by E. L. Todd
Wilder stayed silent.
I finally opened my eyes and felt the moisture pool. They weren’t tears of sadness, but rage. Some of those girls were only twelve. It was disgusting.
“That’s what I was doing when I left.”
“Did you succeed? Did you save those women?”
He shook his head with an empty look in his eyes. “They’d already been moved. But I killed the men who were still there.”
Now I understood why he felt no remorse.
“And I’ll kill them all—one by one.”
My perception began to change. I didn’t think he was a monster anymore.
“This is what I do, Gray. I’m not a hit man. I don’t kill anybody for a paycheck. I fight for people who can’t fight for themselves. I kill people who deserve it. I give people their basic right to freedom. My agency is committed to intervening for people who’ve been abandoned and forgotten. That’s what I do. And I’m damn proud of it.”
Guilt rushed through me. All this time, I thought he was a soulless fiend. Little did I know, he was a hero. Now I knew the two parts of him were one and the same. I cared about a man who deserved my affection. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“I said some mean things…”
“You didn’t know the truth. It’s smart to be cautious. Never blindly trust someone—even me.”
My hands interlocked in my lap, and I stared at them in silence.
Wilder leaned back in the chair and rested his ankle on the opposite knee. His eyes were still on me, like he expected me to say something more.
Now I was scared. If this was the truth, then he must be right about my father. Maybe he really was one of the bad guys. Maybe he did kill innocent people. Maybe he was the opposite of Wilder.
I took a deep breath that hurt my lungs. “Can I see the evidence? On my father…”
His eyes were dark and endless. He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head slightly. “Not today.”
“Why?”
“I don’t think you’re ready.”
“I can be emotional sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak. Wilder, I can handle it.”
He turned his gaze away. “Not today.”
“Why?”
“I want to protect you as long as I can.”
“You aren’t doing me any favors. If he really is what you say he is, then I need to know.”
He wouldn’t budge. “When I tell you, you’ll understand why I kept it from you. Trust me on this. Enjoy your ignorance. It’s bliss.”
***
I sat in front of the window and watched the lights twinkle. They were just bright enough to outline the Matterhorn. But most of it disappeared into the shadow of the night. The lights from the village weren’t ordinary. They had a golden glow to them. Instead of looking at reality, it felt like an image from a brochure.
I understood Wilder’s fascination.
A knock sounded on the door, and I recognized his specific movement. He and Judy both had their own ways of doing things. I could tell who had been where just by looking at their trail. I was either observant or they were lazy.
“Come in.”
Wilder entered my bedroom then joined me on the floor. He usually visited me in the evenings if we didn’t see each other during the day. For the past few days, he’d been working in his office. I needed space anyway, so that worked out in my favor.
He wore gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips, and a black t-shirt. His evening outfits were predictable. It didn’t matter what he wore because he looked good in everything he put on his body. He filled out the shirt nicely, showing the outline of his chest and shoulders. I’d seen him shirtless before, and it was a memory I wouldn’t forget.
Now that I knew the truth about him, I was no longer tense. If anything, I felt remorseful for accusing him of being a criminal and a thug. But could I really blame myself for jumping to that conclusion? After all, I was still stuck there. He hadn’t released me nor had he explained why he needed me.
Wilder sat right beside me, his shoulder touching mine. It was nice being close to him, physically and emotionally. Since he was pretty much the only person I socialized with, it was impossible for me not to get attached. My heart had grown fonder of him.
“Keeping busy?” he asked.
“I took a nap today.”
A faint smile stretched his lips.
“Then I took a bath.”
“Wow…productive.”
“It’s not like there’s a lot for me to do around here.” I pulled my knees to my chest and looked out the window. I wanted to look at Wilder, but I resisted the temptation.
“Want to train with me tomorrow?”
Both of my eyebrows rose. “Train?”
“You know, sparring, running, weight lifting…”
Working out with a smoking hot guy sounded like fun. “Sure. But don’t let your guard down unless you want a black eye.”
He chuckled. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
I leaned against the frame of the bed as my arms continued to squeeze my legs. “What’s Judy’s story?”
“Why do you want to know?”
I shrugged. “Curious.”
“It’s her story, and I’m not at liberty to tell it.”
“Is she forced to be here? Like I am?”
“No.” He rested his arms on his knees.
“Have you ever forced someone to stay with you?” Or was I the only one?
“No.”
“Just me?” Why was I selected? Why was I chosen?
“I’ll tell you when it’s time.” His eyes were still glued out the window.
I still couldn’t figure it out. What reason could he possibly need me for? I wasn’t particularly talented at anything. I was smart, but I wasn’t super-geeky-computer smart. It was a mystery. “Will you ever let me go?”
“Of course. Are you in a hurry to leave?” The back of his head rested against the bedframe, and he turned my way so he could look at me.
“No.” If my father was evil, there was nowhere for me to go. I didn’t have grandparents or siblings. I was on my own.
“Then relax.”
In the beginning, I felt like a prisoner of war. But now it was different. I felt like I was there by my own will, wanting to spend time with Wilder and get to know him in a way no one else ever had. “So, Judy is here because she wants to be here?”
“Yes. She takes care of my home, and I give her a place to live and a desirable salary.”
“Does she have her own family?”
“No. Just me.”
My eyes pressured him to say more.
Wilder’s lips lifted slightly. “You have a way of pulling things out of me. It’s those eyes.”
I smiled triumphantly. “Tell me.”
“I won’t get into the specifics, but Judy was in a really bad situation. I rescued her along with many others. They returned to their families and their homes. But Judy had nowhere to go. I invited her to live with me—so she wouldn’t be alone.”
“Awe…” My heart started to swell.
“She’s a very sweet woman. It makes her happy to make my life easier.”
“I can tell.”
“She likes you.”
“She does?” All she ever does is try to wait on me hand and foot. We hadn’t had very many conversations, and the first time we met, I was a little rude.
Okay, I was super rude.
“She thinks you’re a sweet, young girl.” His lips stretched into a grin. “But she doesn’t know about your party girl secret.”
I was surprised she liked me. It didn’t seem like many people liked me when they met me. “I guess I’ll be nicer to her from now on.”
“Just be yourself.” He eyed the hearth and realized the flames were starting to die out. He got up and tossed more firewood inside, moving it around to get a steady b
urn. Then he returned to the place beside me.
“Where are the others? The agents?”
“Some of them are at the main base. Others are at home.”
“Where’s the main base?” I asked. “And please tell me it’s somewhere tropical?”
“You aren’t a fan of the cold?”
“I love it and think it’s beautiful, but I couldn’t live in perpetual winter.”
“Sorry, it’s not tropical. But it’s not as cold as it is here.”
Well, that was better than nothing.
“But I have a home in Maui. We can visit sometime.”
My jaw dropped. “You have a house in Maui?”
“Yep.” He didn’t gloat.
“Do you have homes anywhere else?”
“I have one in Cambridge.”
Now that I knew he lived in exotic places, Cambridge didn’t add up. “Why there?”
“It’s where I grew up. I don’t have any family, but the city keeps their spirit alive.” His voice didn’t belie his sadness, but the look in his eyes did. “I also have a home in Italy and New York City.” He added the last two quickly to change the subject.
“Wow. That’s a lot of real estate.”
“It’s nice to feel at home when you’re abroad.”
“That must cost a fortune…”
“RB12 generates formidable revenues.”
“How does that work?” I asked. “For instance, who’s paying you to help those women? Which country? Which leader?”
“No one is paying us for that.” His eyes were no longer on me. He stared out the window like he was looking at something only he could see. “We do that because it’s the right thing to do. Sex trafficking shouldn’t exist—period.”
It was volunteer work? “Why are you so passionate about it?” I was a woman, so I could relate to it well. Men often looked at me with one thing on their mind. I never felt sexually harassed, but it crossed my mind from time to time. Did Wilder know someone who was a victim? Had he seen it first hand?
Wilder didn’t say a word. He didn’t move or react whatsoever. It was as though he hadn’t heard me at all.
I knew I wasn’t getting an answer. “If that’s volunteer work, how do you earn a living?”
He came back to life at that question. “Do you remember the assassination of Amur Windel?”
“Yes.”
“That was me.”
My entire body froze like it’d been sheathed in ice. I didn’t even breathe because his words hit me so hard. I was impressed, terrified, and just in awe. I was young when that terrorist had been apprehended, but I understood the significance. I still remember the day when an entire city was blown to pieces.
“The CIA and FBI were struggling to find him. Every time they got a lead, it went cold. Eventually, they commissioned us to get the job done. And we did.” Wilder said all of this like it wasn’t a big deal.
I didn’t know what to say so I stayed absolutely still.
“We’ve also hit ISIS a few times. They’re difficult to track, but we’ve hurt their numbers a lot. Both France and the US commissioned that. We take on some of the most difficult missions, but we also take on civil ones. Just last year, I was paid to be the bodyguard of a famous model in New York City. She had enemies. When they struck, I took care of it. She was finally able to get some sleep after that.”
I soaked everything in like a sponge.
“We take on the missions we want. When someone pays me to assassinate someone, they have to have a damn good reason for me to do it.”
“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” It was the only thing I could come up with.
“You don’t need to apologize. I don’t look friendly. Like you said, I have danger written all over me.”
“I meant that in a different context.” And he knew it.
“Just don’t feel bad.”
Without thinking, I hooked my arm through his. His skin was warm, and it was better than any heater I had ever been near.
He turned my way, and his hand rested on my thigh. He responded to my affection immediately, his fingers stretching across my knee. I remembered the way his hands felt when they were on me.
It felt so good.
I looked up at him and saw him staring down at me.
“I love your eyes. I’ve always been a sucker for green eyes.”
The heat moved up my neck and to my cheeks. “Why?”
“They remind me of the forest. They’re organic and bright. They pull you in.”
My entire body became rigid. The walls I’d built long ago came down around me. Perhaps he was lying about who he really was, but I didn’t think he was. The resistance in my heart was growing weak, and my body craved his. I didn’t want him in a sexual way anymore. I wanted all of him—every night. He was powerful and strong, but he used his strength for good and not evil. He cared about helpless people. He carried the power of the gods but used it in the right way. Because of him, the world was a safer place.
I was safe.
A bond had formed between us, more powerful than a simple friendship. It grew in my heart until it spread to every inch of my body. It became an absolute truth and couldn’t be denied.
I wanted Wilder in my bed that night. I wanted our writhing bodies to collect sweat and rub against each other. I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted his lips all over me.
But I didn’t want him to leave the following morning.
I didn’t want meaningless sex. I wanted everything he possessed. His good heart, his beautiful mind, and his pure integrity.
I wanted it all.
Turning my gaze away so I wouldn’t kiss him or invite him to kiss me, I shut down my needs and kept my distance. “Wilder?”
“Sweetheart?”
He’d never called me that before. I heard the word but skipped over it. “Why is a relationship off the table?”
I turned back to him and saw his eyes lost their light when the moment was shattered. His arm tensed underneath my fingers, but he didn’t pull away. “I’m not capable of having a relationship. I’ve said that.”
“But why?” He had given me a bunch of vague mumbo-jumbo that didn’t explain anything.
“With my lifestyle, a relationship would never lead anywhere. I can’t have a wife and kids, or a house in the suburbs. So, I don’t bother.”
“But if you could, that’s something you would want?” There was hope.
“No.” He said it without emotion. “I would never put someone at risk like that. People want my head on a platter. Getting to someone I love would be the best way to accomplish that. But if I never love anyone, then there’s no one for them to torture. It’s easier this way.”
My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach.
“And I’m impossible to love anyway.”
“That’s not true,” I blurted.
He smiled but it wasn’t genuine. “You don’t know me that well.”
“Yes, I do.” I didn’t know what possessed me to say that, but if I blurted it out, it must have been part of my instincts.
“I have a lot of issues. I may have a heart, but that doesn’t mean it works anymore.”
Did he love someone before? If so, what happened to her?
“Sometimes, there are too many bad things in the world. Sometimes, you lose hope. And sometimes, you lose the ability to love.” He pressed his lips tightly together, almost grimacing, and then he looked out the window again.
***
We walked into his office then headed to the staircase in the corner.
“There’s a lower level?” How was that possible?
“Yeah.” He grabbed a few weapons then headed down the stairs without waiting for me.
I followed him as we stepped into a personal gym. The lower level of the compound was much bigger than the upper. It reached all the way underneath the house. “How was this built?”
“With a lot of mone
y.” He stepped onto the large mat in the center of the room. “Come here.”
He asked if I wanted to train with him today, but so far, I just felt bossed around. “Why?”
“Don’t ask questions, and just do what I say.”
“Ha. Good luck with that.”
He stood in front of me with a blue glove on his hand. “Give me your hardest punch.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?” he demanded. “I invited you here to train. What did you think we were going to do?”
“But punching a glove doesn’t seem like training.”
He glared at me, but it wasn’t in a threatening way like I’d seen before. “Make a fist.”
I followed his instruction even though it physically pained me to do it.
He gazed at my fist with an expert eye. “Good. Now give me your best shot.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Now, he really glared at me.
“Okay, fine.” I took the defensive stance my father taught me, and using my entire body, I threw the hardest punch I could.
Wilder moved back slightly with the hit, and a smile formed on his lips. “Excellent.” He ripped the glove off and tossed it aside.
“What? That’s it?” What kind of training is this?
“I’m going to throw a swing. I want you to block it.”
“Okay…”
He pulled his fists to his chest, covering his face. Then, without warning, he made his move.
I blocked it with my forearm and pushed it aside.
He dropped his stance and smiled again. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
Wilder was in his own world. “Now, I want you to evade.”
“Evade?”
Like a snake, he pounced on me. He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around, my back to his chest. He tightened his grip like a python. “Get out of this.” One arm was across my neck. He could put pressure on it and choke me out if he wanted to. “You have five seconds or you’re dead.”
I stomped on his foot with my heel, threw my head back, and then twisted his arm until his body pivoted away. I kicked him in the back of the knee and he fell to the mat.
For just getting his ass kicked, he was awfully cheery. “Great. That was great.”
Was he training me? Or just trying to figure out what I knew?
He grabbed a long stick from the corner then began spinning it like a professional. He lunged at me and tried to trip me with the rod.
