Do I have to meditate to talk with you all the time? he asked before it left.
Now that you have opened yourself to me we can communicate much more easily. Simply ask and I will answer. With that it floated to the ceiling and winked out.
“Thank you,” he said out loud remembering Sam’s words.
He lay back down, tucked his arms behind his head and thought about what had just happened. It felt good to talk with someone who knew him so well. He wondered if this was the way Raya spoke with her guide. Did she see it or only hear it? He’d have to ask her.
If the injury inflicted on him by Parker was preordained destiny then it had to be for only one reason—to allow him to know Hannah better. In an odd way that made him happy. He knew what he had to do now. His guide hadn’t given him the answer but led him in the right direction to get the answer.
“You’re all right.” He said into the darkness. His reply was a hint of lavender drifting throughout the room.
Before he fell asleep he made a mental checklist of things to accomplish tomorrow.
Chapter Eighteen
Hannah had just returned from dropping Raya off at school. Since so much had happened at the school the board had arranged for the children to take classes in another building. It was an extra fifteen-minute drive but in the end it was worth it for the kids. They had all made regular visits to counselors discussing what had happened to them. Lucky for them they bounced back from trauma quickly.
She on the other hand was still having nightmares—the same one over and over again. Reed Parker pressing a gun to Ben’s head. In her nightmare she didn’t kill him in time. Instead she watched in horror as the bullet from the gun pierced Ben’s head. He looked at her, question and accusation in his eyes, before he fell to the floor.
She was exhausted. Functioning off only three hours of sleep a night was not working. She’d made several mistakes at work over the last couple of weeks and now was on probation with the restaurant she worked for. She had today off and planned on catching up on some sleep. She hoped.
Wanting to be comfortable she removed her jeans, sweatshirt and bra and then pulled on her oversized t-shirt. Next she crawled into bed under her thick blanket and closed her eyes. Once again her pattern started. Boomer’s face fixed itself firmly in her brain and projected itself behind her eyelids. She repositioned herself, buried her head in the pillow and tried again.
Now she not only saw him but his deep, rumbling voice bounced around inside her head. She groaned, pounded her fist into the mattress out of pure frustration and sat straight up.
“Okay I miss him. I get it,” she shouted into the empty room. “Now let me get some sleep.” She grumbled and muttered to herself as she plumped her pillow and nestled back into her bed.
Just as she dipped into the darkness she longed for she heard a relentless pounding on the fringes of her of her consciousness. More desperate for sleep than curious what the noise was she allowed herself to ignore it. It became harder and louder, dragging her back awake.
As her eyes fluttered open she realized someone was knocking on her door.
“Go away,” she groaned. The pounding persisted, harder and louder.
Tired, cranky and miserable she kicked her blankets off, flung her legs over the side of the bed and stomped to the door. Whoever was pounding was going to get a piece of her mind and a door in the face.
Jerking it open she snarled, “What?” Her mouth dropped open, her pulse quickened and her stomach took flight.
There he stood all six feet plus in denim jeans, a navy blue sweater and looking so yummy her mouth actually watered. His face looked thinner making his cheekbones protrude but his eyes were shiny and smiling even though his mouth wasn’t. And what a mouth it was. Instant heat flared between her legs.
“No, no, no, no,” she said shaking her head. This wasn’t fair. He had no right showing up out of the blue and catching her off-guard like this. “Go away.”
“Nope,” Boomer said leaning against the doorjamb and folding his arms.
“What do you mean nope? You don’t belong here, go home.” She tried to close the door but his big foot was wedged between it and the jamb.
“You can slam the door on me but I’ll stay here and pound on it all day and night if I have to.”
His lazy drawl sent chills down her spine and across her skin. It wasn’t going to work. She wouldn’t let him back into her heart so he could smash it to pieces again.
“Good for you. Pound away I don’t care.” She kicked his foot away and shoved the door closed. That was the first step. The next step would be not to open it again. Shouldn’t be so hard she thought to herself.
She tried to walk away, really tried but couldn’t. Instead she pressed her ear against the door and listened. If he left she’d hear his footsteps but she didn’t hear anything.
“I know you’re there, Hannah,” he whispered on the other side of the door. “All I want to do is talk.”
The nerve, she fumed inside her head. How dare he pull his training techniques on her? This was her home not some hold up for a gun-crazed psycho.
“Talking requires listening. You don’t listen, remember? Go away.”
“You’re wrong, I do listen when I’m thinking clearly.”
“Too late, Ben Campbell, too damn late. You had your chance.” She leaned her back against the door and folded her arms over her chest. Why did he insist on tormenting her like this? Wasn’t it bad enough she still cared for him even though he broke her heart? God, she had to be the biggest idiot in the world.
“I’m asking for another chance, Hannah.”
“No. I can’t afford to give second chances. You took your shot at me with that comment about dancing. Guess what? You scored a direct hit right to the heart. It’s down for the count.”
“Then let me take another shot at healing it. Please Hannah.”
“Go to hell, Ben,” she yelled slapping her hands on the door and then walked away.
She was halfway across the room when her door crashed open. She whirled around with fire in her eyes. There he stood, her door hanging off the hinges behind him.
“What the hell? Do you people have something against my door? I have to live here ya know.” She was already low on funds from being off so much during the Parker mess. How was she going to pay for this?
Boomer gave her that look that could melt a glacier and walked toward her. Her heart raced and her hands shook. She was helpless against that look.
“Stay away from me,” she said backing away.
He kept coming, the heat intensifying in his eyes. When she backed up against the couch he reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her hard against his body.
“I have things to say to you and you’re going to listen.”
She felt his chest rumble against hers as he talked.
“We can talk like this or you can sit down. The choice is yours. I prefer this way.”
“I’ll sit,” she squeaked. If she let him hold her much longer she would melt into a puddle.
He released her and gave her a tiny shove. She flopped down on the couch, tugged her nightshirt down over her knees and folded her arms over her chest. If she didn’t look at him she could get through this.
“First off I apologize for making that comment to you about your dancing. It was wrong, low and I felt like a jackass for saying it. On the other hand I was proud of the way you handled it. You put me in my place and I deserved it.”
“Damn straight you did,” she muttered.
“Second I acted like a child. I should have given you the chance to explain your situation. Instead I threw a temper tantrum and I apologize for that as well. But I won’t apologize for being hurt. Just like you I have issues and being used is one of them.”
Hannah opened her mouth to say something then closed it quickly. He had her there. Talk about feeling like a jackass.
“I fell hard and fast for you and hearing that you only wanted me
around to protect you was like a knife in the chest. If you had been up front with me, told me who he was and how scared you were I would have understood. Things probably wouldn’t have moved as fast with us but I have to believe that we would have gotten there eventually.”
Again she opened her mouth to respond but words wouldn’t come.
“Then when I had time to think, really think about it I realized how scared you were. You were putting Raya ahead of yourself, of your own happiness and I can respect that.”
She glanced up at him. His words were stern but his face was soft and understanding. This wasn’t helping her. When he dropped down on the couch next to her she froze. This closeness was too much for her system to handle.
“When I saw you inside that building, bloody and terrified, everything clicked. I didn’t care how you handled the situation any more. None of that mattered. I only cared about you and Raya. Thinking about life without you was scary. I wanted to kill him myself, Hannah. I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and feel his life draining away for hurting you and Raya. I don’t kill easily and it isn’t something I’m proud of doing but every time he touched you and hurt you I wanted it more and more.”
Hannah closed her eyes and dropped her head back on the couch. She was losing her battle.
“I would have gladly taken a bullet for you and died happy knowing you two were safe. You’re what I’ve been waiting for. Women are so complex. You’ve got that go-to-hell, take-me-as-I-am, don’t-fuck-with-my-kid, brass-balls attitude, yet your passion burns like fire. You’re so giving and sensual, not afraid to open yourself to me. I love you and I need to know if you care about me at all.”
Hannah thought for a moment then she turned toward him. “You’ve had your say, now I get mine. I’m sorry I hurt you. You can’t begin to believe how sorry I am. I was confused. I wanted to know if you were as great as your brother and Sam made you out to be. No one’s that great. But every time we were together I began to see that maybe you were. I also needed a way to protect Raya. When the doctor said he would release you if you had someone to watch over you, well I took the chance. I promised myself that I would explain the situation to you but then things moved so fast. You were interacting with Raya like you two had been friends all your lives. You talked to me like an equal and like you actually cared what I had to say.”
She cleared her throat, twisted her hands and prepared for the next part.
“And then there was the sexual tension. I know I’ve been out of the game for a long time but I do know that kind of thing doesn’t happen to everyone. Just a touch of your hand makes me respond. I tried to fight it. At first I thought maybe it was the whole hero thing. You saved my daughter’s life, running out of the blast like something you see in a movie but you were real. Then I realized it was so much more than that.
I wanted to tell you that morning. I tried to tell you but I knew you would leave me at that point. I let things go too far. When your friends showed up I knew it was over. I could only hope that you would understand.”
“And I screwed up.”
“No, we both did. Face it, the two of us are lousy with this relationship thing. Do I care about you? I haven’t slept in weeks. I’ve screwed up so badly at work that I’m on probation because I can’t get my head out of my ass and my seven-year-old has resorted to mothering me. I dream about you every night and I’ve been trying to convince myself that I you aren’t any good for me. No matter how hard I try to push you away you always come back, invading my every thought.”
Boomer lowered his head. Placing both hands on his cheeks, she raised his head.
“I can’t be with a man who throws my past in my face when he’s angry. It hurts coming from someone I care about so much. I won’t apologize for it and no one will make me feel trashy for it.”
“I wish I could take it back and I can swear it will never happen again,” he said.
She braced herself for what she was about to say. Her brain said it was a risk but her heart had already gone to him. There was no turning back now. “Yes, Ben, I care about you. Raya adores you and next to her you’re the most important thing in my world.”
When his shoulders sagged and he lowered his head again she thought he might be crying. Then he lifted his head and it was back. The fire, the heat, the want in his eyes. It took her breath, sent electricity sizzling across her skin and melted her heart.
“I should fix your door,” he said in a husky voice. “Wouldn’t want any nosy neighbors wandering in.”
“Un-hunh,” she responded. “That wouldn’t be good.”
He jumped from the couch, jammed the door in place and pulled out two zip ties securing the hinges. When he was finished he turned with dark, passionate eyes and set her ablaze. She was halfway there and he hadn’t even touched her yet. Would it always be like this?
In four long strides he was across the room, pulling her from the couch.
“Have I told you how sexy you are in that shirt?” he said running the palms of his hands up the backs of her thighs until they reached her ass. He gave her a quick squeeze and then gripped the bottom of her shirt and jerked it up over her head.
She gasped in shock.
“But you look even better this way.” Boomer slipped his arm under her legs and lifted her feet off the floor.
She couldn’t suppress the giggle that bubbled up. No one had ever carried her before. Tossing her arms around him she nestled her face in his neck taking in his masculine scent. This was right, she thought to herself.
Boomer stopped next to the bed and looked down at her. “I didn’t bring any protection with me.”
“That’s okay. I kept the box that you bought the last time. It’s in my nightstand.”
His smile was wide and sexy. Small dimples puckered in his cheeks. He lowered her down on the bed and positioned himself next to her. He lay there just looking into her eyes.
“What’s wrong, Ben?” Was he changing his mind?
“You are the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world.”
His deep, raspy voice and choice of words made her shiver. “As long as you think so, that’s all that’s important.”
He lowered his head and tenderly pressed his lips against hers. He was so soft and gentle she sighed, ran her hand up his shoulder around his neck and pulled him closer. Gentle was nice but she wasn’t in the mood for slow and easy. She had a need growing, burning and taking over her body.
She parted her lips beneath his and nipped at his bottom lip. He pulled back, looked down on her and smiled. He could see it in her eyes. She didn’t have to tell him what she wanted, he knew. He lifted up, pulled off his sweater and tossed it on the floor.
Her hands flexed before she reached up and ran them across his broad chest. She could feel his skin and muscles quiver under her touch. As she lowered them across his tight rippled stomach and down to his jeans he tensed. An evil smile spread across her lips. With quick, sure hands she unsnapped his jeans and lowered his zipper.
Fire was burning so hot between her legs and in the pit of her stomach she couldn’t hold back. Rising from the bed she yanked down his jeans and boxers freeing his engorged erection and licking her lips. He was so thick and long, the head glistening with a drop of his seed.
She leaned forward and caught it with the tip of her tongue. He groaned, pushed her back down on the bed and jerked her legs up and over his shoulders.
“I don’t have the patience for foreplay today, babe. Later but not now,” he growled as he leaned over, opened her nightstand drawer and plucked out a foil packet. He ripped it open with his teeth, slid on the latex covering and pressed himself inside her hot, slick, velvet tunnel.
Hannah’s eyes rolled back in her head as he stretched and filled her. “Yes,” she said on an exhalation. Only an hour ago she was sure she would never feel him again. She began to move her hips only to be stopped by his large hands grasping her hips.
“In time, babe.”
She wasn�
�t sure what he meant and then inhaled deeply when his thumb caressed her sensitive nub in circular motions. With slow movement he circled her clit on the outside several times and then made his way back to tease her swollen button. Back and forth he went taking her so high on pleasure she thought she would float in the air and explode.
She felt him lean forward and gasped when he took her nipple in his mouth and began sucking. More, she wanted more, to feel more. Her hands slid around the back of his head pressing him closer to her. Every cell in her body was screaming for release. She was so tight with tension she thought she might snap in half.
Unable to endure his torture anymore she shoved him away with brute force, laughed at the shocked look on his face and groaned when she pulled him out of her body. Before he could ask what was wrong she threw herself at him, forcing him back on the bed.
“I thought you said no foreplay,” she said straddling his body and sliding down over his erection. “Oh, Ben,” she said when he was completely inside her, “I can’t wait.”
She pumped up and down, almost pulling him completely out before plunging him deep inside her again. His hands grasped her breasts and squeezed before he pulled his torso off the bed and took one in his mouth. The sensation shot through her body like a bullet taking her to the brink of orgasm.
Her inner muscles clamped hard around him like a vice. Each stroke tightened them more. When he bit down on her marbled nipple bright colors exploded like fireworks in her eyes. Her walls surrounding him clenched with such force she screamed his name.
Somewhere she heard her name being called as he pulsed inside her. Wave after wave of ecstasy coursed through her body. They moved together as one, drawing out the orgasm. Just when she thought it would never end one last spasm tightened and then stopped. She was panting, sweating and happier than she’d been in years.
She opened her eyes and looked down at Boomer. He too was panting. Sweat beaded in rows across his brow and he was still looking at her with so much love it almost made her cry. Exhausted she lay on his chest, kissing his taut skin. His arms wrapped around her back.
Boomer's Fall Page 26
