Karim lay sleepless in his bed, arms folded under his head, staring at the dark ceiling.
He was still too angry to sleep.
Tomorrow loomed as a day filled with unpleasantries.
He had to talk with Suki Donnelly. The thought was distasteful. He’d disliked the woman on sight but he’d have to see if she was going to grant him custody of Ethan without a fight. She was the baby’s mother, after all. Rachel, who was only his aunt, had flat-out refused.
He could not imagine the baby’s mother would do any less.
If she did, he would sue for custody. And win. But it would be simpler if she agreed that letting him become Ethan’s guardian would be the best thing for the child.
He’d also have to arrange for a nanny, since Roberta’s foolish loyalty was surely to Rachel.
And he’d have to confront his father.
He knew exactly what the older man had done. The King had boasted of it.
“You gave me Rachel Donnelly’s name. I arranged to have her investigated. It took very little time to find out that there was no record of her having given birth to a child—that there was, instead, a birth certificate issued to a Suki Donnelly. Locating her was even easier. She had no reason to hide. My people found her in Los Angeles in less than a day.” His father’s expression had hardened. “If you’d thought with your brain instead of your—”
“Watch what you say to me,” Karim had growled.
But it was good that these things had been done. Otherwise he’d still be with Rachel, planning a life with her …
Karim pushed back the blankets, rose from his bed, pulled on a pair of jeans and paced from room to room in his suite.
It was a very large suite. Still, he felt trapped. Caged, like a captured wild beast.
How could he have made such a mess of things?
He never did anything before thinking it through to its logical conclusion. That was the code he demanded of himself. He never gave in to selfish wishes, or spoke without weighing every word.
Then he’d met Rachel.
He had wanted her, and he had taken her.
Not so terrible, really.
Sex was sex. You wanted a woman, she wanted you—there was no reason to hesitate.
It was what had come next that had been wrong.
When he’d felt himself falling in love with her he should not have let it happen.
Because it was true. He had fallen in love with her and it had been a terrible mistake.
He should have thought of the consequences, considered where undisciplined emotion might take him, remembered that he was a prince, not a man …
“Oh, God,” he whispered as he sank into a chair and buried his face in his hands.
Bad enough he’d fallen in love with her, but he still loved her. He would never admit it to anyone but it was true.
He loved her.
He’d get over it, of course, but when? How long would it take before he stopped feeling empty without her beside him? How long would the pain of her deceit last?
This was impossible.
How could he think clearly? He had to get some sleep. Or do something useful.
Ethan.
How was the baby doing? The nanny was with him, but nothing else in the child’s world was familiar. New surroundings, new faces.
No Rachel.
So what? His mother—his real mother—had him now. Surely there was something intrinsic in the bond between an infant and its mother …
Karim sprang from the chair, grabbed a shirt and left his rooms.
The palace corridors were long. It was a brisk few minutes’ walk to the nursery where he and Rami and generations of royal children had been raised. When he reached it, he paused.
Then he knocked on the door.
Rachel’s sister opened the door as quickly as if she’d been expecting him.
“Prince Karim,” she purred. “How nice of you to pay me a visit.”
She was wearing something long and pink and voluminous. Something that was also sheer enough so he could see glimpses of her body as she stepped back.
He thought of the first time he’d seen Rachel. She’d been wearing that foolish costume, her hair messy, her shoes kicked off. There’d been nothing sexy about her, but her beauty had stolen his breath.
And that first glimpse he’d had of her naked … how he’d deliberately parted the bath sheet she’d been wrapped in, her body lush and damp, her face scrubbed clean …
“Come in, Your Highness,” Suki said. She smiled. “I’ve been hoping you’d come by.”
Karim stayed in the doorway and cleared his throat.
“How is Ethan?”
“Huh?”
“Your son. How is he?”
“Oh. Oh, he’s okay. Don’t you want to come in and stay for a while?”
“I’ve told the kitchen staff to be sure his usual formula is available, as well as a supply of strained fruits and vegetables, but if you need anything else for him—”
“That girl—Rebecca, Roberta, whatever her name is—she’s taking care of all that.” Another smile, this time accompanied by a flutter of lashes. “This is really something. The palace, these rooms …” She fluttered her lashes again. “You.”
“It must have been difficult for you, being away from Ethan for such a long time.”
“Oh, sure. And there’s a stocked bar here. I didn’t know you people drank wine. I opened a bottle—there’s some left. How about I pour us a drink? I don’t know about you, but I could sure do with something relaxing after today.”
“I don’t want anything to drink.”
“Uh … okay. You could still come in for a while and—”
“You said you sent Rachel money?”
“Right.”
“Did you never phone her? To see how Ethan was?”
“Yes,” she said quickly. Too quickly. “Sure I did.”
“When?” He could hear the sudden hardness in his voice. “She and I were together for three weeks. Rachel has a cell phone but you never called her once during that time.”
“Well, she wanted it that way.”
“Rachel did?”
“Yeah. I, uh, I don’t want to make her look bad—”
“She didn’t want to hear from you?”
“See, she told me how she was doing me this big favor—telling me she didn’t have time for taking care of the kid, all it was gonna involve, you know—and finally she said, ‘Look, I know you’ll be busy job-hunting, so if you send money I’ll take care of the kid. Just don’t drive me nuts checking up on me all the time.’ You know?”
“The kid?” Karim said tonelessly.
“Right. Ethan.”
Suki smiled. Licked her lips. The action was deliberate and diversionary; he knew he was supposed to notice it and he did—and thought how repellent her wet mouth looked, and how delicious Rachel’s mouth looked when it was wet with his kisses.
“You positive you don’t want to come in, Your Majesty?”
Karim didn’t consider correcting her. “Majesty” wasn’t an applicable title, but what difference would that make in what came next?
It was late, and he knew what he had to do if he was going to get any sleep at all.
He smiled. “On second thought …”
And he stepped inside the room, reached behind him, and closed the door.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVENTUALLY weariness won out and Rachel fell into a troubled sleep.
She woke abruptly, alone in a strange room, with a ceiling fan turning high overhead, rain pounding against the arched windows.
Rain in the desert.
It seemed appropriate.
She sat up and pushed her hair from her face. She’d slept in a T-shirt and panties—not naked as she’d slept in Karim’s arms …
She wasn’t going to think about him. She’d cried over him last night but he was nothing to her now, just as she was nothing to him.
Her suitcase was on a l
ow ebony bench. She opened it, her movements brisk, her head telling her that if she slowed down that brave thought of a moment ago would give way to despair.
Quickly, she dug out a bra and panties, a change of clothes. Five minutes in the bathroom—a fast shower, teeth brushed, wet hair drawn back in a low, no-nonsense ponytail—and she was dressed and ready.
The only thing she had to do, absolutely would do, was to see Ethan—no matter the objections she was sure Suki and Karim would make.
After that Karim’s pilot would fly her home—and where, exactly, was that?
Home, people said, was where the heart was. Ethan was the reason Las Vegas had been home. Karim was what had made New York her safe haven.
Now what?
Rachel sank down on the edge of the bed.
This was foolish.
She was accustomed to being alone. She had been alone before Ethan, before Karim. So what if she was alone again?
She’d be fine.
Needing others was always a mistake. Surely life had taught her that.
If she’d just kept her emotional distance from the baby, if she hadn’t let a man steal her heart …
No.
He hadn’t stolen her heart. She’d served it up to him on a platter.
“Stop it,” she whispered.
It was a waste of time to keep going over and over all this. The idea was to move on. She had to make plans, decide what town, what city she’d go to, then find a place to live, a job—
Someone knocked at the door.
It was probably one of the palace servants, come to tell her the plane was ready. Well, the pilot would just have to wait. She was not leaving here until she saw her baby …
The knock at the door came again.
Rachel ran her hands over her eyes and got to her feet. “I’m coming,” she called as she hurried to the door, pulled it open …
Karim.
The sight of him, dressed as casually as she was, in a T-shirt and jeans, his jaw bristling with early-morning stubble, sent a wave of longing straight through her.
He still looked like the man she’d fallen in love with, but he wasn’t.
She had to remember that.
“Good,” she said coolly. “I thought I was going to have to waste time searching for you.”
“May I come in?”
“I don’t see any reason for it. What I have to say will only take a minute.” She paused, told herself it was important to sound determined. “I want to see Ethan.”
“He’s asleep.”
“I want to see him, Karim, and I’m not going to take no for an answer.”
A wave of despair shot through him.
Despite everything, he knew he would miss Rachel. In his bed, yes. But this—this might be what he would miss the most. Her spirit. Her courage. Her determination.
Her eyes were red, as if she’d been weeping; she’d pulled her T on backwards—he could see the tip of the label peeking out of the neckline—so perhaps she wasn’t quite as contained as she sounded.
He hoped so.
A woman who lied to a man, who let him think she was what she was not, should have at least some regrets …
His heart hardened.
And what kind of fool was he, to think he would miss anything about her?
As for regrets … Of course she had them. She’d lost a big ticket item when she lost him.
“Did you hear me? I want to see—”
“I heard you. The answer is no.”
Rachel put her hands on her hips.
“I’m not leaving until I’ve seen him!”
Karim laughed. It was not a pleasant sound.
“You’ll leave when I say—and that’s twenty minutes from now.”
“I demand—”
“Demand?” he said, his tone silken. “You’re not in the position to ‘demand’ anything.”
“Karim. If you ever—if you ever had any—any feelings for me—”
She cried out as he clasped her by the elbows and lifted her to her toes.
“Don’t you speak to me about feelings,” he growled. “You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“I loved you.” The words she’d promised herself she would never speak again tumbled from her lips. “I loved you so much—”
“I’m sick of your lies!”
“It isn’t a lie. I loved you. I loved Ethan—”
“Yes,” he said, letting go of her. “I believe that.”
For a second Rachel’s heart soared—but it didn’t last.
“I believe that you do love Ethan, which is why I’ve come to talk to you.” He paused. “He is going to need a nanny.”
“Roberta will—”
“She won’t. She’ll stay the week but she’s enrolled for summer classes in New York.”
“Well, Suki will have to manage alone.”
Karim’s mouth twisted.
“Your sister and I had a talk last night. She’s already gone.”
“Suki? But—”
“Being given the choice between raising her son and granting me custody turned out to be no choice at all.”
“You mean she’s letting you keep Ethan?”
“She agreed to sign away her rights and let me adopt him.”
Rachel stared at him. “Why would she agree to that?” Her eyes widened. “You paid her off.”
He had. That was why he’d agreed to step into the spider’s parlor. Suki had expected sex. What she’d gotten was a check for seven figures, an iron-clad document that bound her to silence about Rami, the baby, and anything pertaining to the matter, and a warning never to come anywhere near Ethan again. But he wasn’t going to talk about that.
“Let’s just say we reached a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“And—and the rest? Did she tell you that she’d lied about me?”
“We didn’t discuss you, only Ethan.”
Rachel nodded. She could feel the burn of tears behind her eyes. Why would they have talked about her when Karim had believed Suki’s lies without hesitation?
“And?”
“And what?”
“And what are you doing here?”
“I thought you would want to know that I will raise Ethan. I assumed that would be important to you—that you’d be happy to know he will be safe.”
Tears rose in Rachel’s eyes.
“Thank you. That was—that was kind of you. To tell me, I mean.”
Karim hesitated.
“You’ve done a fine job with him,” he said softly.
She nodded. “I tried.”
“I—I want you to know that I love him.”
And me? she almost said. Can’t you love me?
But he couldn’t. She knew that.
He was a man to whom honor was everything, and by lying to him she had dishonored him.
“I know you do,” she said. “And that’s good.” Her voice thickened. “Because he’s going to need you, you know? He’s only a baby, but—but this is going to be a hard transition for him.”
Karim nodded. “I’ll do everything I can to make it easier.” He hesitated. “I regret the—the suggestion I made last night.”
Rachel lifted her chin. “Is that an apology?”
“No. It’s—it’s …” He sighed. God, she was tough. “Yes. It is. But the fact remains, Ethan will need a nanny. I can find one, of course, but he cares for you, and you for him.” Her eyes snapped and he held up his hand. “No. I’m not suggesting … I’m simply saying that if you wanted to be his nanny—only that, nothing more—” Dammit, this was not going well. “You’d have your own apartment in the palace, a significant salary and—”
“You mean, I would be your servant.”
“I suppose that is one way to see it,” he said stiffly.
“And,” she said, her voice trembling, “how long would this arrangement last?”
“Until he is five, perhaps, or six. Until he no longer needs you.”
Until
he no longer needs you …
Rachel wanted to slap the Sheikh she’d been fool enough to love. That he could even think she’d accept being a temporary part of her baby’s life told her everything she needed to know.
“Only a man with no heart would make such an offer,” she said quietly. “And I pity you, Karim, for being such a man.”
She brushed past him, half expecting him to come after her and stop her. But he didn’t, and after a few minutes she found a servant and demanded to be taken to Ethan’s room.
The servant said that was not possible. Rachel assured him it damned well was, and finally Karim strode toward them, barked out a command, and the servant bowed, then led her to the room where the baby was, as Karim had said, fast asleep.
She stood over his crib, wept silently, whispered to him of how she loved him, how she knew he would grow up to be big and smart and strong, promised him that she would fight to get him back.
And then, before she could collapse with grief, she swung away from the child who held her heart in his tiny hands and ran through the palace, down what were surely a thousand steps, and out the front door into the rain.
A car was waiting.
The driver took her to the palace airport. Somehow she held herself together until she was on the plane and in a seat.
“Please fasten your seat belt,” the still-polite flight attendant said. “We’ll be taking off immediately.”
Rachel nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak.
The jet’s engines started up.
“We have direct clearance to New York, Ms. Donnelly,” a tinny voice said from a speaker.
The attendant made her way up the aisle and vanished into the cockpit.
The jet began rolling along the taxiway.
I am not going to cry, Rachel thought, as she stared blindly out the window at the rain, I am not …
Sobs burst from her throat.
She leaned her forehead against the glass, let her tears spill down it.
The sky was weeping and so was she.
The plane moved faster and faster. Another few yards and it would reach the runway; the engines would race as it built up speed.
Then it would leap into the sky and all of this would be over.
Suddenly the pitch of the engines changed from a thunderous roar to a whine.
The plane began to slow.
Sheikh Without a Heart Page 15
