I hid in my room for a while adding cowardice to my list of negative character traits. But finally, I knew I couldn't hide anymore, and I walked back to the living area, hoping that Andi would be there. She was the type of woman that could get knocked down or mistreated, but stand back up, defiantly holding her chin up.
She wasn't there. Looking over toward her room, her door was closed. I didn't have the guts to go knock to talk to her and apologize. Instead, I got a drink and headed back to my room.
I didn’t know how I got any sleep that night, but the next morning I was resolved that I had to talk to her. I needed to let her know that what happened was on me. How I'd reacted was on me as well. It didn't matter how amazing I thought she was, or how great the sex had been, she and I could never be. I'd always known it, and for one moment I'd forgotten. And now I'd fucked things up more than they had been before.
I exited to the main area of the suite and looked over at the table where normally I'd find her working. She wasn't there. Not only that, all her papers were gone as well. I looked over towards her room and the door was slightly ajar.
"Andi?" I called as I made my way over to her room. "Andi, are you in there?"
The suite was silent. I gently pushed the door open and tentatively peeked in not wanting to find her in some sort of state of undress. The bed was unmade, but the rest of the room didn't seem to have any of her belongings in it. Maybe she wasn't like me and was living out of her suitcase. She seemed efficient and the type of woman that would put her clothes in the dresser and hang them in the closet. I walked near the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Andi?"
No answer. I walked back out to the living area and for a moment just stood in the middle of the room as I tried to figure out where she could be. Maybe she’d gone out for breakfast. God, I hope it wasn't with Marcus. Or maybe she went to the office.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted her to see where she was. While I waited for her response, I called down to room service to order coffee. But a few minutes later when she didn't text back, I began to worry. I walked over to the window to look down onto the street. The crowds were still there, along with the shouting, and I couldn't believe that Andi would've left the building. After all, it was on lockdown.
When my coffee arrived and there was still no word from Andi, my worry started to tick up a bit. I called over to the office to see if maybe Phil had heard from her.
"Everything's going all right down here," Phil said when he picked up the phone. "I brought in additional security. However, as you know, the office is far enough away from the protest that we should be all right."
"It's good to hear," I said. "Listen, has Andi been in touch at all?" I asked.
There was a pause on the end of the line, and I could picture Phil wondering why I was asking about Andi when she was supposed to be here with me.
"She did call a little bit earlier to check on everything, but I told her what I've told you, that we've added some extra security but don't expect any trouble in this area."
I wanted to ask him if she had given any indication to where she was, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She had to be in the hotel so that's where I would have to look.
Of course, it was a large hotel with many rooms, and I wasn't sure where to start. Unless of course she was downstairs having breakfast.
I thought about contacting my grandmother to see if she heard from Andi, but I was concerned about worrying her. So instead, I picked up the phone and called Ryan. I tried to be nonchalant as I asked him if Andi had reported to him at all.
"I haven't heard from her, but maybe Gran has," he said to me. In the background I heard Kellie say something but couldn’t decipher it.
"Kellie said she talked to her earlier. Why? Is something going on?"
I debated with how much I should tell them. I didn't want to worry them and at the same time Andi was missing. "When I got up this morning she wasn't here, and she hasn't responded to my texts. I'm trying to locate her."
"That doesn't sound like Andi,” Ryan said.
"No, it doesn't." But I wasn't about to tell him the way I treated her the day before. "Phil has heard from her, so I should think she's okay, but I’d like to locate her just the same."
Kellie was talking again in the background.
"Kellie said she can try to get a hold of her, if you want," Ryan said.
If Andi and Kellie had talked recently, God only knew what Andi had told her. I suspected that if she said something about fucking her, Kellie would have told Ryan, who’d have scolded me. Since he didn’t, I could only assume that Andi didn’t say anything to Kellie.
"I think I'll just head downstairs and see if I can't find her in the restaurant or something."
Leaving my coffee to get cold, I headed downstairs. I went to the restaurant and then to a smaller little bistro type that wasn't open yet. I made my way to the pool, remembering that she liked to swim. But it was empty. I also checked out the fitness room which had a couple of people in it, but no Andi.
Beginning to feel even more worried than desperate. I went to the front desk. "I'm looking for Andi Walker. Has she checked out?" The clerk shook her head. "No. She's booked a new room. We finally had an opening.”
I realized the clerk was the same woman who had checked us in when I had made a stink about not having two rooms.
"Would you mind giving me a room number?"
The clerk shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I am not allowed to give out that information. I can call the room for you."
I understood the hotel's policy, but that didn't mean it wasn't ticking me off. "Yes, please."
The clerk dialed the room and while I tried to look to see the number she dialed, I wasn't able to decipher her room number from it.
"Miss Walker? There is someone at the front desk who would like to speak with you." The woman handed me the phone.
All of a sudden, I was angry that I was having to be put through all this. I thought Andi was more mature than to sulk off. She was the type of woman to ring me out.
But I knew coming off angry wasn't going to help so I yanked the reins back on my anger. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"You and I need some space if we’re going to keep things professional," she said in that prim and proper tone she’d get with me when she was mad.
It was exactly the sort of thing that I needed to hear because it's what I wanted. It's what I'd been trying so hard to keep between us. So why was hearing it from her not sitting well in my gut.
"I understand. Even so, we do have work to do and we need to be able to communicate, so next time if you could please respond to my text, I'd appreciate it."
"Yes, sir." She said tersely.
Inwardly I swore, as I realized my tone had been chastising.
"I’m working with Phil remotely going through our vendor list," she finished saying.
"That sounds good. I'll be working up in the suite today, if you need anything."
"Of course." She said, which I knew meant, fat chance.
I hung up the phone not liking the unsettled feeling I had, yet knowing there was little I could do about it.
I had a project I needed to complete for my grandmother, so I headed back upstairs. But instead of working, I simply paced. I knew I messed up last night. And Andi being the trooper she was, she was going to save me from having to grovel and apologize by acting professional. I felt shame and at the same time, angry. And then I felt regret. All of it made it fucking difficult to work.
After a couple hours I realized I wasn't going to be able to get anything done. So, I changed my clothes and went down to the gym to run on the treadmill hoping the exertion would ride me of all the negative energy and hopefully clear my head.
After the workout I did feel looser, although emotionally, the guilt still hung heavy on me. I returned to the room and had a shower, then decided to go to the restaurant for a change of scenery, instead of ordering lunch up to the room.
As I w
alked in the restaurant, I saw Andi sitting by herself. For a moment I just watched her. She was looking down at the menu, but I could still see the beautiful features of her face. She gnawed on her lower lip as she often did when she was unsure. Guilt and longing filled me, and I hated that we were in the position that we were in.
Finally, I got myself moving and I walked over to her table. "Can I join you?"
She looked up and there was a slight hitch in her breath when she saw me. For a moment I saw hurt in her eyes, but she quickly masked it as she nodded.
We gave the waiter our orders, and when he walked off, we were left sitting alone.
Finally, I found my voice. “I think we need to talk."
Andi, with those sharp dark eyes stared at me. "About what?"
My lips twitched up slightly, as her feistiness was one of the many things I liked about her. At the same time, I didn’t see the spark of mischief that often accompanied her fight, and that made me feel like shit.
I couldn’t take back what happened between us or that I'd hurt her, but I could do something to get us back on an even keel. Certainly, by now any feelings she might have for me or any idea that perhaps there could be something between us would have dissipated. She knew who I was. So, I was certain that her attempt to keep things professional was genuine. Now it was up to me to make the apology and then do better at respecting her.
14
Andi
During the night and all day today, I felt like I had built a big solid wall to keep Noah away. Yet, seeing him now, I could feel part of that wall start to crumble. I hated that because I wanted to be stronger. I wasn't the sort of woman that was going to moon over a man, especially one who clearly regretted having slept with her. But here I was, having to tamp down on the hope that Noah was changing his mind. Stupid hormones. Stupid heart.
He said we needed to talk, but I couldn't imagine what about except for him to tell me that I was a mistake. He didn't need to say that to me. I got that message loud and clear last night. Even though I was still feeling raw from what had happened, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of watching me run away and avoid this talk like I wanted to do.
"I want to apologize about last night."
I sat listening and my heart betrayed me again by doing a slow roll in my chest as if it thought he was going to apologize for running off, and then want to make up.
"I should've never touched you. That was a mistake and I'm very sorry about it."
And just like that, all the hurt was back again. I’d been right. He regretted what happened last night. But again, I wasn't going to let him know that he hurt me. So, I sucked it up and nodded.
I plastered on my indifferent expression and shook my head. "There's no need to apologize. Were both consenting adults. You didn't coerce me into anything that I didn't want to do."
He studied me for a moment, and then said, "But what happened clearly upset you because you changed rooms."
I frowned at him in disbelief. "You're the one that got upset and ran out of the room. I figured it was best to put some space between us."
Noah looked down and I thought maybe he was ashamed of himself. Well good, I thought.
I had to give him credit though when he lifted his gaze to look directly at me. "I shouldn’t have behaved that way. I was angry at myself for giving into the temptation. I thought I'd had it under control."
I gaped at him surprised by his explanation. "Had what under control?"
He rolled his eyes. "This attraction to you. It's wrong."
I wanted to think that maybe what he was saying was a positive thing. He was attracted to me and he couldn't help himself, which of course boosted my ego. But the only words I was able to take in was “mistake” and “wrong.”
I decided that it was time to give him an out, so we could stop this conversation. I waved my hand as if what happened was nothing. "I understand how you work, Noah. With you, it's one and done. You got your one, now you’re done.”
"Andi, it's not —"
I finally had hit my limit. So, I stood. "It's all right, Noah. We will give each other space. I’ll work with Phil and you can deal with the technical stuff. We’ll get this project done and then we can go home. It will be like last night never happened." If only I could forget.
I didn't wait for his response and instead I walked out. I would order lunch up in the room. As I entered the lobby from the restaurant, I noticed that the security squad was no longer at the front doors. I walked over to the front desk.
"Is the lockdown lifted?" I asked her.
"Yes, it is. You’re free to come and go as you please. I’m sure the concierge would be happy to arrange an outing if you like."
I thanked her deciding I could arrange my own outing. I headed out the door and onto the street deciding I’d find a quaint restaurant for lunch and maybe walk a little bit through the streets of Hong Kong.
I knew I had a job to do, but I could take a lunch break to take in the sights and smells in this exotic city. As I walked up the street, I ended up behind a couple who look like tourists like me. They were holding hands and every now and then the woman would drop her head onto the man's shoulder. At one point, he turned his head, kissing the top of her head. I don't know why but seeing them like that made me feel lonely.
I knew I didn't need a man in my life to complete me, but after seeing Ryan with Kellie, Hunter with Natalie, and now Carter with Jess, I could see how love could bring more depth and texture to life. All of them could be completely successful and content on their own, but somehow together they had even more. That sort of love and connection eluded me, and I was sure it always would.
Now, again feeling dejected, my interest in exploring waned. I turned, heading back to the hotel so I could shake the funk. When I arrived back, I went to my room planning to order lunch. But as I approached my room, a server did too.
"Mr. Strong asked that we bring your lunch to you," the server said as I reached my door.
I grumbled something about Noah for the first time in his life thinking about someone other than himself. I opened the door and let the server bring the food in and set it on my table. I gave him a tip and then he left.
I sat and stared at my food. As it turned out, I found that I wasn't hungry. I was rethinking my tour through the city, when my phone texted.
I haven't heard back from you about the possibility of giving you a tour of the city.
I stared at the text from Marcus, wondering what I should do. It didn't seem right to take him up on his offer, even though Noah had made it completely clear that there would be nothing between us. Plus, there was something about Marcus that had made us both uneasy, even though Marcus had been a great partner in our expansion through the country.
Then it occurred to me if we were suspicious of Marcus, what better way to learn more about him and his business, as well as the possibility that he could betray us, than accepting his offer of a tour of the city. If we weren't involved, seeing would clear his name, and I’d get a chance to get out and see the sights with a handsome man who appreciated me more than Noah did.
I texted back:
Actually, I was just thinking about a tour of the city and would enjoy having a guide.
He responded right away.
Excellent. I'll be there in a half hour. Be prepared to be wowed by Hong Kong.
I set my phone down feeling strange about what I’d just done, but not sure why. It almost felt like guilt, but I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t betraying Noah or the business. Was I?
15
Noah
I wanted to say fuck it and run after Andi and tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her how smart and amazing that I thought she was. I wanted her to know how much she lit me up on the inside, not just my dick but my whole being, when I was around her.
But I figured at this point the damage was done and I'd finally gotten what I'd set out to do, which was to put distance between us. I just wished I hadn't h
ad to hurt her to do that. I wished I'd been able to resist her.
Our breakfast arrived, and I gave an excuse to our waitress that Andi had an emergency come up and asked them to pack her breakfast and send it up to her room. Of course, I didn't have the room number so I had to trust that they would be able to get her breakfast to her.
Sitting in a hotel restaurant by myself in the middle of Hong Kong was not the place I wanted to be. If I was going to get out of here anytime soon, I needed to figure out who was sabotaging our system. So, as I ate, I pulled out my phone going through my emails and looking through the notes I'd made about the hack so far.
I couldn't figure out how our perpetrator got into the system, but it seemed to me it had to be through an existing employee. Not that that employee knew they were the doorway, but whoever the hacker was didn't just bust their way through our security. Instead, he was invited. Or at least duped someone into opening the door. But who that source was, I didn't know.
I'd already scanned through all the computers at the Hong Kong office, but I would do it again in case I missed something the first time through.
I finished my breakfast and arranged to have it put on my room bill, and decided to head back upstairs to regroup. Then I’d head out to the Hong Kong office.
I was halfway to the elevators when the doors opened, and Andi stepped out. She had changed and was now wearing a pair of jeans that hugged her curves perfectly. She had on a pretty floral top that dipped tantalizingly low in the front. It was the kind of cut that wasn't risqué, and at the same time drew a man to want to discover what was underneath it.
Since our confrontation the first time I caught her in a towel, she'd been going to the office wearing professional clothes like she would have if we were home in San Diego. Based on how she was dressed now, it didn't appear that she was going to the office.
Hate to Love You Strong Brothers #4) Page 8
