could make him; he can see in the string. This is just a fight -”
“It’s not a fight, Willow! Everything, everything Drake said about him is coming true. He warned you, he warned me, and I refuse to let him destroy us.”
“Your sister has a broken heart. That’s what you should worry about – not us - because I’m not worried.”
His blue eyes raged with fury. “Really?! Then stop pushing what I know you feel for Drake down!”
“Fine!” I yelled.
“Fine,” he said as a sarcastic smirk came to the corners of his lips.
I glared back at him.“You’ve been looking for a reason to push Dane out of my life since the day we moved that wall, and I’m not gonna let you. Who will be next? What if my dad said something that made me mad tomorrow – would you tell him to go back to Infante? Then who would be next?!”
“Do you hear yourself? Really, Willow. No one else has dark history. Beyond that, did you feel those emotions he had for that girl? The betrayal alone should infuriate you. Are you satisfied that you hurt him? Is he forgiven now?!”
“No! He is not forgiven! I just watched your sister cry her last tear. I heard her say he wasn’t her soul mate – that he never was. She was more afraid of telling you, Brady, and Ashten than she was to lose him – how sick is that?”
“I’m not mad at her. She was too hasty, and now look what we’ve managed to do: let a traitor into our family.”
“Traitor?! Did you hear what he said about the meetings, about finding out who all the players are? It’s our fault this happened, not his.”
“This isn’t our fault. It’s just too weird that he was always at your side.”
“How is it weird? He’s my best friend!”
“No, Olivia is. She’s the one that’s supposed to protect you. I wonder what damage he could have done if she wasn’t there.”
I let out a frustrated grunt. “Am I talking to Drake or Landen – because I can’t tell anymore?!”
He started to say something, but instead he turned and walked briskly to the door. I stood in shock, unable to even think the thought that would have stopped him from leaving. I couldn’t breathe...how could I do that? Say something that cruel?
I ran toward the door, willing to chase him across the universe. As I flung it open, he was running up the stairs toward me. He didn’t say a word; his strong arms picked me up as his hungry lips found mine, and he kicked the door closed behind him. A jolt of energy exploded between us as I wrapped my body around his and we fell to the floor. My eager hands struggled to get as close to him as possible, to take away all that I’d said, all that I’d done. My body burned with passion and desire as I felt those emotions inside of him.
With pounding hearts, eager breaths, and a passionate embrace, we found our forgiveness, our place in each other’s soul. It didn’t matter how many times our love was tested; moments like this, feeling every part of him next to me, told me that it was worth it. He was life - my life, my air. I dared evil to come between us because each time it made that attempt, our passion in moments like this intensified. We were already at the point of ecstasy; they haven’t invented a word yet to describe a point beyond this.
I doubted we’d overcome the tension we’d feel in the presence of Drake, but at least now everything was on the table. We let ourselves be vulnerable, open wounds that were sealed too carelessly.
Later that night as we lie in our bed, Landen was determined for me to fall asleep first, to dream. As I fought against the tingle of his fingertips tracing my eyes, I closed them, hoping to fool him, make him think I was asleep so I could chase him into his dreams.
As I lay there, I thought about how horrible I felt for Olivia, how I regretted not listening. I told myself that she’d forgive me, that she wanted me to lose my temper – to let some of my anger out. I just regretted walking away.
A flash of light came into view; it was almost blinding. Once it passed, I found myself standing in the field. Landen was at my side, and Olivia was passing though an opening of the string; this was my second chance. I smiled widely at her, but she kept her placid expression and her arms behind her back. I walked closer, leaving Landen behind me.
“Did you have fun in Franklin?” I asked quietly.
Her expression and emotion shifted to confusion.
“Do you want to know why I went?” she asked, looking carefully over me, judging my mood.
“A dream?” I said, trying to smile, telling her I was open to talk about it without judgment.
She nodded. “I dreamed about my...I dreamed about mom,” she said, holding in tears.
I nodded. “I’m sure she had wise words for you.”
Olivia looked over her shoulder at Chrispin, who seemed as bewildered as she was. He nodded once, telling her to show me what she did. The others started to move closer to us.
Olivia moved her arms in front of her and removed her bandage to show me the tattoo that mirrored mine.
“Same artist?” I asked causally.
She nodded. “I had to do this. She told me to. Something is gonna happen. You’re gonna lose control, and this mark will let you know I’m real.”
I sighed. “It’s hard for me to see that I could ever hurt you, but I trust your mother. I believe her. Can I ask you one favor?”
Her confusion was out of control. She was struggling to understand why I wasn’t mad, trying to find a way to make me that way, to let my anger out in the safety of Chara. She nodded.
“Will you keep it covered in Esterious? There are people looking for me, and I don’t want them to mistake you for me.”
“I can protect myself,�
�� she said, still looking for a way to argue with me.
“I know you can,” I whispered.
At that moment, butterflies seemed come from nowhere and surround me. I closed my eyes, feeling the wind of their wings. I opened them again when the wind was gone and found myself in my bed. Landen was near panic.
I sat up and smiled at him. “Do you remember me fighting with Olivia?” I asked.
“Willow, you were gone for almost a minute; I didn’t know what to do,” he stressed, not answering me.
I knew what played out had lasted longer than that. “Sorry,” I said, still smiling. I reached to pull him closer to me. “Do you remember?”
His blue eyes moved across my face. “She wanted you to fight, but you didn’t – not this time,” he said, letting out a breath as his eyes scorned me for leaving him again.
“I really hoped that happened. I feel so bad. Do you know why she got the tattoo?” I asked.
He nodded. “August told me. That’s why I told you that you had to learn to control your temper.”
Landen relaxed and pulled me closer, holding me so tight that it was hard to breathe; it was like he thought I’d vanish again.
“Did you tell him about me changing the fight with Clarissa?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, slightly loosening his arms. “He thinks the rings are teaching you, but he was worried about how fast it came and went again. You have to be careful, Willow; I’m scared that if you start to worry about something that happened long ago, it could take you there - and everything would change. August doesn’t understand how you managed to moved back over six hours. He said that he thought at the most you could move one or two minutes at first.”
“I don’t care. I managed to fix what I did wrong today,” I said, smiling slightly as I moved my hands across his bare chest. “At least I hope I did,” I mumbled, remembering that out of all the fights I’d had that day, the one with him hurt the most.
He reached his hand for mine, then tenderly kissed my temple. “It’s healthy to fight, or so I’m told,” he murmured as he grinned, revealing the dimples I loved so much.
I was sure then that my father had said his “peace” to Landen, too. “Just be careful. I don’t like how it takes you away. I don’t understand how you can just vanish.”
“I come back,” I whispered, reaching to trace his eyes.
“Maybe we should stop this, put our rings on again.”
“I’ll be careful. I won’t think about everything that I want to change; just the things that matter. I promise.”
He heard the truth in my words and smiled slightly. Sleep for me, he thought.
I closed my eyes and tried to drift, but I couldn’t; my thoughts were out of control. Landen rubbed his hand across my back, sending a numbing calm through me. I opened my eyes and found myself next to my body. I was almost sure that I was still awake, but the thought was convincing enough to fool Landen.
Moments passed, then he appeared at my side. I moved over and made room for him.
You’re not asleep, he thought.
How are you so sure? I asked.
You’re here, not at our place. I looked for you there.
I tried. I really did. I’ll fall asleep when I’m tired. If I’m not sleeping, then that must mean I’m not tired.
Willow.
I raised my hand and let my fingertips fall into his chest, feeling the hum of his soul. I felt his energy burst through me and knew he was distracted enough not to worry about me for the moment.
An hour after the sun rose, I moved back into my body and laid there, feeling exhaustion come over me. I sat up slowly, carefully watching Landen’s sleeping body, hoping against all hope that since we’d fought about what’s been tormenting his thoughts that he wouldn’t wake in terror.
That hope was lost when I watched every muscle in his body tense. I moved to the edge of the bed so that when we finally woke, I’d be the first thing he saw. A second later, he abruptly rose straight up. When his eyes flew open, fear shot through me. They weren’t blue; they were dark as night and held the pull that Drake’s always did. Before I could say a word, they shifted to blue, the color that belonged to my soul mate.
He reached for my arms and squeezed them, then he moved his legs to the side of the bed and leaned forward, trying to catch his breath.
“Landen,” I said in a timid voice.
He glanced at his side. “I’m fine.”
“Landen...your eyes were dark when you woke up.”
He hesitated, then glanced at me. “It’s dim in here,” he said, rising to open the door and let the sun spill into the room.
“I know what I saw,” I said, swallowing nervously. “You healed him yesterday. Dad said you give and you receive...he had to give a part of himself back to you.”
He reached for the top of the door frame as he looked over his shoulder at me. “It’s nothing. Energy is constantly moving. If a part of him is inside of me, then I just have to work it out.” He faced forward and began to pull himself up over and over. I lost count of the number of pull ups he did. I was mesmerized by how the muscles in his perfectly sculpted back were flexing, as well as the glistening of his skin. I told myself he was right: the more he moved, the more his energy shifted. Soon, the negative emotions that had caused his energy to dim to a shade of ash vanished, and the pure glow of his soul became brighter.
Finally, he let his arms rest, then slowly turned to catch my stare. “See? I’m fine,” he said breathlessly.
I nodded, even though I didn’t agree.
He walked slowly to me and knelt down. “You give to him, I heal him, it comes right back to me. I’m fine. We’re alive and well. No harm.”
Between his words, I felt him apologize for yelling at me, for giving Drake my energy, for being the first one to cross that line.
“I still regret it.”
“Don’t. Just think of all those people we’ve saved. That’s what I do.”
I nodded. He leaned in and stole a gentle kiss, sending a tingle down my spine. “I’m gonna take a shower. Try and sleep; it’s still early.”
I looked at him like he was insane. My pounding heart and racing thoughts weren’t going to allow any rest for me, but I laid down anyway, determined to do anything to take the concern I felt inside of him away.
I closed my eyes as I let what just happened play over and over in my mind. I was starting to think that we’d accepted Landen’s insight of healing too easily. For every action, there’s always a reaction - and I was terrified that Landen’s quick temper, his uncalled for jealously, was one of many results of his healing.
I did finally drift to sleep, but I didn’t dream - at least I didn’t think I did. When I heard my mother call my name, my eyes flew open.
“She’s not here yet,” Landen whispered. I assumed I’d just felt my mother’s intent to come and see me. As I focused my eyes, I found him at the foot of the bed; he’d already showered and dressed for the day. I gauged his emotion, his aura; nothing seemed off about him - nothing except my gut, which was telling me that he was changing before my eyes.
He grinned impishly and mouthed the word ‘Fine’, then nodded toward the bathroom.
I stretched and pulled myself awake before crawling out of the bed to take a shower. After I dried my hair, I went to look for something to wear. The weather was mild in Chara, but in Esterious the winter air was brisk, and I didn’t own any winter clothes. When I opened the bathroom door, I found my mother throwing the last pillows on my made bed.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said quietly.
She turned and smiled at me, but I could feel the worry coming from her.
“I’m fine; promise,” I said, holding my towel tightly against me.
“I know,” she said, forcing a smile. “Listen, I brought you some clothes – warm ones.”
“You read my mind. I was just worrying about that,” I said as I dared to smile.
“I put several jeans an
d sweaters in your closet. Felicity made a few things, and I had your father go to Infante and buy a few others.”
“When?” I asked, wondering if he’d seen Olivia there.
“Last night. It didn’t take him long. I told him exactly where to go and what to buy,” she said, grinning.
I laughed under my breath, imagining that he’d hated every minute of it; the only person on this earth that despised shopping more than me was my father. I went to the closet and closed the door slightly so I could get dressed. I found the dark blue jeans she mentioned and a long sleeve black T-shirt. I pulled my necklace out so I could see it; I loved the way the black looked against the silver sun. I grabbed a pair of socks and went back into my room. My mother looked me over and smiled. “Looks like the old Willow,” she said quietly.
I looked down and smiled as I pushed my hands into the tight pockets, feeling more comfortable than I had in a while.
“He bought you boots and a coat, too. The boots are over there; the coat is downstairs,” she said, nodding to the box on my dresser.
I raised my eyebrows and smiled slightly, then went to grab my new boots. They were black and tall and felt like leather. I pulled them out and went to sit beside my mom on the bed, then slid them on over my jeans and stood to show her.
“You look like you’re ready to take on the world,” she said, smiling widely.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said, feeling confident.
As she went to my closet and pulled out a belt for me, I shook my head; she’d always had a pet peeve about completing outfits. I took the black belt with the silver buckle and pulled it through the loops of my jeans. As I fastened the buckle, I looked up at her. “Did you and Dad really get a babysitter so you could go and fight?” I asked, trying to hide a smile.
“At least once a month,” she said, looking me over to make sure she was satisfied that I was dressed warmly enough.
“Why, though? I mean, I really thought it was bad for couples to fight...now it seems normal.”
“Seeing your parents fight can be scary for any child. I could only imagine the impact it would have had on you.”
