by Jo Cotterill
Hastily, Fliss poured hot water onto the teabag, squeezed it and dunked it into the second mug. (‘Never waste two teabags where one will do,’ Vivienne would have admonished. ‘Didn’t you know there’s a world shortage of tea?’)
‘Well, I think it’s really nice that your friends are so supportive,’ said Jeanette. ‘And I think whatever size of part you get, you should be pleased. After all, it’s not like it really matters, is it? It’s the taking part that counts.’
‘It’s not a team sport,’ said Fliss in a quiet voice. She added milk to the mugs and put them on the kitchen table. Inside she felt an ache. It was so difficult to talk to her mother about acting. Jeanette didn’t seem to understand the first thing about it. How could she explain that she wanted that part more than anything?
‘I know it’s not a sport,’ said Jeanette with a smile. ‘But it’s basically the same, isn’t it? You’re in the drama club because it’s fun and you get to have fun with other people your own age. Not because you’re going to be a great actress someday.’
Fliss curled her fingers around the scalding hot mug. Her heart gave a thump. ‘What if I were?’ she said, trying to keep her voice light.
‘Were what?’
‘Going to be a great actress.’ Fliss dared to glance up through her dark lashes at her mother. ‘What would you think?’
Jeanette hesitated for a moment, her head on one side and a puzzled expression on her face. Then suddenly she burst out laughing. ‘Oh, Felicity! You do know how to wind me up, don’t you? Going to be a great actress!’ She chuckled again. ‘You nearly got me there. I thought you were serious for a moment!’
Fliss gave something that looked like a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Just a joke.’
Chapter 2
focus!
‘DO I LOOK all right?’ Victoria asked for the third time.
Mari made an exasperated noise. ‘You look just like you did five minutes ago. Give it a rest, Vic.’
Victoria squirmed on her chair. ‘I’m just really nervous, that’s all.’ All the girls in the Circle Youth Theatre Company were sitting outside the studio that was their main rehearsal space. It was part of the Alexander Arts Centre, a large complex of dance studios and gym halls, and the corridor was long, painted cream, and smelled of socks. Victoria, Fliss and Mari were sitting close to the door, waiting for Candy to come out and call them in one by one. Victoria squirmed again. ‘Aren’t you nervous?’
‘We all are.’ Mari glanced to her left. ‘You all right, Fliss?’
Fliss was staring into space, her lips moving inaudibly.
‘Fliss?’
‘Hmm? Oh – yeah, I’m OK. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Aren’t you nervous?’
Fliss considered. ‘A bit, I suppose. Not properly. Not like nervous before a performance. I mean, it’s only Candy in there, isn’t it?’
Mari shook her head in wonderment. ‘I wish I could be so calm. I know I won’t get Juliet, but there’s always Lady Capulet, or the Nurse.’
‘I won’t even be good enough for one of them,’ said Victoria gloomily. ‘I just hope I don’t have to play a boy again.’
Fliss, momentarily diverted, turned to look at her. ‘The boys get swords.’
‘Ooh,’ said Victoria, brightening up. ‘That would be fun.’
‘You with a sword?’ said Mari in horror. ‘That wouldn’t be fun, it would be a disaster waiting to happen.’
Victoria was about to reply when the door to the studio opened and Candy came out. She looked around at the assembled girls. ‘Great to see so many of you,’ she said. ‘I’ll try not to keep you waiting too long, but I have to make sure everyone gets a fair shot, OK?’ She frowned. ‘Isn’t Samantha here?’
Fliss glanced around in surprise. ‘Maybe she’s not coming,’ whispered Mari hopefully.
‘I’m sure she’ll be along soon,’ said Candy. ‘I can’t imagine she’d want to miss the auditions.’
Mari snorted and then tried to turn it into a cough.
‘Mari,’ said Candy, ‘why don’t you come in first? You got a speech sorted?’
‘Yum-hum,’ mumbled Mari.
‘Excellent.’ Candy stood aside and held the door open. ‘In you come.’
Mari shot a terrified look at Fliss before getting to her feet and shuffling into the studio as though she were walking to her execution.
The door of the studio wasn’t soundproof, so before long they could hear Mari’s voice rising and falling as she performed her speech, although it wasn’t loud enough to hear the words. At one point she faltered, and Fliss held her breath. After a moment, however, Mari resumed, and Fliss and Victoria both breathed a sigh of relief.
‘That was the line she always forgets, bet you anything,’ whispered Victoria. All three girls had heard each other’s speeches so often they knew exactly how it should go. Mari finished her speech and Victoria wriggled on her seat again. ‘I hope I’m next,’ she said. ‘I mean, I don’t really because I’m terrified and actually I don’t want to go in there at all, but it would be better to get it over and done with, don’t you think? Or maybe it’d be better to perform last, when there’s no one listening in the corridor. Oh – though the boys might be here by then, I guess. That would be even worse. Doing my speech and knowing . . .’
Fliss let Victoria’s voice wash over her. Gazing at the polished linoleum floor, she ran through her speech in her mind again. She had done it so many times now she could have performed it in her sleep. Indeed, only the night before Jeanette had paused outside her daughter’s room, puzzled by the low murmuring. Putting her ear to the door, she heard Fliss say, ‘In half an hour she promised . . .’ Jeanette frowned and pushed open the door, just as Fliss said loudly, ‘Oh, she is lame!’ Jeanette jumped, but Fliss rubbed her hand across her face, turned over in bed and soon resumed her deep breathing. Jeanette quietly went out of the room and closed the door behind her.
When Mari came out, Victoria went in. Mari was trembling. ‘Thank goodness that’s over,’ she said. ‘I need to sit down.’
Fliss couldn’t help smiling at the normally unflappable Mari. ‘You’re not usually this jumpy.’
‘She made me improvise!’ said Mari in horror. ‘Make stuff up! I can’t do that, you know I can’t! Give me lines and I know where I am. It was awful. I’ll be lucky to get any kind of part after that.’
Fliss squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘I’m sure you—’ she began, but just then there was a commotion at the end of the corridor, and Samantha swept towards them as though blown in by a strong wind.
‘God, why can’t cyclists stay in their own lanes? That stupid man nearly made me miss the audition!’
‘What happened?’ asked Eloise, a girl who wished she could be more like Samantha and had even dyed her hair the same shade. ‘Sit down and get your breath.’
‘I can’t sit down,’ said Samantha dramatically. ‘I’m too wound up. Honestly! They shouldn’t even be on the roads – I mean, it’s downright dangerous!’ Looking round to check that everyone was hanging on her every word, she continued, ‘This old man – he must have been at least forty – tried to cycle right across in front of my dad. Wanted to turn down one of the side roads. Dad had to do an emergency stop to make sure he didn’t hit him. Don’t these cyclists even look behind them?’
‘Didn’t he put his arm out to show he was turning right?’ asked Mari.
Samantha shrugged carelessly. ‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘That’s really dangerous,’ said Eloise breathlessly. ‘You could have had a really bad accident.’
‘I know!’ said Samantha. ‘That’s what I’m saying!’
‘But you didn’t,’ said Mari.
‘Luckily,’ said Eloise, shooting her a look.
‘Yeah, because my dad knew what he was doing. Forty miles an hour to zero just like that!’ Samantha snapped her fingers. The girls around her nodded, impressed.
‘Forty?’ asked Mari.
‘Where was this?’
‘Just down the road,’ said Samantha. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’
‘It’s a thirty-mile-an-hour zone,’ said Mari. ‘Your dad was speeding.’
There was a slight gasp from the watching girls. Samantha’s face slowly reddened. Mari stared at her calmly. Fliss screwed up her eyes. She hated confrontation. Mari had never liked Samantha. She thought Samantha was vain and stuck-up and false.
‘Some people,’ said Samantha in a low hiss, ‘should keep their opinions to themselves. Especially when they want a part in this play.’
Mari laughed. ‘What are you trying to say? That you’ve got some kind of influence over who gets cast?’
Samantha raised one plucked eyebrow. ‘I’m just saying Candy doesn’t like working with difficult people.’
‘Yeah,’ Eloise butted in. ‘And that thirty-mile-an-hour sign is just a guideline anyway.’
There was a slight pause. Eloise looked around. ‘What?’
Mari ignored Eloise. ‘You think I’m difficult?’ she said pointedly to Samantha. ‘You have no idea how difficult I can be.’
Samantha laughed. ‘Is that some kind of ridiculous threat?’ She sat down next to Eloise and turned her back on Mari.
Fliss tugged on Mari’s hand. ‘Mari . . .’
‘She’s so full of herself!’ said Mari in a deliberately loud voice. Some of the other girls started to look annoyed.
‘Sit down,’ muttered Fliss through gritted teeth.
Mari ignored her. ‘She thinks just because she’s a model, she’s better than anyone else!’
Samantha said to Eloise, ‘Some people can’t admit they’re jealous.’
Eloise nodded wisely. ‘Not everyone is as lucky as you.’
‘That’s right,’ said Samantha with a small sigh. She glanced slyly over her shoulder. ‘And some people will just never have the figure for modelling.’
Mari pulled her arm out of Fliss’s grasp. ‘Are you saying I’m fat?’ she said furiously.
Samantha rolled her eyes.
‘If you’ve got something to say,’ said Mari, her voice getting louder and louder, ‘you can say it to my face.’
‘I wouldn’t dare,’ said Samantha smugly, ‘if you’re really as difficult as you say.’ Eloise burst into high-pitched giggles.
The door to the studio opened and Candy stuck her head out, frowning. ‘What on earth is going on? Can’t you even wait quietly out here? How is poor Victoria meant to remember her lines with you lot shouting and cackling in the corridor?’
The girls looked ashamed, though Mari was still trembling with rage. Candy glanced at her. ‘Mari, you don’t need to hang around now you’ve finished. Why don’t you go outside and get some air? Samantha, good to see you made it.’ She swept a stern gaze over them all. ‘You should be focused and calm before you perform. If you can’t manage that, I shall have to think twice about offering you a part. I don’t expect to have to come out here and speak to you again.’ She went back into the studio and the door closed behind her.
Mari turned without another word and walked out. Samantha shook her head and sighed. ‘Some people are just too sensitive.’ Her eyes had a malicious gleam.
That was nasty, thought Fliss. Samantha wound Mari up on purpose. Though, she had to admit, it hadn’t taken much doing. Fliss didn’t like Samantha either but she didn’t have such a personal hatred as Mari. For a moment, Fliss wondered what it was about Samantha that Mari couldn’t stand, but there wasn’t time to think about that now. Focus, Candy had said. Focus. Fliss bent her head and closed her eyes, running through the speech yet again in her head.
By the time Victoria came out, the corridor was quiet again. ‘I did OK after all,’ she said with some relief. ‘I didn’t mess up my lines too much. I got to the end of the speech anyway. What was going on out here, why was there so much noise?’
Fliss was about to explain, but Candy came out and beckoned to her. ‘Come on in, Fliss. I need to keep things moving.’
‘Good luck,’ said Victoria. ‘I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.’ She looked at Fliss meaningfully, and Fliss nodded in response. Both Victoria and Mari wanted her to play Juliet, and if Samantha got the part after today’s argument with Mari, it seemed likely that Mari would resign as she had promised. Fliss hoped she could convince Candy she was good enough.
‘Which speech are you doing for me?’ asked Candy, as she settled herself on a chair against the wall.
‘Act Two, Scene Five, begins with The clock struck nine,’ said Fliss.
Candy looked surprised. ‘Not the balcony scene?’
Fliss shook her head. ‘I thought this had more variety.’
Candy nodded thoughtfully. ‘Off you go then.’
Fliss took up her position in the middle of the room, closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated. She was in love . . . she was impatient . . . she was waiting . . . she was in the gardens . . .
Fliss opened her eyes. Around her she no longer saw the bare walls and polished floor of the studio. Instead there was an orchard of fruit trees, their scent carried on the wind. Beneath her feet was soft grass, and to her right was the garden wall, a single gate breaking its length. Fliss’s eyes were fixed on this gate. Her whole body tensed with anticipation. ‘The clock struck nine when I did send the Nurse,’ she said. ‘In half an hour she promised to return.’
Candy watched as Fliss paced the room, exclaiming at the Nurse’s lateness, her voice softening as she talked of Romeo and then becoming wittily sarcastic as she commented how ‘old folks’ behaved as though ‘they were dead’.
Almost before she had got into her stride, Fliss discovered the speech was over. Slowly, the room swam back into focus, the smell of the apples disappearing into fantasy.
There was a smattering of applause from the corridor. Victoria must have been listening intently. Candy smiled. ‘Very nice, Fliss, thank you.’
Fliss blushed, glad that it had gone as well as in practices.
‘How do you see Juliet?’ asked Candy. ‘What sort of a girl is she?’
Fliss leaned forward eagerly. ‘She’s young, but she’s not stupid. She’s been sheltered all her life by her family – she’s not really mixed with boys before. So when she meets Romeo, it’s like a whole new world opens up for her. She’s got so many feelings she doesn’t know what to do with them. She’s completely unprepared. And because she’s quite impulsive, she just goes with her heart.’
‘Do you think she should consider her parents’ feelings more?’ asked Candy.
Fliss shook her head. She felt confident now; Juliet was a character she knew well, almost like a real-life friend. ‘She’s a teenager in love. Who thinks about their parents at times like that?’
Candy laughed. ‘Good point.’
‘And I think all the way through she’s hoping deep down that she can talk her parents round. If she presents them with Romeo as her husband – they’ve secretly got married – and says this is the boy I love, she thinks they’ll accept him into the family. Because they love her and she’s their only child.’
‘You sound as though you’ve thought about this a lot.’
Fliss blushed. ‘I’ve read the play loads of times. It’s my favourite.’
‘Have you got brothers or sisters?’
‘No. I’m an only child. Like Juliet.’
Candy tilted her head to one side. ‘And what would your parents say if you decided to get married in secret?’
‘I don’t have a dad,’ said Fliss, ‘but my mum would be devastated. She’d probably never speak to me again.’
Candy nodded thoughtfully. ‘So you can imagine how much in love Juliet must be to override her affection for her family.’
Fliss hesitated. ‘Yes.’ She didn’t say she would never do something like that to her mother. No matter how in love she was. The thought of the recriminations, the disappointment in Jeanette’s face – they were too much to even imagine.
‘Wel
l, thank you very much,’ said Candy. ‘Would you like to send Eloise in?’
‘Don’t you want me to improvise?’ asked Fliss, surprised.
‘No, that’s all right. I know what you can do.’
‘Oh. Right, then.’ Feeling deflated, Fliss went out into the corridor.
Victoria was still there, beaming up at her. ‘That sounded brill. You got all the rhythm of the language like you did in practice. Well done!’
‘Eloise, she wants you next,’ said Fliss. She sat down next to Victoria.
‘You weren’t in there very long,’ said Victoria.
‘I know,’ said Fliss, rubbing the side of her head. ‘I can’t work out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. She didn’t ask me to improvise like Mari.’
‘And me,’ said Victoria. ‘I was rubbish.’
Fliss frowned. ‘You had to improvise too? Why didn’t she ask me?’
‘Probably thought there wasn’t any point,’ said Samantha.
Fliss didn’t reply. Was Samantha right? Did Candy think she wasn’t good enough to improvise?
‘I expect there was no point because she saw how amazing you were,’ said Victoria in a comforting way. ‘We don’t have to stay in here. We could go out and see if Mari is still around.’
Fliss cast an anxious look at the studio door. ‘I don’t know. I just – oh, all right. Let’s go outside.’
Mari was lying on her back in the grass. When she saw Fliss and Victoria, she sat up. ‘How did it go?’
‘Fliss was brilliant as usual,’ said Victoria, flopping down beside her. ‘I was rubbish.’
‘Sorry if I put you off,’ said Mari.
‘Was that you making all that noise?’
‘Yeah.’ Mari pulled the head off a daisy. ‘That Samantha again. Said I was fat.’
‘You’re not fat!’ said Victoria indignantly. ‘She’s such an evil moo.’
Fliss said nothing. She didn’t want to upset Mari by disagreeing with her. Samantha hadn’t exactly called her fat . . .
The girls chatted for a while about the auditions, and tried to puzzle out why Fliss hadn’t been asked to improvise like the others. In little groups, the other girls gradually came out of the building, some of them settling down on their own patch of grass, others heading off home.
