12
It ’s Not Nice to Kill the King
Occasionally, in matters of death, royalty actually had the last laugh. Such was the case with Oliver Cromwell, the feisty parliamentarian who took over the government after the English Civil War and the execution of King Charles I in 1649. Cromwell ruled Britain as Lord Protector until he died in 1658, and was buried like royalty in Westminster Abbey. Shortly thereafter, the executed king’s son, Charles II, was restored to the throne. Needless to say, he did not appreciate how his beheaded father had been treated by Cromwell, and soon got his revenge.
The Lord Protector’s remains were disinterred from the Abbey and dragged through the streets of London. They were then taken to Tyburn, the execution place of common criminals, and hung all day. After the corpse was cut down, the head was lopped off and paraded on a stick, while the body was tossed in a pit. Cromwell’s head finally was impaled on a spike atop Westminster Hall, where it remained for twenty-five years until a storm blew it down. It was not until 1960, after passing from owner to owner, that the rotted head was buried at Cromwell’s alma mater, Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge.
As a final insult to the puritanical regicide, the British monarchy Cromwell so eagerly set out to destroy continues to thrive as Queen Elizabeth II sits firmly upon her throne.
APPENDIX I
British Monarchs (1066-Present)
The Normans
William I (The Conqueror)
Born 1027
Ascended the throne 1066
Reigned 21 years
Married Matilda of Flanders
Died 1087, aged 60
Pages: 127, 261-262
William II (“Rufus”)
Born 1056
Ascended the throne 1087
Reigned 13 years
Son of William the Conqueror
Never married
Died (murdered?) 1100, aged 44
Pages 20, 127
Henry I
Born 1069
Ascended the throne 1100
Reigned 35 years
Brother of William II
Married (1) Matilda of Scotland (2) Adela of Couvain
Died 1135, aged 66
Page: 127
Stephen
Born c. 1097
Ascended the throne 1135
Reigned 19 years
Nephew of Henry I
Married Matilda of Boulogne
Died 1154, aged about 57
Page: 127
The Angevins
Henry II
Born 1133
Ascended the throne 1154
Reigned 35 years
Grandson of Henry I
Married Eleanor of Aquitaine
Died 1189, aged 56
Pages: 127-128, 173-174
Richard I (“ The Lion Heart ”)
Born 1157
Ascended the throne 1189
Reigned 10 years (killed in battle)
Son of Henry II
Married Berengaria of Navarre
Died 1199, aged 42
Pages: 20, 128
John
Born 1167
Ascended the throne 1199
Reigned 17 years
Brother of Richard I
Married (1) Isabel of Gloucester (2) Isabella of Angouleme
Died 1216, aged 48
Pages: 128, 233-234
Henry III
Born 1207
Ascended the throne 1216
Reigned 56 years
Son of King John
Married Eleanor of Provence
Died 1272, aged 65
Edward I
Born 1239
Ascended the throne 1272
Reigned 35 years
Son of Henry III
Married (1) Eleanor of Castile (2) Margaret of France
Died 1307, aged 68
Page: 263
Edward II
Born 1284
Ascended the throne 1307
Reigned 20 years (deposed and murdered)
Son of Edward I
Married Isabella of France
Died 1327, aged 43
Pages: 20, 129, 263-264
Edward III
Born 1312
Ascended the throne 1327
Reigned 50 years
Son of Edward II
Married Philippa of Hainault
Died 1377, aged 65
Pages: 129-131, 264
Richard II
Born 1367
Ascended the throne 1377
Reigned 22 years (deposed and murdered)
Grandson of Edward III
Married (1) Anne of Bohemia (2) Isabella of France
Died 1400, aged 33
Page: 130
House of Lancaster
Henry IV
Born 1367
Ascended the throne 1399 (usurper)
Reigned 14 years
Cousin of Richard II
Married (1) Mary Bohun (2) Joan of Brittany
Died 1413, aged 46
Pages: 130, 133
Henry V
Born 1387
Ascended the throne 1413
Reigned 9 years
Son of Henry IV
Married Catherine of Valois
Died 1422, aged 35
Pages: 130, 133
Henry VI
Born 1421
Reigned 1422-1461 and 1470-1471
Reigned a total of 40 years (deposed and murdered)
Son of Henry V
Married Margaret of Anjou
Died 1471, aged 50
Pages: 130-137
House of York
Edward IV
Born 1442
Reigned 1461-1470 and 1471-1483
Reigned a total of 21 years
Cousin of Henry VI
Married Elizabeth Woodville
Died 1483, aged 41
Pages: 16-17, 133-137
Edward V
Born 1470
Ascended the throne 1483
Reigned two months (deposed and later murdered)
Son of Edward IV
Never married
Died 1483, aged 13
Page: 137
Richard III
Born 1452
Ascended the throne 1483
Reigned 2 years (killed in battle)
Brother of Edward IV; uncle of Edward V
Married Anne Neville
Died 1485, aged 33
Pages: 137-138
House of Tudor
Henry VII
Born 1457
Ascended the throne 1485
Reigned 24 years
Remote Lancastrian lineage
Married Elizabeth of York (Edward IV’s daughter)
Died 1509, aged 52
Pages: 59-60, 138
Henry VIII
Born 1491
Ascended the throne 1509
Reigned 38 years
Son of Henry VII
Married (1) Katherine of Aragon (2) Anne Boleyn (3) Jane Seymour
(4) Anne of Cleves (5) Catherine Howard (6) Katherine Parr
Died 1547, aged 56
Pages: 17, 31, 59-80, 81, 83, 101-107, 108, 109, 138-139, 140-142, 265
Edward VI
Born 1537
Ascended the throne 1547
Reigned 6 years
Son of Henry VIII and Jane Seymour
Never married
Died 1553, aged 16
Pages: 31, 72, 107, 109, 140-141
Mary I (“ Bloody Mary”)
Born 1516
Ascended the throne 1553
Reigned 5 years
Daughter of Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon
Married Philip II of Spain
Died 1558, aged 42
Pages: 18, 31, 60, 66, 72, 101-111, 140-147
Elizabeth I (“ The Virgin Queen”)
Born 1533
Ascended the throne 1558
Reigned 44 years
Dau
ghter of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
Never married
Died 1603, aged 70
Pages: 17-19, 29-33, 68, 83, 85, 103-104, 109, 140-146, 267
House of Stuart
James I (VI of Scotland )
Born 1566
Ascended the throne 1603
Reigned 22 years
Son of Mary Queen of Scots (cousin of Elizabeth I)
Married Anne of Denmark
Died 1625, aged 59
Pages: 19-20, 84
Charles I
Born 1600
Ascended the throne 1625
Reigned 24 years (deposed and executed)
Son of James I
Married Henrietta Maria of France
Died 1649, aged 48
Page: 285
Commonwealth (No Monarchy) 1649-1660
Charles II
Born 1630
Ascended the throne 1660
Reigned 25 years
Son of Charles I
Married Catherine of Braganza
Died 1685, aged 55
Pages: 20, 270, 271, 285
James II
Born 1633
Ascended the throne 1685
Reigned 3 years (deposed)
Brother of Charles II
Married (1) Anne Hyde (2) Mary of Modena
Died (in exile) 1701, aged 68
Pages: 20, 147-150, 271
William III and Mary II (comonarchy)
William: Born 1650
Ascended the throne 1689
Reigned 13 years
Nephew of James II
Died 1702, aged 52 years
Pages: 20, 147-148, 150
Mary: Born 1662
Ascended the throne 1689
Reigned 5 years
Daughter of James II
Married William III
Died 1694, aged 32
Pages: 20-21, 147-150
Anne
Born 1665
Ascended the throne 1702
Reigned 12 years
Sister of Mary II; second daughter of James II
Married Prince George of Denmark
Died 1714, aged 49
Pages: 21, 147-150
House of Hanover
George I
Born 1660
Ascended the throne 1714
Reigned 13 years
Great-grandson of James I
Married Princess Sophia of Zelle
Died 1727, aged 67
Pages: 21-22, 151-152
George II
Born 1683
Ascended the throne 1727
Reigned 33 years
Son of George I
Married Caroline of Anspach
Died 1760, aged 76
Pages: 22-23, 114, 152-154, 274
George III
Born 1738
Ascended the throne 1760
Reigned 59 years
Grandson of George II
Married Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz
Died 1820, aged 81
Pages: 23, 43, 95-97, 154-155, 186-190
George IV
Born 1762
Ascended the throne 1820
Reigned 9 years
Son of George III
Married (1) Mrs. Maria Fitzherbert (invalidated) (2) Caroline of
Brunswick
Died 1830, aged 67
Pages: 23, 41-45, 94-97, 154-155, 187
William IV
Born 1765
Ascended the throne 1830
Reigned 6 years
Son of George III; brother of George IV
Married Adelaide of Saxe-Coburg
Died 1837, aged 71
Pages: 23-24, 156-157
Victoria
Born 1819
Ascended the throne 1837
Reigned 63 years (longest in British history)
Niece of George IV and William IV
Married Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
Died 1901, aged 81
Pages: 24-25, 120-123, 156-157, 195
House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor
Edward VII
Born 1841
Ascended the throne 1901
Reigned 9 years
Son of Queen Victoria
Married Alexandra of Denmark
Died 1910, aged 68
Pages: 120-123
George V
Born 1865
Ascended the throne 1910
Reigned 25 years
Son of Edward VII
Married Princess Mary of Teck
Died 1936, aged 70
Pages: 46, 157
Edward VIII
Born 1894
Ascended the throne 1936
Reigned for 11 months (abdicated)
Son of George V
Married Mrs. Wallis Warfield Simpson
Died 1972, aged 78
Pages: 25-26, 48-51
George VI
Born 1895
Ascended the throne 1936
Reigned 15 years
Son of George V; brother of Edward VIII
Married Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon
Died 1952, aged 56
Page: 49
Elizabeth II
Born 1926
Ascended the throne 1952
Currently reigning
Daughter of George VI
Married Philip Mountbatten (formerly Prince Philip of Greece), Duke
of Edinburgh
Page: 285
APPENDIX II
French Monarchs (1515-1814)
House of Valois
Francis I
Born 1494
Ascended the throne 1515
Reigned 32 years
Married (1) Claude, daughter of Louis XII (2) Eleanor of Spain
Died 1547, aged 52
Pages: 8, 61
Henri II
Born 1519
Ascended the throne 1547
Reigned 12 years (killed in a jousting tournament)
Son of Francis I
Married Catherine de Medici
Died 1559, aged 40
Pages: 8-9, 11
Francis II
Born 1544
Ascended the throne 1559
Reigned 1 year
Son of Henri II
Married Mary Queen of Scots
Died 1560, aged 16
Page: 81
Charles IX
Born 1550
Ascended the throne 1560
Reigned 13 years
Brother of Francis II
Married Elizabeth of Austria
Died 1574, aged 23
Page: 12
Henri III
Born 1551
Ascended the throne 1574
Reigned 15 years (assassinated)
Brother of Charles IX and Francis II
Married Louise of Lorraine
Died 1589, aged 37
Pages: 9-11
House of Bourbon
Henry IV
Born 1553
Ascended the throne 1589
Reigned 20 years (assassinated)
Married (1) Marguerite (Margot) of Valois (2) Marie de Medici
Died 1610, aged 56
Pages: 11-14
Louis XIII
Born 1601
Ascended the throne 1610
Reigned 33 years
Son of Henry IV
Married Anne of Austria
Died 1643, aged 41
Louis XIV (“ The Sun King”)
Born 1638
Ascended the throne 1643
Reigned 72 years (longest in European history)
Son of Louis XIII
Married (1) Marie Therese of Austria (2) Mme. de Maintenon
Died 1715, aged 77
Pages: 14, 34-38, 180-181, 272-273
Louis XV
Born 1710
Ascended the throne 1715
Reigned 58 years
Great-grandson of Louis XIV
&nb
sp; Married Marie Leszcynska of Poland
Died 1774, aged 64
Pages: 14-15, 93
Louis XVI
Born 1754
Ascended the throne 1774
Reigned 18 years (deposed and executed)
Grandson of Louis XV
Married Marie Antoinette of Austria
Died 1793, aged 38
Pages: 14, 93, 272, 276-277
First Republic (No Monarchy) 1792-1804
Empire
Napoleon I
Born 1769
Crowned himself emperor 1804
Reigned 14 years (twice abdicated)
Married (1) Josephine de Beauharnais (2) Marie Louise of Austria
Died 1821, aged 51
Pages: 96, 158-169, 279-280
Appendix III
Russian Monarchs (1682-1917) The Romanovs
Peter I (The Great )
Born 1672
Ascended the throne 1682 (shared with half brother Ivan V until 1696)
Reigned 43 years
Married (1) Eudoxia Lopukhin (2) Marta Skowronska
(later Empress Catherine I)
Died 1725, aged 52
Pages: 115-119, 182-185
Catherine I
Born 1684
Ascended the throne 1725
Reigned 2 years
Second wife of Peter the Great
Died 1727, aged 43
A Treasury of Royal Scandals: The Shocking True Stories History's Wickedest Weirdest Most Wanton Kings Queens Page 23
