by M. D. Grimm
The pit bull lifted his head and leaned against Brian’s leg. His tail was no longer tucked but it was hanging low. Brian stroked his head, sending warm and gentle thoughts. The tail started to wag a bit. Then he sent Brian a strange image—there was Derek, larger than life, hovering over the pittie but the presence of Derek didn’t feel human. Brian frowned as he took in the dog’s impression of Derek and found it unsettling.
He shook himself and gave the pit bull a bath, flea and tick medication, and a large bone to keep him occupied. The pit bull trotted along beside him with tail wagging high, the bone proudly in his mouth. Brian led the dog into one of the kennels and locked it, his mind returning to Derek. The rage Derek would feel over the death of an animal made Brian’s stomach twist. Others became angry but Derek… he became like an avenging angel. Derek never called them “it.” Not once in the years he had known Derek did the man ever call an animal “it.”
Brian sighed again. His heart always softened when it came to Derek. He was, no matter how irrationally, in love with the guy.
Derek wished he could explain to Brian why he felt so enraged. He stood outside the center, leaning against his Jeep, and waited for Brian to come out. He needed to apologize even if it punched at his pride. He had been in the wrong.
He’d always had a temper, even as a child. He thought he had control of it, but despite the anger management classes and counseling, sometimes it got the better of him.
That poor horse. She had only been three years old. Too young to die.
He scrubbed his face before tugging slightly at his hair. He’d called his mother during his patrol and told her about his intent on asking out Brian. After a few questions he’d answered as best he could, she had given her blessing. Warda Williams was the matriarch of their pack and her word was law. Even his father, Edward, deferred to her at times. Thankfully his pack wasn’t one of the isolated or bigoted ones that thought wolves were superior to all other shifters. They frequently worked hand-in-hand with other shifter herds and clans to try and protect national parks and the environment in general. His mother simply told him to be careful, use his best judgement, and that was it.
Now it was up to him.
As he waited, he remembered the first time Brian had stood up under his rage. Others fled. Brian had sought him out. It had been a couple of weeks after Brian started at the center, and Derek had brought in five abandoned puppies barely three weeks old. So helpless. Only two had survived. He’d lost it. Then Brian had joined him in the men’s restroom with a bottle of water, and despite standing there in silence, Derek had been oddly soothed. Just like he’d been today.
That was when Derek had taken a second look at the doc. And what he found only cemented his affection for Brian and made him gradually desire more than simple friendship.
Derek pushed off his Jeep when Brian come out of the clinic. His heart started to race with nerves as he stepped clear of his car that was parked right next to Brian’s green Volkswagen Beetle.
“Brian.”
Brian noticed him and came around his car. “You feel any better?”
“Yeah, I… look, I’m sorry.”
Brian smiled and shrugged. “No harm done. We all need to vent sometimes, you know. I have my moments.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “I don’t remember you having any moments.”
“That’s because I do it in private.” He cleared his throat. “Or, you know, with my therapist.”
“Oh. Why not join the club, and let it all hang out? We have T-shirts and everything.”
Brian laughed. Derek grinned. He liked making Brian laugh. Derek had learned a year ago about Brian’s therapy, and his curiosity still buzzed about the reasons for it.
“I wanted to ask you something, Brian.” It was now or never.
“Shoot.”
Derek took a breath. This was harder than he had anticipated. “Well, do you, um, do you want to go out? On, um, a date?”
He was an idiot.
Brian stared at him with a blank face, his mouth slightly open.
“Pardon?” he finally said.
“You heard me.”
“A date?”
Derek nodded.
“You and me?”
“Yes.” This was starting to become ridiculous.
“You’re gay?”
“Yes.” Now Derek laughed slightly.
Brian blushed. Derek laughed harder. Brian punched Derek in the shoulder.
“Don’t laugh at me. Am I supposed to know you’re gay? Or even bi? Maybe my gaydar is skewed but you always came off as an egotistical macho-man.”
“That’s because I am,” Derek said, not at all offended. “Stereotype much?”
Brian scowled. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Uh huh. And did you just say ‘gaydar?’ What decade are we in?”
Brian let out an exasperated sigh. “Haven’t been out in a long time, cut me some slack.”
“How long is long?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“That is long.”
Brian grunted.
They stood there a moment in silence, and Derek worried that he’d teased a bit too hard.
Derek waved his hand in front of Brian’s face. “So… is that a yes or a no?”
Derek noticed the struggle behind Brian’s eyes and didn’t like it. He wondered if it was just his arrogance at always being able to make heads turn that made him irritated by Brian’s minute of indecision. Though, he shouldn’t be surprised if Brian didn’t want a guy with his temper.
“Yes,” Brian said.
Finally.
“Good.” He tried to ignore the immense relief that washed over him. He didn’t know what he’d have done if Brian had said no. Sulked off, probably. Brooded. Moaned and cursed like a child.
“This Friday good?”
Brian took out his phone, probably checking his calendar. “Looks to be.”
They already had each other’s phone numbers but needed to exchange addresses. Then they awkwardly parted and got into their separate cars. Derek had a grin on his face for the entire drive home.
After he fed his three dogs—a mastiff, a golden retriever, and an old hound dog—Derek loaded everyone up into his Jeep and took off down the streets of Eastgate. There were several wooded parks, and he had his pick of them. The urge to shift had been growing all day, as it always did when animals died on his watch, and he couldn’t contain it anymore. He didn’t want to contain it. His dogs barked happily in the back of his Jeep, nipping playfully and sniffing excitedly. He knew they lived for this.
He just hoped he didn’t get Fish and Wildlife called on him again. Thankfully the main guy to take nighttime calls was a cougar shifter. But it had been painfully awkward to have to shift back to his human form—a naked form—and explain he just needed to run as a wolf. Eric laughed during every encounter and told him to keep his howls to himself.
Derek parked his Jeep several blocks away and led his dogs without leashes to one of the park’s entrances. It was dark, the stars were already out, and there were several lights lit in the park, but security was lax. He led his dogs into the woods before stripping down and stuffing his clothes in the bag he had brought along. He closed his eyes and focused on the feel of fur covering his body, the explosion of scents in his lupine form, his sensitive hearing, the pads of his feet. The instinctual reaction to every stimuli. The air shimmered and pulsed before the change came over him. The shifting took little time and wasn’t painful at all. It was a part of him, as much as breathing or eating or fucking.
A wolf with black, brown, and gray fur now stood where a man once had. The three dogs barked in happiness, their tails wagging. The wolf howled once before charging into the dark woods. The dogs followed.
Brian frowned and muted his TV. He tilted his head and looked out the living room window. His dogs were curled up beside him on the couch, and his cat lay along the back of it.
What was
that? A wolf’s howl? This wasn’t the first time noticing it, either. Since he’d moved to Washington, he’d heard that eerie howl a few times a week. He’d called Fish and Wildlife Services at first but nothing had ever come of it so he’d stopped.
His dogs certainly heard it. Fenrir lifted his head and his ears moved back. His two German shepherds, Joan and Gable, perked their ears up and started to growl.
“No, calm down, guys.” They did so almost instantly. He projected calm thoughts as his skin erupted in goose bumps.
He liked wolves, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come face-to-face with one. And he didn’t want his babies to be eaten. He turned back to the television but kept it on mute. He could still hardly believe it. The man he’d been crushing on for about a year was gay. Not straight. It had to be a miracle. There was a God.
But his stomach was churning, and he wasn’t sure if it was from excitement or fear. Maybe both. He hadn’t been in a relationship since Kyle and that ended very badly. He’d had to file charges because the moron set Brian’s apartment on fire, nearly killing other people in the complex. Thankfully, Kyle had done a piss-poor job of it, and the fire crews managed to save almost everything and no one had died. It had also served as the final straw to get Kyle’s ass tossed in jail. Unfortunately, the bastard’s sentence was up and he was now free. Miles away on the east coast. Small comfort.
Brian laid his head against Joan’s back and the German Shephard whined gently, sensing his worry. He couldn’t help but wonder if, given Derek’s temper, was he setting himself up for another fire starter?
Chapter Four
Two years earlier
Derek hurried out of his car and dashed to the back to remove the crate of five nearly frozen puppies. He couldn’t run without jostling the babies so he walked as quickly as he could into the center.
“Doc!”
Brian leapt to his feet so fast the chair toppled backward. He ignored it and met Derek at the exam table. He opened the crate and started taking out one puppy after another.
“Got a call about abandoned puppies in the nearby park. They can’t even open their goddamn eyes.” Derek glowered as Brian checked them over.
“I know, I heard over the radio. Hand me those blankets, Derek, we need to warm them.”
Brian’s firm voice stopped him from falling too deeply into rage. He did as he was told and took part in lightly rubbing the pups, trying to push life back into them. His wolf wanted to nuzzle and lick them, to curl around them protectively. Instead Derek gritted his teeth and kept his movements gentle and persistent.
Derek struggled to throttle back his anger. He didn’t want his skin to ripple as it would when he was close to a shift. He glanced at Brian. He was working out all right. He knew his shit and was one of the people Derek could stand to be around. The animals responded to him and for some inexplicable reason, Derek was soothed when in his presence. Even as he tried to hang onto the rage, it faded into anxious sorrow as he realized some of the pups wouldn’t make it.
Brian reached out and touched the back of his hand. “I’m sorry but you can stop now. That one isn’t coming back.”
Derek clenched his jaw and gently pressed the limp puppy to his chest. A howl of despair echoed in his mind.
“Derek, work on the others. We can save some of them. Derek?” Brian touched his arm. When he didn’t respond, Brian tightened his grip and shook him. “Wake up and help me or get someone who will.”
Derek snapped his gaze over to Brian and nearly unleashed a growl. Brian paled slightly and though fear sparked in his eyes, he didn’t flinch or move away.
Cursing under his breath, Derek set down the puppy and moved to another one. It wasn’t long before that one started to move and twitch. Encouraged, Derek continued rubbing him—er—her, and without thought, nuzzled her wrinkled face. After several minutes of effort, only two survived.
“They were alive when I found them,” Derek whispered.
Brian said nothing as he called the front desk to get more helping hands. Both puppies still alive weren’t out of the woods yet. They lay bundled in blankets and still twitched and whimpered. What happened to their mother? Derek had radioed for assistance in a search since helping the puppies had been priority. His fellow officers hadn’t found anything.
Derek stared at the dead puppies, knowing he’d failed.
Brian hung up the phone. “You need a break.”
Derek glared at him before turning and leaving. He nearly ran into Eva. He stomped to the men’s restroom and slammed the door shut. He kicked the wall a few times, the physical pain doing nothing for the emotional pain surging through him. This time, he had no one to blame but himself. No humans to fine or prosecute. His rage was impotent and landed squarely on his own shoulders.
“Fuck!” He punched one of the mirrors, cracking it. He barely noticed the blood on his knuckles. He’d need to hit the gym tonight and maybe one of the local dance clubs or bars. He was in the mood for a bit of violent fucking. But all that had to wait until after he shifted.
He gripped one of the sinks and bent over it, taking ragged breaths. His wolf clawed to be let out. He wanted to hunt for those responsible, to sniff out the culprit and rip out their throats.
Derek didn’t know how long he stayed in the restroom but eventually he realized he wasn’t alone. He was about to tell them to fuck off when he noticed it was Brian standing near the door. They stared at each other, and Derek recognized the grief in Brian’s eyes. He couldn’t look away. His wolf stopped clawing at his mind and his muscles loosened. He was still raw with emotion but he finally breathed normally. Weirdly enough it felt like his wolf was being… petted?
Derek finally straightened and faced Brian squarely. With a small smile, Brian stepped forward and held out a bottle of water.
“Thanks,” Derek grunted and gulped down half.
“You’re welcome.”
Derek eyed Brian. Most people didn’t have the nerve to confront him when he was raging. Everyone usually kept their distance. Why didn’t Brian? Was he just too new to understand it was probably in his best interest to stay away? Though Derek remembered the fear in those green eyes.
“You all right now?” Brian asked.
Derek squinted but didn’t detect anything but curiosity in his tone. He shrugged. “For now.”
“Good. You probably need to write your report.”
“I know.”
“I’ll send you what I can when I can,” Brian said. “But first you need to come back to the clinic so I can treat your hand. That looks like a nasty cut.” Then he left.
Derek was rather impressed by the doc’s calm demeanor and control during the entire incident. He finished the water and chucked the bottle before doing as he was told. Brian cared for his hand silently and then Derek was sitting and just staring at his monitor for a long moment.
There weren’t many people who made impressions on him. Brian just had.
Brian was still shaken by the encounter hours later but he was damn proud of himself. And, oddly, proud of Derek as well. It took strength to accept help when it was offered. That was a lesson that Brian had been slow to learn. He thought he’d been clever at keeping his manipulative domestic life hidden from his colleagues years ago but they had known. And they’d attempted to make him wake up. So had his sister. He’d been so under the bastard’s thumb that he’d cut her off. Only with her death had he finally shaken free.
Brian swallowed the pain and pushed into the bar. For a moment he thought of running away but then several voices called his name. He turned and smiled at the table packed with his colleagues. Even Derek was there, looking sleek in black.
“Hey guys,” he said.
Derek found him a chair, and he smiled in gratitude. It didn’t escape his notice that Derek put the chair right next to his chair. Brian was still puzzled how his ability had worked so well on such a volatile man. And his mind had felt… different than those of his roommates in college. Almost c
loser to a dog’s but not quite. Still a man’s but with a canine quality. Brian had never felt anything like it before. It made him more curious.
It was about seven in the evening, and he’d returned home for dinner and to cuddle with Fenrir. But now he was jumping in feet first and hoping he swam. Maybe facing down Derek had given him the confidence he needed. He hadn’t run away.
“What’ll you have?” Derek asked.
“Something without alcohol.”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “Then what’s the point?”
“I have work tomorrow. So do you.”
Derek snorted. “Don’t be such an adult.”
Brian laughed. “One of us has to be.”
“Better you than me,” Derek said.
“Where you from?” Phil, another officer, asked. “I can’t place your accent.”
“I was born in Virginia. But I traveled a lot up and down the coast before moving here.”
“Why come all the way over here?”
Brian kept the smile on his face. “Reasons. I think I’ll have a lemonade.”
Derek nodded and stood before shooting Phil a look. Then he moved toward the bar.
“Huh,” Tina said, watching Derek leave. “That’s a first.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think he liked anyone,” Phil said before taking a sip of his drink.
“What?” Brian asked.
“He never gets drinks for anyone but himself,” Molly said. She eyed him with a raised eyebrow. “Until now.”
“Um.”
“And he usually doesn’t come out with us,” Phil said. “It’s hit or miss with him.”
“I would say he’s a cold customer except for, well, you know,” Molly said, widening her eyes.
