Stuart pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded.
“So let’s go back to the beginning.”
“Well, Joselyn and I grew up together. We were neighbors.” Stu looked away, his fists clenching. “And when my old man sought an outlet for his anger, sh—she’d patch me up, or let me hide out till the storm blew over.”
Finn eyed Joselyn from his peripheral vision. This “guardian of the helpless” a side of her he’d never envisioned. She always seemed too self-involved to fit that bill.
“Our sophomore year in high school, she moved back to the estate and I was all alone. Helpless.” Stuart dug his fingers into the short nap of his buzz cut, raked his nails into his scalp several times before pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.
“I missed her. And I knew she was having a hard time adjusting to her new school so I decided I’d look out for her—like she did for me all those years.” He shook his head, coming out of a trance of memory. “But I promise you, I would never hurt her.”
“Where were you last Friday night between ten and one?”
“I was in my apartment, I swear. I’ve been trying to stay away from Joselyn, but she inspires me. The picture of perfection that I must capture. It’s like everything’s all wrong when I can’t see her. Even if it’s only from far away. Her beauty fills my soul. It stills the rage inside. She’s my Sun and my symphony. She’s everything.”
Sal grunted, apparently as nauseated by Stu’s Romeo act as Finn.
Stuart darted a glance to the glass. “Is she here? I need to see her. Joselyn!” He sprang from his chair, and Finn saw Joselyn flinch, her fingers reaching for an armrest that wasn’t there.
On reflex Finn captured her hand, twining his fingers with hers and bringing them to his thigh. Her eyes made contact, swimming with a fearful sadness that made him ache all over. “It’s okay. You’re safe.” I won’t let anyone hurt you. The words he voiced crooned so soft he wasn’t sure she’d heard him. But then, her arm relaxed, and she made no effort to retract her hand.
“I saw her with that guy. Who is he anyways? He’s no good for her. I saw them wrestling in her room, made me sick the way he had his hands all over her. Trying to kiss her.” Sal’s cheek twitched, a foreboding grin tipping his mouth like he’d acquired some ammunition. But against Stu or Finn?
“He’ll use you like all the rest of them. He’ll never love you like I do!” Stu screamed, banging against the glass before Sal restrained him.
Joselyn’s eyes widened, her hand clamping hard.
“Hey?” Finn touched her cheek, angling her face toward him. “You don’t need to listen to this. Let me take you home. They’ll fill us in on the highlights tomorrow.” His unruly thumb stroked the graceful curve of her cheekbone. Her skin unbearably soft. And when a few silken strands of hair caressed the back of his hand he couldn’t help but test the softness there to compare, rubbing a lock of minky black hair between his fingers before tucking it behind the delicate shell of her ear.
He was on sensory overload. Every touch was impossibly electric and explicitly transcribed from his fingertips to every aching cell in his body.
Not good. Finn was enjoying their arrangement too much. And in a way he’d never anticipated.
She nodded without a word. Keeping her hand fastened in his, he helped her from her chair, and ushered her out of the FBI building. But it got him thinking … by the time this was all over, would it be as easy to get her out of his heart?
When he climbed in bed an hour later, he almost prayed for the same old nightmare, because if he dreamed about tonight he knew he’d eventually wake up with another broken heart.
And that would be more hell than he’d ever endured in a fire.
“Stand right there, okay sweetheart? Don’t move. It’s gonna be okay.”
Was it? Finn’s hands trembled as he set down the little girl, wrapped in her fuzzy pink blanket, in the narrow slice of her bedroom floor unravaged by fire. God, had she even heard his instruction over the roaring blaze?
There was no way out. An infernal wall barricaded the only doorway and a massive wooden hutch was obscuring most of the barred window in the tiny cluttered bedroom.
The girl’s overdosed mother had already been rescued by Ryker. She was unconscious and being tended to by the paramedics while her maybe three-year-old daughter still risked being burned alive from her neglect.
Finn’s pulse hammered against his temples with a sharp ache, his blood blazed through his veins like liquid fire. The scorching heat seeming to melt the rest of his skin to match the back of his burned neck. He blinked, the haze of heat whittled away visibility to a degree, but it was the overpowering pain that fed black blotches into his sweat-and-smoke-stung eyes.
Gripping the smooth handle of the ax he was praising God he’d grabbed, he went to work hacking at the loose board beneath his feet. Swinging with ferocity he didn’t know he possessed, the floor opened up with only four nearly blind, yet miraculously placed, strikes. He swept the trembling child back into his arms and eased down to the hole he created in the burning floor.
Slithering tentacles of fire nipped at his flame-resistant pants. The little girl’s slender arm flung out into the encroaching flames. Finn snatched it back, and she swayed in his arms, her eyelids drooping until the final flicker of her eyelashes veiled her tormented eyes. And like the old teddy bear she clutched to her chest, she went limp.
Chapter 18
Joselyn Whyte
“What are you doing? Are you coming in?” Since she was still a bit shaken, Finn had offered to drive her Rover home from the FBI. A thoughtful gesture that didn’t fit his standard MO.
But now he was acting like the night wasn’t over.
The silver glow of the moon illuminated the mischief in his shadowed eyes, turning them into mysterious orbs of moonlit magic.
“That an invitation?” His lips tugged in a sly smirk, tapping a dimple in his right cheek.
“Pfff. You wish.”
His deep chuckle rang in her ears, surrounding her in a melodic haze. “Relax, Joss. I’m just walking you to the door.”
Oh.
Before she’d even registered his absence he was opening her door, taking her hand like some Prince Charming to aid her exit, and then pressing a guiding hand to her back along the frost-encrusted path glittering like diamond dust.
On the porch he turned to face her. With one glance at those bedroom eyes the frantic chug of her heart came to a screeching halt.
It felt like a real date, only it wasn’t.
Not many real dates end after leaving an FBI interrogation. Stuffing her hands into her coat pockets, she avoided his eyes. But, oh she could feel them. Probably reading right through her BS veneer.
“This is the part when I kiss you good night, Joss.” His voice rumbled like a distant thunder, charges hung in the air ready to light up the sky with one word of compliance.
Her gaze jolted to his. “Not a chance.” She’d meant to insert vehemence, but when the words wobbled she realized she’d gravely missed the mark.
He smiled. His eyes much too keen. “Might want to check your contract. You see, one of the perks of our little arrangement is that I get hands-on privileges. Gotta keep up appearances.”
There was no contract. Was there? Her father might have made him sign something to keep him quiet. “I don’t recall that section. Might have to confer with my lawyer and get back with you.”
“Trust me, it’s in the rider.” He slipped his arms around her waist, levering her closer until their bodies almost touched. His minty breath both hot and cool, brightened in her sinuses, caressed her face with a potent sweetness. The strength in his grip made her want to lean in the rest of the way and surrender.
But this wasn’t a real date. He was probably toying with her. And if she let him know how much she wanted him, there’d be no undoing the humiliation that would follow.
“W—Why kiss me? There’s no one watching us.” Was it p
ossible he had real feelings for her?
“I think tonight proves that might not be true. You never know who’s watching.”
She shivered at the reminder. Could Stuart really have tried to kill her? Or was the real killer still out there? Watching. Waiting to strike again.
“You must really get your rocks off by messing with me.” She draped her arms around his neck, crossing her wrists, and locking into his sexy stare.
Playing along. That’s all you’re doing.
That cocky grin unleashed his dimples. “There are worse ways to pass the time. Now shut up and let me kiss you.”
“Fine. One kiss. But so help me if your lips so much as part, or your hands wander to restricted areas—”
Finn cut off her words at the source. Warm lips covered hers, pressing gently, sweetly … perfectly. A tenderness in his kiss she’d never imagined he was capable of. Champagne bubbles flooded her veins and tingled down to her toes.
Wow. Her toes literally curled in her boots.
Joselyn inhaled a sharp and sweet breath of his manly spice—all Finn. Her lips relaxed against his gentle pressure. Her wrists unhooked from their passive pose, preparing to weave her fingers into his hair, caress his face, pull him closer, part his lips—
But his hands hadn’t moved.
Not even a twitch.
She wished she hadn’t run her mouth off and put so many restrictions on the kiss that she wanted too desperately to deepen. And then as suddenly as he laid it on her, he pulled away. Mere seconds of enticing bliss vanishing before the world’s softest lip-lock could take flight.
“All right then, good night.” He stepped off the porch, unfazed and not even looking at her, as headlights swung into the lot signaling Archer had arrived, fulfilling his promise to give Finn a ride home.
Dang it! Joselyn kicked off the covers, breathing hard, and practically bathing in yet another unseasonal hot flash.
How many times could she relive that moment from last night? Every time she woke—hourly—she was right back on the front porch, lost in that innocent kiss. It wasn’t much more than a peck, yet it tortured her brain like it was some forbidden red-hot tryst.
Good grief. It hadn’t even meant anything to him. He’d made that crystal clear.
Yet here she was, swooning like some love-struck sixth-grader over her first chaste kiss with a boy.
The real problem was if that PG kiss was turning her inside out, what would have happened if it had progressed to the real thing?
Never going to happen. Couldn’t happen. It would push her past the point of no return. And Finn didn’t feel that way about her. He just toyed with her emotions in his selfish little game. In that regard, he and Cody were the same. They were masters of manipulation, and she had been clay in their hands.
For years she’d invoked every therapeutic technique in the book to keep those memories at bay. But this constant contact with Finn had all those scraps of memory and all the bludgeoning emotions straining against the levee she’d painstakingly built.
You’re all alone. The darkness whispered in her ear, and the film of sweat coating her body instantly chilled.
Joselyn rolled onto her side and drew her knees to her chest. The loneliness pressed all around her. Both vacant and suffocating, she felt it shackling her to those old fears she’d thought she’d banished for good.
“No!” Squeezing her eyes tight, she pressed her hands over her ears.
You are not a victim. You are strong. The past can’t control you. She recited the psycho-babble mantra that had once rallied her diving spirits—encouraged her to keep on living past the pain and emptiness. The betrayal and abandonment.
But now the words felt as flimsy as the muscle definition in her spindly arms and as ill-equipped for the task of untangling the tragic mess of her life.
The twisted battle of depression still had a hold on her after all these years. But though the pull was strong, Joselyn was still fighting. Searching for something more. Something worth living for. Or maybe now … something worth dying for.
She’d been prescription free for years, but she shot up in bed and dug into the top drawer of the nightstand for the simplest pleasure she knew of that could boost her spirits. Her fingers rummaged the contents of Sadie’s guest room drawer, knowing there’d been some left after the last binge.
Getting frustrated, she clicked on the bedside lamp. The smooth book her hand had grazed a dozen times in search of that sweet surrendering crinkle was a Bible. A now crumpled Post-it note still clung to the surface.
This works better, I promise!
Sadie’s neatly scrawled handwriting proclaimed from the yellow square. Oh, Sadie. I wish that were true. Humoring her, Joselyn flipped open the cover. The inside housed another Post-it.
No, I did not steal your M&M’s!
Stop plotting your revenge.
Look in the second drawer.
Love you!
Joselyn snickered, amazed at the calm overshadowing her despair with only a few words from a loving friend.
That or the mystical effects of this old book in her hands.
Worth a shot.
Deciding to play the lotto, she flipped open to somewhere in the middle. It’s not like she was going to read the whole thing anyway, and the juicy stuff was always in the middle.
Isaiah. Okay. Here goes.
“Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, yes I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
A blanket of heat snuggled around her, snuffing out the shivers that had grabbed hold moments before. The endorphin rush—or whatever it was—tiptoed through her like the wonderment of a child awakening and sneaking out of bed on Christmas Eve. Unsettled, she flipped ahead a few pages.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not—”
The air sucked from her lungs, severing her words. The room seemed to glow with warmth, becoming a refuge from the despair and loneliness that had become her constant companions. The words echoing in her mind: When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Her heart raced. What’s going on? Fear clawed at the soft wave of comfort.
An illusion?
Was her sleep-deprived brain playing tricks on her?
She was always freezing so why did the room feel so warm and cozy all of a sudden?
Fear not.
Bold, beautiful words. But much like the recited mantra from her old therapist, they were just that. Words. How would they ever be enough to slay her dragons and free her from the captivity of her fears?
“Hey Sadie, do you know if Sal is waiting outside yet?” Joselyn hollered down the hall.
“Don’t see him, but you know how he is—all tuned in and sneaky. I swear, the man could swindle some serious scratch as a psychic.” Sadie called back.
Slipping on a short oatmeal-colored sweater dress with black faux-leather leggings and over-the-knee boots, Joselyn gave the full-length mirror a glance. Adding her mother’s locket on an extra-long chain, she wandered out to meet Sadie in the kitchen. She had to squint against a vivid splash of sunshine, but after the long, restless night at least it served as a reminder that today was a new day.
“I know it’s bright in here. It snowed last night, and the glare through this window is intense. I need to install a new shade.” Sadie poured a cup of coffee for herself and a hot water with a China Green Tips tea bag for Joselyn. “Did you sleep all right? I think I saw your light on a couple times.”
“Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.” Like the kiss I shared with your brother. “And I was going over some last-minute choreography for today.”
Sadie nodded innocently, though something in her eyes silently challenged
the load of bull Joselyn dished out from behind her steaming mug. “Umm hmm. So what’s on the agenda today?”
Keeping preoccupied, Joselyn pulled out a bowl and a box of Lucky Charms from the cupboard and started in on breakfast. “Mamma Mia! practice, dress fitting for the Christmas gala—oh, that reminds me. I haven’t been able to get ahold of Finn today. He’s not answering his phone, and my dad was going to send over a tailor to get measurements for his tux.”
“It’s Saturday, I’m pretty sure he’s with Kendi.”
“Kendi?”
Sadie clamped her hand over her mouth. And Joselyn knew that look. It was usually followed by Sadie’s firm anti-gossip stance that went something like “If you wanna know, go to the source.”
Most often it was the thing Joselyn admired most about her. Sadie was a rock. Completely trustworthy and never catty. But today she wanted to know who Kendi was and chances were Sadie would not be humoring her request for information.
Something odd squirmed in her stomach, turning her few bites of marshmallows and sugared oats into a bundle of nerves and nausea. “Come on, Sadie.”
Her eyes, so like Finn’s, answered before she did. Then she sighed. “Ask Finn about her, okay. It’s not my place.”
“Girl, if I didn’t love you so much I sure wouldn’t like you right now.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing I’m so loveable, because I need a favor.” Sadie batted her lashes.
“Name it.”
“Be my maid of honor?”
A high-pitched squeal burst from Joselyn’s lips about the same time her spoon clanked against the glass bowl and splashed milk on the counter. “Yes! Of course. Have you set a date yet?”
The love shining on Sadie face was brighter than sunshine on fresh snow. “New Year’s Eve.”
From Winter's Ashes: Girl Next Door Crime Romance Series - Book Two Page 13
