by Aiden Bates
"That makes perfect sense." Allen grinned. "And it's not an issue for me. I'm expecting that we'll have to go on dates, once or twice a week. We need to be seen in public with each other, under affectionate circumstances. That will hopefully satisfy the authorities. My guess is that we will need to visit at one another's homes as well. What we do at our homes is our own business, if we keep the blinds down."
Brantley shuddered. "I'm sorry. I'm not arguing with you. All of that makes sense, in my head. It's going to be hard for me. I'm so used to having to hide, I don't know if I'll be able to pull that off." He stiffened. "But if we can limit it to a couple of times per week, and maybe just visit at one another's house the rest of the time, it should be doable, right?"
Allen frowned, but didn't say anything. It wasn't like he expected this whole arrangement to lead to anything. He didn't have a right to get upset that Brantley didn't want more than a couple of dates per week with him. They were adults anyway, health care professionals in their thirties. They didn't have time or energy to fawn all over one another all of the time. Even real couples didn't do that once they weren't hormonal teenagers anymore. "Of course. And then once ICE is off your back, we go our separate ways."
"Of course." Brantley bowed his head, a little smile playing around his lips.
"If my family has any events that would require a date, you'd have to come with me, of course. That will go a long way toward proving your ties to the area." Allen straightened his back. Brantley wasn't here for his ego. He was here to save himself, and Allen needed to remember that.
"Family!" Brantley's eyes looked a little wild. "Oh Lord. I hadn't thought about that."
Allen fought a smirk, unsuccessfully. "We're a pretty close-knit family. My parents still live in the area, along with my sister, her husband, and their kids. We see a lot of one another. You don't have to hang out with them all the time if you don't want to, but they're around and you do need to show up once in a while."
"Of course." Brantley managed to smile. "It will go a long way toward convincing Immigration we're really a couple." He rubbed his arm. "When should our first date be?"
"How's Friday?" Allen pulled the day out of his head from nowhere. "It's a couple of days from now, so we can mentally prepare for it." A little part of his mind screamed at him. He shouldn't have to mentally prepare for a date, for crying out loud. If he liked a guy, he should be able to just look forward to a date. He shouldn't have to psych himself up for it like some kind of major trial.
"Sounds good." Brantley put the date in his calendar and sent Allen an invite. He sent Allen an actual calendar invite to a date, and Allen wondered if he was going to survive this "relationship" with his psyche intact.
Then he accepted the invite. "All right. I'll see you Friday." He stood up. "I'll talk to you later. I want to go hit up the NICU before I head home."
Brantley lifted his thick eyebrows. "Oh?"
"Yeah. That patient's baby is down there. Cutest little thing, a thick head of hair and everything. I'm going to go look in on her."
"Oh. Have fun." Brantley gave a thin little smile and waved.
Would it be appropriate to give Brantley a little kiss or hug? He didn't seem open to that kind of thing right now. Besides, even though they'd supposedly been together for months, Allen had only just met him today. He wasn't comfortable with that kind of overt display, and there wasn't anything he was going to be able to do about it.
He headed down to the NICU, where the nurses knew him well enough. "Hey, Allen!" Lisa, the head nurse for this shift gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How are you holding up?"
For one brief, insane moment, Allen thought about telling her the truth. Then he remembered himself. "Oh, you know how it is. I came down to check up on Baby Doe. How's she doing?"
"You mean Alaina?" Lisa winked at him.
"You're kidding." Allen ducked his head. His cheeks burned.
"We had to call her something. If there are parents who just haven't come up with a name, we'll let it slide. But we're not going to just let her join the world with no family and no name." She thrust her chin out.
"Hey. Not going to argue with you." He held up his hands. He kind of wished they called her something else, but he hadn't been consulted. "How's she doing? She seemed to be in rough shape, and you already know we lost her mom."
Lisa bowed her head. "Yeah. We do. Um, she's been diagnosed with NAS. She's definitely premature, and she's got some complications from that which we're going to have to fight. That said, she's definitely a fighter. She's taking a little food, she's got a good cry, and she waves her little hands around. You want to hold her, maybe give her some kangaroo time?"
Allen nodded. "Can I?"
"What do you mean, can you?" She gave him a playful swat on the arm. "Of course you can. Go get a robe, you giant goofball. You're one of the best caregivers we have."
Allen blushed and went into a changing room to put on a robe. Allen had been volunteering for kangaroo care since Silver Oak accepted volunteers to do it. All he had to do was to sit in a chair in the NICU and cuddle newborns, particularly preemies, against his skin. Skin to skin contact was shown to help all newborns have better outcomes, but it was especially beneficial to preemies. For whatever reason, their tiny bodies responded best when they could have that touch.
Allen had always wanted children of his own. As he'd passed into his thirties without any sign or hope of a long-term partner, that dream got farther out of his reach. This was as close as he'd ever get, and Allen was determined to enjoy every minute of it.
He settled himself into a comfortable chair and waited for Lisa to bring Baby Alaina to him. The poor little creature was still very red, and she needed a nasal tube to help her breathe. She opened her little eyes, though, and looked up at him when Lisa put her into his arms.
She had been fussing, just a little, but now she squirmed down and settled into the space right on top of his collarbone. He could feel her tiny heart beating against his chest, and he offered her his finger. She wrapped her little hand around it, and she snuggled down and went to sleep just like that.
Her grip surprised him. She was tiny, small enough that her survival wasn't a guarantee. If she did survive, she'd have to be weaned off of heroin and whatever else her mother might have been using, with methadone. She'd been given a bad hand in life from the start, but that strong grip met that challenge head on. I'm here to stay, it declared.
He kissed her little red forehead. "You are here to stay, aren't you?" he murmured. "Look at you fighting, hm? Well, you don't have to fight alone. I'm right here, and I'm going to fight with you. Every step of the way, right?"
Lisa watched him and smiled. "You're good with all our babies, but this one's really caught your heart, hasn't she?"
"How could she not?" Allen grinned up at her. "I mean look at her, Lisa. How can you not just want to hold on and keep her safe from every bad thing in the world?"
"Are you still a licensed foster dad?"
Allen blinked in surprise. "Yeah, actually. I am. You don't think…"
"I think it's going to be a while before it becomes an issue." Lisa grimaced and looked over at the incubator. "But it's going to be a lot easier if she has a foster parent who can give consent for procedures and whatnot. And if no family ever claims her, there's no reason she shouldn't have family anyway." She stroked Alaina's face with one finger. "She deserves a fighting chance."
Allen flushed with the implied praise. He could see himself with Alaina. It wouldn't be easy. The baby had a long and difficult road ahead of her, but Allen knew what to expect and could give her everything she needed.
"Yeah. Yeah, I can at least foster her until family's found. She should have someone covering her needs." He kissed her forehead.
Then he remembered Brantley, and his situation. Well, Alaina needed help too. There wasn't any reason he couldn't help them both. "Can you do me a favor?" he asked Lisa. "Can you get a picture of me and Alaina? And then
maybe one of just Alaina, with my phone?"
***
Brantley got the picture of Allen with the baby later on that evening, as he sat in his townhouse and wondered what the best way to dispose of everything on short notice would be. He smiled when he got it. He'd have had to be some kind of monster to not have his heart melt, just a little bit, when he saw an attractive man holding a cute little baby next to his bare skin.
Brantley wasn't a monster.
He didn't know the baby, but he didn't have to. He was a doctor. He could see the poor little creature was premature, just by looking at her. He could see, too, that the baby was in a bad way. She needed help to breathe, for crying out loud. Still, she was holding onto Allen for all she was worth and he looked positively high as he held her.
Allen would make a great dad someday.
It wasn't for Brantley to wonder why Allen wasn't a dad already. Maybe he wasn't an omega, and would need some kind of external help. Maybe it just hadn't worked out with anyone. Brantley certainly wasn't in a position to cast stones on that account. Whatever the reasons, whenever it did happen, Allen would be good at it.
Brantley could wonder, for a moment, what it might be like to be a father himself. That wasn't going to be an issue for him, though. He had no business bringing a child into the world when he didn't know which country he'd be in six months from now, or whether or not he'd be alive nine months from now. And there was no one in America who would put up with all of his little foibles around secrecy and hiding long enough to settle down and start a family.
Oh well.
He got through the next day at work and tried to pretend nothing was happening. His patients didn't need to know his life was walking a knife edge. He remembered to send Allen a picture, but he couldn't make himself do one of himself. Instead, he stopped by the Rand Tract on his way back to the house that night and got a shot of a deer grazing by the side of the road. Allen would like that, maybe.
Brantley wasn't in a position to know what Allen liked. Allen was a mystery, a local by his accent who could just volunteer to play boyfriend for a stranger and cuddle random babies in his spare time. He was a man who cried when homeless women died, even when he didn't know their names.
On the surface of it all, Brantley could probably love a man like that.
Love was dangerous, though. Love was dangerous right now, because they could be torn apart at any minute. Love was dangerous at any time, and Brantley had only known the man for a day. It was best not to think about that sort of thing. It was best to focus on getting through what was happening now, as best he could.
Friday arrived, and with it the dreaded date. They went their separate ways after work, because no one looks good in scrubs, and Brantley agreed to pick Allen up at seven at his condo in East Syracuse. Brantley was more comfortable with that than the other way around. He could pretend he was more in control if he was the one driving. He wasn't usually the control freak type, but when his life was on the line, all bets were off.
Allen had changed into well-fitting jeans and a nice shirt. Scrubs did Allen no favors, but these jeans flattered that small, round ass of his just perfectly. Brantley had to remind himself not to stare. This wasn't a real date. It wouldn't be right for Brantley to start catching feelings now. This was just for show, and Brantley's life depended on both of them keeping focused.
He stepped into the condo. It was okay, as condos went. Allen hadn't hired a decorator, that much was obvious. The furniture was mismatched and had clearly been chosen for comfort over style. A Golden Retriever jumped off the couch and trotted up to sniff at Brantley before returning to the couch.
"Meet Sadie, the world's laziest Golden Retriever." Allen scratched the dog's head.
Brantley tried to hide his distaste. He'd never been a big fan of dogs, and certainly not a fan of dogs on the furniture. He guessed he didn't have to be. "She seems very comfortable."
"Well, she should be. She's a rescue. After what she went through before, I want her to be as comfortable as she can for the rest of her life. Can I get you a beer, or do you just want to get going?"
Brantley eyed Sadie. Sadie grinned up at him.
"Why don't we just head out? We can have a beer later, I suppose."
Allen huffed out a little laugh, but he followed Brantley out to the car.
They went to a chain restaurant for dinner. Brantley wasn't a huge fan of chain restaurants, and neither was Allen as it turned out. The place was close, and it was easy. As time went on and they got more used to one another, they'd find more interesting places to go.
Brantley just couldn't relax. They sat in the booth, and he guessed the booth was comfortable enough, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everyone was staring at them. Brantley was the only black man in the restaurant, or at least the only one he could see in the dining room. He had no idea who was in the kitchen. He couldn't miss the dirty looks. Was it because he was with another man, or because he was with a white person, or both? Would they confine themselves to dirty looks, or would they decide to act on things?
A warm hand landed on his, and Brantley jumped and recoiled.
Allen pulled his hand back. He didn't even try to hide the hurt on his face. "Relax," he hissed. "If you act like everyone here is going to shoot you, you're going to attract the wrong kind of attention. We're supposed to be visible."
For a moment, just a few seconds, Brantley hated Allen. Allen had no idea what it was like. Allen had never been the target of racism. And sure, homophobia was a thing in the US, but the kind of violent attacks that had caused Brantley's flight from Jamaica were a thing of the past as far as Allen was concerned. Allen had no business telling Brantley to relax when he would never understand what it was to fear like this.
Brantley bit down on the inside of his cheek. Allen didn't deserve that kind of resentment. He wasn't here, and doing this, for his own benefit. Allen was here to help Brantley. "I'm sorry," he said, from behind gritted teeth. "Being out in the open like this is new for me."
Allen's smile only looked forced. He picked up his water and sipped from it. "Okay. Well, we'll work with that. Try to think of it as playing a role, like on TV, instead of being yourself."
Brantley's gut twisted, but he tried to force his brain into the right mindset. Maybe he could do that, after all. "So," he said after a moment. "Tell me about the baby whose picture you sent."
"Alaina." Allen's eyes looked far away, and his whole face relaxed into a dreamy smile. "The nurses named her that. The patient I lost, the day we met—she’s her daughter. I've been declared her guardian until her family can be found, since I'm a licensed emergency foster parent. This way someone can make decisions about her care, and she's got someone who's there for her. That's me." He shrugged. "It's not the first time I've stepped in. I won't pretend I'm not a little bit in love with her, though."
Brantley grinned. "You looked like it, in that picture. What does Sadie think?" He sat back in his seat and tried not to fret, or to think too much about how beautiful Allen was when that dreamy look came over him. "She doesn't seem like the type to share."
"Well, Sadie's not allowed on the NICU. There's a time and a place for service dogs, but places with strict medical sanitation requirements aren't on that list. I think she'll be good with Alaina if it comes to that." Allen shifted a little. "Tell me about that deer pic, though. You took that with your phone?" He shook his head. "That's incredible."
Brantley let Allen lull him into small talk for a little while. It wasn't hard. Allen could do small talk all day, it seemed. He had a true gift for putting people at ease. It was probably useful, given his job. Little by little, the date lost some of its awkwardness.
Of course, it couldn't lose all of its awkwardness. No matter what the ruse, they were still two strangers on a first date. Brantley's relationships were limited to furtive meetings with people who didn't mind such clandestine unions (until they did), but even he knew that first dates were always awkward. And because ever
y first date had to be as awkward as possible, in order to satisfy one of the laws of physics, just as Brantley was starting to relax, his personal nemesis sauntered up to their table with a big grin.
"Why if it isn't Dr. Brantley Powell." ICE Agent Frank Gottlieb appeared out of nowhere and leaned onto their table, knuckles against the fake wood, and leered. "Shouldn't you be packing for your trip home?"
Gottlieb wasn't a tall man. He stood about five foot seven, with olive skin and a hairline that had been pushed into recession by the ridiculous cowboy hat he typically wore. The hat had been left someplace else today, probably in his car, if Brantley knew him at all. Allen looked him up and down with those bottle green eyes of his and sat up a little straighter.
Allen was a tall man. Allen was taller than Brantley, and that height probably intimidated a lot of people. It didn't intimidate Gottlieb.
