by Aiden Bates
And how did Allen feel about Brantley, anyway? Was Brantley just another Alaina to him, someone to be helped? Did he feel anything more for Brantley?
He shook his head. Brantley should probably sort out how he felt about Allen before he worried about Allen's feelings for him.
He waited until he heard a car leave before heading downstairs. He had to hope it was Luke. He didn't have a problem with Luke. Luke was a nice guy. He just didn't feel up to faking things right now. When he got downstairs, he found his hopes fulfilled in the form of Carter Idoni sprawled on the couch while Allen sat in the chair, feeding Alaina.
The sight of Allen feeding that baby made Brantley stop in his tracks. Nothing could be so beautiful. That little smile on his handsome face was too much to be believed.
Idoni caught him staring and grinned. "Nothing quite like it, right? When she was born, we weren't sure she could be saved. She was born too early, and apparently her mother had tried to wean herself off of drugs while she was pregnant. It was a good impulse, but probably helped to seal her fate and didn't do her baby any good either. This little one, though. She made it."
Brantley sat on the couch as Allen put the bottle down. "She's fully recovered?"
"She's physically well. We'll have to see what happens, in terms of her development. There are some conditions that are more likely with babies born with addictions, but some long-term studies don't show much difference between those babies when they grow up in drug-free homes and babies born to mothers who aren't dealing with addiction. So we'll have to see what happens." Allen stroked Alaina's face and put her up against his shoulder to be burped.
Once that was done, he looked over at Brantley for a long moment. "Do you want to hold her for a moment?"
Brantley shook his head and rounded his shoulders. "That's okay. I'm all set."
"Right." Allen looked away. "Sorry. I should've known better."
"It's not that." Brantley hated how disappointed Allen looked right now. "I mean no, I don't know how to hold a baby. I did it once in medical school and haven't tried since. That's not why, though." He squirmed. "I don't want to get attached." He examined a spot on the carpet. "You know, in case."
"In case this whole thing doesn't work." Idoni put a hand on his shoulder. "You're worried about getting sent back."
"Of course I am." Brantley looked up and faced Idoni. "That's why we're all here, right? That whole death thing kind of casts a pall over my day, if you know what I mean."
Allen snickered. "I see what you mean." He sobered up quickly. "Look, Brantley. I'm scared too. You've got good reason to be afraid. And yeah, it's kind of hard to relax and enjoy life when you're afraid for your life. I can't exactly relate but I can sympathize. There are two things to remember here."
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Brantley pressed his lips together.
Allen held one finger up. "One is that she's here, whether or not you let yourself enjoy having her around. Even if the worst happens—and yes, I think it would be the worst, not just because I'm worried about what would happen to me but because I don't want you to be deported—you're still going to have to remember her. Do you want to remember a little ball of screaming rage that occasionally smelled bad, or do you want to remember a little person who liked to cuddle and made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and still occasionally smelled bad and sometimes cried?"
Brantley ducked his head. If only the human psyche worked so simply!
Idoni chuckled. "You've got such a way with words, Allen. You should've been a Hallmark card writer."
"What, and miss out on those sexy scrubs? Not a chance." Allen wrinkled his nose at Idoni, adorably, and held up a second finger. "The second thing you need to remember is that you holding her once in a while, in public, and showing her affection will help make it look like you're taking a role in her life. As in, proving we're a real couple."
Brantley couldn't help but shudder. "You'd use her for that?"
Allen stiffened. His lip curled. "That's not why I brought her home. That's not even close to why I brought her home, and if you choose not to interact with her I'll happily respect your wishes. I was pointing out an advantage to making a different choice. Forget I said anything. I'd hate to taint you with our little family."
Brantley slumped. "Allen, that's not what I meant. I just don't want to use your daughter that way."
"Then don't." Allen's jaw tightened. "She needs a change. Excuse me." He rose to his feet and carried Alaina up to her room.
Idoni turned to Brantley and tilted his head. "Trouble in paradise?"
Brantley bit the inside of his cheek. "I don't want to say anything against him. He's being very kind to let me stay with him."
"Living with someone is always a challenge, Dr. Powell. Two people can love each other more than oxygen and not be able to live together. Know what breaks people up faster than squabbles about toothpaste?"
Brantley rubbed at his eyes. All of the energy had been sucked out of the room when Allen left. "I suppose you'll tell me."
"Kids." Idoni raised an eyebrow. "They're awesome, I love them, but they change the dynamic in a couple."
Brantley could see that. "Then maybe Allen shouldn't have adopted one while we were in the middle of this whole thing." He waved a hand at the window to indicate the ICE agents staking them out.
"Hm. Sure. Maybe. He'd have been one of the first people we contacted as a foster for Alaina anyway, so how about if we write that off as not entirely an option and move on from there?" Idoni gave Brantley a thin smile, and Brantley knew he'd screwed up. "What is it you want from Allen, Dr. Powell?"
"I—" Brantley cut himself off. "I don't have a right to ask anything of him. He's already put himself out there enough for me. He's put himself at risk, put his freedom at risk."
"He has. He's a good man. He likes to be helpful. What is it you want from him?" Idoni leaned back. His dark, piercing eyes bored into Brantley's. "Do you like him?"
"Of course I like him." Brantley stood up, but he kept his voice down. "What's not to like?"
"If we found out today that you were free, that the deportation order was reversed, would you stay with him or would you walk away?"
"I don't know." Brantley bowed his head. "I think I'd want to try. I've liked living with him, actually."
"You might want to tell him that." Idoni stood up. "I've known him for a long time. It's hard to get through your fears and live your life. Your fears are real, Dr. Powell. I'm not trying to minimize them. I just want to make sure you don't push away everything you're fighting to stay for." He headed toward the stairs. "I'm going to see if he needs a hand."
Brantley didn't see Allen for the rest of the night. He heard Alaina cry a few times, but Allen got her quieted down pretty quickly. It did occur to Brantley that if he'd gotten a lesson on how to take care of her, he could have helped out with that. He could have supported Allen and helped him get some sleep.
Instead, he slunk out to work in the morning without a word.
He didn't have much time to dwell on all of the things he could have done differently with Alaina and Allen. He had an appointment that day. At two o'clock, Rohan Gupta and Frank Gottlieb walked into his office and made themselves comfortable.
Rohan Gupta turned out to be a tall, stunningly beautiful Indian man with a thin, perfectly groomed beard. He was warm and affable with Brantley, but he cooled considerably when Gottlieb walked in. "Agent," he said, with a barely noticeable curl of his lip. "I understand that you and your associate hectored my client here into moving in with his boyfriend of only three months?"
Gottlieb sneered. "No one hectored anyone into anything. We just pointed out that a real couple would have done it by then. There's no law against talking to them, Gupta."
"Actually, there is. You don't get to talk to my client, or his partner, without an attorney present. Specifically, me. Now then." He smiled a shark-like smile and turned to Brantley. "As I understand it, this is a simple check-in interview whil
e the appeals process proceeds."
"It is." Gottlieb gave a little toss of his head and pulled out a digital recorder. "This is a check-in interview pursuant to deportation of Dr. Brantley Powell whose bid for asylum was denied due to false claims about his orientation as well as inaccurate claims of persecution in his home country."
Gupta held up a hand. "My client has documented his own experiences in his birth country extensively, both on his original claim for asylum and in pursuit of this appeal. In addition, proof of persecution of homosexual men in his country has been submitted to the State Department and the Department of Justice and is acknowledged by the United Nations Commission on Human Rights.
"Furthermore," he continued, "my client's experience of persecution makes it difficult for him to demonstrate his affections in public. Since being told he wasn't 'gay enough' to be an American, he and his partner have become more open about their relationship. They have moved in together, following your office's inappropriate suggestions, which I advised against. Mr. Frye has moved to adopt a foster child."
"Mmm-hmm. And why would he need to adopt if they were actually having sexual relations?" Gottlieb folded his hands on top of his file, a smug smile crossing his face. "They're faking that whole relationship. That's obstruction of justice, which is a felony. Just so you know."
Gupta turned his head over to face Brantley. He said nothing, just arched his eyebrow.
Brantley's palms broke out in sweat, but he didn't show it. He couldn't. He wasn't just protecting himself here, not anymore. He had to protect Allen and Alaina. "You seriously followed us around Brew At The Zoo and thought we were faking it?" He made himself snort. "I feel sorry for your wife, Agent."
Gupta's eyes widened. He didn't do anything so unprofessional as to laugh or anything like that, but his dark eyes twinkled merrily.
Gottlieb did not laugh. "My personal life is not in question. Yours is." He stabbed into the hard desktop with a stubby finger. "You might just be a very good actor."
"They wouldn't even let me be a background actor in the school play in grade school." Brantley wasn't lying. He hadn't learned, yet, how to hide parts of himself. That had come later, only with puberty. "Try again."
Gupta shook his head. "Agent, I'm sure there are some people out there who falsify their asylum claims, but my client isn't one of them. The purpose of this meeting is not to have a ‘gotcha’ moment. It's to check in and ensure that the individual is where he says he is, and isn't trying to hide. You can see that Dr. Powell is here, he's not trying to hide. He's continuing to perform his duties as expected."
"A job that could have gone to an American." Gottlieb snorted. "And a place in med school that should have gone to an American."
Gupta rolled his magnificent brown eyes. "As far as Dr. Powell was concerned, he was an American at that point. And now that you've made that statement in front of witnesses, you do understand I will be filing a formal complaint with your supervisor."
"Good luck with that." Gottlieb gave him the thumbs up. "It'll get added to the pile. In the meantime, this freeloader will be on his way back to wherever and I'll be on to the next case."
Gupta narrowed his eyes. "We'll see about that. In the meantime, this check-in interview has served its purpose. I suspect I can escort you out now." He rose and fixed Gottlieb with those eyes of his.
Gottlieb stalked over to the door. Gupta met Brantley's eyes before following. He would call Brantley later.
Brantley slumped once the two men left. His limbs trembled, all of them. How was he supposed to survive the rest of this process? Gottlieb had just let something slip, something important. He didn't just hate Brantley because he was gay, or because he was Jamaican.
He hated immigrants.
There was no way he was going to drop the charges against Brantley. This case—Brantley's entire life—was going to have to go to trial.
Chapter Nine
Allen had fostered other children, and he'd fostered other babies. He'd even fostered other newborns, so he was prepared for the grueling feeding cycle and the diaper changes. He wasn't prepared for his own emotional reactions where Alaina was concerned. He'd loved all of his fosters. He'd have taken a bullet for any of them.
If someone had tried to come between him and Alaina, he'd have given a bullet, and Allen wasn't a violent guy.
He had a hard time putting her down, even to do basic things like wash or use the bathroom. If Brantley had much interest in her, maybe it would have been different. Maybe it would have been easier for him to step back and say, "Can you hold onto her for a little while so I can take a shower?"
He still showered, but he put her in her bassinette and let her cry it out. Sometimes he even cried along with her.
His mother called on Friday, waking both him and Alaina from a nap. Alaina squalled, but settled quickly and Allen called his mother back.
"Allen! It's your mother." Isabel Frye always began phone conversations that way, regardless of who had called whom. Allen had long since given up on trying to change it. "I hope this isn't a bad time. I know you just brought that darling little girl home."
Allen smiled. He'd known there would be gossip, and of course the kids would have said something to their grandma anyway. "I did. Brought her home on Wednesday night, in fact. She's settling in nicely. She's so perfect, Mom. You should see her. She's just perfect."
"I'll bet she is. She's had your heart in her tiny little hand since the day she was born, hasn't she?" Mom's voice was all sugar and indulgence. "Listen, I know she's little yet, but we all want to meet her. And, you know, that new boyfriend of yours."
Allen froze. He couldn't help it. He was like a deer caught in headlights. "Yeah. You know what? That's a great idea," he said, when he found his voice again. "It's a great idea. Fantastic, actually. I should have brought him by before this."
"Of course you should have." Mom sniffed. "But you'll bring him over on Sunday and we'll all get a chance to meet him, and it will be fine. Won't it?"
"Of course it will." Allen's mom couldn't see his wince. He was going to have to find a way to finesse this. It wasn't going to be easy, especially not with the way they'd been walking on eggshells around one another.
Allen had been mostly hiding out in his room, when he wasn't outside with Sadie and Alaina. Today he made sure he waited for his erstwhile boyfriend on the couch for when he got home from work. Part of him resented this. His stomach shouldn't be tied up in knots about this, for crying out loud. The rest of him was happy to just get out of the bedroom.
Brantley looked shocked to see him on the couch. "What's wrong?" he asked, stopping in the doorway. "What's happened?"
Allen tried not to make a face. He didn't want to make things worse. "I've heard from my mother. She and my dad want to meet Alaina on Sunday."
Brantley's entire posture loosened. "Of course they do. She's going to be their granddaughter. Why wouldn't they?"
Alaina waved her little fist at Brantley. She didn't mean anything by it. She didn't have any control over her movements yet. Still, the gesture made Allen laugh. It echoed his sentiments so perfectly. "They want to meet you, too."
Brantley looked like he was choking. His eyes bulged, and he clutched at his flat stomach. "That's not such a great idea."
Allen didn't know why the outright rejection hurt so much. He already knew how Brantley felt. "Think about this carefully, Brantley. These are my extremely active and involved parents. I understand that you don't intend to stick around once the ICE thing is over and done with, but they don't know that. It's going to stand out in their minds as odd behavior if the man who is dating their son, and living with their son, refuses to meet with them."
Brantley closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's a knee-jerk reaction. I shouldn't be so quick to say no. I'm just not used to being able to meet a date's parents. That's all." He opened his eyes and reached out toward Allen. "It's got nothing to do with you, Alaina, or the future."
Allen's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't trust Brantley's words. Could he? No, of course not. That didn't mean he had to be a jerk about it, though. He forced a little smile onto his face. "All right. Something they're going to expect to see is you holding Alaina. You don't have to be all that good at it," he added. This time his grin was more genuine. "I won't even be lying when I tell them I'm feeling pretty territorial about her."
Brantley winced, but then he shrugged out of his blazer. "All right. Let's do this." He rolled his shoulders and sat down gingerly by Allen's side. "How does this work, anyway?"
"Okay. The most important thing is that you support her head and neck. Hold out your arm, just a little bit." He adjusted Brantley's arm. "Awesome. Now here we go." Allen carefully laid his daughter into Brantley's arm. "Good. Now use your other arm to cradle—perfect. See? You've got this!"
