by Aiden Bates
Brantley bought himself some time by taking a bite of his sandwich. "I've settled in, I think. Which is both good and bad. I'm not sure what happens next. Assume that ICE accepts that I'm gay. What then? There's this amazing, generous, openhearted man in my life. What am I supposed to do when there isn't anything left anymore to hold us together?"
Idoni watched him for a moment, eyes narrowed. "Why do you think there isn't anything to hold you together?"
"We agreed this was just going to last until ICE went away. We don't…" He sighed. "I'm making myself be public about things, and do the touching thing in public, but it's still uncomfortable for me. He'd expect that, and if we tried to be lovers for real, I don't know if I could do that. I still expect to see some guy with a machete or something behind the rhododendrons, you know?"
Idoni cringed. "Okay then. I've seen Allen through a relationship or two, and I can tell you that he's never been all that clingy in public. But maybe that's a discussion the two of you need to have." He cleared his throat. "What is it that you actually want, Dr. Powell?"
"I don't know." Brantley looked down. "I want to not go back to Jamaica, first and foremost. Assuming that's taken care of? Well, I probably won't die without him." He toyed with his sandwich. "I think… I mean I care about him. I want him to be happy. I want to see him thrive. I like to hold him in my arms, and I like it when I forget that we're pretending."
Idoni choked. "Please tell me you're not implying what I think you're implying."
Brantley tilted his head to the side. "We're consenting adults, Doctor."
Idoni cradled his head in his hands for a long, tense moment. Brantley pushed his tray away. The pit in his stomach didn't leave room for more food. Why would it be a bad thing for him and Allen to have made love? Did Allen have some sort of infection he hadn't disclosed to Brantley?
Idoni lifted his head. "It's technically not my place to say this. Allen's my best friend, but he's also an adult and if he didn't tell you, I'm sure there's a reason. That said, it's a little hard for you to understand exactly where he's coming from. He's never had a lot of self-esteem. He comes from a great family, it's not because they didn't give him enough hugs or anything, but that's just… you know. It's him."
"Okay." Brantley laced his fingers together. "I'm with you so far. I mean a crab could see that about him, sometimes, but whatever."
"So there've been a few guys who've used that to manipulate him, here and there. I don't know why he attracts that kind of guy, and neither does he. Making it sexual is just going to hurt him in the end." Idoni bowed his head. "I don't want to say more than I should, but a guy with an open heart like his just gets attached too easily. That's just the way he is, you know?"
"Is it really a bad thing if he gets attached?" Brantley put his hands on the table. "He could be happy."
Idoni flattened his mouth out for a moment. "Are you ready to be the one that makes him happy?"
"I don't know! I don't know if I'd be ready, or if I'd even know how." Brantley rubbed at his temples. "How much is he even just putting up with, because we have to be together for now, and how much is he just plain happy with? I can't tell. You're the only one of his friends who could answer that question for me, because you're the only one that knows the truth."
"Well, Finn knows the truth, but Allen still kind of wants to eat his liver, so." Idoni smirked. "And Allen hasn't been confiding much, in anyone. I think he's trying to get used to keeping secrets, if that makes sense. I want to go talk to him, but before I do, I wanted to get a chance to talk to you."
"I'm worried about him." Brantley looked down again. "He's been subdued this week. I don't know why. I asked him," he said, when he heard Idoni's sudden intake of breath. "I did. He just said the interview with ICE took a lot out of him. I don't know if maybe you could talk to him?"
Idoni nodded and looked over toward the door. "Yeah. I'll do that. I feel bad too, you know."
"Why?"
"When I got this promotion, my responsibilities changed. And I got married, too. I haven't been around as much, and of course Luke hasn't been around as much because he just got married. It's got to be hard on him. I haven't been reaching out as much because I've been busy, and I feel like I've been neglecting him." He picked his head up, and gave a pained-looking grin. "I'll talk to him, if you'll agree to hang out with Alaina for an evening."
"That won't be a problem." Brantley didn't have to think about it. "She's such a little ray of sunshine, I can't see how anyone would have a problem with her."
"Thanks for talking with me. I have a plan of attack now." Idoni stood up and checked his watch. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go explain to my charming husband for the thirty-seventh time that we can't put a hiring freeze on phlebotomists."
Brantley watched Idoni leave, thoughts echoing in his head. Should he really not have made love to Allen? He couldn't believe that. They'd needed the evidence—
No. Maybe the need for evidence had given him the nudge, but he'd wanted Allen since they'd kissed that first time. The evidence was just an excuse. And now that they'd made love, and transitioned to one bed, their life together had changed for the better. He wouldn't want to change it back, not now or ever.
But would the chemistry they had now still be there without the threat of ICE? He hadn't been kidding when he asked Idoni that question. For his own part, Brantley could say "yes" without hesitation. He was less sure about Allen. After all, he had a family, friends, a child, a dog. He didn't need the complication of a long-term partner.
He needed to be a grown-up and talk to Allen about it. By the time he got home, though, Allen wasn't in the mood to talk much. He was tired again, and not feeling terribly well. Brantley just smiled and tucked Allen into bed. They'd gone all this time without having the talk. They could go for another few nights.
Chapter Twelve
Allen wouldn't have gotten out of bed if there weren't a crying infant to take care of. His whole body seemed to be running on empty lately. He made himself get up and put one foot in front of the other, but he barely got three quarters of his regular run done in his usual time and what was more, he barely cared.
That wasn't like him, and he knew it. Okay, so the lawyer's comment about not having to fake it had thrown him for a loop. So what? That didn't mean he had to spend his time moping around the house, or literally dragging his feet down the old towpath. There had to be some underlying cause.
There were a few possibilities. He might be getting anemic. If he were getting to be anemic, he would have probably done so back when he was eating out or eating frozen food every night, instead of when he was eating fresh and healthy food planned by someone obsessed with cancer, but hey. Sometimes things caught up with a person.
He could be developing a thyroid problem. He would probably see some kind of weight gain associated with that, but maybe that would come later.
It could be some sort of virus he'd picked up, or a sinus infection. It could be a heart arrhythmia. It could be mono, or a problem with his kidneys. There was a laundry list of problems and disorders that included "fatigue" as a symptom, although some were more probable than others.
He could be pregnant. Wouldn't that be hilarious? He could be pregnant, by a guy who was just using him to stay in the country?
By a guy who Allen loved anyway?
Whatever. He didn't have time for that. He refused to believe that he would have gotten pregnant the first time he'd had sex in a year, even if they'd forgone use of a condom in favor of getting better samples for the sheets. It would just be too absurd. He knew, in theory, it could happen, but it would be too absurd. Too much like a Greek tragedy. Or comedy.
At least he wasn't so bad off that he couldn't, physically, take care of Alaina and Sadie. He could do his job, too. Maybe it was just the normal fatigue of taking care of a small child, catching up with him. That probably had a lot to do with it.
He listened to his body and let Brantley help out, whenever he offered. B
rantley was not a resource on which Allen was going to be able to depend forever. He might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
State Fair season was just a couple of weeks away, which brought all sorts of people into the area. That affected the emergency department most of all, of course. They got all of the injuries and all of the bad potato salad cases. People traveled with pregnant relatives, too, so Allen got patients from all over the state and all over the country through his delivery rooms.
He delivered babies for two male carnival workers, and three female, before the fair was even ready to open. Most of them were worried about judgment. They were defensive about their lifestyle, about their backgrounds, about a lot of things. Outside the hospital, they might be more proud than defensive, but in a fraught situation surrounded by strangers, Allen didn't blame them for getting twitchy. He just did his best to help out and make things as easy on them as he could.
He knew he wasn't even getting the worst of it. Carter had spoken to Allen's boss and gotten him to hold off on calling him in for late-night deliveries. It seemed fair, since he hadn't taken family leave for Alaina. Allen certainly wasn't going to complain, but guilt would rear its ugly head once in a while. He definitely wasn't about to go to that same boss and ask for even more slack to be cut, just because he was tired.
On the Wednesday before the Fair opened, he and Brantley staggered in through the door. Allen collapsed in a heap on the couch, and Brantley just kissed his forehead and collected Alaina from Alicia. "You're a godsend, Brantley." Allen needed him to know that, even if he didn't think Brantley cared.
"It's hardly a godsend to help out a little, although I could wish you'd talk to a doctor." He waved as Alicia left. "Do you think you might be ill?"
"No, I'm just tired. I'll get over it." His phone buzzed, and he slid it out of his pocket. The caller was his mother. "Hi, Mom. What's up?"
His mother was normally the most solid person Allen knew. She was a rock of calm in the storm of any life, and she was stronger than any blizzard. When his mother spoke now, she sounded shattered. "Allen? I'm at Silver Oak."
Allen's mom was always at Silver Oak. She worked there, for crying out loud. "Okay." He waited a beat. "Are you at the ER?"
"I am." She sniffed, messily. "It's your dad, Allen. He's here. They don't know what's wrong."
"I'll be right there." Allen struggled to his feet. All he wanted was to crawl into bed with Sadie for a nap, but he couldn't. He had to go to his mother.
"I'll come with you." Brantley stepped forward. "I might be able to help."
Allen hesitated. Brantley wasn't really family, and his parents would want only family around right now. At the same time, Allen wanted Brantley around. He wanted Brantley around for himself, and he wanted Brantley around for their ruse. "Yeah. Yeah, but let's take two cars, just in case. Someone needs to be able to come back and take care of Alaina and Sadie."
"Good point. Maybe I should just stay here." Brantley bit his lip.
Allen bowed his head. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess. But I really do wish I could have you there with me." He looked away. Had he said too much?
"For the thing." Brantley smiled, just a little. "With ICE."
Allen sighed. "Yeah. Of course." He squeezed Brantley's hand and kissed Alaina's cheek. "Bye, sweetheart. I'll see you later."
He drove back to work, as though he'd never left. He almost ran up to the Obstetrics wing, but he remembered himself just in time. He changed course and headed down to the emergency department, just as fast as his feet could carry him.
His mother sat in an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room. His mother, who had been a nurse at this hospital for longer than Allen had been alive, sat in an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room. The man on her left was intoxicated, and covered in effluvia that might have been his own. Allen wasn't going to check. The woman on her right had a runny nose that wouldn't quit, which she wiped on her sleeve.
Allen strode right up to her. It took his mom a few seconds to notice him standing in front of her, which spoke volumes about her mental state right now. If there wasn't anyplace more private to wait in the back, Allen would bring her up to his office. "Ma. What's going on?"
She looked up into his eyes. She'd never looked old to him before. She'd always looked more or less the same—about forty, which was going to get awkward soon since Allen himself was in his thirties. "I have no idea. They rushed him away and told me to come sit out here. It's Jeff, Allen. It's Jeff!"
She buried her face in Allen's chest and sobbed. Allen held her for a long moment while everyone in the crowded emergency room stared. This always happened. They'd be livid if anyone else stared at them, of course, but right now the Fryes' drama provided a momentary distraction from their own pain. They'd take what they could get.
It was human nature.
Allen gently guided his mother toward the door that led back into the employees-only area.
"Sir!" A receptionist stood up and scowled. "Sir, you can't go in there! It's employees only!"
He fished underneath his shirt and pulled out his ID, still on its lanyard around his neck. Then he ran his ID past the scanner on the door. The door unlocked, and the receptionist fell silent.
Allen didn't feel compelled to say anything to the receptionist. After all, she was just doing her job. Maybe Mom hadn't identified herself. She certainly didn't seem to be all that with it right now.
Now that he had her behind the door and safe in the arms of the Silver Oak family, he needed to figure out what he could do with her while he tried to figure out what was going on with his father. Just as he was looking around the ER, Dr. Wade caught sight of him and trotted across the open floor.
"Allen Frye! It's good to see you." He beamed and shook his head. "Hey, do you know whatever happened to that baby you delivered, a few weeks ago? The mother passed?"
Allen smiled. He always smiled when he thought of Alaina, even under circumstances like this. "She's staying with me. I'm fostering her, and if DSS can't find any family for her, then I'll be adopting her. It doesn't look like any family's going to be stepping up. She's at home with my boyfriend, Dr. Powell."
"The oncologist? Huh. I thought I heard some gossip about that. Is he good with kids?" Wade shifted his weight. It looked like he was settling in for a long discussion.
"He's surprisingly fantastic with kids. He's amazing with Alaina, and you should see him with my niece, Harper." Allen cleared his throat. "Speaking of family, this is my mother, Isabel Frye. She's a nurse in Care Coordination Services. She worked in the OR for a long time, too."
"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Frye." Dr. Wade turned to Allen's mom and tried to give a charming smile, and then he noticed her state. "How can I help?"
"My dad was brought in here, and someone just sent her out to the waiting room out front. I need to get her out of there and I need to find out what happened to my dad." Allen relaxed a little bit. Dr. Wade was a great guy. He was also the head of the department. If anyone knew anything, it would be him.
"Well, first of all, let's get your mom set up in my office. Mind the armadillo, it's a genuine souvenir from a tourist trap." He led the way to his office. It didn't offer a great sanctuary—the head of the emergency department liked to be able to see what was going on—but it kept her out of the public view. "Awesome. Have a seat, and we'll get you set up with something comfortable. Meanwhile, I'll go shout at a few people in a very Texan way until I get to the bottom of where your husband's gone off to." He caught Mom's eye, and this time some of his charm was able to break through.
"Thank you, Dr. Wade."
"Don't you thank me, Mrs. Frye. Thank you. Your son has saved more lives than I can count. I'll be back in a jiffy." He headed out into the bustling emergency department.
Mom looked around the office, like she had no idea where she was. "You couldn't date him, instead of that man who won't hold your hand in public?"
Allen huffed out a laugh. "Ma, Dr. Wade is married. And he
's married to Dylan Palmer."
"The movie star?" Mom's eyes widened. "Oh. Well, I think you're better looking than he is, but what do I know? I'm just your mother." She quickly lost what little spirit she'd gained. "Do you think your father's okay?"
Allen counted to five. "Well, I'm not sure what happened to him. If he's here though, he'll do better than he would if he were anyplace else." He took her hand. "Why don't you tell me what happened with Dad, and I'll see if I can figure anything out?"
Mom nodded, but she didn't pick her eyes up off of the floor. "We'd gotten a visit from a nasty little man named Gottlieb. He'd said some terrible things about your boyfriend, and about you. Just awful. Anyway, your father got agitated. He tried to walk it off, but he suddenly clutched at his chest and fell over."
Heart attack. Allen could diagnose that without thinking about it, even if his certification precluded speaking the words. Why would they tell his mother they didn't know what was wrong with Dad, though? It didn't make sense.
