by T Gephart
“Just wait for the end of the tour,” Angie warned. “It’s going to be hard enough juggling dates around doctor’s visits for Kenzie, we don’t need any other complications.” Angie took a sip from her coffee cup, something else she’d been unable to do since we’d walked in.
“Kenzie isn’t coming.” The three heads of my bandmates snapped around to face me like it had been a forgone conclusion.
That had been another thing we’d discussed during our five-day reconnection. And each time I suggested the possibility of her taking some time and joining me on the road, she shot me down—flat out refusing. “Trust me, the idea of leaving her here and taking off is fucking killing me but she’s hell bent on staying. And short of tying her up and taking her at gunpoint, I can’t see it happening.”
“If she’s worried about us, I can talk to her,” Angie offered, her eyes went from me to her now settled son in my arms. “I’d love to have another girl on tour. Alison will even be there sometimes.”
“She won’t budge, saying that she won’t desert the Beauty Queens. I get it, they have a residency happening and that’s a tough gig to walk away from. I’m not back-flipping over it but I can’t ask her to give up her career because of mine.”
The big silence that bounced off the walls was the sound of me being reasonable. It wasn’t in my usual bag of tricks and to be honest, I wasn’t sure I liked the way it felt but I wasn’t going to be an asshole either.
“Aliens have taken Joey.” Angie smiled, a little too pleased that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“Yeah, well fuck you.” I smirked, unable to flip them off on account of my hands being occupied.
“All right, let’s go over the rest of this stuff. Tour starts in two weeks and I’m already having a panic attack over being stuck on a bus with all of you.”
Zack fell asleep in my arms as Angie went over the particulars of what our first headline tour was going to be like. The venues were a fraction of what we’d played when we were Power Station’s support, but we didn’t care. It was our gig and we were proud that we’d gotten to the point where we could sell out an arena solely off our own name and reputation.
The big time was right at our doorstep. So freaking close I could smell it, taste it and yet part of me felt unfilled. Aliens. Maybe Angie and Rusty were right.
After all the T’s and I’s had been dotted or crossed—whatever that meant—I opted to forgo hanging out at Angie’s with the crowd and headed back to Kenzie’s. After all, in two weeks all I was going to be seeing were those fuckers every single waking moment and I needed to soak up as much time with my girl as possible.
My girl.
And would you look at that. I somehow fell into a relationship. What’s more is that I could never remember being so hardcore about a girl as I was about this woman. I liked the way it felt—me and her being together. Not because we’d made a human, but because somewhere in my head and heart I believed it would have happened all along. Someone that fucking awesome had been under my nose this whole entire time and I hadn’t locked that down?
Fucking idiot.
World-class moron.
Biggest dumbass of all mankind.
And thank fuck for whatever shit was going on in the universe for hooking that up for me, considering I’d been too blind to do it myself.
Yep. My ass was owned.
“Hey Jo—”
I didn’t let her finish the sentence, preferring for my greeting to be a little less verbal. Talk was so overrated.
“Well hello.” She laughed when my mouth had finally let go of hers. “How was your meeting?”
“I missed you.” My lips got cozy with her throat, wondering if I was being a complete asshole but not wanting talk. Not when we had so little time.
“Hey, what’s got into you? You’re not dying are you? Because if you’ve knocked me up and leave me, I’ll kill you.” She laughed realizing how little sense she was making. “And death will hurt so much more the second time, I assure you.”
“Look at me.” I cupped her face and tilted her chin so she could look at me. “Not even the Grim Reaper stands a chance at taking me from you. Nothing is going to stop me from being here to raise our baby with you.”
Flat out it wouldn’t happen. I’d dig my heels in and tell that fucker to suck my dick before I’d abandon either of them.
“Joey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” She raised her hands to my face and swear to God, I felt like my life was flashing before my eyes.
“Nothing, just for the first time everything is really right.” I swallowed the urge to cry because it would A: Probably make me look like pussy and B: I didn’t want to worry her.
“O-kay.” She nodded completely unconvinced. Not that I blamed her, I wasn’t doing a really good job of selling the it’s-all-good. “You’re still coming to see me play tonight, right?”
“Hells yes I’m coming.” Like I would be anywhere else. “Rusty and Max are coming too. Angie is trying to work Zack into a routine so is out and Alison already had plans.”
“Cool, let me go see what I can still squeeze into.” She wrinkled her nose as she tried to pull away from me.
“Not yet.” My hands moved from her face to her hips, stopping her from leaving. “I’m not done kissing you.”
***
Kenzie and girls AKA The Beauty Queens from Mars had continued their usual gig. They had a standing spot at the Alley Cat and packed the place two nights a week. And an opportunity like that was more than a secure paycheck, it was a chance to build a fan base. Not easy to come by, especially in New York City where every dickwad with a hard-on had stars in his eyes wanting to be a rock star.
Max and Rusty had met us there, with Kenzie and I showing up a little earlier so she could sound check. Plus, I’d been pretty much monopolizing her time of late, for which I made no apologies.
It was nice to sit back and chill for a while as the girls warmed up, reminding me how much I missed it. We used to be regular fixtures on the bar circuit, checking out other bands—most of which were our friends—but like all things, shit had changed.
“Sperm donor,” Becca called from behind her kit, her smiling hinting that she would be giving me shit for most of the night. “What’s the chances you have a drum key in your truck? I can’t find where the hell mine is.”
“What are the chances if I hook you up, you let the insults slide tonight?” I walked across and handed her the one hanging off my car keys. I’d learned early on I couldn’t be trusted to remember the fucking thing unless it was attacked to something important.
“Steady on, homeslice.” She accepted the key and started tightening the lugs. “You see a halo above my head? Unlikely.” She went about tuning her drums as I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Kenzie asked, walking over to where Becca and I were standing.
“Your boy here is chasing miracles, and there ain’t no saints hanging around this lot.” Becca grinned, warming up her double kick and hitting her crash.
“It’s a drummer thing, I’m convinced.” Sara weighed in, her short skirt barely within the confines of being legal. “All that banging makes you aggressive. It’s evolutionarily proven.”
“How about I evolutionarily prove your ass into next week.” Becca tossed a stick narrowly missing Sara. She’d found a new target to hang shit on.
“Stick to beating the skins, Becca. Your aim is fucking terrible.” I laughed, expecting a stick to come sailing toward me at any minute.
“Be grateful Kenzie likes you, daddy-o. You’re in my blast radius.” She spun her stick taunting me.
“Infinitely glad Kenzie likes me.” I slung an arm around my girl and brought her in close for a hug, the angle of her guitar almost clocking me in the nuts. “But not ’cause I give a shit what you think.”
“Who said I liked you?” Kenzie said as she pulled me across to her part of the stage, giving us no more privacy but at least a small buffer against flying pr
ojectiles.
“I sort of assumed.” I bowed my head so I could kiss her. “Good thing is, I like you too.”
“Seriously, if you two are going to kiss and talk about liking each other I’m going to barf all over the stage,” Sara shouted from behind us as I flipped her the finger. “And Kenzie just stopped doing that like maybe a week ago, so we’d like to keep it vomit free.”
“I’ll let you do your thing.” I gave Kenz another kiss despite the protests from the others, my girl giggling as I left her on stage.
She looked beautiful tonight.
Her hair pulled away from her face but left loose in the back, so it fell like a crazy dark-blonde waterfall. She’d bitched about her clothes being too tight so I gave her my Stone Temple Pilots T-shirt. She’d cut off the sleeves and somehow by tying knots in it at the sides she’d made it into a dress, topping it all off with a pair of biker boots.
And there wasn’t a girl on the planet who was hotter.
“You’re gonna get in a lot of trouble tonight, my friend.” Max came up from behind and slapped me on the back.
“What are you talking about? I’m not interested in trouble.” I kept my eyes locked on Kenzie despite my best friend standing beside me.
“I’m talking about this territorial look you have going on while staring at her. I hope for all our sakes no one is stupid enough to go anywhere near her tonight. Not in the mood for a bar fight.”
Fuck. I hadn’t even thought about that. My eyes scanned the room for anyone paying a little too much attention, my fist ready to lay anyone out who even breathed in her direction.
“All good, Max.” Rusty walked over carrying a couple of icy-cold beers, big shit-eating grin on his face. “I roofied his drink. He’ll be mellow and ready to be Kenzie’s bitch by the time she gets off stage.” A longneck thrust into my hand.
“I’m already her bitch.” I took a long pull and let the brew wash down my throat. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as fun as I’d anticipated.
“At least he’s honest.” Max laughed, taking a swig of his.
“I’ve got nothing to say.” Rusty shrugged. “My balls are happily under lock and key.” He paused before taking a big long breath. “The perks are freaking sens-a-tional.”
“Dude, that’s my fucking niece.” Max smacked him across the chest, the old joke about Alison and her family ties working its way into the conversation.
“I keep forgetting.” Rusty laughed, the two of them clinking their beers and taking another drink.
Background music was piped through the PA until the girls were ready to start. The lights dimmed but didn’t go completely black, allowing people to move around the room if they needed to. Not that anyone did when the Beauty Queens finally took the stage.
Four hot women who could legit sing and play? Yeah, no one was going anywhere. Unless it was the bathroom to pull one out. God, I didn’t even want to think about it.
I’d always thought they were talented, but watching Kenzie on stage playing and harmonizing Sara’s vocals gave me a whole new appreciation. It wasn’t just that she didn’t drop a note, or that her playing was flawless, it was that she was perfect on stage. Doing her thing without the unnecessary theatrics, the crowd being drawn in a little further with each bar she played. It was sexy without being slutty, hot without being over the top, and smooth beyond freaking measure.
Even Becca was on point, keeping the sound tight. I couldn’t fault any of them—and neither could the crowd. Their applause shook the foundation as the girls took a bow, the loudest cheer from yours truly.
“Just keep your dick in your pants; this is a nice place and we don’t want to get tossed out,” Rusty whispered as Kenzie stepped off stage, her face shiny from sweat.
“Did he just growl?” Max laughed from the other side, the bastards thoroughly enjoying the fact I needed to nail my feet to the floor so I didn’t attack her the minute she got closer.
“Shut your mouths, I need to kiss my woman.” I grabbed her the minute she was in arms-distance and planted my lips on her so fast she’d barely realized what was happening.
“Thank God he can only get her pregnant once.” Someone laughed from behind us. I’m pretty sure it was Rusty but I didn’t care enough to turn around.
“I guess you liked the show then?” Kenzie pulled her mouth away from mine. “How many times did you almost come? Be honest.” She grinned giving me the same bullshit line I had given her not so long ago.
“My dick is so hard I could drill for oil right now.” Understatement of the fucking century.
“Ewww.” Sara la-la-la’d and plugged her ears. “Someone needs to make them stop.”
“Hey, guys.” The meathead who’d been working on a song with Kenzie appeared from nowhere. His big Sasquatch body taking up like half of the bar.
“Hey, Dom.” Sara launched herself at him like a battering ram, the man mountain not seeming to mind. Well then. I guess we know where his interests lie and thank Christ for that.
A bunch of hi’s-how-are-you’s were thrown around and introductions were made, the dude being as polite as can be as he did the rounds. His eyes only detoured south when he looked at Sara, keeping them face-level when he spoke to the others. Just as well. And not that I gave a shit about the behemoth, but if he was a friend of Kenzie’s then I’d try and play nice.
“Hey, I owe you an apology.” I pulled him aside and stuck out my hand, offering it to him. While I was happy to play nice, I didn’t need a freaking audience.
“It’s cool dude, that’s between you and your girl.” He clapped my palm and gave it a shake. “If she’s cool with you, we’ve got no problems.”
“Yeah, shit is more than cool now.” I nodded toward Kenzie who was laughing with her band oblivious to our secret squirrel meeting. How the hell she’d missed the shift in the Earth’s atmosphere was beyond me.
“Good, because Kenzie is a good friend and anyone who messes with her, messes with me.” The dude squared off his shoulders, in an I-mean-business kind of way.
“Unnecessary, dude. I’d rather rip my own arm off and beat myself with it than hurt that girl.” And I meant every fucking word. Which is why I was going to say the next bit even though I’d rather swallow glass than ask this guy for anything. “Look, I’m heading out of town soon.” Seriously, was I going to do this? “And not that she needs looking after, she’s one of the strongest chicks I know. But it would make me feel better knowing someone with her best interest at heart was keeping an eye out for her.”
“It killed you to say that right now, didn’t it?” He eyed me intently, trying to get a read on me.
“Every fucking word.” I nodded, wishing there was a way I could tear myself in two. “But I need to do what’s best for her and I can’t cancel the tour. I can’t be in two places at once, and if something happened to her or the baby while I’m gone . . .”
“It won’t. And you didn’t need to ask. I was planning on it anyway, but the fact you were man enough to say something has earned you a heap of my respect.” He put out his hand, offering it to me.
“Look at you making new friends.” Kenzie nestled into my side as I finished shaking Dom’s hand. “Either of you want to tell me what is going down?” Her eyes shifted between him and me waiting for one of us to start singing.
“Coke deal, I’m trying to get a better price on the Columbian blow.” I kissed her neck without missing a beat.
“No, seriously.” She jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow, not satisfied with what I thought was a perfectly good answer.
“I can admit when I’m wrong and apologize when I’ve acted like a tool. He seems like a decent enough dude, even if he creates a fucking eclipse when he walks out of his door.” I grinned, fully aware the dude was standing right there.
“You guys have fun.” Dom smirked, making a beeline for Sara. How that even worked out for them was beyond me. She would definitely have to be on top.
“You know.” She wrapped her arms
around my neck smiling up at me. “We never really officially got together.”
“Babe, if you think we are anything but together then you’re delusional.” I bowed my head and kissed her. This time a little less intense.
“No, I get that.” She snuggled in closer, the feel of her against me—the greatest thing in the fucking world. “But it just sort of happened.”
“Well consider this me making it official.” I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off the ground. My lips on hers were a given.
“Okay, we’re together.” She sighed, her head resting against my shoulder. “Now take me home so we can have sex.”
Joey had left exactly forty-four hours, thirteen minutes and fifty-three seconds ago. Yes, I was now one of those girls.
Our goodbye had been bittersweet. We’d spent almost every minute together until he got on that bus and said goodbye. Every gig I played he was there in the audience. Every night, he was in my bed. We hadn’t decided to be in a relationship, it just sort of grew into one. One day I was single, pregnant and thinking about raising this baby largely by myself, and then all of those things changed. There was no discussion that this was more than just about raising our child together; this was about wanting to be with each other. Needing to be with each other.
“You’re not going to be lonely on the road? There will be a million girls who’d be more than happy to help you with that,” I whispered against his back, not liking the insecurity that had crept up from nowhere.
“You’re right, there will be a million. Maybe even more. And none of them will be you. So how will any of those millions of women help me if I’m lonely?” He twisted around and pulled me against him. “Trust me, no one is more surprised at this than me, Kenzie. But I don’t want anyone else.”
That smile.
It had always been my weakness. The way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. In the past I knew it wasn’t mine permanently but now, things were different and he wouldn’t give it to anyone else. He just wouldn’t.
