by Jo Cotterill
Tom squeezed her hand and then stepped easily away from Fliss. ‘I think we should call it a night. I’ve got to get home.’
Samantha hesitated for a moment, seemingly torn between trying to rehearse more and doing what Tom wanted. ‘Yes,’ she said, starting to gather up her script and bag. ‘It is kind of late. You walking home?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I’ll come with you. It’s sort of on my way.’
Tom headed to the door, Samantha chatting away to him. Fliss stood in the middle of the floor. What had just happened? She’d had her first kiss – her very first kiss – with the boy she thought about every day. It had been wonderful; amazing. But Tom was walking off, with Samantha of all people! Samantha had thrown herself at him, and their kiss had certainly looked genuine, but when Tom had kissed Fliss, there had been a connection there, she was sure of it. Maybe he hadn’t felt it? Did it mean nothing to him?
Or, worse, had Samantha been a better kisser than she was? Fliss stood miserably in the middle of the floor as her mind whirled and her knees trembled.
Samantha looked back from the doorway. ‘Can you switch the lights off when you go, Fliss? Ta!’
The door swung closed behind them.
Chapter 5
she’s lying!
‘YOU SHOULD COMPLAIN,’ said Mari. ‘Tell Candy. I’ve half a mind to do it myself.’
‘But tell her what?’ said Fliss. ‘Samantha was just doing her job.’
‘Sounds like she wasn’t just doing her job but doing yours as well,’ said Victoria. ‘She had no right to make you watch her like that.’
Fliss sighed. ‘I know. But it must be hard for her. She really wanted to play Juliet.’
The three girls were lying on the grass of Victoria’s back garden. Victoria’s mother worked for a big PR firm and her father was a doctor. Victoria’s house was easily the nicest out of the three girls’. Her parents even employed a gardener once a week to mow the lawn and weed the flowerbeds. Mari and Fliss always came over whenever they could. Fliss’s back garden consisted of a small patch of grass and some broken paving slabs. Mari didn’t even have a garden, just a paved patio for a barbecue.
Fliss looked up at the sky and watched a bird circling high above her. ‘I feel a bit sorry for her in a way,’ she said. ‘She’s so in-your-face all the time. Don’t you think that means she must be unhappy?’
‘Attention-seeking,’ said Mari firmly. ‘Shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it.’
‘I’m surprised,’ mused Victoria, ‘that Tom didn’t say anything.’
‘Very weak of him,’ said Mari. ‘He should have told her where to go – grabbing him and snogging him like that!’
‘Seems odd that he didn’t stand up to her,’ said Victoria.
Mari nodded. ‘He’s gone down in my estimation since that. I thought he should have stood up for Fliss more.’
Fliss felt hot with embarrassment. ‘He did. I mean, he tried to. He told Samantha it was my turn and she should let me have a go.’ She picked at the lawn in a dispirited way. ‘It was my fault she got away with it all. I should have said something.’
‘Yes, but we all know what you’re like,’ said Mari affectionately. ‘Wouldn’t say boo to a goose.’
‘Do you think he fancies her?’ said Victoria suddenly.
Mari stretched out in the sun. ‘He’s thicker than I thought if he does.’
‘She is very pretty,’ said Victoria.
‘As long as she doesn’t open her mouth,’ said Mari. ‘And she definitely wants him, doesn’t she? I mean, all that stuff last night. And walking home with him – she doesn’t even live in the same direction!’ She turned her head to look at Fliss. ‘You OK?’
Fliss nodded miserably.
‘If you’d just stand up for yourself a bit more,’ said Mari, ‘you wouldn’t get walked over like that.’
‘I do try,’ whispered Fliss.
Victoria reached for her hand. ‘Leave her alone,’ she told Mari. ‘Just because you don’t mind shooting your mouth off doesn’t mean other people can do it.’
‘I don’t shoot my mouth off,’ said Mari. ‘I just say what I think.’
‘And sometimes that’s a really good thing,’ said Victoria. ‘But we’re not all as confident as you.’
Mari sighed. ‘I know. Sorry, Fliss. I don’t mean to upset you. I just don’t like seeing Samantha get one up on you. You’re loads better than she is. If she’d played Juliet it would have been awful.’
‘Candy said her performance was very powerful,’ said Fliss.
‘I’ll bet it was,’ said Mari with a snort. ‘Have you seen her do Shakespeare? I saw her do a speech from A Midsummer Night’s Dream once. She announces every single word, like she’s in the Royal Shakespeare Company or something. And she stops at the end of each line! Even if the sentence runs on to the next one! Look, I’ll show you.’ She jumped to her feet. Fliss and Victoria sat up and watched Mari strike a dramatic pose. ‘Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day!’ She took a deep breath and walked three steps. ‘It was the nightingale and not the lark!’ She took another breath and turned to face a different direction. ‘That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear!’ Her arm shot out in a dramatic gesture. ‘Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree!’
‘Stop, stop,’ said Victoria, giggling so hard she could hardly sit upright.
‘That’s so over the top,’ laughed Fliss, trying to catch her breath.
‘That’s what she’s like!’ said Mari. ‘Can you imagine?’ She knelt down in front of Fliss. ‘You are the best person to play Juliet, and don’t you forget it. Don’t let Smarmy Samantha make you think anything different. She’s rubbish, she doesn’t know anything.’ She took Fliss’s hand. ‘And I swear I won’t have a go at you about being all meek and timid any more, but I shall support you all the way to the bitter end!’
‘Hear hear,’ said Victoria. Mari took hold of her hand and placed it on top of Fliss’s with her own.
‘We solemnly swear,’ she said, ‘to be your bestest friends and to help you out all the way.’ She nudged Victoria.
‘Oh right,’ said Victoria. She put on a deep voice. ‘I swear.’
‘You two,’ said Fliss, ‘are the silliest people I ever met. What would I do without you?’
‘I’m sorry to call you in for an extra rehearsal,’ said Candy to Tom and Fliss. ‘I know you worked on this scene the other day with Samantha. But I’m really keen to see what you’ve done and make sure that you’re happy with it too.’
Fliss nodded. She was relieved that Candy was going to take this rehearsal – Victoria had told her that Candy had been away for a couple of days visiting her mother. Samantha had taken a Chorus rehearsal in her absence. ‘It was a disaster,’ said Victoria. ‘Samantha just looked bored through the whole thing, and when we asked her if we were doing it right, she just shrugged and said, “whatever”. And then when Simone forgot one of her lines, Samantha went ballistic. Said she had the script in front of her the whole time, how could she forget it was her turn to speak?’ Victoria bit her nail. ‘It’s a good thing Candy’s not away for long. I’d resign if Samantha was in charge. Simone said she felt the same way.’
Candy smiled at Tom and Fliss. ‘Did it go OK the other day? I know it’s a bit embarrassing when you have to kiss someone on stage.’
Fliss blushed and looked at her feet. ‘Oh, it was all right,’ said Tom. Just all right? wondered Fliss.
The door opened suddenly and in came Samantha. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ she said breathlessly. ‘I only just got your message about the extra rehearsal.’
‘That’s OK,’ said Candy, ‘but you didn’t have to come, you know. I did say you could skip this one.’
‘I know,’ said Samantha, sitting down and taking out her script and pencil. ‘But you know how much I love this play! I couldn’t miss a single rehearsal!’
Fliss’s heart sank. She had hoped that Samantha wouldn’t be present.
‘
All right,’ said Candy. ‘Let’s get going.’
Tom glanced at Fliss. ‘You ready?’ he said.
She nodded and took a breath. ‘If I profane . . .’ began Tom.
At the end of the scene, Fliss and Tom looked at Candy. She was wearing a confused expression. ‘Well,’ she said hesitantly, ‘I can see you’ve done some thinking about it all. And there are some nice moments.’ She rubbed her nose. ‘But there’s something uncomfortable about it. Fliss – are you – I mean, do you feel the need to move around that much? It’s just that it seems to impact on the intensity of the meeting if you’re walking around all the time.’
‘I think she should try keeping still,’ said Samantha. ‘I told her in the earlier rehearsal. It’d make for a stronger focus.’
Candy nodded. ‘I agree.’
Fliss’s jaw dropped. She had been acting the way Samantha had told her to! I wanted to keep still from the start, she was bursting to say. But she told me to be flirty, to move around. It wasn’t my choice! Samantha told me to do it like that! She’s lying!
Candy was looking at her. ‘Fliss? You happy to try that?’
Fliss nodded, trying to ignore the ball of hurt injustice inside her. Tom opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again, throwing Fliss a puzzled look.
They did the scene again and this time Fliss trusted her own instincts. ‘Much better,’ said Candy, sounding pleased. ‘But Fliss, I think you need to relax a bit more. You don’t look very happy yet – Juliet has to be kind of carried away by her feelings. You still look as though you’re holding back.’
Fliss nodded. Of course she was holding back! Samantha was glaring at her the whole time!
‘Maybe Fliss is just finding her feet,’ said Tom.
Fliss looked at him, startled.
‘She’s naturally quite a quiet person, isn’t she?’ he went on, and then turned to her. ‘Sorry, I mean – you are, aren’t you? A bit shy in real life?’
Tongue-tied, she nodded.
Candy smiled. ‘Sorry, Fliss. I know it’s not easy for you to just let go on stage. But I believe you can do it. You did it in the audition. You have to pretend there’s no one watching.’
Fliss’s eyes darted automatically to Samantha, who was nodding in agreement. ‘Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one’s watching and live like it’s heaven on earth,’ she said dramatically.
‘That’s beautiful,’ said Candy. ‘Dance like no one’s watching. Perfect. Can you do that, Fliss?’
Fliss felt trapped. Why couldn’t they see? It was Samantha making her tense up – it was her bare-faced lying – that was what was ruining her acting. To her sudden shock, Tom took her hand. ‘Fliss,’ he said gently. ‘Fliss, it’ll be fine.’
She looked up, and her eyes met his. That strange floating yet drowning feeling swept over her as it always did. Tom’s eyes were soft. ‘Imagine it’s just us, right? Just you and me. You can do that, can’t you?’
She nodded. He smiled. ‘Cool.’
A strange feeling of unreality crept over Fliss. The walls evaporated; she felt carpet under her feet; music in her ears. Romeo approached her. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and he was so clever with words! She couldn’t take her eyes off him. When he kissed her, she felt swept away. It was hard to remember how to speak . . .
When the scene was finished, Candy breathed out. ‘That was brilliant, guys. Wow. Do it just like that and I can die happy.’ She shook her head. ‘Fliss, I don’t know what you told yourself, but don’t lose it. What you just did – what you just produced – that’s the reason I gave you the part.’ She laughed. ‘In fact, Tom, she just acted you off the stage. You’re going to have to raise your game if she’s that good.’
Tom grinned. ‘I know. Not sure I can keep up.’
Fliss, embarrassed with the praise, snatched a quick glance at Samantha. Samantha looked as though she was about to be sick, and a warmth spread through Fliss. She had done it! She had proved she was worthy of the part – and she had shown Samantha that she wouldn’t be put off by her petty jealousy any more.
‘That was impressive,’ Tom told Fliss. ‘Your eyes do this thing where they go enormous – how do you do that?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Maybe it’s when I become someone else.’
Samantha made a noise that sounded like, ‘Tchuh!’ and then pretended it was a sneeze.
‘You really do, don’t you?’ said Tom. ‘You weren’t Fliss any more. You were Juliet.’ He was staring at her. ‘You even looked different.’
Candy was nodding. ‘She absorbs herself into the part. You have real talent, Fliss. I hardly need to direct you at all. Trust your instincts, you’re usually right.’
Samantha started to pack away noisily. ‘Are we finished, Candy? Only I’ve got some stuff to be getting on with.’
The tiniest hint of irritation flashed into Candy’s eyes. ‘Yes, I think we’re done here. Unless you two want to do the scene again?’ She looked from one to the other. ‘You don’t need to from my point of view. As long as you can remember what moves you made, and try to do the same thing next time.’
Tom nodded. ‘Sure.’
‘OK,’ said Candy.
Samantha was already standing by the door, her foot tapping. ‘Tom, you coming?’
Tom looked momentarily startled. ‘Huh?’
Samantha rolled her eyes. ‘You said you’d help me with that audition speech, remember?’
‘Audition speech?’ repeated Fliss.
Samantha turned to stare at her. ‘It’s for a production at the Playhouse this Christmas. Oh, didn’t you know? It’s too late to apply now, I’m afraid. They’re only holding auditions this week.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Fliss. She felt very young suddenly. Here was Samantha going off to auditions and it hadn’t even occurred to Fliss that you could do that. And how had she heard about it anyway?
‘They’re doing A Christmas Carol,’ Candy said to Fliss. ‘They need some street urchins.’
Fliss tried not to smile. She found it hard to imagine Samantha as a street urchin. It seemed far too dirty and unglamorous a role for her!
‘You said you’d go through my lines with me,’ Samantha persisted. ‘When we were talking yesterday?’
‘Oh, right,’ said Tom. ‘Did I? Yeah, I guess so.’
Fliss packed her script in her bag so that no one could see how upset she was. When had Samantha seen Tom yesterday? There hadn’t been a rehearsal. Were they going out? No one had told her they were dating – but then I’m invisible, aren’t I? she thought to herself. Off-stage, I’m just timid little Fliss who wouldn’t say boo to a goose.
Samantha said impatiently, ‘Come on then, Tom. If you’re coming.’
‘Yeah,’ said Tom. He shot a curious glance at Fliss, but she didn’t notice. ‘OK.’
When the door had banged behind Samantha and Tom, Candy turned to Fliss. She hesitated. ‘Is everything OK, Fliss?’
‘What do you mean?’
Candy shook her head. ‘I don’t know. You tell me. When I auditioned you – and just now, in the scene – you were brilliant. You really get lost in the part. You become Juliet. But sometimes, like earlier – I don’t know, it’s as though I’m watching a different person. You seem much less sure of yourself, almost awkward. Is there something putting you off?’
Fliss flushed. ‘No.’
Candy looked at her closely. ‘Is it Tom?’
‘No!’
Candy laughed. ‘Right. OK, it’s not Tom. Is it Samantha, by any chance?’
Fliss looked down at her shoes.
‘I know it must be a bit difficult for you,’ said Candy. ‘Samantha wanting to play Juliet, and all that. But she’s got lots of good ideas. I wouldn’t have asked her to be assistant director if I didn’t think she could do it. Give her a chance.’
Fliss nodded. I did, she thought to herself. I did give her a chance. And look what ha
ppened! She told me to act a certain way and then lied about it!
‘OK, Fliss?’ said Candy.
‘OK,’ said Fliss.
Chapter 6
that’s what mothers are for
‘YOU’RE VERY QUIET this evening,’ said Jeanette as they sat on the sofa watching the TV. ‘Even quieter than usual, I mean.’
‘I’m OK,’ said Fliss. She took a spoonful of pasta from the bowl on her lap. ‘Just a bit tired, that’s all.’
‘It’s all this rehearsing,’ said Jeanette, her eyes flicking back to the TV. ‘That’s what happens when you get a main part. I should have a word with that Candy woman.’
‘No!’ Fliss looked up, alarmed. ‘No, don’t. Everything’s fine – I’ll get an early night. Maybe it’s too much sun. It’s not the rehearsals.’
‘I suppose you’re having to do all sorts of lovey-dovey stuff on stage,’ said Jeanette. ‘Who’s that boy again? The one playing Romeo?’
‘Tom Mayerling.’ Fliss tried to ignore the tiny pang she got when she said his name.
‘Tom Mayerling,’ repeated Jeanette. ‘Is he new?’
‘Yes. Just joined.’
‘What’s he like?’ asked Jeanette.
Fliss shrugged, trying to keep her voice casual. ‘He’s all right.’
Jeanette laughed. ‘Nice try, Fliss. You’ve gone beetroot. Even if you were a better liar your face would give you away. Got a bit of a crush on him, have you?’ Fliss bit her lip. Jeanette softened. ‘It’s all right, sweetheart. You are allowed to fancy boys, you know. It’s part of growing up. Just as long as fancying is all you do.’ She looked serious for a moment. ‘You’re so quiet, Felicity. I never know what you’re thinking – or even what you’re doing, I suppose.’ She leaned forward for the remote control and switched off the TV. Then she twisted in her chair to face her daughter. ‘You do know you can talk to me, don’t you?’
‘Mum . . .’
‘I mean about boys and things like that. I know you probably think I’m old and have forgotten what it’s like.’ Jeanette’s voice wobbled for a moment and she cleared her throat. ‘I’m only thirty-four. And I can remember what it’s like to be a teenager in love. Me and your dad . . . well, it was a long time ago now, but I fell in love with him when I was about your age, I suppose.’
