Cara doubles over laughing. Well, that may be a relative terms since she can’t bend at the waist because of that belly, but she’s laughing hard enough that she’s crying. “Tony, I love you, but that has got to be the gayest thing I’ve ever heard you say. What happened to the badass romance reject I used to know and love?”
I swat her on the butt as I pass, needing more coffee if I have to deal with perky Cara this morning. But she’s right. I’m not the man I used to be, and that just proves my point. “I went and fell in love,” I inform her on my way to the double French doors.
“I’m happy for you, Bobo,” she calls out. I wave in acknowledgment, needing to get around testosterone before I allow my sister to tie me down with bon bons and chick flicks for the day.
“Hey, baby,” Dom greets me. He holds out his hand, guiding me to the seat next to him. I lean over for a quick kiss, ignoring Andrew’s mock protest from Dom’s other side. “We’re just about done here and then we’ll get headed out.”
“Sounds good,” I reply. “Pretend I’m not here and do what you need.”
“Yeah, like that’ll be possible,” Andrew mutters under his breath.
“You’re just jealous because you knocked Cara up and she’s not putting out,” Dom throws back. I shudder and stand, ready to bail if this conversation goes where I fear it will. I don’t need to know about my sister’s sex life.
Andrew chuckles as my breakfast threatens to revolt. This type of banter is normal for guys, but fuck, they’re talking about my sister here! “I’ll have you know my sex life is as healthy as ever. Maybe even more so.”
“Guys, please remember who you’re talking about,” I beg. “I’d like to stay the clueless little brother who thinks his sister never has sex.”
“Uh, I think it’s hard to ignore that,” Dom quips. “Unless she’s going to give birth to the second coming of Christ.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean. Tell you what, I’m going to head down to the garage and you two can catch up when you’re done working and hurling insults back and forth. It’s safer that way.”
Besides, given the choice between getting on the four-wheeler and listening to them bicker like old women and talk shop, I’ll take the thrill of the trail any day. I swear I almost hear angels singing as I turn on the lights in the garage. This is a grown man’s mecca. Not only are there quads and a boat, there’s a dirt bike, two snowmobiles and two jet skis. Either my brother-in-law has a hell of a lot more money than he lets on or he’s the master of finding bargains. Knowing him and given the fact that nothing looks brand new, I’d put my money on the latter.
I open the garage door before turning the key in the ignition of a red beast of a four-wheeler. I take my time running a few laps around the north side of the garage to get acclimated to the machine. Once I’m comfortable, I kick up the throttle and head for the open fields.
My body jostles from side to side, but my footing is sure as I travel further from the house. As anticipated, there’s no feeling in the world like cruising through the countryside at over forty miles an hour. The moment I turn the handlebars to the left, I know something’s not right. I ease off the throttle, but not quick enough.
Something snaps and my quad jerks hard to the right. Before I have time to react, my body flies off the vehicle. I scream and grunt as I make hard contact with the ground, landing on a pile of downed timber before I’m airborne again. There’s no time to try to brace myself for the next impact. Low hanging branches slap and poke into my skin as I keep tumbling down the steep embankment. My body comes to rest and I offer up a prayer of thanks that I stopped before the next drop-off, which leads to the creek. Just as I stare up the hill, I let out one last weak scream before everything goes dark.
Something’s felt off all day. It’s the pit in my stomach that Tony teases me about mercilessly. He loves to tell me that I must have been an old woman in a previous life with the amount of worrying I do. To my credit, living with Tony has caused me to force myself to stop obsessing over everything that could go wrong unless I wanted to eventually wind up hospitalized with a bleeding ulcer or a heart attack.
But today, that feeling is back. I tried telling myself that it’s because this is the first time Tony and I have been on an actual vacation and Andrew’s hell bent on taking the quads out. Luckily for all of us, Andrew didn’t push the issue when I said I didn’t want to go out on the boat. I’ve been on the water plenty of times, but not since Brandon and there’s an added element of paranoia when the people I love are with me. I know it makes no sense, but the last time I did anything adventurous with the man I loved, he died.
“You okay over there?” Andrew asks as he packs away his laptop. Tony wasn’t even out of sight when Andrew started trying to wrap up our little pow-wow. We were both amused by the fact that I was the one trying to make sure everything was in order before closing down for the day for once. I can’t help it; now that Andrew and Tony have me thinking about this new venture, I want to make sure it’s done right.
“I’m fine.” I’ve never told Andrew about my gut because it does make me seem like a sissy. After all, there’s no such thing as men’s intuition. That’s a gift stereotypically reserved for the softer sex.
“You sure about that? You look pale. If you want, I’ll go catch up with Tony and you can relax here. I’m sure Cara would love to start planning the next wedding,” Andrew teases, trying to ease my mood.
“Fuck that,” I huff. The therapist Jason got me in touch with says I have to face these fears when they arise. If I don’t, I’m continuing to let Brandon’s ghost lead my life and I’m dragging Tony down with me. That’s something I refuse to do. “Come on, let’s do this if we’re doing it.”
I bound down the stairs to the backyard with forced enthusiasm, tripping down the last two steps. “Did you hear that?” I ask, bile rising in my throat.
The noise was faint, but it sounded like someone screaming. Not just someone, but Tony. Get it together, Tricoli. Don’t let Brandon ruin today.
“Hear what?” Andrew asks. He opens the side door of the garage and we notice that one quad is already gone. “Shit.”
Andrew frantically straddles one of the remaining four-wheelers, peeling out of the garage the moment the rolling door is high enough. There’s no time for questions, so I follow suit. Andrew has always been the calm, level-headed one of the bunch, so the fact that something has him freaked out does nothing to ease my own trepidation. “Care to tell me what’s going on?” I scream so he can hear me over the roar of the engines.
“It might be nothing, but we need to catch him. The ATV he’s on needs some repairs before it’s ready to be ridden,” he yells back. I don’t say another word as I push the thumb-throttle as far forward as it’ll go.
Once I’m in the unmowed area of the property, I see matted grass where someone’s recently ridden. Seeing as we’re on private property, I decide to follow the trail. Tony’s the only person who should have been out here. When I find him, I’m going to kiss his face and then kick his ass for not making sure they were all safe vehicles. Then, I’m going to kick Andrew’s ass for not thinking to tell us ahead of time that one of them shouldn’t be ridden.
The tracks stop abruptly, so I take my thumb off the throttle. As I stand on the footboards, trying to figure out where Tony might have gone, I hear a soft noise to my right.
Please, God. Please let me be wrong. Just this once, let it turn out that I’m just being paranoid.
I jump off the four-wheeler and look over the edge of the embankment. There’s a section of the heavy thatch that’s disturbingly out of place. Again, I hear the noise but it’s fainter this time.
“TONY!” I scream, still praying as I sidestep my way down the rough terrain. More moaning. “Tony, I’m coming!”
This time, there’s no response. I start moving faster, my feet slipping on the grass. Looking down is a mistake when I see the red smears that shouldn’t be there.
T
he ATV comes into view, four tires pointed up the hill so I’m staring at the underside of the vehicle. I pull the cellphone out of my pocket, dialing 911 before I even see Tony. If that’s how the ATV looks, I can’t fathom there’s any chance we’re not going to need an ambulance out here as soon as possible.
Not again. I can’t do this again. Please God, don’t do this to me again. The thoughts are a mantra as I close the distance between Tony and me. “No!” I scream, racing around behind the ATV. I lift up on the handlebars, but it’s no use. Even with the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I can’t lift it up the hill. Defeated, I fall to my knees next to Tony.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay. I’m calling for help,” I promise him. “You have to stay with me, okay?”
Tony mumbles, blood streaming from a cut on his forehead. I shove my phone back into my pocket. The worthless piece of shit won’t connect.
“Dom! Tony!” I look up the hill to see Andrew slipping and sliding down to me.
“Go back up,” I instruct him. “You need to call for help. I don’t know the address out here. Tell them it’s bad. He’s pinned under the quad and I can’t lift it off him.”
I sit on the ground next to Tony’s head, feeling more helpless than I’ve ever felt in my life. With Brandon, there was no hope by the time I caught up to him. Now, I can do nothing other than stroke Tony’s blood-soaked hair, making promises I have no faith in myself.
“Help’s on the way, baby.” Tony’s breathing is shallow and labored. No longer able to hold it in, I lean over, puking all over the ground behind me. I need to do something. Anything.
Andrew rushes back down the hill. “Fuck,” he mutters, reaching out for a branch as he loses his balance. He rights himself, nearly jumping over the end of the ATV. “Dom, let’s see if we can work together to get this off of him. The ambulance will be here as soon as they can, but we have to get that weight off his chest.”
I nod mindlessly. I can feel my own body going into shock. Watching another man that I love slip away from me is more than my mind is able to process. Andrew reaches down to pull me off the ground. “You ready?” he asks and I nod again. “Okay, on the count of three. One… two… three…”
We both dig our heels in, pushing with our full bodies. With Andrew’s help, we’re able to move the ATV, but not enough. “Again,” Andrew demands. He counts and we shove the vehicle again, this time righting it on its wheels. “Hold it there.”
I do as I’m told as Andrew lifts the front bumper high enough to clear Tony’s legs. Once the ATV is safely out of the way, I fall to my knees, running my hands over every inch of his body. “Go back to the house and wait for the paramedics,” I instruct Andrew, schooling my features so maybe Andrew won’t see how dire the situation is.
“Dom, I don’t feel right leaving you out here with him.” Andrew crouches next to me, placing his fingers on Tony’s neck. The pulse is there, but it’s weak. I know because I haven’t stopped counting the heartbeats since my fingers landed on Tony’s wrist.
“Would you rather Cara find out something’s wrong when the ambulance pulls in? Go!” I yell. “There’s nothing more we can do for Tony right now, but he’ll never forgive us if she flips out and something happens to the baby. Go. I’ll be fine.”
Andrew gives me a quick hug that offers little comfort and stands over us. “If anything changes, call me.”
“I will. Please tell them to hurry.” My voice falters as Andrew runs up the hill.
Tony’s raspy breaths and my sobs fill the air as I pray help will arrive in time. It has to. Surely, there’s no way any higher power could do this to a person twice in one lifetime.
Tony’s been in surgery for six hours and thirty-four minutes. The bitter coffee in my paper cup has long since turned cold. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. After Mercy Flight arrived, Andrew, Cara and I jumped into the car and raced to Strong Memorial Hospital to begin the agonizing waiting game.
I’m not sure how I’d have made it this long if not for Cara. She’s the only one who’s able to get any direct information from the doctors because she’s his family. She tried telling them that I’m Tony’s husband, a slight bend in the truth, but they paid no attention to her. In a completely selfish way, I’m okay with that because I’m not sure I could have made some of the decisions they asked her to. Even though she gave the same answers I would have, just hearing them ask about end-of-life directives sent me spiraling into the abyss.
“He’s going to be okay,” Andrew says as he sits in the chair next to me. “Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and eat before he gets back from surgery?”
“I won’t leave him,” I snap. I have no intention of getting out of this seat until I know Tony is okay. The doctors told Cara that he has something called a burst fracture in his L1 vertebra. What that means, as the doctor impatiently explained, is that the vertebra was crushed in all directions. They had to stabilize him before doing surgery, which meant a night of tests and waiting. He’ll probably never walk again, but we can work with that because at least he’s alive.
“Dom, you’re not going to be any good to anyone if you collapse from exhaustion,” Cara soothes, sitting on my other side. I take each of their hands in one of mine and say another prayer. For someone who’s spent years claiming I’m not religious, I sure am now. The fact that Tony’s still alive is a miracle, but he’ll need a few more before he’s out of the woods. “If I have something brought in here, will you eat it?”
I cock my head to the side, wondering if she’s going to give up if I tell her no. She’s enough like her younger brother that I figure it’s a lost cause. “I’ll try,” I concede.
Cara goes to the nurse’s station to make sure we’re allowed to eat in the waiting room. They’ve been amazing so far, to the point of finding an empty on-call room where Cara could sleep. Like me, she refuses to leave until Tony’s stable and out of surgery.
I jump out of my seat when I see the doctor approaching Cara. Andrew’s right behind me as we rush to her side. “…everything went according to plan. He’s in recovery now, but as soon as he’s settled into his room, family will be allowed in to see him.” The doctor narrows his eyes, making his stance on whether or not I’ll be allowed to see the man I love abundantly clear.
“Doctor Mayhew, thank you for everything,” Cara says in a syrupy sweet voice. “As soon as Tony’s comfortable, we’ll all be eager to see him.”
“Mrs. Rossi, right now I feel you’d be better served focusing on your brother’s recovery. We’ll know in the next day or two what his prognosis will be and he’s going to need your support--”
Andrew steps between his wife and the doctor, likely to keep the pregnant woman’s hormones from leading to a manslaughter charge. “With all due respect, Dom will be the one caring for Tony when he leaves and as such, I believe you would be wise to follow his sister’s wishes that he be informed of every update.” He squares his shoulders, rising to his full six-foot four-inch height. He’s pissed off enough right now that even I’m a bit scared of him. “If you can’t or won’t do so, we will request another doctor be placed in charge of Tony’s care.”
The doctor’s eyes flit nervously from Andrew to me and back again. I’m half waiting on him to call security to have all three of us thrown out. “As I told your wife, they are not legally married, so all information will be filtered through a family member. In this case, it would be Caroline or yourself. Once Tony is awake, he will be able to make his wishes known.”
“Andrew, Cara, it’s fine,” I say quietly. Even if he is an asshole, Dr. Mayhew is right about one thing: Tony’s recovery is the only thing that matters right now. If we have to wait for him to wake up and put the doctor in his place, so be it. I don’t expect my fiancé to be in great spirits after he’s told he has lost the use of his legs, so I pity the man who upsets him. It sure as hell won’t be me.
Only because I don’t want any more tension in the air between us, I walk away from t
he nurse’s station to reclaim the seat that may be permanently compressed to fit my butt at this point. I look up when I hear someone enter and see one of the nurses who have been checking on us periodically. “Honey, don’t mind him. He’s an insufferable ass. We’ll make sure you get in to see your man as soon as the doctor leaves for the night.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. My shoulders slump forward and I feel the tears building behind my eyes. I’ve cried so much in the past day, I’m not sure how there are tears left to fall, but they just keep coming.
The middle-aged black woman crouches in front of me. “Don’t mention it,” she says, rubbing my arms. “Every nurse out there is jealous of Tony because it’s plain to see how devoted you are to him. If you ask me, I think that doctor is a bit jealous because he can’t find anyone willing to put up with his crabby ass.”
We share a weak laugh over her candid comments. “Will you tell me about him?” she asks, moving to the chair next to me.
I lift my head, taking in the pale blue walls around me. Everything about this room is supposed to invoke a sense of calm in the family members waiting for news, but I swear I can feel the walls closing in around me. The last person to make that request of me was Tony, asking me to share a happy memory about Brandon.
Remembering how he urged me to focus on the positive, I tell the nurse tale after tale of the whirlwind that has been the past seven or so months in my life. I leave out some of the more sordid details, but by the time Andrew walks in, there’s no doubt in her mind that Tony and I were destined to be together.
Now that I know Tony’s out of surgery and I’m going to have to wait to see him, I need to do something before I lose my mind. “Andrew, I’m going to listen to your wife and go get something to eat,” I inform him, ignoring his slack jaw at my statement. “Do you want anything?”
Dance With Destiny Page 21
